Searching for Tomorrow (Tomorrows) (11 page)

“Well, haven’t you ever heard that real men don’t cry? Lord knows I’ve heard Mother say that enough times in my life. If I am going to cry
, I want it to be for a good reason.”

Hmm
… that’s interesting.
“So, you don’t think leaving me is a good enough reason to cry? Why don’t you tell me what you think qualifies as a good reason, then.” I couldn’t wait to hear what he told me. And so help me, if he said when Old Yeller died, I would open that truck door and jump out, after beating him in the head.

“I’m really not that complicated. I reckon I’ll cry when you say ‘yes’, and then again when you say ‘I do’. Then
, later on down the road, it’s pretty much a guarantee that I’ll cry when our kids are born. Those sort of things would bring this boy to his knees, cause those things are what’s really important.”

Sigh. Great answers.
My head still rested on his leg, and I wondered if he could see that my mouth had dropped open. I blinked several times to try to keep the tears from spilling over. I had shed enough today to last me for a while, at least I hoped so. These roller coaster emotions were getting the best of me, but with an answer like that? I melted like a stick of butter that someone had left too close to a hot stove. My heart thumped in my chest, and when I closed my eyes, I could picture in my head the very things that would make him cry. The tears he saw were happy, not mournful, but that shouldn’t surprise me. Tripp had always looked for the good and cheerful and avoided the sad.

“Babe
, you still there? You’ve gone awful quiet on me. The diner’s right here. Let’s go grab that coffee before we head over.” He pulled into the parking lot of a cute little Sixties-style diner. After helping me sit back up, he pulled me in for a tight hug and whispered, “You’ll see babe. This isn’t the beginning of the end. It’s just the beginning. I plan to shed tears with you, but only for the good things. Now come on.”

Ever the gentleman, when Tripp exited the truck, he held out
his hand to help me step down. As my feet touched the ground, he pulled me to him. He just held me against him with his arms wrapped tightly around me, almost as if he was trying to share his strength with me.

I welcomed the feeling of happiness that filled my heart, and hoped that it would stay
for a while. I wished that I could be half as strong for him as he was for me. I felt pretty confident that the next few hours were going to really test me.

After that catastrophic meeting with Mother Tidwell, I call Jennifer and Wendy to find out where we are meeting. I’m not quite sure that I am up for friendly chatter, but at the same time, I’m not so sure that I should be at home by myself. As I pass Mr. Jasper at the guardhouse, I wave goodbye, and head back towards downtown.

We decided that our first stop will be Buck’s for coffee and cheddar biscuits.
A girl needs carbs to give her the fuel to shop. As I step in the door, the smell of roasting coffee beans fills the air. If I could breathe my caffeine, I would stand in Buck’s all day. The fragrance draws me to the counter to place our order for three vanilla lattes, two cheddar biscuits, and one cinnamon scone. While I am waiting, Wendy and Jenn come through the door. The sight of them erases any lingering anger and hurt left behind by Mother Tidwell.

You would think a bunch of high school girls had invaded the coffee shop. I immediately head over
towards them as they make a beeline straight to me. We are all hugs and giggles, and anyone looking on would think it had been a year and not just a week since we’ve seen each other. Over all our noise, I hear our order called, so the girls and I grab our treats and then find a few cozy chairs to sit back and relax.

Settling back into the plump cushions, I realize how glad I am that I didn’t go home
to lick my wounds in private. It has been too long since I took the time to relax and enjoy spending time with my friends outside of my house. Wendy and Jenn are always more than willing to come and help me catch up on things, it’s just so much better when I don’t have to worry about laundry, cleaning, and cooking while we’re together.

Wendy and Jenn look at each other, and then turn to stare me down. Wendy breaks the ice and asks, “So, what happened with the Wicked Witch today, and don’t try to blow us off.
You know we won’t let it rest until you get it all out of your system.”

I
am trying not to obsess or freak out over the encounter with Mother Tidwell, and then it dawns on me. “Oh my gosh, I don’t have to call
her
Mother Tidwell anymore.” A giddy feeling comes over me, and right here in the middle of Buck’s, I lose it. It starts as a giggle, but before too long, I am outright laughing. I grab a napkin from the tray and wipe the tears as they fall from my eyes. For so long, I have lived under
her
demands and hatred. The pressure kept building, but now I feel like someone has released the valve. For the first time in years, my shoulders aren’t tight with tension; my temples aren’t pounding in frustration.

