SEAL's Bride: A Secret Baby Romance (8 page)

Remy snorted. “No, sorry.”

“Hmm,” he said, fixing his gaze on her again. “Guess I’ll just have to keep my detective hat on for a little while longer then, huh?”

A dimple flashed in his cheek. Vaguely, Remy knew that his words should fill her with dread, the way she felt when Arlo had threatened her.

It was hard to feel that way when she looked at Sawyer. Instead, it made her think of sun-kissed summer days and stolen kisses behind the school bleachers. It made her think of when they were crowned prom king and queen, and when Sawyer’d first told her he loved her, way back in middle school.

“I like your hair grown out a little, like that,” she blurted out. She felt her cheeks grow pink, and she felt like a silly teenage girl again.

“Oh, yeah?” he asked. His gaze dipped from her face down to her body, just for a second. “I like a lot of things about you, Remy.”

He reached out and skimmed the backs of his fingers down her shoulder, and it was all Remy could do not to moan. How long had it been since she’d been touched by a man?

Remy shook her head. “I’ve changed a lot since you saw me last.”

“Maybe, but I still think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he said.

“Sawyer… I’m not… I’m not that girl, anymore.”

Something flared in Sawyer’s eyes, but he didn’t challenge her.

“I’m starting to understand that, now. I just wish you’d tell me what happened to make you feel that way.”

Hmmm, maybe being all but abandoned by you, getting threatened by your father, and then going through 18 hours of labor with just my mother at my side?
she thought, feeling a flash of bitterness.

Not that she could say any of it to Sawyer, but there was certainly a small part of her that wanted to lash out at him, pound her fists on the solid wall of his chest, make him understand.

Instead she said, “I’m not the girl you knew, Sawyer. Life went on when you were gone. I have other things in my life. Responsibilities. Baggage.”

Sawyer’s brows lifted. “You mean the farm?”

Remy frowned. “Well… no, but… yes. It’s more than that.”

Sawyer leaned closer, just a fraction, but suddenly Remy couldn’t seem to catch a breath.

“What if I told you that I don’t care about any of that?” he asked.

This close, his eyes filled with heat, his body brushing against hers… it was persuasive. Sawyer consumed her, the clean male scent of him filling her senses, making her forget everything else…

“What do you want, Sawyer?” she managed to ask, her lips trembling.

He sucked in a breath, his gaze dropping to her lips. She had the barest second of recognition before he descended, his mouth pressing against hers in a possessive, demanding kiss.

He cupped her jaw, his lips working over hers. After a moment of frozen indecision, she sighed, giving him an opportunity.

Sawyer teased her with the tip of his tongue, reminding her just how talented that tongue could be. Even back in school, before she’d given up her innocence to him, that tongue had given her pleasure countless times.

When his other hand settled on the small of her back, slowly drawing her closer, she almost let him.

Almost.

Her hands flew up, pushing at his shoulders. She broke the kiss, shaking her head.

“No,” she said, both to Sawyer and herself. “This isn’t right.”

“Remy…” he said.

“I swear, I thought maybe you’d changed a little bit since high school. You really haven’t though,” she said with a frown.

“Tell that to the decade I served in the Navy,” he said, his brow creasing.

“I’m not talking about your work ethic, Sawyer. I’m talking about the way you are with women. How many other girls are you running around with these days, huh?”

Sawyer gave her a look. “None, right this moment.”

“Uh huh. And later tonight, you’re not going to be on the phone to one of your girlfriends back in D.C.?”

“I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“So, you’re actually worse than before. You can’t even keep a girlfriend now?” she demanded to know.

“Why the hell would I want to do that?” he spat, then pulled a face as if already regretting his words.

She stood, a rush of anger filling her chest. Though it was more for herself than for Sawyer, she turned her bitterness outward.

“You can’t just waltz back in here and think I’m going to fall into your lap, Sawyer. I’m not some… floozy, you can just pick up and put down when you want. I’ve moved on with my life, just like you did.”

He reached out and snagged her hand. “Is there someone else, Remy?”

She stared at him for a second. If she just said yes, right this second, there was a chance that Sawyer would back off.

Then again, she shouldn’t have to use the excuse of belonging to some other man to make Sawyer respect her wishes.

“No,” she said. “There’s no one, but it doesn’t change the way I feel.”

