Second (13 page)

Chapter Twenty Three

When I wake up feeling rested and it’s still night-time, I know I’ve already messed up my sleeping schedule. I force myself back to sleep, and the next time I wake up it’s to Dean playing his guitar and singing softly to a new song.

“Morning,” I say, getting out of bed and walking over to him.

“Morning,” he says, smiling and putting his guitar down. He pulls me onto his lap, smiling up at me. “Hungry?”

I nod. “You don’t have to stop playing though. What was that song?”

“You want to hear it?” he asks, kissing my forehead.

“Of course I do.”

I hop off his lap and sit next to him as he picks his guitar back up and starts to play.

This song.

My eyes widen as he sings the first verse, and I just know that this song is about me.

She’s always been my dream.

My secret sin.

I fought with myself, but now the war is over.

I fell in love with the impossible, I hope reality never sets in.

Because right now, in this moment, next to her, I win.

When he finishes, I clear my throat, feeling emotional.

“Dean--”

“The words have never flowed so easily,” he says, placing the instrument back down and kissing my lips. “They say missing someone is the best thing for a writer, but I think that nothing is better than being with you.”

I don’t know what to reply with to that, because nothing can beat those words, so I just kiss him, sinking my body into his.

When he pulls away, he smiles at me, and says, “Come on, let’s go eat.”

I don’t know how I’m meant to eat after that. I just want to listen to him play over and over again, soak up every moment of it.

We head downstairs and I take the time to look around his house. It really is beautiful. Whoever decorated it did an amazing job.

“I love it,” I tell him, staring at the pictures on the wall. “Your home is beautiful, Dean.”

“Glad you think so,” he says, studying me.

We walk hand in hand to the kitchen. As he starts to make breakfast, I wonder if he feels lonely in this big house all alone sometimes. Or maybe he’s hardly home, who knows? He does live a busy life. Maybe he’s usually not here alone. I cringe at that part. He said he’s never had anyone else on his bed though, so that’s probably not the case, and I’m just being a little paranoid. I know he won’t lie to me, I trust him. Still, he’s known for being quite the ladies’ man.

“How have you had no other woman in your bed?” I blurt out, unable to help myself. “You’re a good man, Dean. The best. But you’re no saint.”

He lifts his head to look at me, watching me silently for a few moments. “You want the truth?”

I swallow, then nod.

Yes, always the truth.

“I’ve dated a lot of women over the years, yes,” he admits, taking a deep breath. “I couldn’t have you, Sabina. And it killed me. I needed distractions, and I wanted to meet someone that I could love. Someone that could be mine.”

It kills
me
to hear those words from him, but I do understand.

“But you didn’t.”

Luckily for me, I suppose, but I didn’t want him to be unhappy these past few years.

“No, I didn’t,” he says, eyes softening. “Nothing and no one ever compared to you.”

“And no one in your bed?” I probe further. Something hits me then, “Wait, how new is the bed?”

He throws his head back and laughs, “It’s about a year old.”

I still.

A year?

“Hey, Dean?”

“Yes, Sabina,” he says, watching me.

“Do you believe in fate?” I ask, using the words he said to me on my wedding day.

He cups my face and rests his forehead against mine. “Yes, I do.”

“Me too,” I whisper, closing my eyes as he kisses me.

We both eat the omelette and toast and then Dean asks me what I want to do today.

“Have a lazy morning and then drive around and see LA?” I suggest.

“Do you want to go out for dinner or something?”

“Sounds good,” I say, smiling.

I don’t care what we do, as long as I’m with him.

He shows me the rest of the house, and outside where he has a beautiful pool and deck, and then I have a quick shower and get dressed.

Then I hop back into bed, making him laugh.

*****

The next night, Dean takes me to his performance. I wait backstage while he sings on a popular TV talk show, then does a little interview. When the host asks him if he’s dating someone, he says, “I am most definitely taken.”

Most definitely.

I smile as I hear those words, even as the crowd all says a collective
awwww
.

When he’s done, he comes straight to me and I’m back in his arms. “What did you think?”

“You were amazing,” I say, smiling at him proudly.

