Scorn (28 page)

 

Acknowledgements

Nothing in this book is new. To my helpers, Alex Dudok de Wit and George Morris, has fallen the task of gathering the mountain from which I have assembled this personal molehill of an anthology. They have worked hard for many months, and I am grateful. I have relied not only on their industry, but their judgement. Cecily Gayford, at Profile Books, has been a wise and helpful editor.

My thanks to those hundreds of friends and long-shot acquaintances whom we contacted for suggestions, many of which have found their way into the book; to my peerless agent Ed Victor; a special word of thanks to Andrew Franklin, my proactive and creative editor for the first, Penguin, edition of this book, and now my publisher. Thanks also to Dr Richard Parkinson at the British Museum and to the editors of dozens of dictionaries, anthologies and works of reference in this field, on whose research we have drawn. These are too numerous to list in full, but the following have been particularly useful:

An Anthology of Invective and Abuse
, ed. Hugh Kingsmill (London, 1930);
A Dictionary of Contemporary Quotations
, ed. Jonathan Green (London, 1982);
A Dictionary of International Slurs
, ed. A. A. Roback (Wisconsin, 1979);
A Dictionary of Sexist Quotations
, ed. Selma James (Hemel Hempstead, 1984);
The Garden of Priapus: Sexuality and Aggression in Roman Humour
by Amy Richlin (London, 1983);
The Guinness Dictionary of Poisonous Quotes
, ed. Colin Jarman (London, 1991);
Lexicon of Musical Invective
by Nicholas Slonimsky (Washington, DC, 1965);
Maledicta: The International Journal of Verbal Aggression
, ed. Rheinhold Aman (1977–86);
Picking on Men
by Judy Allen (London, 1985);
Shakespeare's Insults
, ed. Wayne Hill and Cynthia J. Ottchen (Cambridge, 1992);
Far Too Noisy, My Dear Mozart
, ed. Jennifer Higgie (Michael O'Mara Books, 1997).

Acknowledgement is also due to HarperCollins Publishers Limited and Germaine Greer for
The Female Eunuch
; to William Heinemann Limited for
Cakes and Ale
by W. Somerset Maugham; to Guy Lee for
The Poems of Catullus
(OUP, 1990) by permission of Oxford University Press; to The Society of Authors on behalf of the Bernard Shaw Estate; to John Murray (Publishers) Limited for
Slough
by John Betjeman; to Laurence Pollinger Limited and the Estate of Frieda Lawrence Ravagli for
How Beastly the Bourgeois Is
by D. H. Lawrence; to David Higham Associates and Osbert Sitwell for
A Certain Statesman
; and to Faber and Faber Limited for the following extracts: Philip Larkin's ‘This be the Verse' from
High Windows
; and John Osborne's
Look Back in Anger
, and to Matthew d'Ancona, former editor of
The Spectator
, for permission to quote from the
magazine's attack on Liverpool. For almost twenty years,
The Week
, has offered readers a discerning pick of pithy verbal insolence, and I have plundered this resource shamelessly.

The illustrations on
pages 390
and
90
are reprinted courtesy of the British Museum Department of Egyptian Antiquities and the British Library respectively.

Every effort has been made to trace copyright holders. The author and publishers apologise for any errors or omissions, and would be grateful to be notified of any corrections that should appear in any reprint.

Finally I must acknowledge the intelligent energy of my assistant editor, Robbie Smith, in bringing this new edition to completion.

Matthew Parris, August 2016

 

