Scarred (Unlikely Heroes Book 5) (4 page)

“When’s our first appointment?” He leaned over the counter and glanced at Julia’s computer screen.

“Not until 8:30.”

He nodded. “Show Emily how our computer system works. I want her to know how to get into the system, check client records, schedule appointments or whatever, so someone else besides you will be able to handle the office on days when you’re gone. She seems competent enough.”

Julia smiled. “Sure thing.”

Sebastian headed for the front door, twisting the ball cap around and pulling it low so the bill covered his eyes and a good portion of his face. He turned back to Emily. “Someone needs to clean the kennels and walk the dogs. I’ll be back in a half hour.”

He walked out the door, telling Scar to “stay,” before the door closed behind him. Scar whined, staring longingly at the door once Sebastian had gone. Emily understood the dog’s loss. The room seemed empty without Sebastian in it.

Where was Sebastian going?

“He does that all the time.” Julia punched a few keys on the keyboard. “If there’s more than twenty or thirty minutes in between appointments, he leaves and comes back right before the appointment. I’m guessing he goes home, but Sebastian’s a private person and doesn’t talk about himself very much, so I don’t know for sure.”

Maybe he just liked to be alone. Or maybe he was going to check the references on Emily’s rental application. Would he approve her application, or would he find some excuse not to rent to her? She should probably look at other places, just in case.

“Come pull up a chair and I’ll show you our system.” Julia scooted her chair closer to the desk to make room for Emily.

Peter stumbled in the door a few minutes later, looking harried. “I got stuck behind an accident. Sorry I’m late.”

Julia quirked a disapproving brow. “If you make a habit out of being late, you won’t have a job after tomorrow. Sebastian’s not pleased.”

Peter’s face turned bright red. He glanced at Emily, then back at Julia. “I’m sorry. I really did get stuck behind an accident. I promise it won’t happen again.”

His gaze darted back to Emily. “When did you get here?”

Should she answer that? He was her competition. Only one of them would be hired on at the end and she intended she be the one Sebastian chose. If Peter couldn’t figure out when to get to work, that was his own problem.

“Um.” She glanced at Julia. “Before eight-oh-seven.”

Julia’s lips twitched. “You could learn a lot from Emily, Peter. She’s a smart girl. She’s always on time.”

Emily didn’t think Peter’s face could get any redder, but it did. “I’ll be earlier tomorrow,” he promised. “I’ll be here first.”

“Since you’re finally here, the kennels need cleaned and the dogs need walked.” Julia eyed him over the countertop. “I’ve got Emily helping me right now, so would you get started on that?”

* * *

Emily was more astute than Sebastian had expected. She could read him like no one else had before. Did she suspect he’d lied about his facial injuries? She was able to tell when he was acting and when he was being himself, yet she didn’t even know him yet. When she’d gotten too personal, the instinct to protect himself had been so strong he’d automatically gone into protective mode. He’d instantly closed himself off from her. She’d known what he was doing and called him out on it.

If this thing he planned was going to work, he would have to open himself up to her and stop acting. He would have to let her see inside his soul, something that scared the hell out of him. He’d never let anyone inside before. He wasn’t even sure what was inside him anymore and for years had been too afraid to delve deep and find out who he was. What if what he found, what if what
she
found, was too horrible to contemplate? His scars weren’t the visible kind. They went so deep he didn’t know if they could ever be repaired. He was so damaged, so broken inside, he wasn’t even sure if he could be fixed.

What if his experiment sent him straight to hell?

Sebastian wasn’t a religious man. He didn’t believe in God. If there was a God, then why hadn’t He taken care of Sebastian when he’d needed Him most? No one had ever taken care of Sebastian. No one except himself.

Emily was lucky to have a father who watched over her, protected her, like a father should. Sebastian had not been so fortunate.

As he strode across the street to his house, he pulled the rental application out of his shirt pocket. He would call her references and ask them about her prior rental history, not that it would matter. He planned to rent the basement apartment to her regardless. But if she asked, he would have proof he’d called her references. He didn’t want her to get suspicious.

He was her employer. He knew how much she made. She could easily afford the rent. His gut told him she would pay on time, she would be neat and tidy. She would be quiet and not throw loud parties.

Emily was in essence the perfect renter.

