Scars of the Future (6 page)

I smiled at Matt before I turned to head in the direction of where I’d parked. Not even five seconds had passed before he fell in step beside me and we walked through the parking lot silently. He stayed with me as I approached my car and I glanced around at the others parked around me.

“Where’s your car?”

He jerked his head in the direction his sister had gone. “Over there.”

I stared at him, confused. “Then why did you come this way?”

He rolled his eyes as he reached a hand up to rub the back of his neck. “So you wouldn’t have to walk alone, Amanda.”

I blinked several times before taking a step forward. One of my hands absentmindedly came up to sit at my stomach and I bit my lip.

“Matt.”

He shook his head. “Don’t say anything, okay? It seems every time I’ve moved past us, we do something that resets all of my progress. I want us to be friends but I need to keep that distinction. I really just didn’t want to let you walk across the parking lot at one in the morning by yourself.”

I snapped my mouth closed. In that moment I had wanted to tell him about the baby, maybe even declare my love for him, but he was right. He was in a good place and he had a girlfriend that made him happy. I gave him a jerky nod and pulled the door to my car open.

“Thank you,” I said quietly as climbed in. “Goodnight.” Shutting the door, I started my car and steered it out of the parking lot. I glanced in the review mirror and saw Matt where I’d left him, just watching me drive away.

Chapter Six

A week later I stood in the doorway to David’s hospital room. He was sitting up in his bed, just watching something on TV while Sydney did something on the laptop in front of her. He looked better than I had imagined in my head, although he was paler than I’d like. He wasn’t wearing the hospital gowns other people were, but instead he had a gray button-up shirt on with the sleeve of his injured arm empty. He was also wearing a pair of sleep shorts and I couldn’t help notice that his bare toenails were painted a light pink color, probably thanks to his daughter. I knocked quietly and both heads snapped up to look at me, a smile hitting both of their faces.

“Hey guys. Is now an okay time? I come bearing clean clothes.” I held up a duffle bag that I’d brought for them.

Sydney shut her laptop with a nod and David switched off the TV before gesturing me in. “Definitely. Come on in.”

I did as he said and gave Sydney a hug before moving to do the same to David. I hugged him as gently as possible, but he wasn’t having it and instead pulled me to him tightly. I fought back the urge to cry as I remembered everything that had gone on this past week, and David must of sensed it because he let me go while shaking his head.

“I’m fine, Amanda. They say that I’m healing nicely.”

I took a step back and nodded at his words as I wiped a single tear that had escaped. “Don’t get shot again, okay?”

David laughed. “You sound like her.” He pointed towards Sydney and I looked back at her with a smile.

She wasn’t as amused as her boyfriend as she met my eyes. “He won’t or else I’ll kill him. Can you stay with him for a minute so I can go talk to my boss?”

David scoffed. “I don’t need a babysitter, Tink.”

Sydney held my gaze as she ignored David, and I nodded as I sat in the chair next to his bed. “I’m gonna hang out for a few. Go.”

Sydney smiled and gave David a long kiss. “I’ll be back.”

He watched her retreating figure before looking back to me. “She’s kind of intimidating when she’s serious. All of my nurses are scared shitless of her.”

I laughed. “She just loves you, is all.”

“Yeah, I love her, too.” David looked at me. “And you, too. Thank you for all you did while we were apart.”

I shrugged. I hadn’t told anyone that David and I had kept in touch by text since that night he found Sydney at the bar. He had wanted to know how Syd was from afar while giving her the space she needed and I was that link. I wasn’t sure if Sydney would be mad or grateful when she found out, so I hadn’t decided on telling her yet.

“Of course. You both mean a lot to me. I’m just really glad you’ve worked it out. Although, that night outside the restaurant I wanted to kill you. After we had talked about how much you wanted to be with Syd and then I saw you with that other woman…” I raised my eyebrows at him. Two weeks before David had been shot, Sydney and I had run into him on a date in the parking lot of a restaurant we’d all gone to. The image of him being with that other woman had hurt Sydney a lot and it had taken all I had to not punch him in the face that evening.

David let out a long sigh. “I know, and like I told you the next day- I didn’t want to go to that. Knowing that Sydney had seen me with someone else made me feel like a piece of shit. No one will ever measure up to Tink, even though she’s super tiny.”

“Good answer.” I leaned forward and ruffled his messy hair.

“Thanks for playing double agent, Am. You’re such a good woman.”

“Why is she such a good woman?” Sydney walked back in and fell into the chair she had been in when I arrived.

“For keeping up with your crazy.” David gave her a mischievous smirk that would have had more of an effect had he not yawned in the middle of it.

