Authors: Claire Morris
, North Carolina
An imprint of Sherlock Circus LLC
A Sherlock Circus Book / Published by arrangement with authors
Copyright 2016 by Sherlock Circus LLC
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310 Arlington Avenue, Suite 420, Charlotte, NC, US
NC mass-market edition/2016
Cover Images: by Angela Saunders
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Ever since I was a young girl, I had always fancied the stars. I could feel an invisible force up there who wanted to talk to me, to be with me, to reach out to me, but somehow the world thought I was dreaming. No one took me seriously even when I told that I could actually talk to people there. For the rest of the world, I was just another little nine-year-old girl with dreams too big for my little eyes and a head that became the puzzle for too many scientists and doctors.
“Mrs. Wilson, did you tell her a lot about her dad? This may have impacted her reasoning and belief because she has carved out a belief that someone there in the outer space can reach out to her.”
“Mrs. W, I think you need to get her back to reality. Her perception of fantasy and reality has blurred and for her, there isn’t a lot of difference between the two.”
“You can get her enrolled in our of our psychology programs. She will be our sample for study and we can see how trauma impacts little children.”
I had heard all of these. Mom went to a lot of different doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists and in the end, even asylums. None of them could help me because I was fully functional. I was not living in delusion and I could do all my work.
My grades were the best in class. I exhibited no signs of any disability and yet, I was persistent about my belief that there was someone beyond the stars who spoke to me and cared for me and no, it wasn’t my dad because the stranger was different. He was young and little, just like me.
Life happens and it happened to me too. I lost my mom in a freak accident when I was 18 and I suddenly found myself amidst too many things. I had no clue of the things to do. As my mom had no one apart from me, she left her home to me but with it, she also left her debts to me.
I knew that I needed to make a life if I had to pay off the debts. While offering me a good education and making sure that my college fees were accounted for, she had ended up taking too many debts and this certainly had left her in a soup.
She had really loved me. Despite the mess I was and the kind of complications I came with, she loved me with every fiber of her being and I knew my heart had broken into more pieces than it was made of when she had died.
We never got a chance to tell our goodbye. It was so hard for me to accept it. It was like in one split second, my world came crashing and at the unripe age of 18. I was left preparing for my mom’s funeral.
I knew that I was lucky that I had turned of age or else the dilemma of child care and other hassles may have turned my life into a nightmare. I was fully capable of supporting my own life and I decided to do just that. I couldn’t let my mom’s reputation be spoiled and I realized that it was time for me to take a hold of my life, get a good job and pay off all the debts before starting my own life.
That was three turning phase in my life and it was then that I left my dream of being a stargazer. I realized that mom had spent a lot of time fort and money as she wanted to make something out of me, but my dream of proving that my visions were real and not whimsical had made me go astray.
I grew up at 18 and became a different person. It was like I could separate my life into two separate phases – pre-mom and post-mom. I became methodical and devoted my life to work. I worked hard, got a degree and decided to get a job.
I was working as a librarian in my part time hours while I had the job of an accountant during the daytime. I hated numbers, I despised them but it is the one thing that paid. I soon climbed the charts and I became one of the head accountants at GS Associates, the leading firm in the start of Los Angeles. I had a good salary which helped me make considerable amount of savings.
I had a plan of paying off my debts and since I would be free to live my own life, I wanted to research about the life in outer space. The child in me knew that all I had experienced as a child was reality. Regardless of what the doctors and the psychiatrist told, I knew I was not under hallucination.
My dad was one of the greatest researchers in his times. He had served his part at NASA, but he was ousted from office when it was found that he has tried to establish a link with the outer space even though it wasn’t defined in the research.
There was some huge amount of data which was downloaded from his machine and it was set to an unknown signal. This was considered as one of the biggest security breach and an organization like NASA could never let it go.
Dad had tried to explain a lot of times that he didn’t send the data. He had just received an incoming wave from outer space and as he tried to establish contact because it could have been the biggest scientific breakthrough, he found that there was a massive data loss.
Ever since he had lost his job, he started working in his own room in our house and that was kind of the last time when I interacted with dad. I was just four years old that time, but my dad stopped playing with me.
I was no longer the daughter he couldn’t stop talking about and he spent all his time on his own machine. He became secluded and even though he was alive and with us, our family started feeling dead. Back then, I was too little to understand. Mom always told me, daddy is busy and I grew up with the notion that daddy was always busy.
