Authors: Bonnie Hopkins
“I didn’t know you had a son,” Jaci exclaimed, turning toward him in her seat as much as the seat belt permitted. “How old
is he?”
“Nineteen. He’s lived with me since he was ten. After a short, rocky marriage, his mother and I split up and she remarried
right away and had a couple of other children. It was rough on Patrick. The new husband tolerated him until he got older.
Then his tolerance ended when Patrick, who had always felt like an outsider, began acting out.”
“Oh my. That kind of situation is never easy for a child. That’s one of the reasons I remained single. I didn’t want to put
my child in a situation where she was vulnerable and merely tolerated.”
Bingo!
J.P. thought. That answered his question about her marital status.
“That was probably a good decision. Patrick was shipped back and forth between us until we all got tired of it. I tried to
stay out of it as much as possible, but he’s my son and I didn’t want him to feel like I was abandoning him. Patrick was angry
and hurt that his mother didn’t take his side in the conflicts, but she was still his mother and he loved her. So, when I
suggested that he move in with me, mainly just to show my support, I expected a negative response. Nobody was more surprised
than I was when he asked if he could come right away. It was the middle of a school term and although it was a big adjustment
for both of us, we worked it out and handled it pretty well.”
“So, does his mother and her family live here? Or did he have to move from another city?”
“Yes, they live in Chicago. Patrick went through a lot of changes when he first got here—new city, new school, new home environment,
the whole works. And he was at a pretty susceptible age, so I really had to be there for him, you know, give him a lot of
attention, spend lots of quality time with him, the whole parenting scene. Thank God my family—especially my parents—were
able to pitch in and help. I don’t know what I would have done without them.”
“I’m impressed. I never would have considered you a single parent. Do you ever regret your decision to have him live with
you?”
“Heck no! I wouldn’t do anything differently, even if I could. Many times when people assumed I was out partying or chasing
women, I was actually at home with my son. It’s very gratifying for me to see the well-adjusted young man he’s grown into
and know I helped to influence that process. I wouldn’t trade that for all the tea in China.”
“I do understand,” Jaci said. “I missed out on quite a lot as far as dating and pursuing a lot of dreams are concerned. But
when I look at the woman my daughter, Randi, has become, I almost burst with pride and joy. Sometimes I feel like she was
a little girl one day and then without my realizing how or when it happened, she was all grown up and telling me she wanted
to get married. I often tease her when she walks into a room by asking her who she is and what has she done with my baby.
I don’t have to wonder how she turned out so well. All her life, my constant prayer to God was that He would make up the difference
between my shortcomings as a parent and what she needed. He did that. Although I would have preferred for her to do some things
differently, like waiting a while before marrying and getting her college degree before having a family, all in all, she hasn’t
done badly.”
J.P. was overjoyed with the way the conversation was going. Jaci was relaxed and open and seemed to be enjoying the conversation
as much as he was. “It sounds like you two are still pretty close, even though she’s married and left home. Is her husband
an okay guy?”
“Oh yeah. He treats her well, works hard, faithfully serves the Lord. What more can I ask for in a son-in-law? And of course
my grandson is just the icing on the cake. He’s the sunshine of my life.”
This is good,
J.P. thought. It was going much better than he had hoped. “What about Randi’s father. Does she see him often?” J.P. knew
he was treading on thin ice, but he needed to know. He could have kicked himself when he felt her immediate withdrawal.
“No, she doesn’t,” she answered in a quiet, cool voice, and turned away from him to stare out the window at the passing scenery.
He hurriedly sought to mend the breach. “Obviously, I’ve touched a sensitive issue with you. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.
It’s just that I’m enjoying sharing information about our lives, and I guess I got carried away and went too far, huh?”
Jaci was quiet for a few minutes, then she turned to look at him, her large eyes, now more gray than green, reflecting her
turbulent emotions. “No, I’m sorry. I’m the one who should apologize. I’m pretty touchy on the subject of Randi’s father.
