Second Chance at the Sugar Shack (21 page)

She gave the wire a final twist. “And you feel totally secure with your masculinity.”

“Absofuckinglutely.”

“Do you have someone upstairs?” she blurted out, then cringed at her less than composed delivery.

His hesitation raised the hair on the back of her neck. Her chest tightened.

“No,” he finally admitted.

Kate had to catch herself when relief pushed from her lungs. At that moment, her thumbs dislodged the cork. It rocketed from the bottle and bounced off the ceiling. She winced. “Oops.”

He didn’t bother to look up and check for damage. Instead his eyes remained glued on her, on every move she made, on every breath she took. She filled the two glasses and handed one to him on her way into the living room. “Pretend it’s Budweiser.”

He stood in the kitchen a minute, obviously contemplating his choices. Then she heard a manly sigh. Or was that an exasperated groan?

She gave the pup a stroke between his ears before she plopped down on a studded leather armchair next to the fireplace. The heat radiated and made her feel warm and toasty. Matt kept his distance by sitting across from her on the sofa. He grabbed a woolen print pillow and tucked it in his lap as though it would protect him. From her.

Or maybe he was hiding something.

She could only hope.

“You name that dog yet?” he asked in a gruff tone.

“He’s not mine to name.”

“How long has he
not
been yours?”

“Ummmm, a while?”

“Yeah. He’s yours.”

Had he been conspiring with her mother? “There’s no way I can keep him. I live in a condo in L.A. and I sublet an apartment in Manhattan. I’m never home. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“Since when is life fair?”

The innuendo couldn’t be more clear. Ignoring the squeak in the leather, she eased forward in the chair and sipped her champagne. The fire snapped and crackled while she worked up the courage to ask the question he’d dodged the other night. When she found it, she looked him square in the eye. “I need to know, Matt.”

The firelight reflected in his pale blue eyes as he watched her from across the room.

“The truth,” she said quietly, “About what you were going to ask me before I left.”

“So the desserts and the champagne were all a setup?”

“No. I genuinely wanted to thank you.” She set her glass down on a sandstone coaster. “And I genuinely wanted your opinion. But I also want to know what you were going to ask.”

“Why rehash what you already know? Hell, that’s why you ran, isn’t it? And do
not
try to tell me you just found out.”

The pained expression on his face made her stomach queasy. “I just found out.”

“Bullshit.”

She slowly shook her head. “The truth, Matt. Please.”

“Why does it matter?”

“It just does.”

He stared into her eyes before he answered. His chest lifted on a sharp intake of air. “Yes. I wanted to marry you. Yes. I asked for your parents’ permission. Yes. I bought a ring.”

An ache twisted her heart as she pictured in her mind how he must have felt the day he’d discovered her gone. She pictured all the passion she’d missed from this man who had so much to give. A man who would do anything to protect the ones he loved. Who would even protect her from embarrassing herself when she did stupid things. Matt Ryan was a man who would be a friend and lover like she’d never known. Who would have laughed with her. Cried with her. And trusted her with his heart.

She hadn’t appreciated that when she’d been a young inexperienced girl, but as a woman she appreciated that a man like him was priceless.

“We were only kids, Matt.” she said, trying in vain to keep the tremble from her voice.

“I’d been legal to buy alcohol for over a year. Hardly a kid.” He shot from the sofa and stormed to the big window overlooking the lake. He turned his back to her and downed his glass of champagne. “You don’t get it, do you?”

The tension in his shoulders gave away what his quiet words did not. And there was no way she would force him to say the words that were obviously too painful for him to speak.

I loved you.

She went to him. “I didn’t leave town because I heard you wanted to marry me. I honestly had no idea until the other day.” She stood behind him, inhaling that fresh-from-the-shower manly clean. Their reflections looked back from the glass. She regretted her actions a decade ago. She’d hurt more of those she cared about than she even knew.

Her heart gave a painful twist. “I was selfish. I’d been waiting and waiting for that scholarship. When it finally arrived, I’d expected everyone to be excited for me. But they weren’t. At least my mother wasn’t. We had a horrible argument. Just . . . horrible.” She shook her head to rid herself of the sorrow that night had left deep in her soul. “And I regret the awful things that were said that night.”

“What was said, Kate?” He didn’t turn. Didn’t look at her. “What was so horrible that you would leave without a word to anyone who cared about you?”

The words her mother had screamed that night meant nothing now. She knew what was in her mother’s heart. But Matt needed to know. For them to move forward with any kind of relationship, even just a friendship, she needed him to let go of the terrible way they’d parted.

“We argued for hours,” she explained. My dad tried to stop us but my mother wouldn’t let it go until she’d had the last word. Things escalated to name calling and she told me . . . I was a worthless dreamer who’d never amount to anything.”

He looked at her over his shoulder and the understanding in his eyes nearly brought her to her knees.

“She should never have said that.”

She shrugged. “She got the last word after all.”

“You must have been devastated.”

She glanced down at the floor and shook her head. “Beyond. I was young. Vulnerable. And I couldn’t believe the one person I thought I could trust most would think so little of me.”

“I’m sorry for what she said.”