I still remember how we lost him. It was one of those Friday evenings where I and mom used to bake. Mom made the best doughnut ever and I always devoured them like a lioness. She had decided to bake a few cupcakes too for me and was teaching me how to do it when we saw dad leaving the home.
“Hey, Alan, where are you headed?” mom said as this was after a really long time that dad was leaving his place.
He said nothing and simply closed the door and went out. Mom had tried repeatedly to go into his room a lot of times before and had used every possible method by which she could make him speak, but, it felt like he just didn’t recognize any of us.
That was the last time we saw dad. He never returned and we never knew what happened to him. Mom had been inconsolable for a few days. We filed a report with the local police and it was after a painful fortnight that they told us that his clothing with all his belonging was spotted at the edge of a lake. The final report was that he had drowned himself, but we both knew that dad wouldn’t commit suicide.
He was walking on one of his projects and when we came back to his room, I was fascinated by all those machines.
I was just nine and yet those machines truly fascinated me. I was excited to see them and I still hadn’t fully registered the fact that dad was gone.
Mom too felt like someone took away a huge part of her. She still tried her best and she wanted to give me the best of the world. I saw her working hard. She started picking more jobs and I knew that she was going through a hard phase, but in the end, I remained oblivious to everything. I wanted to just be lost in the beautiful world of stars and planets and galaxies.
Mom was scared that I too would be trapped in the other world and would never be able to be myself again. This is why she often got paranoid and tried too hard to excavate me out of the mess. At that time, I didn’t realize what the big fuss was and I couldn’t understand why mom was so paranoid.
But, as I grew up and lost mom, I could feel the void eat into my heart. I knew that I missed something huge and no matter, how hard I tried, things didn’t feel alright.
Not only did I lose my mom, but I also lost a huge part of my existence. I could feel the loss in my very own bones. Every night when I headed to bed I used to stare at the ceiling and I could feel the stars.
The voice from outer space had begun to ebb away and I wanted nothing more than to hear those little voices. I wanted to feel the presence of that alien in and around me because it often made me smile. There was a strange comfort in that surreal presence. It was like the envelope of love that kept me warm and as I stopped using dad’s machine and stopped interacting with the outer space. The presence of the strange silhouette from the outer world began to disappear and fade away.
I am 25 and I don’t really know what I feel about me. Yes, my life has been way better than what it could have been. I could have gone wayward and I may have lost my track in life, but I finally had some comfort now.
I had paid off my mom’s debt and I quit my job as an accountant. My firm agreed to give me a huge hike in order to make an effort to retain me, but I had made my mind and I had absolutely no interest whatsoever in living this kind of mechanical life.
I knew I had a larger porpoise in life and now that I was a lot more confident and independent, I wanted to be sure that I could live my wings and give shape to my dreams.
My hands were jittery but I knew that I had to do it. I opened the lock on my dad’s room. I had locked it when mom had passed away because it had started to become one of my vices. I knew it was one thing which had made my mom tensed and I wanted more than ever to lock it away.
But, the day I had turned 25, I had felt the same presence near me. It had taken me back to my childhood days and the pull I experienced was so strong that I couldn't tolerate being away from it.
I woke up feeling both happy and sad and I was torn. I was indecisive as I didn’t know what to do or what to say.
I tried closing my eyes and I wanted to be lost in the moment, but in the end, I felt like I was a little child again and the stars kept calling out to me. I knew I should keep it away and for the sake of my mom, I needed to push all those memories of the old days away, but I was helpless.
It was as if there was a larger force which was governing me and no matter how strong I was, the force was stronger than me.
I finally gave in to the temptation and I knew that my life would not be the same again. I had locked my dream and desire for so long, but now was the time to explore what remained.
I had spent some time trying to get back in the groove. I sat on dad’s machine and triggered some command. I never had any kind of background in science and outer space, but somehow every time I sat on the machine, I could feel like there was someone who was regulating me.
I didn’t need any kind of knowledge but I could punch the right buttons and my soul felt a sense of liberation and ease. I had no clue of what I was doing, but I had a gut feeling that I was in the right way. I knew that this was my destiny. This is what I was meant to do and I allowed myself to be controlled by that moment. I had no freaking clue of how long I was on the machine or what it did there, but I felt myself traveling away, into a different place, a different land, a different area.
