Seasons (22 page)

“No, you guys, everything is fine. I . . . uh . . . J.P. and I need to talk. Ya’ll stay and have a good time. I’ll see ya’ll
later.” She grabbed her purse and went to get her coat while J.P. waited for her at the door. Bob watched as Jaci and J.P.
walked out the door together and shook his head sadly. Playing the field was getting old.

L
inda Adams sat at the table where J.P. and several of his staff had gathered. She had followed J.P. and Jaci into the corridor,
where she covertly watched the heated encounter between them. She came to the dance tonight hopeful that this would be the
night she caught J.P.’s eye. Dressed in red from head to toe, she knew she looked good. She refused invitations from other
men to dance, while smiling invitingly at J.P. to let him know she would welcome his invitation. He ignored her and kept his
eyes focused somewhere across the room. It took her a while to see who he was watching so intently, and when she saw Jaci
Winters on the dance floor, looking beautiful in a short black dress, Linda knew she would have to act quickly. She took the
bull by the horns and asked J.P. to dance with her. She felt about two inches tall when he absently said, “No thanks” and
left the table to walk across the room to where Jaci was sitting.

“I’m sick of that hussy!” Linda said when she sat back down at the table. “And you haven’t done anything to help,” she hissed
at the woman sitting next to her.

“Are you crazy? Linda, I’ve put my job in jeopardy manufacturing stuff to harass her. What else do you expect me to do?”

“Huh! Well it hasn’t been enough,” Linda said with total disregard for the other woman’s concern about her job. “I’m going
to get rid of that little witch, with or without your help.”

J
.P. opened the door and Jaci slid into the car. She watched as he walked around to the driver’s side. When he got in and started
the car, he asked, “How are Randi and her family doing?”

She was tempted to tell him to go to hell. “I should tell you it’s none of your business, but they’re all doing well.” She
noticed a smile playing around his mouth as he worked his way out of the parking lot and into heavy traffic. Jaci fumed. How
dare he laugh at her? She didn’t see anything amusing.

“J.P., you haven’t answered my questions. What is going on? Why are you coming off with this caveman act tonight?”

He merely glanced over and said, “We’ll talk when we get home.” He noticed that when they were alone and amiable, she called
him “Jason” in a way that heated his blood. However, when they were around others, or she was upset with him, he was J.P.
He was feeling a deep need for her to call him Jason again.

Jaci was so distracted she’d hadn’t noticed the direction J.P. had taken. “This is not the way to my house. Where are we going?”

“We’re going to my house so we can talk. Your friends will probably call your house to find out what’s going on. At my house,
we won’t be disturbed.”

“This is ludicrous. I want to go home. What in the world has gotten into you?”

“You’re not going home right now.”

Jaci turned her face away from him, silently fuming.

Thirty minutes later, he pushed the garage door control and pulled the Jaguar in beside the large SUV already parked there.
They entered the house and continued to the large family room. Jaci again admired the beautifully decorated house. Too large
for one person, she thought, but that was his business.

“Okay. Let’s talk, so you can take me home,” she told him as she sat down on the leather sofa placed strategically in front
of the big screen television.

Now that he had her here with him, J.P. didn’t know what to say or where to begin. She wouldn’t understand his need to get
her away from the dance. She was such an innocent about the way she looked and the impact she had on men. Maxie and the other
jerks she had encountered over the years had really done a job of crushing her self-esteem, and in spite of the way she had
picked herself up and moved on, somehow a positive self-image hadn’t made the journey. She thought of herself as unattractive
and unappealing, convinced she lacked whatever it takes to attract a man or to maintain a relationship with him if she did.

But he saw her differently and wanted to be her friend, lover, and protector, shielding her from the wolves seeking to devour
her. But how would he express that to her?

