Screw Loose (21 page)

‘Really?'

‘Of course. A close friend is so important. But he's in Seattle at the moment.'

She wasn't sure whether they were on the same wavelength.

‘You're gay?'

He burst out laughing. ‘Of course not! Of course not! One day I will be the next maharajah. No, but he's a dear friend.'

At this moment, Georgia's stomach rumbled audibly. Feeling a little embarrassed, she looked down into the garden below the terrace. The lake was a sparkling quilt of waterlilies. They were both silent again. She wasn't going to encourage him.

The prince persisted. ‘I do hope you find me a little bit amusing.' He spoke very quietly. ‘Because I find you absolutely delightful.'

‘Don't get your hopes up, mate,' she said sharply.

‘Perhaps you don't understand. Our parents have arranged our future, I believe. It is a matter of maintaining capital; a simple business matter.'

She stood up. ‘You have to be joking!'

Heads turned. She looked towards the servants. Their heads didn't move, but their eyes did.

She suddenly felt very uncomfortable. ‘I've got diarrhoea,' she announced to everyone.

The young maharajah stood up, looking concerned, and took a step towards her.

She stepped back. ‘Stay away!' she protested. The pain was sharp.

‘But…' he said.

‘I must go – in fact, I must go home!' And ignoring all of the faces turned towards her, Georgia fled towards the privacy of her jasmine-scented bathroom.

I ♥
GUINEA
PIGS

T
HE HEAVY DAMP
J
ULY
day reflected Joshua Yeatman's mood. His parents were both out. He'd microwaved a frozen Classic Beef Burgundy and thought about trying some of his dad's wine but changed his mind when he realised he had a stack of homework. First, though, to check out what was happening on
MSN
.

He'd been avoiding Gaywayz – he wanted to explain his behaviour at Flinders Street Station to Fly, but after a week and a half he still didn't quite know why he'd run. It wasn't the deafness, he was sure. He needed to make that clear. Perhaps it was the gayness – the chanting of Angelo's name – that did it?

He climbed the stairs to his bedroom and turned on the computer. While it booted, he changed from his school uniform into jeans and a T-shirt.

As soon as
MSN
opened, Zeynep flashed up.
josh, i need to
ask u a fave.

sure, any fave u like :)

i need guy shoes
, she requested.

my feet are big.
He knew what this was about.

too bad
, she sent.

u will look like a clown
, he warned.

too bad do u have a beanie & jeans & jumper?

sure.

ta could u come ova?

sure
, he replied.

cya.

He liked the idea of Zeynep dressed in his clothes and out with Angelo. Daniel, his parents' psychiatrist friend, would love to hear him explain that one.

Perhaps he should go back to Daniel. Why make a big deal about them shouting Angelo's name? Fly seemed like he would be fun. Relationships were about compromise. Fly would have to compromise with him, because he didn't understand signing; and he would have to learn to handle Fly's loudness, dress sense, deafness: his
out-there-ness
.

Joshua closed Zeynep's dialogue box and checked out his contacts list. Fly was on! He was hardly ever online! It must be fate. Josh took the plunge.

Fly i want to apologise. :) i'm sorry i ran off, i'm an idiot.

Fly jumped back immediately.
u scared ov gay or scared ov
deaf?

both i guess. sorry. any chance of another meeting?

Joshua waited nervously for a response.

im coming to ur turf vistaview.

great.

Oh no!
Not into the school grounds! Not during class time!

But Josh gave bus and train directions.

mi names heath.

my name's Joshua.

gr8 name.

urs too.

meet @ the front gates ov skool @ 4 ok thurs next week
, Heath sent.

will u b alone?
Josh typed.

u scared ov my friends?

ur friends are kool i like emo.

u like guinea pigs?

yeah.

good ill bring ya a g pig.

A guinea pig!
Damn!
Guinea pigs had personality bypasses.

But if he said no he'd stuff up the apology. That was the price he had to pay.

He typed,
gr8 i
♥
guinea pigs.

i got a gay one 4u
.

sure.

gr8 mite bring 2.

just 1 at the moment.

His father might like a guinea pig.

they're both gay.

He was breeding gay guinea pigs! Was that possible?

kool just 1 no room can you cartwheel?

easy.

The ideal boyfriend – except for the guinea pigs.

g2g, cya
.

cya.

Josh slumped back in his ergonomic chair and breathed out shakily. Fly didn't hate him! He was visiting Joshua in one week!

This was happiness. To celebrate, he did a cartwheel and knocked the lamp off his desk. He rolled on the floor, clutching his throbbing foot and grinning madly.

AN
ETIQUETTE
LESSON

T
O
K
HIEM
D
AO
, who was sitting with Craig at the back of the classroom, Chelsea didn't sound her usual over-confident self.

‘Well, it looks like people aren't getting the message,' she snapped from the front of the half-empty classroom. The clamour of distant games suggested that the last place any student would want to be on a Friday lunchtime was at a lesson on manners.

She was a good employer – she paid on time and never bothered to check the pool – and she seemed to like him. He'd been thinking that she might make an interesting girlfriend.

He liked the way she'd arrived home in a taxi on Monday after running away for a night; he'd been cleaning the pool at the time. She didn't speak to anyone after she got back to find the Ryans ensconced in her house – not for two days.

What she didn't know was that Matilda had been using the pool room – she'd even spent a few nights there – to hide from the media. Chelsea would be spitting chips if she knew.

