Scarred (Unlikely Heroes Book 5) (16 page)

She fell more heavily against him, her breasts squishing against his chest. She kissed him back, hesitantly at first, then more boldly as she gained confidence in herself. Her hands moved up to brush through his hair, gently stroking, while she continued to kiss him. God, it felt so good, her soft hands in his hair.
She
felt so good, pressed against him. He wanted her hands all over him. Everywhere. He wanted his hands all over her. He wanted to taste her. Everywhere. 

These tender kisses weren’t enough. He needed more.

Sebastian flicked his tongue out, gently pressing against her lips, urging her to open for him. She moaned softly, her lips parting. It was all the invitation he needed. He slipped his tongue in her mouth, seeking hers. Her tongue stroked his, sending heat coiling in his loins, making him rock hard with desire. He groaned. His hands moved down her body, stroking up and down. She was perfection in every way. Long and lean, yet curvy in all the right places. He wanted to feel her smooth, soft skin against his. Bury himself in her heat. Lose himself in her, and let it all go.

She made a soft, panting noise against his mouth, drawing back.

“Sebastian.” Her words were breathless and needy.

Fuck.

He drew in a ragged breath.

Slow down. You’re moving too fast. Don’t fuck this up.

He gazed up into her flushed face. “Do you want to stop?”

“No.” She breathed in, then out. “But I think we should. If we don’t…” She lowered her gaze. “We’re going too fast. This is…new territory for me. It’s scary.”

She was right. They needed to slow the fuck down.

He sat up. She scooted away.

He grabbed her hand.

“Sit with me for a bit. Please. You help me relax. You help me forget how fucked up I am inside.”

She scooted back across the bed to his side. “Of course I’ll sit with you. You know that.”

He let out a deep sigh. “You’re too good for me, you know that? I don’t deserve you. I can’t believe you’re here with me now, that you didn’t take off the moment I told you the truth.”

Some of the truth, anyway. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell her the whole truth
.

She settled next to him, leaning back against the headboard, her shoulder pressing against his. “You might think you used me, but you didn’t, not really. I know I’m a bit gullible sometimes, but I think I’m a good judge of character. I’ve never felt anything bad coming from you. You’re a good person. And I think, right now, you’re probably my best friend.”

Damn. She was as alone as he was. How could that be possible? How could someone as sweet and good as Emily not have hundreds of friends?

“What about your female friends? Certainly you have lots of them.”

“No. I haven’t had a true friend, except for my stepmom, since before my abduction.”

Sebastian squeezed her hand. “I guess you and I are more alike than I thought. My only true friends are Craig and Karen.”
Though Craig’s on my piss list at the moment.
Sebastian was still mad at Craig for the way he’d interrogated Emily at lunch the other day.

“And me,” Emily added softly.

“And you. You know more about me than anyone else.”

She squeezed his hand back. “Will you tell me more about you, Sebastian? I don’t know very much. We can play a question and answer game. Like…I ask you something like white bread or wheat bread and you answer.”

Sebastian chuckled. “White bread.”

Emily giggled. “Typical man. I like wheat better. Now your turn.”

Sebastian leaned more comfortably against the pillows. This was a game he didn’t mind playing. “Hmm. Dog or cat?”

“Dog.” She turned her head, her gaze meeting his. “And you?”

“Dog.” He sighed. “God, I miss Scar.”

“I know.” She gently ran her fingers up and down his arm. She lowered her gaze. “Mountains or beaches?”

“Mountains. And you?”

“Mountains. Water scares me.”

“Really?” As brave as she was, she had a fear of water. Sebastian stored that information for later use. When they reached his Venice Beach house, he intended to help her overcome that.

They played the game for the next hour. Sebastian found himself relaxing completely with her, snuggling back into the pillows. He’d never been this comfortable, this relaxed, around anyone before.

And then, for the first time in years, he fell asleep. 

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Emily woke to a warm, hard body lying next to hers. At first she was confused, then alarm arced through her. She jerked her head to the side. Sebastian was sound asleep in the bed next to her. Relief swarmed through her. She recalled getting up in the middle of the night and covering them both with the blankets. They were both still fully clothed. How many years had it been since he’d slept at night? Had she helped cure his insomnia?

Unable to resist, she turned and faced him, careful not to wake him. He looked so peaceful in sleep, his body relaxed instead of tense like it was when he was awake. She stared at his beautiful face, his long, thick eyelashes and smooth cheeks, the dark beard stubble lining his jaw, those sexy, kissable lips she’d tasted briefly the night before.

Heat crept into her cheeks. Sebastian was a good kisser. She hadn’t wanted him to stop last night, but had feared if she let him continue, they would end up making love. Sebastian had a bad reputation with women, which he had admitted to. Emily was still scared to death he would only use her. She wanted to believe he wasn’t like that anymore, but what if he hadn’t changed? What if he only wanted sex from her? She’d vowed she would never allow a man to use her for sex ever again.