Two minutes later I walked out of David’s hospital room with a grin on my face. He had almost seemed back to normal, although I didn’t love that he tired quickly from just our limited conversation. Sydney had looked like she was ready to kick me out when she saw that yawn and so I’d gracefully decided to leave. She was standing guard over her boyfriend and ready to kick the ass of anyone who might threaten his recovery.

She walked with me to the end of the hall and I absolutely loved the look of happiness that sat on her face.

“Call me if you need anything else, but hopefully everything will last you another week or so.”

Sydney nodded gratefully. “Thank you for that. I really needed some clean clothes before I got kicked out for looking like a hobo.”

“Keep me up to date about everything, okay?” I pulled her into my arms and we hugged for a long moment before pulling back.

“Thanks babe. Love you.” Sydney waved as she turned to head back to David’s room, afraid to let him be alone for too long.

I hit the button on the elevator panel and when the doors opened I stepped in quickly. A few other people were standing in the car and I had to do a double take when a familiar face was staring back. His golden brown eyes were sparkling as he grinned at me.

“Amanda.”

I let the corners of my mouth tip up.

“Brandon.”

Brandon Holt and I had dated for a couple of years in college, and it had seemed to go well until I found him in bed with another girl in his dorm room. I had been sad, mainly because we were close, but more than anything I had been irritated that he felt the need to sleep with someone else. I’d forgiven him eventually, and we had remained on friendly terms until he graduated the year before me.

He ran his eyes down my body unhurriedly as we let a few more people onto the elevator. I adjusted the purse on my arm and moved so we were shoulder to shoulder to accommodate the bodies that had joined us.

“How are you?” I asked politely.

“I’m good. My aunt is having a knee replacement today and I was just waiting for her. What are you doing here?”

“Visiting a friend who had surgery recently.”

He nodded in answer and when the elevator let out a chirp, we both walked through the doors to the ground floor.

“Hey, wanna grab some coffee? I have to stay until her surgery is done and I’d love to catch up.” He gave me a lopsided smile that I used to think was cute. Brandon wasn’t a bad looking guy- tall, lean, fantastic hair- but after I’d opened that door to see his naked ass pounding into some random girl, his attraction level had fallen in my eyes.

I hesitated at his request and I knew he caught my trepidation because his face turned from cocky to soft.

“Just to chat, Amanda. I was an ass two years ago but I still consider you a friend.”

I almost declined but when I realized I didn’t have anywhere to be, I nodded. “Okay.”

We walked to the coffee kiosk that sat next to the gift shop and when I ordered my decaf mocha Brandon let out a chuckle.

“Decaf?” He shook his head as I attempted to pay the barista and handed her his card to pay for both. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink decaf. Hell, if they had caffeinated water you would have been all over that.”

I shrugged, taking a seat at one of the little bistro tables that lined the wide hallway.

“I’ve been cutting back. The withdrawals suck.”

Brandon laughed and sat across from me without responding for a moment. When the barista called his name, he stood back up and grabbed both our drinks, placing mine in front of me before sitting back down. I thanked him and took a cautious sip of the hot liquid.

“So, you graduated in May, right?” Brandon pulled the lid off of his drink to let it cool and stared at me.

“Yeah, I start my internship in a few weeks with the county. What have you been doing since you graduated?

“I decided to work with my uncle after all,” Brandon said unenthusiastically. Sydney and Brandon had both majored in business and she had actually been the one to introduce us. He had always had dreams of running his own trading company and getting out of California, but working with his uncle had never been on the table. I must have had a look of disbelief on my face because he laughed. “The business does well and I still have some professional freedom. Plus, my aunt needs me here.”

“That’s good, Brandon. That’s nice of you to stay for her.” I took another drink and we just eyeballed each other for a moment. Brandon’s light brown hair fell onto his forehead, longer than I ever remembered it being. His face was more grown up and less baby-like than it had been just years before. I had known every detail of him intimately for years and I knew I should feel sad, but being near him I didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary.

“Listen.” Brandon shifted so he was sitting up straight. “I was a dick. I know you said a long time ago that you forgive me but I just want to tell you again how sorry I am. You are amazing, Amanda. I was an idiot to let you go. I was an even bigger idiot to hurt you like I did.”

I didn’t respond for a moment as I stared into his golden eyes. I had once thought that Brandon and I had a future, but I was actually glad for what had happened. My life would be dramatically different if we had stayed together, and although it wasn’t perfect, I was happy.

Finally, I nodded. “Thanks. The worst part for me was the betrayal of our friendship. But really- I do forgive you.”

“You don’t think we…” He trailed off and I reached across the table to grab his hand. Squeezing it lightly, I gave him a small shake of my head.

“No, I don’t think so. Friends definitely, though.”

“I can handle friends.” The lopsided grin hit his face again and I couldn’t help but return it. The silence took over for another moment as we sat like that. Suddenly, I felt a presence to the left that I craved and dreaded at the same time.