“Jaci, I honestly don’t know where to begin,” he said as he sat down beside her on the couch. “I can understand your puzzlement
over my actions tonight, and truthfully, I’m puzzled myself because this is all out of character for me. You asked a little
while ago if I had lost my mind. Maybe I have, I don’t know.” J.P. cringed; feeling out of control like this was simply not
him. He looked at Jaci with frustration, figuring he may as well be honest—what did he have to lose? “I love you, sweetheart,”
he admitted. “I’ve never felt this way about a woman. Something in me yearns for you, wants to protect you, to be with you.
Frankly, it scares the heck out of me, especially when I consider that you might not feel the same way about me.”

Jaci looked at him incredulously. “Right! What an interesting way you have of showing that love,” she said sarcastically.
“Considering the way you disappeared from my life without a word. You must think I’m Winnie foo foo.”

“I don’t blame you for feeling like that, but please, just hear me out, okay?” He paused to collect his thoughts, knowing
his next words would alter his life one way or another. “Because of my fear, I . . . uh . . . convinced myself that I needed
to back off and sort out my feelings and decide exactly what I wanted. Now I know—that wasn’t the way to handle it. And sweetheart,
I apologize for not communicating to you what was going on with me, and especially about the way I’ve acted tonight.” He reached
out and took her hand, timidly, as if he expected her to snatch it away. He was relieved when she didn’t, but the expression
on her face didn’t offer much encouragement.

“When I saw you tonight and you seemed to be having such a good time dancing with that guy, well . . . I was petrified that
I may have lost you! Here I am an old man dealing with these feelings for the first time in my life. Sooooo! To put it bluntly,
I’m vulnerable when it comes to you, and I can’t tell you how much it scares me.”

He waited for her reaction to his confession, but she sat there quietly, with her head down, saying nothing. He continued.
“And yes, I’m mad. I saw red and lost all rational thought.” He jumped up from the sofa, walked a few paces, and turned to
stare down at her with a frown on his face. “Why were you carrying on like that with that dude? You acted as though you enjoyed
him being all over you. Well I didn’t like it at all! And my only thought was to get you out of there before I did something
stupid like punching him out.”

“You know, you’re making me really nervous,” Jaci finally said, still looking down at the floor. “You sound like a jealous
lunatic. It would be different if we had a settled understanding between us. But you just admitted that you backed off, without
even bothering to let me know what was going on. So what was I supposed to do?” Her green eyes flashed angrily when she finally
looked up at him. “Huh? Did you expect me to sit around all sad and miserable? I don’t think so, J.P. You gave me flashbacks
to what I went through with Maxie. And you already know, I’m never going there again.”

He sat back down beside her groaning loudly and covering his face with his hands. “Oh God, honey. I am so sorry. I didn’t
think. It was never my intention to put you through that. All right, I know I didn’t handle things the way I should have,
and there’s no excuse for it other than confusion and fear. But as far as tonight goes, I admit I’m jealous! And even though
I might be acting like it, I’m not a lunatic. I knew how much you dreaded going to that dance and the only reason I showed
up was to help you get through it. It was like a bucket of cold water had been thrown in my face when I realized I might have
lost you to that dude.

“I know I’ve handled things badly. I guess we should have had this talk a long time ago, but to be honest, I don’t think either
one of us was ready.”

“No, maybe we weren’t,” said Jaci, her brilliant eyes looking directly into his. “But the way you decided to handle it really
hurt me. What makes you think we’re ready now? Has anything changed?”

“Absolutely!” He grabbed her hand again, caressing the soft skin on the back of it. “I know beyond a shadow of doubt that
I love you and want to build a life with you. I can only hope you feel the same about me. I’m so sorry for the deplorable
way I’ve acted, but I can tell you now that it’s a settled issue with me. And if this hadn’t happened tonight, I would have
been on your doorstep very soon. I was coming to you with my heart in my hand and believe me, I wasn’t leaving until everything
was cleared up between us.”

Tears flooded Jaci’s eyes and ran down her face. It took her a minute to answer him. “You keep saying you’re not going anywhere.
But your actions prove differently. You did leave without a word or explanation to me, J.P. That makes me afraid to trust
you.”

