Sea of Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens, Book 4) Contemporary Romance (9 page)

“What? Lacy, why?” he asked.

“I’m not the right person for you, Dane. I have this…” She smacked her thigh, crying harder. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t even know I was so scared of sharks, but now I know, and you work with sharks.” She laughed through her tears. “It’s ridiculous.”

“It’s a setback,” Dane said.

“Setback? Dane, you probably have a woman at every stop around the world, or two, or three, or whatever. The last thing you need is a setback.” She swiped at the tears that burned her eyes.

“Damn it, Lacy. Is that what you think? That you’re just another one of them?” He ran his hand over his face. “I knew we shouldn’t have gotten close last night. You have no idea who I am.”

“I know who you seemed to be over the past year and a half over the phone and on Skype and all those sweet, romantic emails when you shared your days and told me how much you thought of me.” She turned away and folded her arms across her stomach. “And how every time I heard your voice, you sounded genuinely happy to hear mine.” She spun back around before he could respond, and when she spoke, all of the hurt at her own weakness and all of the pain of knowing she’d waited fifteen months for a man that she now had to walk away from came rushing forward. “And I know that when I was in your arms, I never wanted you to let go, but now…I can’t be your setback.”

“You’re not my setback. I was making a point. I don’t want a woman at every port, Lacy.” He touched her chin and drew her eyes to his. “I won’t lie to you. I know women in the areas I work, but they’re women I see once or twice a year. They’re not women I even think about after I leave. I know how that makes me sound. I’m well aware of my relationship history, and, Lacy, that’s another reason I was afraid to go see you. Jesus, Lace, couldn’t you tell when we were together that what we had was so much more than a fling?” He searched her eyes.

“I felt every blessed second of what I thought was so real and so magnificent, that it made me forget everything else, but I’m not a guy. I woke up and I remembered.” Lacy thought she was only trying to pick a fight—but the reality of his answers now simmered beneath her feigned anger.

“What are you implying?” Dane asked.

Lacy gritted her teeth against the urge to run away or curl up in the fetal position and sob. She’d come this far. She had to finish. “While you were out sleeping with women across the world, I was waiting for you to show up on my front door,” Lacy admitted. She hadn’t realized how much those long months had upset her. The calls carried her through the next day, and the next, and weeks turned into months, and every time she’d start to get upset about not seeing him, he’d text or email and she’d remember that he was worth waiting for.
And damn it, you were worth waiting for. It’s me who’s fucked up.
Before she knew it, she was coming to the wedding, and even then she’d panicked. Fifteen months was a long time to build up expectations. Once together, everything fell into place so seamlessly that she would have married him if he’d asked. But now that the pain of not seeing him for all those months combined with his admission of being with other women had broken through, she was powerless to stop it. She didn’t recognize the voice that came from deep within her aching chest.

“I remembered how lonely I felt waiting to see you and how I tried so hard to lose myself in my work just so I wouldn’t think about you every minute of every day.” She wiped her eyes and brought her voice under control. “I remembered the nights where I lay in bed, wondering if you were with someone else, and if you were, if you were thinking of me.”

“Lace,” he whispered.

She knew she was creating a fissure too deep to fill between them, but that was the point, wasn’t it? The easier she made it for him to walk away, the easier it would be for her to do the same. She put the final nail in their relationship coffin with a whisper, a sole tear streaming from her eye.

“When I go back home, I don’t want any more of those nights. I think we both know that between the panic attack and the reality check, this is one setback neither of us needs.”

DANE AWOKE TO his alarm at five thirty Sunday morning. He hadn’t spoken to Lacy since the night before. She wouldn’t return his phone calls or texts, and he’d tried to reason with her, but how could he reason with someone who saw right through him?

He packed his bags, sent a text to his employee and friend, Rob, whom he was supposed to meet at the Chatham Marina. Disappointed that he still hadn’t received a text from Lacy, he stuffed his phone in his pocket and headed downstairs. He was surprised to find Josh and Riley at the registration desk.

“You’re heading out early,” Dane said.

“Yeah. We’re meeting with the attorney to finalize the partnership papers.” Josh looked at Riley and smiled. When they’d gotten engaged, Josh had made Riley a full partner at his design company, JBD, which would now become JRB Designs. “After today, we’ll be inseparable.”

