Scent of the Heart (7 page)

Casey reached out, tentative at first. What would it be like to touch Sev? Would he be hairy? If he was, would Casey find it weird or gross? Would he be smooth? Could Casey close his eyes and pretend Sev was a woman? He inhaled deeply. Sev wasn’t a woman, and Casey couldn’t ever think he was.

A hot mouth clamped over Casey’s neck, sucking hard. He mewled and clutched Sev’s head, trying for more suction, more friction, more of everything. Sev’s hair amazed Casey. Gossamer wasn’t this soft, this delicate. When Sev’s tongue touched Casey’s lips, he pulled back. It was one thing to kiss him on the lips, but how far was he really willing to go? Ashamed, he said, “I-I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. The fact you’re still here means a lot to me.”

“I kinda have to be here. It’s my house.”

Sev chuckled. “So it is.”

“Listen, I don’t know what’s happening, but I don’t think I can—”

Sev touched a finger to Casey’s lips. “Whatever we decide is enough. You’re my mate, and I don’t have a problem waiting. And it’s not like I have experience in this. I just know that being with you isn’t an option for me. My beast gets stronger each time it scents you, and it’s not easy to tell him no.”

“Oh, yeah! Why did you spray me? Three freaking times.”

“My beast was…
I
was jealous. When I saw you with the Protector and Alpha, I didn’t know who they were. I saw men with my mate and flew into a rage.”

“Why…oh gods, I can’t believe I’m going to ask this question…why didn’t it stink to me? I thought Jake and Zak were going to pass out, but after the second time it started to smell good.”

“You’re my mate,” Sev replied, like that answered everything.

“I don’t know that I understand that logic.”

“A skunk sprays to ward off enemies. I had no wish to drive you away. I wanted you to be closer. My scent is supposed to be pleasurable to you.”

“It was like lying in a field of wildflowers.” Casey laughed. “I think I’ll call you Flower.”

Sev cocked his head. “I don’t understand.”

“We need to bring movies here. You people don’t know what you’re missing,” Casey grumbled.

Locking an arm around Casey’s waist, Sev kissed his shoulder. “I’m missing
you
. Sleep for now. I will hold you.”

Thoughts about pulling away or refusing to sleep in the same bed went out of Casey’s head as quickly as they came in. They weren’t doing anything. He and Jake had slept in the same bed before. Admittedly they had been nine, but the concept was the same. He snuggled in close to Sev and closed his eyes. Sleep came moments later.

***

His mate’s breathing was music to Sev’s ears. The kiss they shared was beyond anything Sev had ever experienced. The fact that Casey trusted him to lead made Sev’s heart sing. He had appeared needy before, but only because he assumed he was broken. With Casey, everything fell into place. Sev still wasn’t comfortable with the fact his mate was male, but as he held the man in his arms, that detail seemed less and less important.

What difference does gender make
?
Does the fact that Casey is a man change the meaning of love? Or does it simply encompass the truth of the word?

Sev found he no longer cared.

When he was growing up, his parents tried to explain the concept of love to him. He thought there was only one kind of love, but he was wrong. He loved his parents and brothers, a familial bond. He loved his friends, a shared bond. The way his heart soared while his stomach plummeted when he thought of Casey went beyond those.

Sev closed his eyes and an entire lifetime with Casey unfolded. They would see his brothers marry their own mates and raise strong children. He and Casey would tend the earth together, tilling the soil, creating gifts of wonder for the enclave. There would be a young boy, lost in the wilderness. Casey and Sev would take him in and adopt him as their own. They would raise him to be a good man, a strong shaman, and upon their death at a ripe old age, he would continue to fill the role.

The dream was lovely. He’d never had such a perfect dream of his life, but now with the shaman at his side, perhaps they could make their fantasies into a reality.

***

A rainstorm heralded the dawn. Winds blew in from the mountains, bringing a sharp chill. The wards around the town could only offset the temperature so much, so beyond them it must have been frigid indeed. Sev wanted nothing more than to lay in bed with Casey and be lazy for the entire day. As lovely as the thought was, Mikhail would be coming over at some point, and though he loved his brother, he didn’t want him to find Sev and the shaman in bed together.

Grudgingly, Sev got to his feet. Even fully dressed and with his natural shifter warmth, the house was chilly. He went to the hearth, wanting to build a fire to warm his beloved, but could find no kindling. As he searched the cabinets, he sensed Casey stir. A moment later, flames flickered in the fireplace, and he turned to find Casey with a smug smile.