You see, we haven’t seen hide nor hair of him since the night I told him I was pregnant.”
J.P. almost ran off the road as he stared at her in amazement. “What!”
Again, Jaci was quiet for several minutes. Then, drawing a long breath, she said, “I admit I don’t like to talk about him.
He treated me badly and hurt me very deeply. In fact, it took years of struggling—with the shame of having a baby out of wedlock,
against the joy of receiving such a special gift from God—before I could move on. Add to that struggle the common survival
issues of barely making ends meet while raising a child alone and you get a very difficult existence. If it hadn’t been for
my child, I probably would have given up. But with the help of God, we made it.”
J.P. was still trying to deal with the matter of the man who had abandoned her. “But what about her father? Why did he do
that? Did he think the child wasn’t his? Any fool can tell you’re not the type of woman who sleeps around. Do you mind sharing
what happened with me?”
She hesitated. “To be honest, not many know the full story, but no, I don’t mind sharing it with you. Frankly, I don’t know
what his problem was, other than being just plain rotten and no good. That’s one reason it was so hard for me to deal with
it. I still can’t comprehend, even after all this time, why I was foolish enough to fall for someone like that. Yes, I was
young, straight out of college, and straight from the woods, not the country—the backwoods—but I wasn’t dumb or ignorant.
I knew right from wrong. I was still a virgin at that point and planned to remain one until I was married. But I let that
man with his sophisticated ways and smooth talk convince me to ignore good judgment, disregard my carefully laid out goals,
and act in a careless, stupid way.
“So, whatever his problem, I’ve had to accept my own responsibility in everything. I could have said no, and gone on with
my plans, or I could have at least acted more responsibly and insisted on some kind of protection. But I was so . . . overjoyed
that this man was interested in me that I didn’t do one sensible thing, and the consequences I’ve had to live with have made
me very cautious and careful in my dealings with men.”
This explains a lot,
J.P. thought. “I think you’ve been too hard on yourself. I know you believe in God’s forgiveness, don’t you? If He’s willing
to forgive you, don’t you think you should be willing to forgive yourself? And I bet there were some other variables at work
in the scheme of things, too. For instance, you said you were a little in awe that a man like him would notice you. Right?
I’d bet he was a lot older and able to exploit your youth and inexperience. Right?” Jaci nodded yes to both of his conclusions.
“By the way, does he live here or is he in another city?”
“I have no idea where he is. The last I knew, he was still in Dallas. I left there and moved here when Randi was only a few
months old. And yes, you’re right, I did have a hard time forgiving myself, even after I asked for God’s forgiveness. Not
just for having a baby out of wedlock, and not being able to provide for her as I would have liked, but also for so carelessly
tossing away God’s plan for my life. I can’t blame him for that. I was young—he’s more than ten years older than I am, but
like I said, I knew right from wrong.”
“So, tell me, what happened when you told him you were expecting?”
Jaci looked out the window at the cloudless blue sky and in a quiet voice related to him the events of the night she told
Maxie about her pregnancy. She didn’t question why she chose to tell him the story, other than an unexplained connection she
felt to him—maybe because of the time they had spent together, or maybe because she was finding it so easy to talk to him.
Whatever the reason, she wanted to share the sordid details with him. She left nothing out . . . telling him everything, the
defunct divorce papers Maxie had shown her to convince her he was not married, his admission to having a second wife when
she announced her pregnancy, his blaming her and insisting she “take care of it,” his lies that he would be in touch. The
whole sad story spilled out, as the scenery outside the car slid past them.
J.P. felt his gut tightening as anger consumed him.
“If I could get my hands on that poor excuse of a man, I would choke him for the disgraceful way he treated you. I sincerely
hope our paths never cross.”
No wonder she is so cautious,
he thought. She had been callously used, then tossed aside like an unwanted rag doll. She hadn’t deserved that.
He realized they had reached Galveston and wondered where the time had gone. They spent the next few hours with the client,
and J.P. managed to straighten everything out, despite being distracted and in a hurry to finish. Jaci was also less energetic
than usual. Her traumatic revelations had deeply affected them both.