“Like we aren’t now?” Riley teased. Her eyes swept over Dane. “You okay? You look really tired.”

“Yeah, fine,” he lied.

“Uh-oh. Trouble with Lacy?” Josh asked.

“You could say that.” Dane set his bags down and dug his hands into his shorts pockets.

“I’m sorry, Dane.” Riley furrowed her brow and tucked a strand of her wavy brown hair behind her ear. She leaned against Josh and wrapped her arm in his. “She seems really sweet.”

“She is,” Dane said.

“What happened?” Riley asked.

“Let’s just say that she sees me for who I am and not who I want to be,” Dane said.

“Ouch,” Josh said. “Sorry, bro.” He embraced Dane. “Listen, if anyone can convince her otherwise, it’d be you. But before you even think about doing it, you might want to be sure that’s what you really want to do.”

Dane let out a breath. “Yeah. Thanks. I see the Braden grapevine wasted no time again.”
What the hell do you think I stayed up half the night thinking about?
“I think it’s more than that, though. I think the panic attack had something to do with it.”

“Can’t you talk to her?”

He shook his head. “I’ve tried.”

“Hey, Hugh was looking for you last night. You might want to ring him before you leave. He wanted to join you today down in Chatham. He said he needed a little more risk in his life.”

Dane loved Hugh, but the idea of entertaining his self-centered younger brother when he was in such a shitty mood was painful. “I’ll call him,” he said.

After Josh left, Dane checked out of the hotel and texted Lacy again.
I’m sorry for everything. I hate how we left things and I miss you. Can we talk? Please?
He tossed his luggage in the trunk of the rental car, then texted Hugh.
I’m heading to Chatham. You up?
A minute later, his phone vibrated and a burst of excitement sent him fumbling with his phone.
Lacy?
His hopes deflated when Hugh’s name appeared. He read the text.

My day freed up. Mind if I tag along on ur trip? I’m taking off later tonight but I have a few hours 2 kill.

Damn
. Dane took one last long look at the dunes where he and Lacy had made love, remembering the way his brain hadn’t zoned out like it had in the past with other women. With Lacy, he’d been both mentally and physically present. The feel of her skin remained on his hands, the taste of her on his lips, and the memory of those unfamiliar feelings pierced his heart like a spear.

He knew it wasn’t fair to take his trouble with Lacy out on Hugh, and he didn’t see Hugh often enough to warrant turning him away. Maybe the distraction would help him get through the day. He texted him back.
Sure. Meet me in pkg lot in 10 mins.

Dane looked back at the hotel, a wave of sadness washing through him. He should stick around and say goodbye to his father and his siblings, who were all due to fly out over the next few hours, but the last thing he wanted was to hear them say they told him so. The last thing he needed was to walk back into that hotel and remember what he’d felt like the night before, knowing that he’d lost any chance he might have had with Lacy.

THE SUN HAD yet to ease the brisk New England morning. With coffee in hand, Dane pulled the hood of his Brave Foundation sweatshirt over his head, stuffed his wallet and cell phone into the pocket of his cargo shorts, and headed down the dock toward his slip with Hugh in tow. On a normal day, heading into New England waters would have his mind reeling with anticipation, his body infused with adrenaline. Today his mind was back in Wellfleet, stuck like a pig in mud in that moment at the park when he felt Lacy tear her heart away from his, when for the first time in his life he’d been unable to talk his way into a woman’s arms.

“Where’s Rob?” Hugh asked.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Maybe it was a mistake bringing Hugh with him. Dane wasn’t even sure he could muster pleasantries or patience.

Dane eyed the sixty-foot lobster boat.
Sturdy. Seaworthy
. He checked his phone again.
Where the hell is Rob?
Rob had worked for Dane for the past ten years. He’d come on almost every assignment, and they were the safest and best damn team around. Hugh eyed a woman on a sport fishing boat a few slips away.
Come on. Really?
Dane didn’t have time for this shit. He climbed aboard.

“Let’s go,” he snapped at Hugh.