Sex with Sebastian would be consensual, not forced. She sensed it would be nothing like what she’d endured during her three years as a captive. But knowing that didn’t erase her fears. She and Sebastian were already closer than she’d ever been to another human being besides her father and stepmother. Whatever was growing between them was rare and special. And she cherished it with all her heart. If they made love, would their bond be ruined? She didn’t want to lose his friendship. She was falling in love with him and feared it might be a terrible mistake. What if Sebastian wasn’t capable of love? What if he didn’t feel the same way about her that she was starting to feel about him?

“Stop thinking so hard.”

Emily jerked her gaze to Sebastian’s face. He stared at her, his gaze softer than she’d ever seen it. Flustered, she cleared her throat. “Did you…uh, sleep well?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

Her face grew warmer. “I didn’t really do anything.”

“You did more than you realize. It’s been ages since I’ve slept that well.” The look in his eyes was so genuine, so…thankful, that Emily’s heart lurched. Had she really helped him sleep? She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Did that mean he wasn’t as attracted to her as he’d said? Or did it simply mean her presence had helped him to relax?

“I don’t know what it means,” he went on, as if he’d read her mind. “All I know is I feel good this morning. Happy. For the first time in years. You know, you’re the first girl I slept with but didn’t really ‘sleep’ with.”

Her cheeks heated again. “Oh, well. Is that, um, good or bad?”

He reached over, snagged a lock of her hair. Gently rubbed it between his thumb and index finger. “Good,” he murmured. “Though it doesn’t mean I want you any less. I still want you, Emily. I trust that when you’re ready, you’ll let me know.”

She gave a shaky nod. “I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready, but not for the reasons you think. I…do want to be with you, Sebastian, but I’m scared.”

His gaze held hers. “I know. It’s all right. Our type of relationship is new to me too.” He cleared his throat. “Well, you ready to get up? We’ve got a long drive ahead of us. We need to hit the road if we want to make Los Angeles today.”

An hour later they were back on the motorcycle, heading south.

* * *

It was after midnight when they arrived in Los Angeles. It had been a long day. They’d stopped for lunch around noon, but had kept on through dinnertime. Emily’s stomach growled as Sebastian pulled the motorcycle into the garage of his Venice Beach house and closed the door. Her butt and back ached from sitting on the back of the bike all day. She managed to remove her helmet without Sebastian’s help this time. Emily stretched tiredly, then followed Sebastian into the house. 

“Come on. I asked the housekeeper to stock the fridge and pantry. Dinner should be in the fridge.”

The beach house was incredible. Huge windows, big open rooms, ceramic tile floors in the kitchen and dining room area, plush carpets in the living room, hallway and bedrooms, tropical plants scattered throughout. Sebastian opened the sliding glass door out into the backyard. Waves crashed on the beach, the sound reaching Emily’s ears.

“Take a look around while I fix dinner,” he suggested. He flicked on the yard light, waving her out back.

Emily stepped outside, glancing around at the tropical flare. Huge palm trees and tropical plants landscaped the rich, luxurious property. A large, rectangular swimming pool ran almost the entire length of the yard. And the ocean…

Though it was dark out, the light from the backyard gave off enough light to see the waves crashing along the beach not more than fifty feet away. The smell of saltwater filled the air.

Emily turned back to the house. Sebastian stood in the doorway, watching her. “You like it?”

She nodded. “It’s…impressive. I’m surprised you don’t live here instead of in Idaho.”

Sebastian turned away. “I couldn’t live here. Not anymore.”

Emily followed him back into the house.

“Would you like something to drink?” Sebastian asked over his shoulder.

“Water is fine.” Emily leaned against the kitchen center island while Sebastian removed two water bottles from the refrigerator. The microwave was humming, so whatever they were going to eat was heating up.  

He handed her a water bottle, then unscrewed the cap on his. Emily stared while he tipped his head back and took a sip. His throat moved as he swallowed.

He was so beautiful.

She jerked her gaze away.

“After dinner, we can go down to the beach if you want.”

“Okay.” She didn’t care what they did.

The microwave dinged. Sebastian moved away. Emily watched while he withdrew a large casserole dish.

“Chicken lasagna. You like lasagna?”

Emily nodded. “I’ll set the table. Where’s the plates?”

Sebastian motioned to a cupboard and Emily rushed to set the table. Moments later they were at the table, eating chicken lasagna.

Emily stared down at her plate. She was in Sebastian Wolfe’s Venice Beach house eating lasagna in his kitchen with him. And it wasn’t a dream.

A strange sense of euphoria washed over her. She, Emily Montgomery, was with Sebastian Wolfe. The hottest guy on the planet. He wasn’t just a celebrity, he was an amazing person. He rescued abused, injured, unwanted animals and found them loving homes. He had a big heart.

And she was falling for him. Hard.

The thought sobered her, bringing a rush of heat to her cheeks. Only a fool would fall in love with Sebastian. He was a playboy. He’d never had a serious relationship with a woman. He had commitment issues.

He said he wasn’t like that anymore.

Emily wanted so much to believe that.

Sebastian was a former drug addict. He’d spent three years in prison for possession of illegal drugs. He claimed to have been sober for six years now.
Six years.
That was a long time.

But what if he relapsed?