“I think I could change your mind,” Sawyer said, cocking a brow.

The cocky smile that slid onto his face was almost more than she could bear.

“Yeah, I bet you’ve proven that time and again with countless other girls over the years,” she snarled. “I’m not your plaything, Sawyer. Find someone else’s head to mess with.”

Whirling, she fled, furious with the tears that threatened to break free. Though she was mad at Sawyer, she was more upset with herself. Everything that was happening now, it was happening because she let herself be weak around him.

Like she didn’t understand the consequences, like she didn’t understand the stakes of this little game.

Play with fire, you’re bound to get burned…

“
B
y God
, what a week,” Colt said, kicking up his heels on the back porch.

“Yeah,” Sawyer said, rubbing a sore spot in his neck. “I’m sunburned and worn out.”

Walker came out of the house with several beers in a bucket, iced down.

“Genius!” Colt declared.

Walker sat, all three of them leaning back in their chairs and enjoying the sunset.

“Don’t get too comfortable,” Colt warned. “Marilee called to say she’s on her way over. I get the feeling that she wants something.”

Sawyer arched an ironic brow at Colt, who grinned.

“I know, I know,” Colt said. “She wouldn’t call us, otherwise.”

Walker grunted, but didn’t voice whatever antagonistic thoughts were drifting through his mind. Walker never really got over their mother’s death, having been the closest to her.

His father publicly acknowledging his mistress so soon after the death of his wife… that was something none of the Roman sons ever forgot, but Walker was still actively angry about it.

Nobody held a grudge like Walker, either.

Sawyer took advantage of the lull to return a few emails on his phone, then text back Merissa and Stacy, complimenting the dirty videos they’d sent him days before. If he was a little slow to respond, neither girl seemed to mind.

Truth be told, he hadn’t even watched Stacy’s video. Three seconds of her dull-as-dirt striptease, and Sawyer’d drifted off to sleep.

He blamed the physical labor, wearing him out beyond all reason. Normally, he’d be pretty damned interested, especially because Merissa had the nicest pair of fake tits that money could buy.

Her tanned skin and dark hair weren’t doing a whole lot for him recently, though. Damned if he knew why. Stacy, at least, was blonde… but her high-pitched Valley Girl voice had started to grate on his nerves.

Turning his phone off, he put it aside and tried to enjoy the moment with his brothers.

After a few minutes of quiet drinking, the click of heels announced Marilee’s arrival. She stepped out onto the back porch, making a face like she’d just gotten a whiff of hot garbage.

In her tight leopard-print dress and sky-high white heels, she surveyed Sawyer and his brothers like a queen addressing her subjects.

“Here you boys are. Why in the world would you be out here with the mosquitos when you could be relaxing in the kitchen? It’s nice and new and clean,” she said, eyeing them.

Sawyer glanced at his brothers. All three shrugged, unwilling to insult her, but not particularly fond of the kitchen, either.

“Well,” she said, brushing back a lock of her platinum blonde hair. “I just came out to tell you in person that I signed you boys up for some community service.”

“Sorry?” Colt blurted out, looking baffled.

“There are some families in Catahoula that are struggling a lot more than the Romans,” Marilee said, pinning them with a firm gaze. “I think the family should give back more. I’m making your father donate money, since he refuses to
do
anything. But I’m working at the food pantry, and I’ve signed y’all up to do some projects around town. Once a week, instead of the church social.”

Sawyer considered the last part. He didn’t really want to do community service, but then again he didn’t want to go to stuffy church functions, either.

“All the young people from church will be there,” Marilee said. “Not just boys swinging hammers, if you get my drift.”

“Marilee—” Walker started to protest.

“We’ll do it,” Sawyer said, raising a hand to cut his brother off.

Colt and Walker turned to him in surprise. He arched a brow. “Hey, it’s for a good cause, right?”

Marilee gave them a glowing grin. “Perfect! To think, your father said I couldn’t talk y’all into it. He never does give you boys enough credit.”

“Especially where there are women involved,” Walker mumbled, too quiet for her to hear.

“Well, I will leave you boys to your… lounging,” she said, casting a final pointed glance around the back porch.

“Night, Marilee,” Sawyer and Colt said.

She turned and clicked away purposefully, and no sooner was she out of their line of sight did Colt and Walker turn on Sawyer.