“Shaman. Don’t need wood when magic works so much better.”

“I can see that having an advantage.”

“Come back to bed. It’s cold.”

“Shifter. We don’t feel the cold like you do.”

“Touché.”

“Still, I wouldn’t say no to cuddling.”

Sev was surprised when Casey drew back the covers and invited him into the bed. He glanced toward the door, then decided Mikhail could wait. He got beneath the blanket, grateful for the warmth when Casey enveloped him.

“I don’t know what’s happening here between us. I’m afraid, but I need you near me.”

“My mother had told me you love the person, not the body. Who they are on the inside is what you love. Everything else is just dressing. It took me many years, but at last I understand.”

“I admit, I never imagined myself with a man before. Hell, I don’t think I ever once thought of a nude dude before. Well, okay, maybe Connor once when I saw him naked for the first time. The boy packs serious baggage.”

Sev growled, rolled over, and pinned Casey beneath him. “Who is this Connor? I’ve never heard of that name in the enclave.”

“College roommate. Another life ago. Turned out to be a major jerk. Tried to touch Zak in the showers.”

“Did the Protector kill him?”

Casey’s laugh was rich. “No, but I think he wanted to. What is it with you shifters and your caveman attitudes?”

“We don’t share easily. If you had another mate before I found you, I would have accepted them as part of my life. However, once we bond, there will never be another for either of us.”

“And by bond you mean…?”

“Yes, when we exchange our essences, we will be partners in this life and any other.”

“And you’ll always want me?”

It broke Sev’s heart to hear the uncertainty in his mate’s voice. “Oh, yes. Already, I ache for you.”

Sev ground his groin against Casey, whose eyes opened wide. When the returning hardness rubbed against him, Sev smiled.

“Your body knows mine. It feels the pull, even as your mind tries to deny it.”

“Not denying it. I had a dream last night. The two of us deeply in love, growing old together and—”

“Raising a son we found in the forest. I had the same dream.”

Casey didn’t even seem surprised that they’d shared a dream. “I’m not saying I’m ready today. I might not be ready tomorrow, but for what it’s worth, I accept we’re mates.”

“You do?”

Casey’s brow furrowed. “Dude, I see dead people. I make magic charms. I can create fire with a word. But mostly? I’ve learned to believe in my dreams. Who am I to go against what the Fates or gods’ decree? Just…go slow, okay?”

“As slow as you need, my mate.”

***

Molten lead burned in Casey’s belly when Sev smiled down at him. This mate thing was so foreign to him, even though his best friends were a mated pair. Yet the way Sev looked at him made Casey understand what love was. He pulled his wrists loose and wrapped his hands around the back of Sev’s neck. Tentatively, he pulled Sev toward him, wanting to feel their lips together again.

The kiss was electric. Even if what Sev said wasn’t true, Casey would never look at another person the same again. With a chaste kiss, Sev devoured him, ripping out his energy and replacing it with Sev’s own. Casey squeezed his eyes tight and parted his lips. Sev began to draw back, but Casey pulled him in tighter. Sev sighed and relaxed, allowing their tongues to twine together. It was heavenly, and Casey wanted more. He reached under Sev’s shirt and ran his hands over a tight body with a smattering of hair. Tiny nipples peaked as Casey touched them, and Sev groaned.

Sev grabbed the hem of Casey’s sweater and yanked it off his body. Casey shivered, and this time it wasn’t just from the chill in the air. Sev bent down and sucked one of Casey’s nipples into his mouth, forcing Casey to arch his back. With a thumb and forefinger, Sev played with the other bud. Tiny shocks zipped through Casey’s body at each touch, and he moaned into Sev’s mouth.

Casey had lost his virginity to Helen DeWitt at a party two years ago. She was a sweet girl, shy, but with a mouth like a sailor when she had been drinking. They’d both been drunk from some beers that Gary Carson, the host, snuck from his dad’s refrigerator in the garage. They’d been standing in the corner when Helen stuck her tongue down his throat, licking at his tonsils. She leaned over and growled in his ear, “We should fuck.” Casey had been primed and eager, wanting more than anything to finally get laid. She dragged him into Gary’s bedroom and stripped off her clothes.