Index

#CurseDavidCameron
398

#Gove2016
413

@AlexWattsEsq
414

@boycotthumans
39

@Brummiecris
414

@InvaderXan
414

@MJ_Boh_
414

@Mr_Dave_Haslam
413

@PULPKetchup
413

@Pundamentalism
369

@RogerQuimbly
100

Abbey, Edward
326

Abbott, Tony
183
,
184

Acheson, Dean
106

Adams, Clover
234

Adams, Henry
106

Adams, Joey
309

Adams, John Quincy
192

Addison, Joseph
258
,
353
,
354

Adenauer, Konrad
19

Adonis, Andrew, Lord
171

Aesop
207

Agee, James
301

Agnelli, Giovanni
320

Agnew, Spiro T.
87

Aitken, Jonathan
160

Alcieri, Tom
108

Alcott, Louisa May
355

Ali, Muhammad
328
,
330

Allen, Fred
109
,
220
,
255
,
278

Allen, Woody
9
,
11
,
24
,
39
,
113
,
309
,
340
,
343
,
380

Ambler, Eric
110

Ambrose, Stephen
356

Amery, Leo
134

Amis, Kingsley
119
,
356
,
383

Amis, Martin
282
,
388

Anderson, Bruce
165
,
168
,
170

Anderson, Clive
164

Andrews, Julie
291

Angelou, Maya
387

Anger, Jane
353
,
369

Anne, Princess
99

Appleby, Humphrey, Sir
111

Arabin, William
40
,
75

Archer, William
307

Arendt, Hannah
118

Aristophanes
104

Aristotle
348

Armstrong, William
112

Arnold, Matthew
73
,
87
,
91
,
233

Asquith, Cyril
271

Asquith, Herbert
133
,
211

Asquith, Margot
133
,
138
,
210
,
292
,
373

Astor, Nancy
32
,
104
,
355
,
379

Atkinson, Brooks
292

Atkinson, Rowan
33

Attlee, Clement
117
,
178

Atwood, Margaret
240
,
386

Auden, W.H.
208
,
264

Austen, Jane
15
,
73
,
236
,
376

Bacon, Francis
271

Baddiel, David
406

Baedeker
77

Bagehot, Walter
47
,
93
,
94
,
128
,
227

Bailey, Bill
167

Balabin, Victor de
250

Baldwin, Stanley
96
,
132
,
134
,
221

Balfour, Arthur James
116
,
136
,
222

Balzac, Honoré de
249

Bankhead, Tallulah
291
,
301
,
303
,
357

Banks, Tony
164

Baraka, Imamu Amiri
79

Barber, Lynn
339

Baring, Maurice
319

Barkley, Charles
327

Baroja, Pío
109

Barr, Roseanne
370

Barry, Dave
22
,
329
,
330

Barrymore, John
300

Baudelaire, Charles
351
,
363

Bauer, Peter
319

Bax, Arnold
274
,
278

Bayley, Stephen
267

Beard, Charles
64

Beaton, Cecil
294

Beckman, Martha
330

Beecham, Thomas
276
,
277
,
296

Beecher, Henry Ward
19

Beerbohm, Max
167
,
261
,
307
,
354
,
416

Beethoven, Ludwig van
273
,
274

Behan, Brendan
56
,
231

Bell, Alan
264

Benedict XVI, Pope
38

Benjamin, Judah
83

Benn, Hilary
131

Benn, Tony
169

Bennett, Alan
253
,
284

Bennett, James Gordon
253
,
284

Bentley, Eric
317

Beresford, Charles
95

Berlin, Irving
114

Berlioz, Hector
275

Berlusconi, Silvio
204

Bermant, Chaim
83

Bernard Shaw, George
14
,
34
,
44
,
56
,
88
,
95
,
115
,
211
,
220
,
228
,
275
,
278
,
90
,
292
,
305
,
306
,
363
,
374

