Second Chance (68 page)

She holds
the envelope
between us and I feel like so much of my life is
folded
up inside
t
hat stupid piece of paper
.
S
he’s holding a slice of my heart there, a secret, a story
.
The greatest story I’ve ever experienced
.
I don’t want to read it
.
I want to burn it
.
But, I grab it out of her hand
.

“Thanks,” I say
.
Lenny watches me
shove it in my
back
pocket.

“
Aren’t you going to read
it?” she asks
.

I shrug and open my car door
.

“I
t
might
give you some closure,
”
she says
.

I
smirk
.
Closure
.
Tha
t’s probably the most unrealistic
word in the
English
vocabulary
.
It’s up there with heartbreak
,
pain
,
loss
,
and
abandonment
,
all these things that you’re supposed to get over and mend and heal but really, do you ever get over
those moments
?

Do you ever forget your first love
?
S
o much stems from there
,
and your li
f
e will always be
connected
back to that
person
.
The faintest trail of memories will always be there, like a map scarred into your mind.

I tell Lenny
goodbye,
get into my car
,
and start the engine
.
I slide a mix I made for the drive
into the stereo
.
As I merge on the freeway,
the
envelope
feels
like a
rock
in my
back pocket
, so
I pull it out
.
I roll down my window and I’m about to fling it out, but I stop
.
I tear through the paper and open up the folded note
. T
here are only a few
sentences
written in her s
loppy writing that I swear look
s
tear-stained
and i
t makes my heart pinch in my chest to see it
.
I glance down quickly and read the writing as fast as I can to get it over with
.

Dear Gray,

I understand
.
You were right
.
I need to keep moving
.
Thank you
for loving me enough
to help me realize it
.
You’ll always make me shine
.
 

I hope you find your constant sun.
Love always,

Dylan

I take a deep breath
and hold the letter between my fingers
.
Dylan will always be this butterfly in my eyes
.
Something beautiful I held
long enough to be spellbound with what exists in the world
.
But the problem with butterflies is they flutter off, and you spend the rest of your time running and jumping after them and making an idiot out of yourself trying to catch them, only to come up empty handed and looking like a fool in the process
.
T
he point of it all is, they aren’t meant to be caught
, and y
ou
would
feel guilty trying to contain them
.
They’ll wither in your hands and suddenly you
realize
they’re beautiful because they’re free
.
They’re meant to be wild
.
Unattainable
.
Like they belong in a fairytale
.

I stare
out
at the sunny horizon
.
And I’m surprised because
I’m waiting for tears or pain in my chest but, instead, something heavy is lifting
.
I
t isn’t quite closure, but Lenny was right, I do feel better
.
I’m relieved Dylan understood so quickly
.
That she forgives me
.
I
n a way, this sets me free
.
So I
throw
the
white
piece of paper out of my car window and
it sails like a bird into the wind
.

I
n the very back of my mind, there’s a tiny s
liver
of hope
.
Maybe we’ll meet again someday
.
Maybe Dylan’s been right all along
.
We can’t force it
.
We need to leave this one to fate
.

I
turn up my
stereo
to Bob Dylan singing
,
Don’t Think Twice
.
The lyrics sum up my life
.
Like magic
.
The harmonica
wails and
I focus
my eyes
ahead and set my destination on the
horizon
,
and, always, on the forever glowing desert sun
.

Readers:

Do you want Gray and Dylan’s story to continue? Well good news, there’s more to come!

Be sure to read the first book in the series,
First Comes Love
, and keep your eye out for the third and final book in the Gray and Dylan saga
, titled
Finally, Forever
.
R
elease date information will be posted on Katie’s website.
www.katiekacvinsky.com

Acknowledgements:

Thanks to my agent, Helen
Breitwieser
. You are my compass. Thanks for loving this book and helping to steer it into publication. Thanks to my amazing content editor (and sister), Sarah
Moeser
.
I had a blast working with you on this manuscript. When we weren’t exchanging movie and music recommendations (or obsessing over how much we both loved
Magic Mike
), we were talking about
Second Chance
. Thanks to Jennie
Bartlemay
for being a copy editing wizard (yes, she is seriously part wizard). I also need to thank Julia Richardson, my editor from Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. She read this manuscript and made some wonderful suggestions that helped shape the story. Thanks to Graham for getting me outside every day, to Kaleb for reminding me what is most important, and to Adam, for making this all possible.