“Jaci.” Agony filled his voice and tears filled his eyes.
How could he have been so stupid? So callous in his treatment of her?
“Sweetheart, I realize I hurt you, but I love you with all my heart. Please forgive me. We have something good. Don’t throw
it away because I gave in to my doubts and fears. And if you must know, I was in hell the whole time I was away from you.
I know you might have a hard time believing me, but I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you how much you mean
to me. I’m not like Maxie, sweetheart. Nothing like him. Please, honey, give me—give us—another chance.”

J
aci was stunned. Anger, attack, argument were what she’d expected. Not this heartrending confession. She didn’t know how to
respond since she had planned to let her own anger sustain her in the confrontation. But he had destroyed that with his softly
spoken plea. She looked at him, trying to gauge his sincerity, and found him looking at her in that special way he had. It
was a look that said she was the most precious thing he had ever seen.

For reasons she couldn’t explain, more tears filled her eyes and flowed down her cheeks. When J.P. asked her why she was crying,
she couldn’t answer him, just shook her head and let the tears flow. She had given much thought to their powerful physical
attraction and to the possibility of a serious relationship between them, and she had prayed for God’s wisdom and guidance.

J.P. moved closer to her and pulled her into his arms. “You’re making me cry, too, and you know men aren’t supposed to cry!”
he joked nervously. “I know we’ve got a lot of issues but I would really like for us to settle some things between us tonight.”

Jaci cried harder. Because even if she had wanted to, she couldn’t have said no. “All right,” she said brokenly.

Relief filled him and caused more tears to fall. He tightened his embrace and kissed her.

“As much as I enjoy it, I didn’t bring you over here for this,” J.P. said as he pulled back.

His heart broke into pieces when she moved away from him and said in a quiet voice, “I think I love you too, Jason, and that’s
not an easy thing for me to say.” Looking deeply into his eyes, she continued. “I have to tell you, admitting it makes me
feel like I’m sitting in a canoe without oars in the middle of the ocean.”

He chuckled. “Wow! Sweetheart, I can definitely relate to your illustration. Just remember I’m there too. At least if we drown,
we’ll do it together.” He pulled her back into his arms and kissed her deeply.

Between kisses he said, “Jaci, you’ve torn down all my defenses. Everything I am is yours. I will never intentionally hurt
you again. Now, I’m realistic enough to know we’re going to fuss and fight like all get out. But as long as we keep loving
each other and talking through our differences, we’ll make it. That’s what I want with you, Jaci. Life with all its ups and
downs. What do you say? Do we begin building a life together?”

Jaci’s eyes filled with tears again and it took a minute to get herself together to speak. She drew a deep breath. “Okay,
but just know this. You pull something like this again—leaving me hanging without a word, or trying that caveman act like
you did tonight, and I’m going to do some damage to vital parts of your body. I mean that, mister!” Her eyes and the tone
of her voice told him she meant every word. He nodded, but before he could say anything she continued, whispering brokenly,
“I’ve missed you so much.”

The pieces of his heart cracked even more and tears ran down his face. “I’m so sorry for putting you through that.” He pulled
her close and again their tears mingled as he kissed her tenderly. The kisses grew in intensity and Jaci moved away from him
again.

“Stay where you are,” she said, pointing to the other end of the sofa. “We need to talk this through. Tell me, what made you
feel so threatened about us that you ran away like that?”

With shame in his eyes, he answered, “Well, believe it or not, I let Ron, Walt, and a couple more of my buddies get to me.
They came over here one night, and well . . . by the time they left, I was questioning my sanity. Before then, I was convinced
that what we have is exactly what I want. But when those guys finished with me, I was totally confused.”

“Jason,” she looked directly into his eyes. “I’ve heard everything you’ve said tonight, and I know you believe you meant it.
But if you can be influenced by your brother or anyone else to the point where you question your own feelings, then maybe
you need to do some real soul-searching before you make any kind of promises or commitments tonight.”

He moved over to her again and cupped the side of her face in his large hand. “Baby, what do you think I’ve been doing? I’ve
been having some serious talks with the Lord and with my pastor. I’ve never prayed like I’ve been praying the last few weeks.
I know . . . have known all along what I wanted. I just let the devil get me off track.”