Scars of the Earth (16 page)

Out there I may be a damsel in distress; but in here, in here, I can be somebody’s knight in shining armor. She thought.

“Did you feel that?” She asked. Cole and Madgie nodded their heads in unison.

“Hate.” Cole whispered.

“Rage.” Said Madgie.

“No, no. Beneath that. There was something else, regret?” She said turning to her companions.

“I’m not getting anything but anger, quite concentrated. It’s making me sick to tell you the truth.” Madgie said through tight lips as she turned her eyes away from the doctor and back to John. Amanda stared at her mentor and then glanced back to Mae’s Father. His hollow eyes were full of despair as he looked at his lifeless daughter.

“Mae?” He whispered. When she didn’t respond he ran to her as quickly as his disjointed body could move. “Mae, baby?” He said as he shook her out of John’s arms. John seemed unable to object, unable to speak at all.

He knelt in the parking lot with Mae’s cold, wet body in his arms. He held her tight as he desperately put his ear to her chest knowing that he wouldn’t hear the tale tell flutter of life. He had seen more than enough dead bodies to know better. But reason and knowledge didn’t stop him from laying her flat on the pavement and starting CPR. The crowd of sad faces was hushed as he worked on her, pumping her stubborn heart, wailing out pleads to God, and crying all the while. After thirty minutes of this a tall man stepped out of the crowd and walked over to him. That’s John’s Father. Amanda thought.

“Bill.” He said. “She is gone.” He put a comforting hand on his friends shoulder.

“No!” Bill cried out. “She can’t be.” He looked up at John’s father with eyes full of sadness. “My baby can’t be.” In a flash his eyes were full of anger. “You did this!” He shouted as he spun to face John. John looked as though his words had slapped him back to the present.

“What?” John asked, his voice still distant.

“You killed my baby.” Bill spat. John’s face filled with sadness, but he didn’t argue. John’s Father put a hand on Bill’s tight shoulder and as he raised his arm Amanda saw a gleam of silver flash from under his coat.

“Bill lets get her inside.” He said simply, trying to diffuse the situation. Bill turned to go along with the officer and before he made his move, she knew why she could feel his regret. She knew what was going to happen. She darted forward ignoring the part of her that was screaming for self preservation.

This is just a memory, I can’t be hurt here. She told herself. REALLY? Just look what happened last time. Self preservation shouted. Oh, shut up! She told herself as she leapt between John and Mae’s Father.

Her feet touch the ground just as Bill grabbed for the sheriff’s gun, kicking him aside. There was a shout from the crowd as he turned and fixed the gun on John, but John didn’t scream. He looked resigned, maybe even happy that his pain would soon be over.

She dropped her invisibility, allowing them to see her. And the rest of the memory faded, leaving just the three of them. Mae’s Father looked bewildered, but John didn’t, he looked as if he had been waiting for her.

“Who are you?” Bill asked. She turned away from John and spoke to Bill.

“Put that gun down Bill, put it down now or you will forever wish that you had.” She said. The words came out of her soothingly, not threateningly. Bill looked taken back, but his grip on the gun didn’t lessen. “This was not John’s fault, he loved your daughter.” She could feel John’s happiness at her words.

“I said, who are you?” He shouted. “And where are we?” He asked, looking around. Nothing could be seen, but the three of them-spot light center stage. Not the hospital, or the parking lot, or any people. “Where is my Mae?” He demanded.

“Mae is not here. She has moved on.” She said. John’s head shot up.

“Moved on where?” He asked in a rush. His boy like features stood out to her even more as he asked the question.

“I don’t really know. You can find out, you can be with her. Just let go of what is holding you here.” She pleaded.

“But, it was all my fault. I don’t deserve to be with her.” John said, looking at his feet.

“Just answer me this John. If God takes back the people that he misses a little early, who do you think that he would have missed the most.” She asked. John closed his eyes and Amanda watched the thoughts and memories of Mae floating behind his eye lids.