But that wasn’t why he’d lured her to Scar Animal Rescue. His reasons were purely selfish. If his plan worked, Emily would heal him, give him the strength to win the war. And he would be free from the darkness that lurked inside, straining to be free, fighting to unleash itself on whomever—or whatever—was near. He had so much anger and pain inside, so much confusion he didn’t know how to control. He was on the verge of losing it. Completely. If Emily couldn’t help him, a mental institution would be where they hauled him off to. It was probably where he belonged.

But he wasn’t ready to give up yet. Wasn’t ready to give in to the darkness so soon. He would fight it off just a little longer to see if his experiment worked.

It had to work.

Or he’d surely spend an eternity in hell.  

* * *

That afternoon Emily met Carol Hunter, a dog behaviorist and rehabilitationist who came in to evaluate two dogs seized in a recent drug bust. Sebastian wanted her and Peter to observe how Carol tested each dog’s behavior to see if the animals would be candidates for rehabilitation. Emily and Peter watched from the doorway while Carol ran each dog through a series of tests. Emily found the process fascinating, each test interesting. When one of the dogs ended up being too aggressive to rehabilitate, her heart sank. Carol set a bowl of food in front of the dog and slid a plastic hand into the dish to gauge the dog’s reaction. The dog snarled and immediately attacked the hand. The other dog wasn’t aggressive, and shied away from the hand rather than attack it.

Sebastian came to stand behind Emily and Peter in the doorway. Emily stepped forward, making more room for him. He remained beside her while Carol finished testing the dogs.

“This one’s a good candidate for rehoming.” Carol patted the light brown Pitbull that had shied away from the plastic hand. “But he’s going to need some rehabilitation to get over his insecurities. He’s a lot like Scar, but we were quite successful with Scar, so I think this guy’s got a good chance. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to rehabilitate the white dog and I would recommend euthanasia for him.”

Sebastian nodded, his jaw tight. His gaze slid to Emily’s, then away. Emily glimpsed the sadness in his eyes, the remorse. Did it pain him that he couldn’t save this dog? Her chest tightened. She sensed a great empathy in him. He cared. He’d tried so hard to save the dog, but the dog was just too damaged. Seeing Sebastian so sad made her eyes fill with unexpected tears.

“I’ll do it,” she whispered, gazing up at him. “I’ll take care of the aggressive one so you don’t have to do it.” 

Something flickered in his eyes before he blinked it away. Surprise? Disbelief? Was he not used to anyone caring about him? Offering help?

“No, I can handle it.” His voice hardened. “It’s not like it’s the first one I’ve ever euthanized.”

Emily’s heart twisted.

No, but each one hurts you. I can tell.

Overwhelmed by the urge to comfort him, she reached over and gently squeezed Sebastian’s hand, not caring if anyone noticed. Sebastian stiffened, his gaze darting to hers. He squeezed her hand back. Just barely. Then he released her, as if touching her upset him, and stepped away. 

Peter noticed, his gaze narrowing in on Emily’s, then darting up to Sebastian’s to gauge his reaction.

Sebastian cleared his throat. “Thanks Carol. I’ll take care of the white dog. Let us know when the other one is ready for rehoming and we’ll add him to the site.”

Carol snapped a leash to the light brown dog’s collar. She shook Sebastian’s hand. “I will. Thank you for all you do for these animals.” She left, taking the brown dog with her.

Sebastian glanced over at the white dog where it whined and pulled at the leash where Carol had secured it to a hook in the wall.

Peter turned to Sebastian. “I just had a great idea.” There was a false brightness in his tone that had Emily on alert. “I’m surprised you’re not doing it already.”

Sebastian quirked a brow. “What’s that?”

“You should make it public that you’re the one who owns Scar Animal Rescue and the website where you list the dogs that need homes. If people knew it was you, they’d flock to the clinic and beg to adopt a dog. It would be great publicity for the business.”

“No.” Sebastian spoke quietly, but there was a hint of steel in his voice. “That would be a disaster. The little bit of privacy I have now would be gone.”

“Come on,” Peter insisted. “It would be cool. You could use your celebrity status as a way to get more exposure for the animal rescue.”

“No.” Sebastian pierced the younger man with his stare. “That would be announcing to all the criminals where their seized animals go, which would bring more danger to you two. Do you want to get beat up by punks? Or kidnapped? I could get outrageous ransom demands for your safe return. Is that what you want? It would be a bad idea. And I like my privacy too much. If people knew where I worked and lived, they’d be camping out on my lawn. I wouldn’t have
any
privacy. Let it go, Peter.”