Through my laughter, I see the concern
on their faces, and I try to control myself so that I can explain just what happened. “I drove ... over this morning ... and I found out … a whole bunch of stuff.” I stop, take in a deep breath, and hold it. When I feel like I have my laughter under control, I continue. “So, I was standing on her porch trying to work up the nerve to knock on the door, and I swear I heard Tripp encouraging me.”

There are friends who are more like acquaintances, and then there are true friends like these two.
They both reach over and put a hand on my shoulder, and Wendy murmurs, “Oh, honey.” The thing about these girls is that they love me for me, even when they think I am crazy. They know all about how I still see his rugged face, feel his special warmth, smell his unique scent, and hear his comforting voice. The best part is that they don’t treat me as if I have lost my mind. They know that he is still as real to me today as he was the last time he placed his lips to mine, the last time I heard his voice, and saw his handsome face on Skype. They know I still talk to him, that I haven’t let go of him yet. As true friends do, they still love me.

“No, it’s okay. You know I love to hear his voice. Anyway, while I
’m standing there listening with my eyes closed, of course,
she
flings open the door and starts right in on me. But really, none of that is important.”

What in this world are they going to think?
“I made the mistake of asking her why she hated me, and well, she told me a lot of stuff.”

Oh my, if looks could kill, people would be falling down all around us.
Thankfully, Wendy and Jenn don’t direct their angry glares at me. I know exactly whom the looks are intended for. Jenn squints her eyes and hisses, “That’s it. I am going over there and giving her a piece of my mind. You just wait until I’m through with her.”

I
can’t help it. I let out a loud bark of laughter, wrap my arms around my girls, and give them a big squeeze. “No, let me just tell you the best news ever. SHE ISN’T TRIPP’S MOM!”

I sit back in the seat and watch the emotions play over their faces. Anger, confusion
, surprise, and finally joy. They understand exactly what this means for my family, my girls, and me. I hope that we are free from the tormenter previously known as Mother Tidwell.

Jenn and Wendy s
it straight up in their chairs and begin to fire questions at me nonstop. We nibble through our biscuits, and when our coffees are gone, we order more and sit right back down. I fill them in on all the details, and while Ms. Tidwell getting the trust fund ticks them both off, they know me well enough to realize I couldn’t care less about the money.

I look at the time on my cell pho
ne and see that it’s almost two o’clock already. We make plans for them to bring their kids over for a play date. While we didn’t go shopping, hanging out with my friends was exactly what I needed. When we stand to leave, I break out in a little happy dance before giving and getting hugs.

I walk out the door feeling so much better than I did when I started my day. It’s amazing the wonderful feelings you get when you spend time with people who love and understand you and would never judge you.
With a new spring in my step, I decide to walk down to corner where Mountain Fresh is located. I need to figure out what to cook for supper tonight. It feels like it’s been forever since I twirled around the kitchen, whipping up simple meals with my girls. Homemade pizza comes to mind, so after doing a quick mental check of the items in my pantry, I grab a pen and some paper from my purse to jot down the few things that I know we will need for our culinary delight.

A
s I near the door to the grocery store, I hear someone call my name. I look to where I think I heard the voice, and I am both surprised and thrilled to see Lara Feldstein walking towards me. I haven’t seen her since right after we graduated. She and Liam had dated our senior year in high school, and their first year of college. Since Tripp and I were settling in to start our new life together at Fort Benning, I wasn’t able to be with Liam as much as we both would have liked, so I was glad he had Lara. The two were as inseparable as Tripp and I had been. Right before summer break after their freshman year, she and her mom had abruptly moved, leaving my brother brokenhearted. She was the one he always felt he let get away.

“Well look at you
, Wrynn. You haven’t changed a bit since I saw you last.” Lara leans in and gives me a warm hug.

I pull back and look her over
from head to toe, give a little whistle, and say, “It seems like some of us get prettier with age. Now, I’m not so sure that I can be seen with you. Lara, you’re a knockout.” With her waist length black hair, tall, slender frame, and arctic blue eyes set in a heart shaped face, Lara truly has aged well. “It’s hard not to be just a little jealous, honey. I know for a fact that you’re older than I am.”

Lara shakes her
head at my reminder of the way Liam used to tease her about his dating an older woman. Her birthday is March 15, and that makes her just a little over a month older than Liam and me. “I was just running in to grab a few things to snack on later. Is there still a coffee shop in here?” Lara leans her head towards the door, and we both head inside.