Sebastian was badly damaged inside. Emily wanted so much to help him. He needed someone to believe in him so he could believe in himself. No matter what happened between them, she couldn’t give up on him. He had no one else. He didn’t even have his dog anymore. He was probably as close to rock bottom as a person could get. She needed to be here for him. She couldn’t abandon him.

Sebastian was a risk she didn’t mind taking. Even if she ended up with a broken heart.

“So what made you decide to play bad guys after you got out of prison when before you only played good guys?”

He lowered his fork, setting it next to his plate. Slowly he lifted his gaze to hers. “Because I had a lot of darkness in me that needed to be freed. I figured I could release it if I played the villain. It’s not hard to play a bad guy when there’s so much pain and anger inside, when you’re so fucked up you can’t tell what’s you and what’s pretend.”

Emily drew in a sharp breath, her gaze never leaving his. “Stop saying you’re so horrible. You’re not. You’re a good person.”

He let out a sigh and lowered his gaze. “People thought prison changed me,” he whispered, staring down at his plate. “I suppose it did in some ways. But no one knew why I’d become an addict in the first place. No one knows about the son-of-a-bitch who spawned me, how he fucked me up so bad I don’t even know who the real me is anymore.”

A long silence stretched. Emily waited, watching him, hoping he’d reveal more.

“Prior to going to prison, I’d sworn off acting, vowed I’d never do it again. It only offered a temporary escape. When I was playing the role of a different character, I didn’t have to be me. I could pretend to be someone else. But three years is a long time behind bars. I spent that time thinking about my future and what I wanted to do with my life when I got out. I wanted to do something good. I wanted to open an animal rescue. I wanted to save things.”

He lifted his gaze to hers. 

“The first role I was offered—the only role—was that of a bad guy. I was reluctant to accept it at first. I’d always played the good guy, the handsome hero, the one the ladies’ loved. I’d played the type of man I wanted to be in real life. But a villain? Fuck no. I didn’t want to be the villain. I despised men like that. They reminded me of my father.”

Emily reached across the table and squeezed his hand. He swallowed, lowered his gaze again.

“After that role, I realized I was good at playing the bad guy. I had darkness in me. Demons inside. It wasn’t difficult to act when the role I was playing wasn’t much different than I was. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was corrupt. I had evil in me. I made a good villain.”

His gaze darted back to hers.

“You’re a brilliant actor, Sebastian, no matter what role you play. You’ve received awards for your performances. You even won an Academy Award last year.”

He snorted. “Yeah, for my portrayal of a sadistic bastard consumed by dark desires who stalked a woman, abducted her, and forced her to become his sex slave.” He flinched. “I’m sorry…”

She touched his arm. “It’s all right. I’ll admit I hated you in that movie. It brought back painful memories for me. But that just shows how brilliant of an actor you are. You’re not like that character, Sebastian. Not even close.”

He sighed. “But if I won an award playing such an evil bastard, what does that say about me?”

“That you’re very talented. Nothing more.”

He let out a soft groan. “I still have darkness in me, I still have anger swirling inside. Some days it takes every ounce of my self-control to keep from using again. Sometimes the urge to get high is so strong it nearly smothers me.” Color crept up his neck into his face. “But when I’m around you, you make me forget about the pain and anger. You make me want to be good.”

“I’m glad,” she whispered. “I’ll always be here for you. I promise.”

Another silence stretched.

Sebastian picked up his fork and finished eating. Then he leaned back in his chair. “I imagine you’re exhausted. I’m sorry I dragged you all the way here. It was selfish of me. There’s four bedrooms here. They’re all made up. Just pick whichever room you want and get settled in. I’m going outside for a walk.”

He rose, his chair sliding across the tile floor. 

Emily jumped to her feet. “I’m…not tired.”

His gaze darted to hers, searching. “You want to check out the beach with me? No one else should be around at this time of night.”

“That…sounds nice.”

Emily followed him out back. Neither spoke as Sebastian led the way down to the beach. He reached the water’s edge, just barely out of reach of the waves as the water rolled up the sand.

“Have you ever gotten your feet wet?” He turned to her.

Emily stopped beside him, looking out at the dark sea. “No.” The ocean was scary up close like this in the dark, a powerful beast waiting to snare anything within reach and drag it away.

She felt Sebastian’s gaze on her. “Does it scare you?”

Heat rushed into her cheeks. Was he talking about the water, or something else? She turned and met his gaze. “A little.”

“Wanna get wet with me?”

She held his gaze. Her pulse quickened. Holy crap. She was scared of water. Especially unpredictable black ocean water. The thought of huge waves crashing over her terrified her.

Sebastian kicked off his shoes and removed his socks. He unbuttoned his cocktail shirt and tossed it aside. He turned back to her, dressed in nothing but his jeans. The light from his backyard gave off just enough illumination to outline his muscular torso, but it was too dark to make out the details of his lean, sculpted body, though she was well aware of how beautiful he was.

Her heart thundered harder, louder.

He held his hand out to her. “Do you trust me?”

“I…don’t have a swimming suit.”

He smiled. “You don’t need one.” He watched her eyes. “Trust me?”