“Mae.” He whispered almost inaudibly. The air tasted sweet and Amanda could feel him letting go. Just before he vanished in a burst of light, John smiled in recognition at something that she couldn’t see. A surge of euphoria welled up inside of her chest and a lone tear slid down her cheek. I can see why Healers love this, yearn for it even. She thought. But she didn’t get to enjoy John’s lingering joy for long.

“What the…Where did he go?” Bill asked. He lowered the gun to his side staring at the now empty space that its target had occupied.

“He’s with Mae now. And in answer to your question, I am Amanda. I am here to help you.” She said simply.

“Help me?” He spat. “No one can help me.” He crossed the distance between them in shaky strides. “And if you could, I wouldn’t want your help. Do you know what I did?” He cried his voice increasingly high. “Do you? You may have stopped me right now, but I remember what I did.” He sat down on the ground and put his head in his hands.

“I killed that poor boy. I shot him right between the eyes. Right here in front of his father and my poor dead Mae. I murdered him. I tried to kill myself too, but they took the gun from me before I could.” He looked up at her then with rage pouring from him. “And you want to help me? Listen, I see that you are sincere, but this is where I should be. It is Hell and I belong here.”

“No you don’t. You dedicated your life to medicine, to helping others. This was an awful mistake and if you had a clear head you never would have done it.” She said comfortingly.

“No I would have, I have relived this scene more times than I can account for. I have told myself over and over again not to do it, but every time he brings me Mae…” He let out a ragged breath. “Just leave me, whatever you are, just leave me.” Amanda shook her head.

“I wont, I am not going anywhere.” She said firmly. He turned on her then and let out a shriek that sounded part human, part animal.

“I said LEAVE ME!”

“Sorry there Bill, I have seen things a lot more terrifying than you.” She said poking him in the chest with her forefinger. She could tell from the look on his face that he was shocked and it was the most human that she had seen him yet. “I’m not going anywhere and we are the only ones here, so let’s make conversation. Tell me about your daughter.”

“I will not.” Bill said savagely.

“If you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to. I see all of the things that you have ever seen anyway.” She said. Holding up her hand she projected an image of a dancing girl with ribbons in her hair. Amanda watched it and was amazed; she had never seen a more beautiful child. It played out in front of them like an old film that had collected a little dust over the years. Bill watched in awe as his little daughter danced and laughed.

“Daddy!” She said in a musical voice.

“Take it away! Take it away.” Bill roared. He closed his eyes tightly and when he opened them the projected memory was gone. “Why did you show me that? Why would you, when I can never see her again. Never hear her laughter…” He broke off as he began to sob uncontrollably. She walked over and sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, his body shook underneath her palm.

“You can see her again.” She said comfortingly. “You know that you can. Most spirits don’t know that they are reliving the past over and over, but you did. You are a smart guy Bill. If you thought that this was Hell, than you must believe in Heaven. You aren’t in Hell, just so you know.” He stopped shaking.

“I’m not?” He asked in disbelief. “Surely I have to be, I know that I…” He broke off. “What does it matter where I am? I will never see my daughter, and I don’t want to.” Amanda was speechless for a moment then regained her stride.

“What do you mean? I know your heart and I know your mind. Your daughter is everything to you.” She said.

“Of course she is, and always will be. I just don’t deserve to be where she is, and even if I was pardoned of this crime…I couldn’t face her. Not after what I did, I killed Johnny. She loved him so. She would be so ashamed of me, she would hate me.” He said with sadness in his voice.

“I haven’t ever been to heaven, but I think it is a pretty good bet to say that hate isn’t really the thing up there.” She said reassuringly.

“No. I couldn’t do it.” He said with finality. Amanda held her hand up once more and replayed Mae’s childhood.

“Daddy!” The girl exclaimed.

“If not for you, do it for her. She misses you. I am sure that it has brought her pain to watch you all of these years, never able to comfort her Daddy.” Amanda let her words hang in the air, unsure of what to do if this route failed her. She waited for what seemed like forever before hanging her head.

What now? She asked herself.

