Second Chance (12 page)

She looks at my dazed expression
and asks me if I’m alright
.
 

I nod, slowly
,
and decide it’s time to confess
.
“Okay, the truth is,
one of the players
on the team just happens to be
my
soulmate
and future husband
.”

She sets her cup
down and grins at me
.
“Which one?”

“Gray
,” I say
.
“
Gray Thomas
.
He’s
the love of my life
and we’re going to get married so
meday
.
When the timing’s right,
”
I inform her
.
I pour more
hot
water into my teacup.

Her eyebrows
arch with surprise
.
“
S
o you like the bad boys?”

“What?” I ask
.
Gray’s sarcastic and cynical and a little brooding but—

“
You didn’t know he’s on probation?”

I shake my head
and ask her what she’s talking about
.

“
Before I left the States
,
I heard
he
had some drug issues
.
A few weeks ago h
e
threw an entire game
high
.
He almost got kicked off the team.
”
She smiles like she’s impressed
.

I
frown
as this news sets in
.
My
perfect
, sexy
Gray
is
on probation for a being a stoner
?

“You didn’t know any of that
was happening
?” she asks, “and he’s
‘
the love of
your life?
’
”

“We haven’t spoken in a few months,” I admit
.
For the first time, I f
eel a pang of regret
in my chest
.
It sink
s
in how much of G
ray’s life I’m missing out on
.
It’s easy to be far away from the people
you love when you think everyone’s happy
.
But when you find out someone needs you
and you can’t be there,
it makes
the
distance
grow claws and teeth and start to gnaw at your heart.

Cat
looks
intrigued
.
“
What I want to know is
,
if he’s
your
soul
mate
, what are you doing backpacking
alone
in Switzerland?”

I
rip off a corner of the toast and chew on it
.
“What do you mean?”

“Why aren’t you together?” she presses
.
“C
all me a
hopeless
romantic, but
I think
love’s everything
.
It’s up there with food and water and shelter
and oxygen
.
I think you need it in order to survive
.
So i
f
you’re lucky
enough
to find
love,
w
hy are you passing it up?”

I stare back at her as she talks about love like it’s
a
buried treasure, like it’s something you need to go on an
archeological
dig
to uncover
.
I believe it’s
in
endless
supply
.
It’s everywhere if you tap into it
.

“
I’m not
passing it up
.
I just don’t want
to settle down right now
.
I’m only
eighteen
years old
.
Besides,
I think
you
can
bring love with you
wherever you go,” I say
.
“
Love can wait for you.”

She thinks about this
for a few seconds
.
I watch her piecing my
words
together, like my refreshing wisdom is all starting to make sense.

“
That makes absolutely no sense,
”
she
says
.
“
Do you know
how
ridiculous
you sound
?”

My
forehead crease
s
.

“
If you’re in love with s
omeone, you should be
with
him
,” Cat
presses
.
“
Or give
him
up
.
You can’t have it both ways.
”
 

“
Gray’s okay with this
,” I argue
.
“
He
gets
me
.
He knows I want to travel
.
W
e agreed to see each other when it works out
, but we promised never to hold each other back
.
”

She
raises her eyebrows
.
“
Are you sure about tha
t
?
I
t’s one thing to go to Europe for a few weeks, but you can’t just leave for six months whenever you feel like it, and have him be okay with it
.
It’s not fair to him.
”  She registers
th
e surprise on my face and
raises
her hands
.
“Sorry
.
I know it’s none of
my business. I can be a little opinionated.”

I shake my head
.
“It’s okay.”  Then an idea occurs to me
.
“Maybe my future self entered your body to give me crucial
advice I need
to hear
in order
to lead me down the right path
.
”

Cat
ignores
me
.
“Listen, Dylan, you’re awesome
.
I figured that out in about two seconds
.
But I’ve tried dating people like you, musicians that breeze through town
.
They’re
so easy to fall for because
they’re unique and inspiring, b
ut it gets old really fast because you can never depend on
those
people.”

I set my hands down on the table and look at her like she’s giving me an ultimatum
.
“So
,
you’re saying
I
should break up
with him
?”

She laughs at my question
.
“What do you mean, break up?
What’s there to break up
?
You’re not even in a relationship
.
You haven’t spoken to each other in months
.
You call that a relationship?”

I look down at my plate as her words sink in.

“
I think you need to
figure out what’s more important to you, freedom, or
Gray
,
”
she says.

***

Later that afternoon, I head downtown with my
camera
.
My head and heart are sore from the honesty beating I took from Catherine and I need some air
.
I love the escape of getting outside and taking pictures
.
It helps me get out of my head and focus on things outside of me
.
One side of the street is crammed with hotels and peop
le eating at outdoor
restaurants
.
O
n the other side is a small city park that dissolves into an open green field with the view of the Alps towering in the distance.