“Oh
, Lara, there is so much more than just a coffee shop. You will hardly recognize this as the place where we used to come after football games for milkshakes and sodas.” I look at her, and can’t help but wonder what she is doing here. “Do you mind if I ask how long you’re going to be in Highlands?”

A slight blush tints Lara’s cheeks, and she looks down at the floor. A second or two pass before she looks back up, and the raw
pain in her eyes sends me back a step. In a whispered voice, she asks, “Does he hate me? Will he even give me a chance to explain?” Tears seep from the corners of her eyes, but she holds her ground.

I put my arm around her shoulder, and guide her to a table in the corner of the café. We sit down, and I take her hand in mine. “Lara
, honey, I don’t think Liam could ever hate you. I won’t lie to you though, when you ran off without a word, you hurt him bad.” I rub her back, trying to offer comfort. She looks down at the table, and I can feel and understand her anguish. Liam is important to me, so I need to know that she understands what I am saying. “If all you want to do is apologize to him and then turn around and leave … well, I’m going to have to ask you to just leave. We all loved you, but Liam.… Honey, your leaving almost killed him. He’s still not over you, even after almost ten years have gone by. So, if you’re not staying, please don’t try to contact him. Please, don’t tear him apart again.”

“I’m staying.” She speaks the words in such a low volume that I ask her to repeat it so that I can make sure I heard her correctly. In a stronger voice,
she says, “I’m staying. Whether he forgives me or not, I am through running. I loved the time I spent here, and nothing or no one can force me to leave again.”

“
I have to pick up a few things for supper and then run get the girls from school. Why don’t you come over and have supper with us tonight?
Us
meaning Liam, my three girls, and me. It won’t be anything fancy, just homemade pizza and salad. Do you remember where Nana and Papa lived?” She nods her head yes, and I can’t help but notice that some of the pain in her eyes has diminished. “Well, the girls and I live in the house, and Liam lives in the basement. You just come around 5:30 and we’ll let you help us make the pizza.” I stand up from the table, and as I wait for her answer, I wrap her in my arms for one more hug.

She squeezes me tight, and when she releases me, she has her beautiful smile right back where it belongs. She stands to leave, and as she walks away, she looks over her shoulder at me and says, “We’ll
try to be there.”

“We’ll
try to be there.”
Those words play through my head continuously as I rush to gather my groceries.
I guess she and her mom are here.
Oh, I hope she’s not married.
I really don’t want to be late picking the girls up
again
. While standing in line at the checkout, I go over what’s in my buggy, trying to make sure that I grabbed everything I will need.
Surely, she wouldn’t ask me about Liam if she were married.
When the cashier tells me my total, I automatically swipe my debit card and punch in my PIN, and then realize how terribly rude I have been. I smile at the cashier. “Julie! It’s so good to see you. I’m sorry for my rudeness. I guess I was just lost in my thoughts. You know how I get sometimes.” She smiles and nods her head, and then thanks me for coming in. I grab my bags, wish her a good evening, and rush towards the door to go get my girls.

This is my favorite time of the day. If I’m not working, I love to pick my girls up from school. I head straight to my car to throw the groceries in the cooler, and then turn right back around and walk to the school.
As luck would have it, I get there right as the first dismissal bell rings. The quiet schoolyard transforms into a madhouse right before my eyes. The high school and middle school classes dismiss first, and teenagers and pre-teens of all sizes rush through the prison doors to their freedom. Cliques of girls gather in their exclusive clusters to gossip about who wore what, and who talked to whom. Hair flipping and high-pitched giggling begins as the jocks lumber out, and the girls break rank to get the boys’ attention. After a few minutes, the buses are loaded, the cars have left, and the school grounds are once again empty.

When the elementary bell rings
, excitement fills me as I anxiously wait to see my three heartbeats. Tired and harried teachers lead the kids to the sidewalk and help them form lines according to grade. The children giggle and squirm, eager to leave school behind for another day. I catch a glimpse of my Annie talking to a teacher and pointing over towards a group of smaller children.
Ah, there’s my Bekah, and it looks as if she is crying
. I watch as Annie walks over to her and pulls Bekah into her arms. It is such a sweet picture, seeing one of my girls comforting her sister, and my heart nearly bursts with love.