Just as she opened her mouth to speak, she tasted the sweetness in the air around her and smiled. She looked up at Bill and couldn’t believe her eyes. He looked nothing like the monster that stumbled out of the hospital, his hair was dark and shining and she saw where Mae had gotten her stunning smile.

“Daddy’s coming baby girl.” Was all he said before he vanished in an explosion of bright lights.

Good for you Bill, good for you. She thought just before the familiar tug pulled her back.

Chapter 14

Nell slowly pushed the door of her room open just a crack. It was hard to see anything in the dark hallway, but after her eyes adjusted she could see that it was empty. She closed the door quietly in disappointment.

What am I doing? She wondered. I don’t even know Armaan. And on top of being a stranger, he is a member of that horrible Guard. She had stayed up all night trying to make a decision. Stay here in the Hovel, full of sadistic strangers. Or, leave with a stranger that could be a good person.

He helped me and he seemed so kind. But his light was so dim he has the same darkness that the other Guard members have hanging around them. So what do I do? She asked herself in exasperation.

She had been running that question over and over in her mind. In the silence of her room the tick-tock of her clock invaded her ears like the drums of an approaching army. She glanced at it quickly.

Three minutes to midnight. She thought. Just three minutes to make up my mind.

She looked at the room that had been her home for four years. It was barren now, all of her possessions in a small bag slumped on the bed. She wondered if she could say goodbye, the Hovel had been like an answer to prayer. Many of the Healers here didn’t have much like for her, because she was different and because she loved Amanda like a sister. When she had first arrived, she was thought to be a prodigy. Not many ten year olds enter Scars on a regular basis, let alone heal them. Everyone wanted to know how she did it, how she healed every Scar that she entered. But soon after her arrival Amanda ran away and she and Amanda had both shared the gift of early leaping. So ‘prodigy’ turned into ‘untrustworthy’.

Two minutes to midnight. The back of her mind told her.

She never let their whispered words bother her. And she never did answer their many questions, though she knew why she was so good. Many of the Scars held spirits that were suffering things that she had already suffered. It was easy to relate and heal when you truly understood what they were going through. She loved being a Healer; it gave her a purpose and allowed her to see that she wasn’t the only person that had a tough life.

One minute to midnight. The drumming of the clock continued. She hurried to her bed and snatched up her bag. As she walked to the door she realized that she had been running through these questions for no reason.

I was always going to leave. With that thought she ducked her head out of the door.

The hallway seemed even darker once she had left the safety of her room. She squinted down the corridor, but saw nothing. Worse than that, she felt nothing. The place was completely deserted.

It’s so strange for the Hovel to feel this empty. Even at midnight there is usually a few people coming and going. She thought.

She could hear the very faint sounds of a place inhabited, quiet foot steps, whispered words, and the heavy breathings of sleep. More familiar than those were the creaking and groaning noises made by the large old factory. Though they may have felt haunting to some people, they didn’t frighten her at all. She had always been comforted by these sounds. After all, they were the noises of home. Realizing that she didn’t know when she would hear the hushed sighing of her old home again, she listened closer. The white noise calmed her nerves; she had been beginning to worry about the time.

It has to be midnight by now. She thought. She strained her ears, trying to hear. All of the noises seemed to be growing more and more quiet. What the heck. She thought as all sound faded away. There was nothing to hear now, nothing but thick silence. She raised a hand to her ear and slapped at it. Nothing.

Am I deaf? She wondered full of fear. She opened her mouth to whisper something, anything to reassure herself that there was nothing wrong.

“Hello.” She said, but she didn’t hear it. She could feel the word leave her lips, but it never reached her ears. She stumbled back to her door frightened, not hearing her footsteps or the loud ‘bang’ that she must have made as she slammed into her door gripping for the handle.

Get back inside! She told herself. Just as her fingers touched the cool metal of the knob, a hand wrapped around her arm. Her scream was automatic and very powerful. She felt a little dizzy by the time all of the air was out of her lungs. But even that, she couldn’t hear. She whipped herself around to face her assailant and wasn’t all that surprised to see the angelic face of Armaan looking at her. Although he looked very surprised by her, his face was full of concern.