Casey recalled with incredible clarity how she had helped him get naked. Her fingers trailing over his body, until she came into contact with his dick. She gripped it tightly to pull him over to the bed where she, then, stretched out and opened her legs in invitation. Casey found a condom in Gary’s nightstand that fit a bit snugly, and in one smooth stroke, he entered Helen, who cried out in pain and began sobbing. Casey pulled away and saw the blood. She hadn’t told him that she, too, was a virgin. He pulled her into his arms, murmuring apologies, pleading with her to stop crying.

The memory stayed with him. Helen wouldn’t talk to him afterward. She dressed and fled the house, still wrecked. He’d asked one of their friends about her, but was told in no uncertain terms that she never wanted to see him again. That night had thrown him off thoughts of sex for over a year. His next encounter went much better, and Casey enjoyed it immensely. He wouldn’t say he was skilled or had a magnetic personality, but he never lacked for a one-night stand if he went looking for it.

He’d never been in love before. Everything up until this point had been lust, a hormone-amped affair that equated with getting off and leaving as soon as possible. With the exception of Helen, every girl had understood the rules of the game. He seldom went with the same woman twice, instead playing the field when the mood hit him. When Jake and Zak got together, something in him changed. He saw how happy they were, how devoted Jake was to Zak, and something inside him stirred.

After that, Casey tried to pursue a relationship. He’d gone out a few times while he trained with Hakiim, but the encounters were hollow and never led to sex. As Sev stroked his chest and kissed his neck, Casey pushed all thoughts of others from his head. This man, his mate, held the key to his happiness, or so his dreams told him. When Sev fumbled with his belt, Casey’s hands shot out, clutching Sev’s wrists.

“Please?” Sev asked quietly. “Allow me to continue.”

Casey held still for a moment, then released his grip. Sev smiled and covered Casey’s eyes with a brush of his hand. Casey kept them closed. Sev tugged at his pants, and Casey lifted his hips. The cool breeze washed over him moments before a warm breeze blew across his skin. He could feel the goose flesh breaking out everywhere. A moment of panic crept in when Sev put his hand on Casey’s most intimate parts, but Sev stroked another hand down Casey’s stomach and calmed him.

“I’m going to try something. I’ve never done this before, and I hope you’ll enjoy it.”

Then Sev engulfed Casey, sucking hard on his cock. Casey gasped. “Your teeth. You have to watch your teeth.”

When Sev pulled back, Casey ached at the loss of contact.

“I’m sorry,” Sev whispered. Then went down again. This time it was all warmth and wetness. Sev’s tongue was magical, twisting and wrapping around Casey’s length, drawing moans and pleading from Casey.

“Sev, you gotta stop. I’m gonna—”

He clutched Sev’s head, trying to force him to let go, but Sev ignored him, stroking his cock as he plunged his mouth down onto it. Casey cried out as his orgasm hit, and Sev continued sucking, draining Casey of his very essence. Only when Casey stopped shuddering did Sev release his hold.

“Did I please you?” Sev asked, worry evident in his voice.

Casey nodded and tried to catch a breath. He’d never had an orgasm like that. Never thought it was possible. An orgasm was a thing of beauty. A few moments of pure bliss. What Sev had done was beyond the pale. He’d turned a simple orgasm into a damn near religious experience. When Sev moved to lie down next to him, Casey wrapped his arms around his mate and kissed him hungrily. He pushed Sev onto his back, intent on returning the pleasure, but Sev cupped his face and smiled sadly. “No, that was my gift to you.”

“And I want to return the gift. I don’t know that I’ll be any good at it, but I want to try.”

“I’m grateful, but it isn’t necessary. Perhaps another time?”

Casey lay on top of Sev, kissing him again. “Name the time and place. I have much to learn, and I want us to practice a lot.”

The warmth in his belly told Casey how much he meant those words. Sev had been right. It wasn’t about the body. It was the person inside that mattered. And this person was his mate.

“I love you,” Sev whispered.

Warmth coursed through his body. He’d been searching for someone who would say the words to him, and mean them. He wanted to say it back, but instead, he pulled Sev closer and clung to him.

Morning light brought regret. When Casey woke, Sev wrapped in his arms, his first thought was how content he seemed. Then panic set in at the memory of what they’d done during the night. He extricated himself from the warmth of the body next to him and quickly pulled on his clothes.