Screw Loose (23 page)

Most of the kids had already left, so this meeting wasn't going to be too public, although a coachload of Japanese tourists had just pulled up.

After a week of anxious anticipation, Josh had come round to imagining that Heath was everything he was looking for in a boyfriend. He liked his eyes, his hair, his voice, his forgiving attitude. He was already used to the idea of the bionic ear – it made Heath a kind of cool cyborg.
Heath
was a great name, too. And the guy could cartwheel.

A teacher cruised by in her blue Volkswagen Golf and waved. Since Dunny had outed him, the staff had been heaps friendlier. In fact, in the absence of Georgia, he had become the unofficial school spokesperson for all things gay.

A few weeks ago, Joshua's parents had held a dinner party. His father's voice had boomed through the house for hours, interrupted by detonations of laughter. Late in the evening, Josh had abandoned his Accounting homework and crept to the top of the stairs. The smell of brewing coffee had drifted up to the landing as he listened to their conversation.

‘The dog's gay – very passionate about the neighbour's whippet,' he heard a lawyer friend of the family, a local resident, say. Joshua knew both the dogs he was referring to: Ralph and Jock. They often played together in the park. He hadn't realised they were gay at all. He'd been more supportive of them after that – throwing sticks to them and watching for any sign of inappropriate play. Now here he was, about to become a father to a gay guinea pig.

‘It's just part of the natural world,' his father had interjected that night. ‘And what the research apparently shows is that there are lesbian seagulls! I'm serious!' he'd yelled while Joshua's mother tried to quieten him. ‘The evidence is overwhelming: monkeys, poultry, fruit flies, dolphins – everything. It's not an issue, it's a natural aspect of life.' That had given Joshua some comfort. He had listened until the conversation segued to parking fines.

The YouTube posting currently causing such a furore at Cockatoos headquarters. Is injury-prone Angelo Tarano our first openly gay Aflplayer?

He had to face up to his nature – everyone else already had.
You're gay, get used to it
, he kept telling himself. He hadn't chosen to be gay; he just was. Did straight boys
choose
to be straight? No. They just found out at twelve that they liked the opposite sex. More than liked. So here he was, waiting for Heath, and he was nervous but things could certainly be a lot worse.

A bus pulled up further down the road, and Heath jumped off. Josh waved. Heath looked different – he was wearing his
Bored of being bored
T-shirt again, but he was missing the jewellery and the nail polish.

‘Hi,' Josh said as Heath reached him. There was a bag over Heath's shoulder.

‘How come there are all Japanese tourists outside your school?' Heath asked immediately.

Josh waited for the kiss. ‘Matilda Grey. They wait for her.'

‘Matilda Grey, that crazy dog girl?
She
comes here? Is she for real?'

‘I think so. They think so in Japan, anyway.'

‘Matilda Grey and Angelo Tarano. Your school is like Beverly Hills High.'

Josh smiled.

Heath reached into his bag. ‘This is Alf.' He pulled out a guinea pig. It was wrapped in a face washer. ‘Feed him grass, and you can buy guinea pig pellets. They eat their own shit. Don't get him cold. Alf likes to wriggle.'

Josh took Alf in both hands. ‘Thanks. He's really nice.'

‘You can kiss him. He's gay.'

Well, no kiss from Heath, but this was something. Josh sniffed Alf first. He didn't have a strong smell, thank heavens.

He kissed the guinea pig on the top of its head. Some of the Japanese tourists took photos.

‘Was the bus okay?' Josh asked, wrapping Alf up again and wondering where to put him. He had a plastic bag, but Heath might freak out if he popped Alf in a plastic bag and plonked him on top of his Maths folder in his school bag.

‘Cool. Long way.' Heath looked around. ‘So, what will we do?'

‘We could…' Joshua heard footsteps and puffing. He turned around, and there was Chelsea Dean puffing up beside them.

‘Hi,' she said to Heath. ‘My name's Chelsea.'

‘My name's Heath.'

‘Heath,' said Chelsea. ‘Pleased to meet you.' She held out a hand, which Heath shook, then she turned to Alf. ‘Is the rodent yours?'

‘He's Joshua's now. It's a guinea pig,' Heath said.

‘How lovely, Josh. A companion. Did you bring him for Josh, Heath?'

Heath nodded.

‘Is your real name Heathcliff?'

‘No, Heath.'

‘Your parents probably meant Heathcliff, as in
Wuthering
Heights
.'

Heath shrugged. ‘I don't know about that.'

‘I've read the book and seen the film. Heathcliff was this gorgeous sort of gypsy who was obsessed with a girl called Cathy, and they lived in this godforsaken swamp. We did it in Year 10 at Mary M. It's actually about obsession. I've told Zeynep to read it. Zeynep is Josh's ex. She's obsessive. Do you have a girlfriend?' Heath looked at Joshua.

Joshua jumped in. ‘Chelsea, you're talking about too many things at once. Slow down. He doesn't have a girlfriend; he's gay like I am.'

‘Gay?
Très chic
. So maybe I'm intruding on a little gay rendezvous or something,
n'est pas
?' She smiled brightly.

Heath looked at Joshua again for direction. Joshua wasn't clear whether Heath couldn't hear her properly or couldn't figure out whether she was insane. The French didn't help.

Chelsea just kept going. ‘Heathcliff was tall and dark, with smouldering eyes. A little like you!' She smiled at Heath. ‘But he certainly wasn't gay!' She laughed in her rather high-pitched, musical way. ‘And where did you two meet, if I may be so bold as to enquire?'