He marched across the room toward the white Pitbull, his movements stiff. He was angry. Emily didn’t blame him. She cast a glare at Peter.

“Why don’t you show Sebastian some respect? He values his privacy.”

Sebastian’s head jerked toward her, surprise flickering in his eyes. Why was he so surprised that she was defending him? He was a celebrity. Sebastian had to have thousands of friends. People who cared about him.

He was a celebrity.

That
was the problem. As a celebrity, how did he know whose “friendship” was real and whose was fake? Did he think she was being fake? That she wanted something from him? Had he been burned by people who’d only used him for something?

Peter narrowed his gaze at her. “Of course you would agree with him. You’re probably sleeping with him.”

A gasp burst from her lips. “You’re wrong. He’s my boss and I respect him. I would never even–”

“Yeah, right.” Peter let out a snort. “If he gave you the slightest encouragement, you’d be all over him like stink on shit and you know it. Women can’t resist him. None of them can.”

Emily drew in a sharp breath. Was Peter jealous of Sebastian? “Well, I’m not most women. I don’t do that kind of thing. I don’t care who he is.”

Sebastian approached with the dog, his gaze on Emily. Her cheeks heated. Had he overheard their conversation? Of course he had. The room was small and voices carried. Did he think she would jump into bed with him if he offered?

“Emily, why don’t you leave us for a moment? Peter and I have something we need to discuss.”

Emily quickly backed out of the room. She had a feeling Peter was about to be reprimanded, not that she didn’t believe he deserved it. His comments had been out of line.

How would Peter retaliate?

CHAPTER FIVE

Sebastian had been so stunned by Emily’s words to Peter that he’d run them over and over through his head throughout the remainder of the day.

He’s my boss and I respect him. I would never even–

Had she meant that? Did she respect him?

And after Peter had suggested she would hop right into bed with Sebastian:
Well, I’m not most women. I don’t do that kind of thing.

He believed her. He’d already figured out she wasn’t like most women. That was why he’d chosen her. He’d known she wouldn’t jump right into bed with him. He didn’t want her to. This wasn’t about sex. Sex was nothing but a temporary, physical release. This went much deeper than that. If he wanted sex, he could get it for free. He could pick and choose from the swarms of loose women out there who would willingly fuck him. Though his past “relationships” had only been about sex, another notch in his belt, confirmation he was a stud and every woman wanted him, things were different now.
He
was different now. He wasn’t the shallow, arrogant playboy he’d once been.

Emily was not a loose woman. He didn’t get that vibe from her. She was too shy, too sweet. She had morals. Emily was the type of girl a man married, had a family with, and grew old with. She was way out of his league. Way too good for him. That’s why he’d chosen her. Because she was
good
.

He’d never anticipated that she would be the most gorgeous woman he’d ever met, both inside and out. Fuck, he wished she wasn’t so pretty. He’d never been good at resisting temptation. He tried to deny his attraction to her, but it was impossible. Every time she was near, his senses went on alert, making him overly aware of everything about her: her soft breath, her sweet, intoxicating scent, the graceful way she moved, the way her long hair fell softly, seductively over her shoulder, the way she pursed those sexy, pouty lips when she contemplated something, and her dark, watchful eyes that observed him with a cautionary curiosity that made him wish he wasn’t so fucked up inside. He hadn’t missed the way her face filled with color when she caught him staring at her too long. He was well aware of the female population’s reaction to him. Emily was no different. When he’d been younger, he’d soaked it all up, reveling in the attention. The fame. The endless sex. Now, he found it annoying. But he was conducting an experiment with Emily that required he be around her. And oddly, he wasn’t annoyed when she blushed. Rather, it flattered him that he could unsettle her. She didn’t appear star struck—thank God—just very aware of him.

He was supposed to remain aloof around her, but dammit, every time she looked into his eyes, his heart sped up and he forgot why he’d lured her here. He forgot about his experiment and instead he found himself wondering how she would taste, if her lips would be as soft as they looked, how her breasts would feel in his hands, if her hair would be as silky as he imagined, if her long, lean body would fit nicely against his, naked.

She’d bewitched him.

Shit.
He couldn’t let his attraction to her screw up his plan. He had to stop thinking about her like that. He was using her for one thing only.