“Damn, bro. Ease up. I’m just taking in the eye candy. Shit. You know she’s hot beneath those sweats,” Hugh said.

Two years ago, he’d have been right beside Hugh, drinking in the curves of some anonymous woman, but now the only woman he wanted to ogle was the one who wouldn’t even return his fucking texts.
Fuck.

Dane spotted Rob heading down the dock in rumpled clothing, his eyes locked on the ground and the temporary deckhand they’d hired to help them out following behind him.

“You all right?” Dane ran his eyes down Rob’s clothing.

“Yup,” Rob said. “This is Tim.” Rob lifted his gaze to Hugh. “Hugh, good to see you, man.”

“Rob,” Hugh said. His eyes followed Rob’s every move.

Dane watched Hugh scrutinizing Rob. He was surprised to see Hugh paying such close attention to someone other than himself. Hugh was usually too self-centered to worry about anyone else. Then again, Dane had learned about another side of Hugh on the boat yesterday, too. Maybe his baby brother was finally growing up.

Rob moved robotically through the motions of checking equipment. At five foot ten, Rob was a good five inches shorter than Dane. He was a burly man with an ever-present five-o’clock shadow and thick brown hair that had recently begun to gray at the temples. Rob was usually like a lion, strong and sure. Today he moved like a wounded housecat.

“What’s up with him?” Hugh asked. “The last time I saw him, he was all shit talk and false bravado.”

“Dunno,” Dane answered. Rob was a forty-four-year-old father of two, and Dane had always been able to count on him. Only over the past few weeks had he noticed a change in Rob’s demeanor, but today was far different from anything he’d seen before.

Dane scanned the deck for the chum barrels. “Where’s the chum?” he asked.

“Shit,” Rob said. “Tim, go get it ready. We’ll come pick it up. It’s down at the wharf.”

“Dude, we were supposed to pull out of here half an hour ago.” Dane shook his head.

“Sorry, man. I was up all night. Sheila and I are having an ass load of trouble,” Rob said.

“Trouble?”

Rob put his hands on his hips and spit in the water. “Yeah. I didn’t want to say anything, but she left me, Dane. She said she needed a break, to clear her head or some shit like that.”

“You didn’t want to say anything? Shit, Rob, you tell me when she breaks a nail,” Dane said. “We just had dinner together a few weeks ago. You guys seemed fine. Jesus, Rob, how does that happen after fourteen years of—”

“Fourteen years of marriage? Got me by the balls,” Rob said. “She took the kids and went to her mother’s three days ago.”

“What happened? Was it because of all the travel?” Dane asked. In all the years they’d worked together, Dane had never seen Rob do anything inappropriate with women. He’d always spoken highly of his family, and as far as Dane knew, he was a great father. He couldn’t imagine him doing anything that would cause Sheila to leave.

Rob shook his head. “I just don’t know."

Dane noticed the evasive shift in Rob’s eyes, and he realized that Rob knew why Sheila had left, but he wasn’t ready to share it with him just yet. “We can table this run.” Dane put a hand on Rob’s shoulder. “Take a day. It’s no big deal.”

Rob shrugged him off. “Bullshit. I’m fine.”

“Rob—”

“I’m fine. Let’s do this shit.” Rob turned and stalked to the far side of the deck.

Dane watched Rob walk away, wondering how the hell fourteen years of marriage could end just like that.
How could fifteen months of—What? Long-distance flirting?—end just like that?

DANE PILOTED THE boat out to sea, stewing over the way Lacy had ended their night. She hadn’t wanted him to walk her to her room, and as he watched the elevator doors close, with Lacy on one side and him on the other, he felt as if his heart had been cut in two. Now, as they raced out into the open sea, anger crept in.
Why hadn’t I anticipated her panic attack? Why the fuck did I tell her about those other women? Hell, why didn’t I go see her?

“Excuse me, Dane?”

Dane spun around. Tim had tied a bandana around his head, reining in his blond hair, which stuck out below and hung down to his collar. He had a broad chest and a thin waist, and his bulbous biceps rivaled Dane’s, though he was a good ten years younger. “Yeah?”

“It’s just, uh, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but Rob’s out there puking his guts up and I’m, uh, wondering if you wanted to go check him out. I can take over here.”