It was one of the most breathtaking views of all time. I had never in my life seen a more majestic color of the sea. The sea had a magenta touch it and the sun was glowing like it was on fire and yet had a reddish tinge to it. I knew that this was either a dream or I was hallucinating.
I had never been to a place like this and I wanted to just be there and stay there for the rest of the time. However, I needed some kind of a grip. It was hard for me to stay there when I couldn’t even differentiate between reality and imagination.
“Welcome, Claire,” I heard a sexy voice and I knew that it was the same voice which I was used to hearing since the time I was a little child.
I turned back and the face of the familiar stranger looked at me. He had the most beautiful seductive green eyes and his lips were luscious red, almost like ripe strawberries. I had never been so fiercely attracted to anyone ever before, but this was surely one of the best sights I had ever seen.
I had met my fair share of hot men in my life. I had dated one of the sexiest guys but our relationship ended briefly because we both drifted apart. We both realized that it was merely lust that had the two of us together and we left without any kind of hard feelings.
However, looking in the eyes of this handsome stranger, I knew that this was surely one of those moments which would be etched in my heart forever.
“Who are you? Why do you look so familiar to me?” I asked even though there was a part of me that already knew the answers. I knew where this was leading into, but I was still intrigued and wanted to know so much more.
“I am Xavier. This is Xenast. I hope you have not forgotten me," he said and winked.
It was really hard for me to decide as to what it meant and how it felt. There was a part of me that was really glad as I knew that I was attracted to him, anyone in their senses would be. He was everything you could ask for in a guy.
Not only did he look holy smoking hot but at the same time, his voice was so sexy that it did things to my mind. I knew that I felt powerless when it came to him but somehow I just wanted him to speak and I wanted to dissolve in that moment.
"Are you even listening to me?" He asked and broke my reverie.
"Is all of this real or is it my mind dreaming?" I asked even though I had no clue whether or not I should trust the guy.
"This is real. You are not on earth anymore, we brought you here. You are here to stay now."
For a moment, I couldn't believe what I had heard, was this ever possible? I mean there are scientists and researchers trying round the clock to visit outer space and find out more about it and how come, I who was just a simple accountant could end up in space!
I gave a mirthless laugh and told, "I probably had one drink too many which is why I am seeing such a handsome hottie as you in such a place which definitely doesn't exists. Goodness, I wonder how high I am!" I said and tried to pinch myself so as to wake me up from my dream. On a second thought, it felt good to be in this dream. At least something was right, so why should I bother to break my own dream!
"I think it is a bad idea to try and wake me up. God knows when I am ever going to find someone as hot and sexy as you. Why don't you let me kiss you so that at least my dreams are hot enough for me to have a spicy life? Or else everything is just so boring in my life!" I said to Xavier and tried to hold his angelic face in my hands so that I could kiss him.
He smiled and held my hands, "Are you sure that you want to do this? I shall ask just once!"
I winked and smiled and I wondered what kind of drug I had that made me see such a hot guy who was so decent as well. Definitely had to be one of those dreams wherein we wake up and laugh at our own self!
I pushed away his hands and then pulled him closer to taste the touch of his lips on mine. True to God, not all the kisses I ever had could live up to the kind of feeling I felt as our lips pressed against each other.
Even in my wildest of dreams I had never been kissed like that. It was an altogether new feeling and yet it somehow felt so perfect. I could feel like I was waiting for that kiss since eternity.
"Why does it feel like I have known you for so long? What makes you so familiar to me when you are nothing but a stranger?" I asked as I was unable to contain the restlessness inside me. I needed answers and the only person who could help me was the stranger who I wanted to kiss till I could die.
"This is not a dream, Claire. This is happening with you. Also, I am not a stranger, not anymore. I want you to know that we have met, felt each other’s presence all through our life and there is something which will always bind us. You were destined to come here. It is a part of your fate as mine and your stars had collided a long time back and I promise to help you out because I owe that to you."
I looked at him and I couldn't understand a word of what he said. This was going to be a really long story and I knew I needed to know a lot of details. Maybe, there was a part of my secret life that I didn't know myself. I couldn't wait to see how this phase of my life would unfold but more than that I couldn't wait to see how it would feel to know this hot stranger and to touch him and be touched in return.