“Really?” Walker asked, looking annoyed.

“You’re mad that I got us out of a month of church socials?” Sawyer asked, leaning back in his seat with a smirk.

“I’m not mad,” Colt said. “I’m astonished how far you’ll go to chase a girl that won’t even speak to you.”

“I can’t believe you think you can still speak for both of us, at this age,” Walker complained.

“Look. You need to get out of the damned house, talk to some women like a normal guy your age,” Sawyer told Walker. “And Colt, this is a great way for you to quietly stalk Shelby River without looking like a tool. As far as I see it, we’re all getting something out of this.”

Walker stood, his expression going dark. He stared at Sawyer for a second, clearly on the verge of unleashing his anger, but he turned and stormed off instead.

“Nice,” Colt said, righting himself. “Great job handling that, brother.”

“It’s been years,” Sawyer said, feeling a little defensive.

“Would it kill you to be a little more sensitive?”

“There are over 3 billion women in the world. He can’t just give up and be alone forever at 28.”

“Yeah, well. If Remy died, would you be in a rush to go out and replace her?” Colt asked, standing and picking up his beer.

Sawyer glared at Colt. “Remy’s not my fiancée, first off. I’m just trying to make things right between us, figure out what the mystery is around her.”

“Yeah, sure. You’re not just sliding right back into your pattern, the life you had before you went into service. Is that what you tell yourself every night, after a hard day’s work pushing Remy’s boundaries?”

“You’ve got a hell of a big mouth, Colt,” Sawyer said, pushing to his feet. “I think I’m going to head to bed. Wouldn’t want to disappoint anyone tomorrow at community service.”

Leaving Colt with a sneer on his face, Sawyer headed for bed.

A
s it turned out
, Sawyer didn’t see Remy at the next day’s social. They drove out to the Hemmings’ Farm, doing hard labor felling trees to make space for a new barn. As the day turned to dusk and a bonfire started, he thought surely he’d see her then…

But no luck. In fact, Micah River was the only one who showed up out of the whole family. It wasn’t like Sawyer could go ask
him
where the rest of the family was.

The week stretched on, without a sighting. She wasn’t at the bar on Wednesday night, where all three brothers sat in a booth in near-silence. Walker was still on edge with Sawyer, while Colt was just plain worn out from their work on the barn, though of course he wouldn’t admit it.

And Sawyer, Sawyer was caught up in memories of the past, thinking about the last time he was in town. The last time things went right, when he and Remy were still friendly.

More than friendly, actually. He’d taken her out on a trail ride near the end of his trip, traveling a ways down Cur Creek. Down to a place by the river, the swimming hole where they’d hung out as teens, throwing bonfires and staying up late necking and drinking.

Not that Remy had done a lot of that. He’d been with her a handful of times in high school and a handful of times since then, but as far as Sawyer knew he was her one and only. At least, that was how he liked to think of it.

Going out to the river at 26, just the two of them on a moonlit date… it was a very different experience from their high school days. He’d laid out a midnight picnic for her with sandwiches and champagne.

They rekindled their spark right away, like Sawyer and Remy always seemed to do. A single kiss consuming them both until it burned them down to the ground, leaving them in the ashes.

Remy was so beautiful that night, shyly shedding her clothes in the summer air, giving in to Sawyer’s every demand. Once he’d teased her enough, she grew bold and wanton.

Got on top, rode him hard, took what she needed. Damn, just the thought of her like that made him so hard, he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

And those lips, the way he’d taught her to suck his cock… Remy mastered it like a pro, bringing him to his knees with ease.

He loved that about her, how she turned hot as flame, just for him. He’d had other women, some amazingly limber, or some who fucked like cheap porn stars… but none of them were like Remy.

There was just something about her, some sweetness or beauty that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. She had a secret dirty side, and it was nearly Sawyer’s undoing. It drove him crazy, had him thinking about her all the time back when he was deployed.

Sawyer sat at the bar with his brothers, stuck in the past. Even when some decent-looking girls came over, a little young but hot, in itty bitty short denim skirts with thongs peeking out at their hips, he couldn’t stop thinking of Remy.

Colt invited the girls to sit down and drink, which of course they did. An hour into their acquaintance, Sawyer had a cute little redhead half on his lap, and when she started groping him under the table…

Damn, the girl was forward.