Bernstein, Al
319

Betjeman, John
71

Betts, Hannah
73

Bevan, Aneurin
105
,
117
,
119
,
135
,
138
,
139
,
140
,
175

Bickerstaffe, Rodney
169

Bierce, Ambrose
207

Biffen, John
174

Bigot de Cornuel, Anne-Marie
370

Birch, Nigel
139

Bird, John
33

Birkenhead, Frederick, Lord
110

Birkett, Norman
315

Bismarck, Otto von
51

Black, Conrad
183

Blackwell, Simon
21

Blair, Cherie
173
,
217

Blair, Tony
56
,
164
,
172

Blunt, James
284

Bogart, Humphrey
346

Bonaparte, Napoléon
48
,
49
,
50
,
212
,
349

Boren, James H.
112

Borge, Victor
382

Borges, Jorge Luis
17
,
211
,
335

Boswell, James
348

Botton, Alain de
231

Bowen, Elizabeth
245

Boy George
284
,
340

Bradshaw, Peter
301

Brahms, Johannes
275

Brand, Jo
371

Brando, Marlon
294

Brandreth, Gyles
294

Brann, William Cowper
186

Branson, Richard
320

Brecht, Bertolt
268

Bremner, Rory
168

Breslin, Jimmy
219

Broderick, Helen
353

Brogan, Colm
136

Brogan, Jimmy
71

Brooker, Charlie
411

Brooks, Mel
17

Brooks, Rebekah
217

Brougham, Henry, Lord
316

Brown, Craig
344

Brown, Dan
230

Brown, Gordon
104
,
172

Brown, Rita Mae
361

Browne, Coral
289

Bruce, Lenny
30

Brummell, George ‘Beau'
95

Bruno, Frank
328

Bryson, Bill
54

Buckley, William F.
281

Bulmer-Thomas, Ivor
74

Burchill, Julie
16
,
349
,
380

Burgess, Anthony
76
,
283

Burke, Edmund
91
,
125

Burns, George
105
,
382

Burns, Robert
232

Burroughs, John
405

Burton, Richard
289

Bush, Barbara
21

Bush, George W.
107
,
197

Bushell, John
61

Butler, Joseph, Bishop
35

Butler, Samuel
19
,
41
,
370
,
373

Butz, Earl
80

Byron, George Gordon, Lord
13
,
126
,
127
,
257
,
260
,
261
,
375

Caan, James
374

Cable, Vince
172

Caesar, Julius
44

Caine, Michael
294

Caligula
107

Calwell, Arthur
120

Câmara, Hélder
120

Cameron, David
165
,
166
,
172
,
176

Campbell, Alastair
165
,
174
,
175
,
232
,
410

Campbell, Montgomery
35
,
36

Camus, Albert
10
,
13
,
217

Capone, Al
65

Capote, Truman
8
,
254

Carlin, George
10

Carlyle, Thomas
10

Caron de Beaumarchais, Pierre-Augustin
12

Carr, Simon
312

Carrington, Peter, Lord
159

Carter, Lillian
196

Cartland, Barbara
84
,
170

Caruso, Enrico
276

Cary, Joyce
358

Catherine the Great
117

Catullus
391

Cecil, Jonathan
15

Chadwick, Henry
35

Chagall, Marc
266

Chamfort, Nicolas
362

Chancellor, Alexander
110

Chandler, Raymond
228
,
247

Chanel, Coco
338

Channon, Henry
241

Charles II, King
94

Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor
33
,
57

Charles, Lord Darling
321

Charles, Prince of Wales
270

Chekhov, Anton
309
,
380

Chesterfield, Philip Dormer Stanhope, Lord
21
,
257

Chesterton, G.K.
12
,
43
,
53
,
216
,
255
,
307
,
360

Chetwode, Hester, Lady
88

Chirac, Jacques
50

Cho, Margaret
117
,
198

Christie, Bridget
179

Churchill, Randolph, Lord
127

Churchill, Winston
51
,
67
,
107
,
132
,
135
,
136
,
137
,
138
,
139
,
179
,
210
,
214
,
223
,
270
,
292

Cicero, Marcus Tullius
10
,
44
,
227

Cioran, Emil
19

Clare, Jason
183

Clark, Alan
367

Clarke, Arthur C.
222

Clarke, Charles
170

Clarke, John Cooper
91
,
286

Clarke, Ken
412

Clarkson, Jeremy
57
,
341

Cleaver, Eldridge
367

Cleese, John
379
,
406

Clemenceau, Georges
51
,
116

Clinton, Bill
197

Clinton, Hillary Rodham
199

Clooney, George
295
,
338

Close, Chuck
271

Clough, Brian
332

Coates, Ta-Nehisi
193
,
199

Cobbett, William
37
,
229

Cohen, Nick
114

Colby, Frank More
101

Coleridge, Samuel Taylor
49
,
93
,
248

Coles, Richard
387

Collins, Philip
412

Compton-Burnett, I
383

Conkling, Roscoe
70

Connolly, Cyril
13
,
216
,
228
,
231
,
237
,
369

Connor, William
368

Conrad, Joseph
16

Constable, John
260

Cook, Peter
8
,
298
,
299

Cooke, Alistair
53
,
96

Cooper, Jilly
84
,
312

Cooper, Tommy
345

Copland, Aaron
276

Cordes, Paul
29

Coren, Alan
35
,
50
,
62
,
67

Coren, Giles
87
,
241

Coslet, Bruce
327

Coward, Noël
76
,
77
,
137
,
239
,
254
,
296
,
300
,
303

Cowper Powys, John
383

Cox, Kenyon
271

Cripps, Stafford, Sir
135

Crisp, Quentin
368
,
386

Critchley, Julian
128
,
161

Cromwell, Oliver
103
,
122