“Are you in a hurry to get back home? If not, let’s take the ferry across the bay,” he suggested when they left the small
building where the company’s offices were housed. He nearly lost his footing when Jaci swiftly agreed. He had expected a right-out
NO, or at least an argument.
“I love this island,” she explained. “It would be sacrilege to come down here and not take a ferry ride and eat seafood.”
J.P. was overjoyed. She had just answered his next question. “Well, why don’t we make an afternoon of it? Let’s browse the
Strand and then go down on the beach. How about it?”
“I’d love it,” she replied.
T
hey spent the afternoon exploring every store on the Strand. Jaci willfully pushed the memories from the past aside, reminding
herself of the promise she had made to never let that episode steal another moment of her life. Poking around in antique and
novelty stores was always a fun and relaxing activity for her. And she remembered from their D.C. trip that, surprisingly,
J.P. could be a lot of fun. He didn’t disappoint her. He got into the spirit of things and wanted to buy everything she picked
up to look at. She couldn’t get him to understand that half the fun was in just looking.
“Let’s go over to the strip. That’s where I usually do all my shopping,” she smilingly confided. They did, and after going
in and out of every shop along the strip, they both had bags filled with all sorts of junk, like T-shirts, sea shells, and
little bottles of sand.
“You want to eat now or head for the ferry?” J.P. asked.
“Let’s eat first, then take the ferry ride,” she said. “That way, we can head home when we get off the boat.”
“Okay. Sounds like a plan and I know the perfect place to eat.”
They enjoyed a delicious seafood meal and talked about all kinds of things, but their liveliest discussion centered around
spiritual beliefs, especially as they related to the single and dating scene. It was amazing how alike they were on basic
values, and how the way they had been raised influenced the kind of parents they had become. Jaci laughingly asked, “Did you
ever find yourself doing or saying something to your child that you swore you would never do when your parents did it to you?”
They laughed harder as each one acknowledged guilt. “Yep. The famous ‘I brought you into this world and I’ll take you out’
flew out a few times. And the one that my son vividly remembers is ‘as long as you’re living under this roof and sticking
your big rusty feet under this table, you’ll do as I say.’ He loves to remind me of that.”
Jaci nodded. “Yeah, I still cringe over that one myself.” After eating, they drove around the small island, admiring the wide
assortment of beautiful cottages dotting the beach. Jaci confessed that she had always wanted to own one of those waterfront
homes.
It was almost twilight when they got behind a long line of cars waiting to board the ferry. There was a relaxed, comfortable
atmosphere in the car that made Jaci gratefully acknowledge what she called one of her “moments”: a rare occurrence in which
she knew there was not another place she would rather be than where she was at that very moment.
They boarded the ferry, then got out of the car, quietly watching the vast waters and enjoying the antics of the seagulls
that hovered low to capture the breadcrumbs passengers threw.
“Oh wow, look at those stars,” Jaci said. “Somehow they always look bigger and brighter when you’re out in the open.” They
stood quietly and watched the stars beginning to twinkle against the darkening sky and the gorgeous full moon striving to
show itself from behind passing clouds, which cast a beautiful reflection upon the sea.
“Yeah. It’s great to see nature at its best and be able to appreciate the beauty of it,” J.P. answered.
Everything was working together to weave a feeling of contentment and peace within her. She had never enjoyed the company
of a man as much as she was enjoying this day with J.P.
I’m having a great time,
she thought,
but considering the fact that I’m probably not the most exciting woman he’s spent time with, hopefully he’s not bored.
She tried to sneak a look at him. Busted! Her eyes collided with his, as he stood there unashamedly looking down at her with
an expression she couldn’t comprehend.
She shivered in reaction to their shared look. Immediately, J.P. stepped behind her, enfolding her in strong arms. “Are you
cold? Do you want to get back in the car?” he asked huskily, running his hands up and down her arms in an attempt to warm
them.