“Amanda.”

I obviously knew who it was but when I glanced over I was still surprised to see Matt standing near us, a takeout bag from a burger joint clenched in his hand. His face was locked into a hard expression with his lips in a thin line. The same expression he wore whenever he was angry. He looked from me to Brandon and then to where our hands were joined. If anything, his face set in even more.

I squeezed Brandon’s hand one more before releasing it and giving Matt a fake, but peppy, smile.

“Hey Matt.” I gestured at the food in his hand. “Sneaking in contraband to David?”

Matt glanced to his bag and nodded, not attempting to converse.

I pointed towards Brandon. “You guys knew each other, right? Brandon Holt, Matt Thomas. Matt is Maddie’s older brother.”

Brandon nodded and opened his mouth to speak. Before he could, Matt cut him off.

“We knew each other. How’s your eye?” Matt just glared at Brandon, whose face turned red in embarrassment.

I stared at Brandon, confused. “What?”

Brandon shrugged at me before looking at Matt. “Good to see you again, Matt. Last time we talked you were getting ready to head back overseas.” His tone was polite and I knew it was for my sake.

“Wait, what about Brandon’s eye?” I looked between both of them, but neither guy said anything and annoyance ran through my body.

I looked up at Matt expectantly and he finally broke his glare to meet my eyes. We held eye contact for a moment before Brandon’s voice finally responded to my question.

“It’s no big deal, Amanda, and it was a long time ago.”

I kept my eyes on Matt, raising my eyebrows as I waited for him to answer.

“After Maddie told me about you walking in on him at his dorm, Brandon and I had a little chat.”

I didn’t reply, unsatisfied with his answer, and Matt smirked me.

“With our fists.”

I rolled my eyes while shaking my head at him. “Of course you did.”

Brandon let out a sigh. “I deserved it.”

Matt’s eyes cut back to Brandon, his smirk disappearing. “You deserved worse than a black eye for hurting Amanda.”

He looked back at me before closing the distance between us. He bent down, his lips grazing my ear, and his warm breath sent shivers down my spine.

“Don’t take him back, Manda. He didn’t deserve you then and he definitely doesn’t deserve you now.” His voice was a barely there whisper and when he pulled away to straighten up, I instantly missed his close presence. He took two steps backwards before turning and walking towards the elevators without looking back.

I watch his retreating figure until I couldn’t see him anymore, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Wow,” Brandon murmured quietly. I whipped my head back around to look at him.

“What?”

Brandon gave me a forced smile. “He always loved you and the black eye he gave me was definitely the kind of punishment someone would get from the big brother. But right there, that look? That was the look of a man completely in love with you. Judging by the way you just watched him walk away, I’d say he’s not alone in that.”

He stood and pulled something out of his pocket before moving to me. “It was really good to see you, Amanda. I do want to be friends, okay? Take my card and let’s talk soon.”

Brandon dropped a kiss to my cheek before pushing his card into my hand. He smiled softly and walked back the same way Matt had gone.

I just sat at the bistro table, utterly confused by everything that’d happened in the past twenty minutes. Finally, I picked up my coffee and deposited it into the trash before heading out to the parking lot to my car.

---

“When did he get discharged?” My mom asked as she pulled some weeds from the ground with her glove-covered hands.

Gardening had always been one of her things, and I was so happy that the nursing home allowed that to continue. My mom had her own little herb and vegetable garden that she spent hours taking care of each week. She sat on her little gardening stool with her green gloves on, sunflowers adorning the tops of them. I was perched on my own little gardening stool too, but I had no intention of doing any plant work. I did not inherit my mother’s love for gardening at all, but I had always enjoyed sitting next to her while she did it.

“Three days ago, on Thursday,” I replied as I pulled the petals off of a dead flower that my mom had pulled from the ground. “I don’t know if Syd will leave his side long enough for us to go to Oregon next weekend.”

Mom nodded as she picked up her trowel and begun stabbing into the dirt again.

I just watched her, happy that she seemed to be having a good day. I had come by for dinner the night before and she hadn’t known who I was. At least then she had still been open to talking to me, even if she had no idea I was her offspring. I had come Wednesday night as well and she just cried in confusion the entire time.

That had also meant that I left the home bawling my eyes out two evenings this week. I’d put in a call to the neurologist to see if her medication needed to be adjusted or if it was just the Alzheimer’s worsening. Alzheimer’s was a mean bitch.

We chatted about random things, and Mom told me stories about life in the home. Fifteen minutes later she stood up, pulling her gloves off as she smiled at me.

“Let’s go inside and get a drink. It’s warm out here.”

We picked up all of her gardening supplies and stuck them in her room before heading off to the common room. I grabbed us two lemonades and we sat on one of the couches together.

Another lady was sitting in the armchair watching TV and she smiled when she saw us.