He needed Emily’s help. He didn’t want a romantic entanglement. What he needed didn’t involve sex or romance. What his plan entailed, and how it could hurt her, was so wrong. Guilt tried to creep in again, but he shoved it back. Emily was the type of girl who deserved romance, something Sebastian didn’t know how to give. He could give her sex—and he had no trouble imagining how good it would be between them—but not romance.

But he wouldn’t. Absolutely not. He would keep his hands to himself. When he’d embarked on this experiment, that was one of the rules he’d come up with: no touching. No sex. It was going to be hard enough carrying out his plan without having to worry about touching her too. But God, how could any man
not
be attracted to her? Emily was perfection in every possible way. But no matter how much he wanted to touch her, he wouldn’t. That would only screw everything up. Fuck, what had he gotten himself into? He had to adhere to the plan.

No touching.

No sex.

She’d squeezed his hand earlier, trying to comfort him. How had she known it hurt him to have to put down another dog? That it pained him that he couldn’t save another one? Each time he had to euthanize a perfectly healthy animal whose only crime was being abused by humans, it ate away at his soul. Because he understood them. He
was
them. Yet no one had euthanized him because of his damaged soul. Maybe they should. If someone put him out of his misery, he wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. If those dogs couldn’t be rehabilitated, maybe he couldn’t either. Maybe he was a lost cause too. Maybe all he was doing was prolonging the inevitable.

“Sebastian?”

He jumped, startled by Emily’s presence, her soft voice bringing him out of his reverie.

He glanced up as she stepped into his office. Sebastian had been at his computer, reviewing a patient’s chart record before his thoughts had intervened. How long had he been daydreaming about his new intern? His face heated.

The last patient of the day had left a half hour ago. He’d told Peter and Emily to clean up the place, then go home. He wasn’t surprised that she hadn’t left yet. Emily was a hard worker. If something needed to be done, she was right there taking care of it. She would be a good choice to run the rescue and the animal hospital once he was gone. He’d already made the decision to keep her on after her internship ended.

“Peter just left. Would you like me to feed the animals that are in the kennels before I go?”

With the two Pitbulls now gone, and Sebastian having released a few others earlier that day, the kennels were now nearly empty. It wouldn’t take but a few minutes to feed and water the remaining animals.

“No, I can handle it. You go on home. Thanks Emily.”

She hesitated. “Um, I was wondering if you had a chance to review my rental application. I need to know if I should look at other places or not.” She lowered her gaze, color creeping into her cheeks.

Sebastian leaned back in his chair, giving her his full attention. “Sorry. I’ve been distracted today. I did review your application and I called your references. It’s a go. You can move in whenever you want. Just let me know and I will prorate the first month’s rent for you.”

She stepped farther into his office, her gaze filling with happiness. “Thank you so much! I brought the first month’s rent with me today, just in case. Can I move in tonight?”

His heart thundered. He wasn’t ready for her to be so close. He needed to prepare himself first. Trying to hide the sudden terror that slithered in, he forced himself into acting mode. “Tonight?”

Her face went pink again. “I’m, um, anxious to get out of my dad’s house, can’t you tell? Besides, the place is furnished, so I only need personal things like clothes, sheets for the bed, towels, food…that type of stuff. I can go grocery shopping tonight. I brought most of the stuff with me today in case you approved my application and let me move in.”

Sebastian felt his lips twitching up into a smile. A genuine smile. One he didn’t have to force. It was difficult to “act” around her when he just wanted to let down his guard and be himself. He liked her. Really, truly liked her. There weren’t many people he genuinely liked. He could count them all on one hand. 

He looked into her eyes. “I suppose that can be arranged. You’ll need to sign a rental contract. It’s a one-year lease subject to renewal at the end of the term. Will that work?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

He rose from the chair. It was time he went home anyway. “Come on. I have a contract at home. You can sign it and I’ll give you a key.”

She stepped aside as he passed her and went out into the main office. Julia was gathering up her purse and getting ready to leave.

“Goodnight Julia. Have a great evening.”

“Goodnight.” Julia waved and went out, locking the front door behind her.

“I can feed the animals while you go get the contract,” Emily offered. “I should be done by the time you get back.”

“Okay.” He called Scar and went out the back door with the dog at his heels.