He glanced at her, all that makeup covering up her youthful freckles, and something in him broke. He felt a little queasy, and quickly slid the girl’s hand away from where it laid on his upper thigh.

The girl seemed to take no offense, and when Colt left with one of the other girls, Sawyer and Walker made their getaway. Colt, they assumed, would find his own ride home.

“Looks like you had a close call, there,” Walker said as they drove home in Walker’s Escalade.

“Yeah. She was too young,” Sawyer said.

“She was probably 23.”

“Yeah. Like I said, too young.”

“Too young, or just not the girl you want?”

Sawyer shot Walker a look, then shook his head.

“I don’t know, man.”

Walker only nodded. Talking to Walker was easy like that, he rarely judged and often saw right to the heart of things.

The real question was, what the hell was up with Sawyer’s libido? Normally being elbow-deep in chicks was like… his
thing
. He didn’t care who, what, when, or where as long as there were new girls, and those girls were hot.

And yet, here he was, turning down probably prime young pussy, all because…

Because what? Because Remy wouldn’t look his way?

Ridiculous.

After the bar, back in his apartment, Sawyer struggled for self-control. He wanted Remy badly. The more she ran from him, the more it seemed he wanted her.

Am I that kind of dick?
he wondered to himself.
The kind of guy who just wants what he can’t have? After all, I didn’t exactly rush home to see her when I left the service…

Sawyer fell into a restless sleep, frustrated with himself, knowing that he’d regret his wakefulness in the morning. He slipped down and down into memory, but this time it was no sweet memory of Remy.

No, this time he dreamed of the
sand
.

The thing he remembered the most about Camp Leatherneck was the sand. Everywhere he looked, all around was sand. The camp was built on sand. What little wasn’t actual sand, the actual base, was colored like sand. Camouflage, yeah…

But if he blinked, he could almost miss the base and just see an endless sea of sand dunes, stretching out across the parched, barren terrain.

The sand got into everything. Boots, toothpaste, bunk, food. Long bouts of inactivity between missions, boredom for days and days on end, all while feeling trapped by the sand, feeling like he’d never get out.

He remembered that specific moment, camping bivouac style with no tents about 300 miles from Leatherneck. They were returning from a recon mission, taking their time about it.

Sawyer remembered packing up camp. Holding up his boot, turning it upside down to make sure nothing had crawled in there overnight. He remembered watching sand slither and fall, the fine tawny grains sliding from his shoe and catching the breeze…

He felt the impact before he heard or saw it, felt the IED rumble and explode.

CRACK.

Sawyer sat up in his bed, an anguished wail escaping his lungs. He felt sick, his chest tight. His body hot, his arms cold, covered in sweat and shaking like a leaf.

Blinking into the early morning Louisiana light, he rose and went to the window.

CRACK
.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as the sound came again. Drawing back the curtain, he peered outside. Only 20 feet away, Walker was stripped to the waist, chopping wood.

No doubt it was Walker’s way of paying Sawyer back for bringing up Walker’s fiancée the previous evening.

Letting the curtain drop, Sawyer walked back over to sink down on his bed, burying his face in his hands.

What a way to start the day
, he thought to himself.

S
awyer had better
luck at the second work social. The River family turned out in full force to the Scott Farm, where the men helped with the same kind of backbreaking barn repairs from the previous social, while the women all worked to process and can various jellies and vegetables on tables just outside.

Early in the day, Sawyer took a break to grab some water. Leaving the barn, he walked up behind Remy and Shelby, who were clearly in the throes of a heated argument. Tucked away at the side of the barn, the two blonde sisters couldn’t see him, giving him a prime chance to eavesdrop.

“Sawyer’s going to find out,” Shelby hissed, pointing a finger at Remy. “He’s not stupid, you know.”

“It’s none of his business,” Remy said, folding her arms across her chest.

“Remy, this is just wrong, and you know it.”

Walker strode up behind Sawyer, clearing his throat. Both women turned and spotted Sawyer and Walker, Remy and Shelby both going a little pale.

“Just coming for some water,” Sawyer said, narrowing his gaze.

“Mmm,” Shelby said, drawing Remy away.

“Interesting,” Sawyer mumbled to Walker. “They were just talking about me. About how I was going to find out about something.”