“It’s so different. It makes everything more exciting, knowing I have you here with me, Sabina. It’s like everything finally makes sense, all the puzzle pieces fit now.”

I rest my head on his chest and close my eyes. “Those words should go in a song.”

He chuckles, then kisses the top of my head.

How am I meant to leave him again?

We head back to his house, where the chef cooks us a delicious dinner. I can see why he keeps him around, his food is amazing.

While Dean’s life is so different to mine, he’s still the same in any environment, and I like that. Even though this isn’t my lifestyle, I still feel comfortable because he makes me that way. I don’t think it matters what situation I’m in, as long as it’s with him.

He is where I’m meant to be.

Dean is my home.

Who said home had to be a place?

*****

A few days later, I’ve decided that I love everything about LA. After seeing sights, exploring the city, and eating out at all the different spots, I never want to leave. I read a book on the couch while Dean works on his music; he’s writing down lyrics and playing his guitar, a new song in the making. I can’t help but watch, mesmerized by the process.

He lifts his head and grins when he catches me watching. “Pretending to read?”

“I like watching you when you’re in your element,” I say, shrugging unapologetically.

He smiles softly then returns to playing.

I’m about to read the next sentence when he says, “You should just stay here, Sabina.”

My head snaps to him. “What?”

“There’s nothing holding you back, you should just move in with me here. I’ll fly Tara here to visit you whenever you want. You’ll be so happy here.”

He wants me to move in with him?

Wouldn’t that be the ultimate gamble? I’d be putting all my trust, hopes, and dreams into something that is so new. I’ve done that before, and look how that turned out. But Dean is not his cousin.

“Dean—”

“Don’t think about what you should do, just think about what you want, Sabina. If you don’t want to work you don’t have to, if you want to, and knowing you, you will, we can find you a new job doing whatever you want to. It’s only hard if we make it. I want you here. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life than right now. And fuck, I don’t want you to leave. I want to come home to you every day, and wake up to you every morning.”

The long distance thing sucks, and I know after this we aren’t going to be so lucky. Who knows when we will see each other next? Seeing Dean in his house…. He loves it here. And I can see why.

“I don’t know, Dean,” I say, licking my lips. “Are you sure this is what
you
want? I don’t want to rush things.”

Like I did last time.

“We live in different countries,” he says, putting his guitar down and coming to sit next to me. “I love you. And I want you with me. To me, it’s that simple. Will you think about it?”

I nod. “Okay.”

“Good girl,” he whispers, pressing his lips to my cheek. “Make me the happiest man alive, Sabina. Come on, it will be an adventure.”

I smile.

I do love a good adventure.

The next day however, reality hits me. “I can’t just stay here, Dean. I have to go home and sort out my house, my job, my life.”

I can’t just go somewhere on a holiday for a week and then not return. That’s pretty much abandoning the life I’ve created for myself. But what if this is where I’m meant to be? I can’t remember being so happy. Will that happiness fade though? I suppose I could always go back if it did. I’ll miss my best friend like crazy though. Will she move here too? Great, now I’m dragging her into my craziness.

“Tara will sort your stuff; we’ll put everything in storage until we return. Message your boss and tell her you quit,” he says, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles.

Quit my job? What will I do here for work though? I’m sure there are lots of different things I could do, I could always try to get a job at a bank here. But it’s just such a big move, such a big change.

“I can’t,” I say, shaking my head.

It’s crazy… isn’t it?

It’s so risky.

What if it doesn’t work out?

What if it does?

I don’t want to always wonder what if, but the truth is I also don’t want to be one of those women who just changes her life for a man. I want to do this because I want to, not because he wants me to, if that makes sense.

I turn my head to look at him. He’s so good to me. It’s not like I’ve only just met this man. I
know
him. I know his mind, his heart. I’d be stupid to let what we have go, based on fears that have a lot to do with Ben, and also me wanting to remain independent and in control.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I should probably tell him the truth about how I’m feeling. “I love you, Dean.”

In a second, he’s rolled over with me under him. “What did you just say?”