Right now, Khiem felt great. His project to change himself was definitely working. It was no trouble now to resist the text messages from the thugs. He hadn't missed a Vo Vietnam session; he was getting extra dough out of the Deans; he was doing all his homework – and had topped his Maths class in three consecutive tests. Teachers kept complimenting him on his turnaround, and Mr Dunn was going to call him up at assembly on Monday to give him a Vistaview Certificate of Improvement. All he needed now was a girl.

There was still a pile of
DVD
s under his bed – the same pile – but Bruno had said they'd pick them up and Khiem was determined that would be the end of it.

Craig was sitting beside him, noisily eating an apple. Chelsea had bribed Craig into turning up by dangling the keys to the Mercedes in front of him.

‘It's friggin' etiquette lessons every day with her,' Craig complained through his mouthful of apple.

‘Chelsea's house is pretty nice, but,' Khiem said.

‘You only think that because you don't have to live in it with her. I don't know how you can stand doing her pool and sweeping and stuff.'

‘I'd live there any day: pool, Brenda, intercom, Merc, sauna, fountain. Man, she's got it totally made. She's going to let me drive the Merc, too. I'm the emergency chauffeur.'

Craig chortled.

‘Hey, don't laugh!' Khiem looked up at Chelsea. ‘Don't tell her I told you. She wants me to take her to her old school.'

As Khiem was speaking, his phone went. They weren't supposed to answer calls in the school buildings.

It was Pham – surprise, surprise.

‘Yeah?'

‘Can't come over tonight.'

‘You have to,' he snapped. He just wanted to be rid of the damned
DVD
s. He'd dump them if they weren't careful.

‘Can't.'

‘Gotta go.' He pocketed it.

‘We'll wait one more minute,' Chelsea announced. She was drumming her fingers on the desk.

Khiem looked at the audience. Ready for Chelsea Dean's first etiquette lesson were four Year 8 girls, three Year 7 girls, three Year 9 girls, Craig, Joshua Yeatman, Zeynep Yarkan and himself. Joshua and Zeynep had their heads together.

‘We'll start!' Chelsea suddenly announced. ‘But before we do, Craig, Joshua and Khiem, don't forget rowing practice has shifted to this afternoon. Meet me at the sports room after school to carry down the boat and oars.'

With that, Chelsea stood up and unfolded some notes. ‘We begin.' Her voice was bright and positive. ‘Manners maketh the man, and maketh the woman too. The students at Mary Magdalene and St Ethelred's have better manners than most of you, and I don't want them turning their noses up at Vistaview students at my formal because they are yawning without covering their mouths.' She looked at Craig.

Khiem glanced at the two Year 10 girls, who were smiling, and the two Year 7 girls, who were sitting up extremely straight with their hands clasped on their desks. He particularly liked one of the Year 10 girls; he often smiled at her in the corridor and watched the way she tucked her hair behind her ears. She must want to improve herself, too. Maybe next time he'd sit closer to her.

‘So, this is what I'm going to teach you in these lectures to get you ready for the formal: good table manners, how to cough and sneeze, and how upper-class people instantly know you're not one of them.'

No one said anything. She went on. ‘Okay. Let's start with table manners. Elbows in.' Chelsea stuck her elbows out and brought them in a few times. ‘Why do we have elbows in at the table?'

The two younger girls shot their hands up. ‘So you don't jab the person sitting next to you!' said one of them triumphantly.

‘Good.' Chelsea waggled her elbows again.

Khiem didn't know about that, but he thought he kept them in anyway. Why would you stick them out?

‘Next point. What if food gets stuck between your teeth?'

A hand went up.

‘Yes?'

The same Year 7 girl spoke confidently. ‘Brush them?'

‘I meant at the table.'

‘Use a toothpick,' said her friend.

‘Yes, but how does one use a toothpick?'

No hands.

‘I will now demonstrate how to use a toothpick. Imagine I have a toothpick. I raise my left hand and place it in front of my mouth, fingers closed, as if I was about to yawn. Taking the toothpick delicately in my other hand between my thumb and index finger, I bring it around behind my left hand and then stick it between my teeth. Don't talk to other people while you're doing this, or you could end up on a hospital reality show. Now, I'd like you all to pretend you have something stuck in your teeth and practise getting it out.'

All the girls put their hands up to their faces. Khiem, Craig and Joshua didn't.

Khiem noticed Matilda Grey standing at the door looking at Craig. Craig swore softly. Matilda had a black bin-liner under her arm.

‘Craig,' she called from the door. ‘Come to me.'

Craig shook his head.

‘Is Arnold's nose still dry?' she asked.

‘Excuse me, Matilda. I'm teaching etiquette. We're not interested in Arnold's nose. Although, actually, it isn't dry, Matilda – I saw Arnold this morning.' She smiled triumphantly. ‘Perhaps you two could discuss this matter after my class.'

‘What's etiquette?' Matilda asked suspiciously.

‘Manners – like not interrupting people. In fact, you should come in and learn a few. Since you will be accompanying Angelo to the formal.'

Khiem glanced at Craig; he didn't look wholly rapt at the reminder of that little arrangement. Zeynep, on the other hand, hadn't even noticed; she was still whispering to Joshua Yeatman.

Matilda moved stealthily into the room, watching Chelsea the whole time.

‘Do you know what a toothpick is, Matilda?'