Josh thought he'd better take over. ‘We met on the internet.'

‘MySpace?'

‘Gaywayz.'

‘I should really make more of an effort to use the net and find the right person,' she said. ‘But I've got so little time.' She turned to Heath. ‘I'm trying to improve this school. What school do you go to?'

‘Judith Durham Secondary College.'

‘Judith Durham? She was, like, an ancient Seeker. My dad used to sing
Puff the Magic Dragon
to me! How ghastly.' She turned to Joshua. ‘Josh, I meant to tell you, I've put you down for organising the formal tickets. I've got the design and the wording done, and you can arrange the printing and the sales. Any problems with that?'

‘Will that be a lot of work?'

‘It's a very small part in the overall game plan. I can't do it all myself, Josh. Perhaps Heath will help you.'

Joshua looked at Heath. ‘Can he come?' he asked.

Chelsea thought for a moment. ‘Well, we can't have riffraff. Only students from the three schools. But if Heath is on the door collecting the tickets, he might be able to stay for a little while. We'll call him staff.' She looked at Heath. ‘But you'd have to take responsibility for him, Josh.'

Heath's eyes showed confusion. ‘I missed that. I'm deaf. Got an implant,' he explained.

‘You're deaf!' She looked at Joshua in surprise, then raised her voice. ‘I only know the sign for
good
' – she gave a thumbs up – ‘and
get lost
!' She stuck up a little finger. ‘I'm inviting you to assist Joshua selling tickets for our formal. As a reward, you are also invited. But you can't invite your friends. There'll be heavy security.'

Heath shrugged.

‘And Joshua, could your brother's band be engaged to play at the formal?'

He shrugged. ‘I could ask Tom.'

‘I downloaded their CD. It's not my style, but if they can do covers we'll take them. I need to know by Friday.'

‘Will Angelo Tarano be there?' Heath asked.

‘Yes, he'll be there. Wearing clothes, we hope,' Chelsea yelled.

‘Just talk normally,' Josh suggested.

‘Great,' said Heath. ‘What's there to see around here besides the big houses and the up-themselves shops? It's pretty wanky.

All the
BMW
s. People on the bus just sit there looking like they eat caviar for lunch.'

Chelsea shot Heath a look of surprise. ‘Fiddlesticks! We're very friendly, and we accept everyone, no matter what their disability. You can walk along the river,' she suggested. ‘It's romantic.' She raised her eyebrows at Josh.

‘You've got a river. That's classy. We've only got a creek.'

‘Okay, I'm out of here. Have a great time, guys. No mischief.'

She gave a little wiggle of her fingers. ‘Toodlepip!'

‘Bye, Chels!' Joshua waved back with relief. He turned to Heath. ‘She's kind of pushy.'

He shook his head. ‘So what's this formal thing?'

‘It's for our school and these two private ones. She's sort of mixing us all together.'

‘Cool. Let's go to the river now. Do they bash gays over here?'

‘Not really. I don't know. They never bash me,' said Josh. He handed over the newspaper article. ‘This is for you.'

‘Wow.' Heath looked at the photo of Angelo and read the caption. ‘Gay? He's not gay is he?' Now he looked excited.

Maybe the gift was a bad idea.

‘No. That's his girlfriend. My ex.'

‘Didn't think he was. Bad luck for us all. Will you introduce me?'

‘Sure.'

‘So you really want me to come with you to this formal thing? I dance a bit crap,' Heath said as they walked towards the river.

‘I don't care.' How bad could it be?

‘Sometimes I just do this crazy stamping and marching if I can't hear the rhythm. Would that worry you?'

Josh shook his head vigorously. He wasn't going to stuff up again. ‘No way,' he responded firmly. ‘That's great. However you dance is fine with me.'

‘Great. I might ask Tarano for a dance – check him out.'

‘Well …he'll be dancing with Matilda Grey, I think. He'll probably have his hands full,' Joshua tactfully suggested.

‘So – we'll dance as a threesome!' Heath announced, his eyes gleaming.

Joshua suddenly felt a bit anxious.

OUR BODIES
BETWEEN
OUR KNEES

K
HIEM
D
AO WAS
walking carefully along the bike path that traced the course of the river, videoing the rowing team in action. He was under secret instructions to make it look as if the guys were rowing Chelsea home after school – just her usual method of transport. The guys hadn't realised what she was really up to. At certain points, Chelsea put the megaphone down in the boat and trailed one hand in the water as she dreamily watched the branches of overhanging trees. This was a signal that he should be videoing. She had it all worked out.

Right now, though, Chelsea was on the megaphone and was broadcasting her opinions about a kilometre in all directions.

‘I most certainly can count!' her voice boomed. ‘Lift your oars! Backs straight! Follow the person in front! Lift your oars. One, two!'

The boys were working hard, gliding upstream towards Chelsea's house in concentrated silence.

‘Lean back
... and hold! Lean back… and hold!' Chelsea demanded. Then, obviously aware of his camcorder, she hid the megaphone, leant back and trailed the fingers of her right hand down in the water. It looked classy.

Khiem lowered the camera and grabbed his bike. They were coming to a bend in the river and he'd lose them if he didn't start riding.

Too late – they vanished. He could hear someone else's voice, also amplified, approaching from around the bend as he hopped on his bike. Then a cry: ‘Chelsea
Buns
! Watch what you're doing, girl!'