I open my eyes and smile. “I said that I love you.”

Gazes locked, we wait like that in silence for a few moments. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to hear those words from your lips?”

I shake my head.

“Longer than I’d ever admit,” he says, lip twitching. “You know what this means, right?”

“What?”

“That you’re staying.”

That’s not what it means at all. It means that I’ve finally admitted to myself what’s been the truth all along, and that’s that we belong together.

Ben might have been my first love, but Dean is my forever love. He made me believe in love again, and that’s an accomplishment in itself, because I didn’t think it was possible, when actually he was right in front of me the entire time.

He’s my forever.

Still, I roll my eyes. “I’m not just going to stay here, Dean.”

There’s no way.

Epilogue

One Year Later.

I still haven’t gone home.

Tara’s been out to visit me twice so far, and she brought more of my stuff with her. I’m so thankful for her, I don’t know how I’d have pulled off this last-minute move to a different country without her. I kept telling myself I’d just stay for a little bit more, and I never ended up leaving. I didn’t want to. I couldn’t make myself. And eventually I accepted the fact that Dean was right, this is where I’m meant to be. With him. He couldn’t be happier, and even after a year, neither can I.

Staying was the right choice.

The best I ever made.

I followed my heart instead of my head, and it led me right to where I should be. I never thought I’d be so lucky. I started working at a bank here, but when people found out I was dating Dean, and they turned up to take photos of me, I had to quit. I started my own accounting business where I do tax and financial advice for high-profile clients. I know I don’t have to work, but I want to. I don’t want a man to take care of me, no matter how much money he has in the bank. My life has changed a lot though because now I have to wear a hat and sunglasses when I go out, too.

Kate wasn’t happy about Dean and me being together. She did an interview about it, and pretty much said how awful I am in it, but I don’t care what she thinks. Dean no longer talks to her, but we both continue to support Luke. I sent him the life insurance money. I hope it sets him up, even though it doesn’t make up for not having his dad with him, at least it’s something that his mother won’t have to worry about money. Speaking of mothers, Dean’s accepted me, as did the rest of his family. It feels good to have such a wonderful mother-in-law this time around.

We’re outside by the pool, relaxing in the sun, when I see Dean come up next to me. When I open my eyes, he’s on one knee, a diamond ring in his hand.

“Sabina, will you marry me?”

I sit up, my eyes wider than they’ve ever been. “Holy shit.”

“Is that a yes?” he asks, eyes soft on me. “I love you so much, I never thought I’d find a love like this. Spend the rest of your life with me.”

Just when I thought I couldn’t get any happier. I remember wondering if I could handle Dean’s lifestyle, with all the attention and the lack of freedom, but it comes with him, and it’s never been an issue. He gives me everything I need, and I wouldn’t change anything for the world. I’m so blessed, and I know it, there is nothing in life that I could possibly complain about.

So many people don’t get to be with the person they love, for many different reasons. They will never get to experience this feeling; I’m one of the lucky ones. And I’ll never forget that.

“Yes,” I say, getting emotional and tearing up as he slides the ring on my finger.

The ring is stunning. A little over the top, but I’ve learnt to stop complaining and pointing that out, and just accept the fact that Dean is a very generous man. It makes him happy to be able to spoil me. And I do the same to him in return.

The pear-shaped diamond ring fits perfectly, just like the two of us do.

If I had to give anyone advice, I’d tell them to be open. Take a chance. Love is worth it.

Love is
so
worth it.

Releasing September 27
th

SEE NO EVIL

Bad boys have never been my thing. I’ve seen firsthand the kind of devastation they can cause. That’s why I go for safe. Predictable. Guys who will take whatever I’m willing to give. That way, I always have the upper hand, ensuring that my heart remains unscathed.

There is only one problem. None of those men have ever made my heart beat faster, or made me feel out of control.

That is, until him.

I live by one rule. Treat others the same way they treat me. So, if Sylar treats me as though I’m his world, does it matter that technically he is not a good man? He’s good to me. He’s good for me.

At least that’s what I’m gambling on.

With the one thing I swore I’d never risk.

My heart.

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