Emily would be moving in tonight. Living in his basement, right underneath him. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He would have her right where he wanted her. Close by. But he had no idea what he was supposed to do now. Planning this had been easier than executing it.

He was starting to worry his plan wouldn’t work. Playing with another person’s feelings, using them to reach his own goal, was cruel. Maybe a part of the old Sebastian still existed somewhere inside him. The old Sebastian cared about others. The old Sebastian would never hurt anything.

He didn’t want to hurt Emily. But he might have to if he was going to go through with this.

He had to remember he had only one goal: to save his soul before it was too late.

He couldn’t let anyone get in his way. Especially Emily.

Because if his plan didn’t work and he ended up dead—which was a strong possibility—he would need Emily to run the animal rescue.

He took his time returning to the clinic with the rental contract. He left Scar home, crunching on his dinner. Sebastian used the time to gather his thoughts, force himself into the mindset that he was doing the right thing. Saving himself was the right thing. If he wanted to be useful to anyone or anything, then he needed to figure out how to fix himself. Repair the damage. How could he continue to be a vet if his own damaged soul continued to rapidly shrink away, leaving him with nothing but darkness inside? In order to do good, to
be
good, like Emily, then he needed to fix himself. And soon. He needed Emily’s goodness to rub off on him. To help him heal.

True to her word, she had finished feeding and watering all the animals by the time he got back. She signed the contract without reading it and handed him $750 in cash.

“You might want to read the contract first, in case you want to make some changes.”

“I trust you.” She gazed up at him with those big, gorgeous dark eyes. “I know you won’t try to screw me over.”

He jerked his gaze away from the trust in her eyes. If she had any idea what he was up to, she wouldn’t trust him. Not for a second.

He cleared his throat. “I can walk you over if you want. I’m heading home.”

Emily fell into step beside him as they left the building. “Do I have a parking space for my car? I probably shouldn’t leave it parked in front of the animal clinic.”

“You can park on the street out in front of the house. Just bring your car over when you’re ready.”

They reached his house. Emily paused on the lawn and glanced up at him. He handed her the key.

“Thank you, Sebastian. You’ve been kind to me. You gave me a job and a place to live. Thank you for giving me a chance. I promise I won’t disappoint you.”

Don’t thank me. I have ulterior motives.

He jerked his head in a nod and turned away.

Her hand shot out, closing around his forearm. He paused, glancing down at her hand on his arm. His skin burned beneath her fingers. It had been a long time since he’d felt another human touch. Twice today she’d touched him.

She jerked her hand back. Had she felt the “burn” as well? Coldness swept over his skin, into his soul. He felt her loss as strongly as if she’d left him alone in the arctic.

Touch me again. I don’t want to be in the cold any more.

“I could tell it hurt you to have to put that dog down today. If you ever need to talk, I’m a good listener.” She stared up at him, her gaze full of compassion.

His chest tightened. God, how could she read him so well when he couldn’t even read himself anymore? Dizziness swam in his head, his mind swirling with long-suppressed memories.

“No Dad! Please! I can’t do it! He’s just a puppy. He didn’t mean to. Please don’t make me hurt him.”

“Either you punish the little fucker or I will. He shit on the God-damned carpet! Clean it up, boy! He has to be taught a lesson. He has to learn what happens when he disobeys.”

His father bent down and roughly snatched his new puppy up by the scruff of the neck. Sebastian cringed. Spot yelped and squirmed in his father’s grasp.

“Don’t hurt him! I’ll do it. I promise he won’t poop on the floor again. Please, just don’t hurt him!”

His father callously tossed Spot at him and turned away. Sebastian tried to catch the pup, but he wasn’t fast enough. Spot crashed to the floor. The dog yipped and yipped in a high-pitched cry, obviously hurt, and stumbled around in a confused circle, favoring his left front leg.

His father spun back around, fury darkening his gaze. “Shut that thing up! Now!”

Sebastian bent and scooped the frightened, injured pup into his arms and raced out the front door.

“That dog stays outside from now on!” his father shouted after him.

Afraid to leave Spot alone, afraid his father would hurt him, Sebastian huddled in the corner of the porch with the pup all night, trying to comfort the injured animal. Spot cried and cried until finally the dog fell asleep against his chest.

With tears streaming down his face, Sebastian vowed he would protect Spot from his father. He wouldn’t let his father hurt him again.