“Shit,” Dane said.

Tim took over, and Dane found Rob leaning over the rail. Hugh stood a few feet away with his arms crossed, shaking his head.

“You okay?” Dane asked.

“Yeah,” Rob said.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were sick? You could have stayed back onshore. I’ve got Hugh and Tim. Hell, we can afford to miss a day, too, Rob.” Dane reached for a towel and handed it to his friend.

“I’m fine.” Rob took the towel and walked away.

Hugh sidled up to Dane and whispered, “Hangover.”

“No way. Rob would never be so careless.”
Or fall off the wagon
. Rob was a recovered alcoholic, fifteen years sober. Dane had shared that information with Treat and his father, and now he wondered if the Braden hotline had fed Hugh that intel, too. Dane looked back at Rob, who was leaning over the opposite railing. He shook his head, not wanting to believe it. He pulled Rob away from Hugh. “Something else you want to tell me?”

Rob grimaced. “No.”

“Rob, we can’t do this with you in this condition. Hell, Rob. Why didn’t you come to me?” Dane pushed aside his thoughts of Lacy long enough to really focus on Rob.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just having an off morning,” Rob said.

“Off enough that we should cancel the run?” He narrowed his eyes, but Rob met his stare and held it.

“No.”

THEY’D BEEN CHUMMING the water and fishing for sharks for two hours. Dane watched Rob like a hawk, and he seemed to have pulled himself together.
Maybe it was just an off morning
.

“Fin!” Hugh yelled.

“Jesus, Hugh, why don’t you call in the cavalry?” Rob snapped.

“It’s about time,” Dane said. Between Lacy and Rob, his patience had worn thin.

Dane and Hugh stood beside each other, arms crossed, watching the water expectantly.

Rob grumbled beneath his breath, “Come on, you son of a bitch. Take it.”

The shark circled, then disappeared, and a few minutes later it reappeared.

“Son of a bitch. Take the bait,” Rob growled.

“Does it usually take this long?” Hugh and Dane stripped off their shirts. Their muscles already glistened with sweat.

“Yeah, this is nothing. Sometimes Rob and I are out here for four or five hours and we come up empty-handed. It’s the nature of the beast,” Dane said.

“Frigging beast,” Rob said.

The more Rob grumbled, the more it rode Dane’s nerves. Ever since Hugh had mentioned a hangover, he’d been watching Rob, and after seeing his bloodshot eyes, Dane wasn’t so sure Hugh was wrong.

“Damn, they’re so close. Look at that big one. When will they take the hook?” Hugh asked.

Rob leaned against the rail. “When they’re damn good and ready,” he snapped.

“He’s having a hard time,” Dane said to Hugh.

“Hey, whatever. I’m just glad I get to be here. I looked for you last night. I thought you left the resort early,” Hugh said.

Dane gritted his teeth. The last thing he wanted to talk about was the previous evening. He was trying to keep his mind off of the fact that Lacy was ignoring his calls.

“Where’d you go?” Hugh asked. “I saw Lacy in the hall at the resort.”

“You did? At midnight?”
What the hell?

“Yeah. I asked her where you were, and she said she thought you turned in early but that you might be with someone else.” Hugh shrugged. “I figured some kind of shit went down between you two.”

“With someone else? Who does she think I—” The clicker on the fishing reel ticked repeatedly as the line was drawn out, catching Dane’s attention. “Bite. We’ve got a bite.”

Rob jumped to his feet and helped Dane strap the harness around his waist and legs. Dane scanned Rob’s face. Whether it was the adrenaline rush that came along with tagging or the fresh sea air, Rob looked much clearer than he had moments before. The color had returned to his cheeks. They were done in seconds. Then Dane strapped himself into the fighting chair, or what Dane jokingly called the death chair. The death chair was constructed of wood and metal and secured to the boat deck. It had a foot plate that Dane used to further gain control while he reeled in the shark. The chair rotated with the movement of the fish, and Dane’s legs strained against the pressure.

“You sure that’s safe?” Hugh asked.

“It better be.” Dane pulled back on the line until it was tight, then yanked three or four times—hard.