“Not your apology to make, Matt. But now you know why I left the way I did, without a word to anyone. So no one would stop me. I left because I needed to discover who I was. Not who I was in comparison to Dean or Kelly or who my mother thought I should be.” She filled her lungs with air and let it out slowly. “I should have said good-bye. It breaks my heart that . . . all these years you thought I left because of you.”

He shrugged one broad shoulder. “It happened a long time ago. No big deal.”

“It’s a big deal to me.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against the back of his soft flannel shirt. A skitter of nerves rippled down his back and fluttered against her cheek. “I’m not what you think I am, Matt. I’m not who you think I am.”

He turned and her hands slid to his arms. He looked down into her eyes and she felt his gaze warm her soul.

“Then who are you, Kate?”

It was then she knew she had to stop fooling herself.

I’m a woman who could very easily fall in love with you.

“I would never have left without saying good-bye had I known how you felt,” she said. “Never.”

“I told you.”

She shook her head, ran her hand up his arm to cup the back of his head. Her fingers curled in his short dark hair. “If you had, I might have stayed.”

She drew his head down and whispered against his mouth. “Give me a reason to stay now.”

C
HAPTER
F
OURTEEN

H
er sweet warm breath swept across his mouth and Matt knew he did not have the power to push her away.

He’d loved her for as long as he could remember. The stubborn girl who’d never cry uncle. The thoughtful girl who worked hard to help her community. The tender-hearted girl who’d find homes for lost pets.

The woman in his arms was the same.

The knowledge that she hadn’t run because of him opened up his soul and he was willing to let her in.
This
was what he’d wanted for so long. For her to come to him. To want him as much as he wanted her.

Her free hand wandered between the open buttons on his shirt and the touch of her cool fingers against his bare flesh lit him on fire. Her lips brushed his while her fingertips traced lazy circles across his chest.

Passion raged through him but he didn’t just want a good time between the sheets. He wanted more. He wanted to hold her and kiss her and take his time loving her.

“Forgive me?” A little moan rumbled in her chest and she pressed herself against him. “Please, Matt. I promise I’ll make things right.”

She looked up at him with that familiar pleading in her eyes.
Please kiss me, Matt. Please touch me. Please love me.

Had she forgotten those were the same words she’d said to him years ago—the night he’d made love to her that first time? Had she forgotten how potent the word
please
became when she used it in conjunction with his name?

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Kate.”

She looked deep into his eyes. “I won’t.”

He slipped his hands beneath her worn leather coat, slid it from her shoulders, and tossed it on a nearby chair. Then he took her by the hand and led her up the stairs to his bedroom.

That morning he hadn’t bothered to toss his dirty uniform in the hamper or straighten his sheets. Tonight he didn’t care. Because right now, all he could think about was getting her into his bed, wrapping himself around her and holding her close.

The curtains over the French doors were open and muted moonlight shone through the glass. Fat glistening snowflakes had begun to fall and gather on the rail of the deck outside the doors. He didn’t turn on a light. He’d seen Kate’s beautiful body in the stark overhead fluorescents at the bakery. Tonight he wanted to see her bathed in nature’s light. Just as he’d seen her that long ago night and so many times in his dreams.

Drawing her against him, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her with passion and hope, tenderness and pleasure. He craved her body and wanted to touch her soul. He wanted to feed his hunger for her and bury himself in all that he remembered she could be, in all they had once been together.

“Tell me what you want, Kate.”

“I want you,” she said, handing him the words he’d waited ten years to hear. She leaned into him, rose to her toes and in a husky, needful voice whispered across his lips. “All of you. I want to kiss you all over.”

Lost in her sweet beckoning scent and the need surging through his blood, he slid his fingers into her silky hair and moved his mouth down the graceful column of her neck. “Me first.”

Her head dropped back, allowing him access and he gently sucked the flesh at the curve of her throat. Her pulse throbbed beneath his tongue and he slid his hand beneath her velvety sweater. His fingertips tingled to life when they met her warm skin. He unbuttoned her top and tossed it aside as he stood there, looking at her bathed in moonlight in a light blue bra that lifted her breasts and formed perfect mounds above the lace edge. His thumb traced slow erotic circles across the satiny material and her nipple pebbled beneath his touch. Then he undid the front clasp and eased the straps down her arms.

Her silky hair fell across her bare shoulders and tickled the crests of her plump breasts. “So beautiful,” he murmured as he trailed his fingers slowly down the smooth skin between those perfect peaks. His body pulsed, his erection throbbed. He lowered his head, sucked a rosy tip into his mouth, and circled it with his tongue. Her throaty moan shuddered through him.

She arched against him. When what he really wanted was to strip her of the rest of her clothes and plunge himself into her hot, slick body, he forced his hands to be gentle as they slid down her curves. He knelt before her, removed her boots and unzipped her jeans. Then he slid the fabric down her legs until she stood before him in nothing but tiny blue panties. He drew her against him and pressed his mouth against the little lace triangle that kept him from what he wanted.

He could feel her moist heat through the thin fabric.

She wanted him too.

The knowledge turned him on more than anything he could remember. As his tongue licked and teased along the outline of the lace, his hands slid up the backs of her silky thighs. He tucked his fingers into the elastic and drew the fabric down her legs. Then gently grasping her firm behind, he brought her to his mouth. He pressed his lips to the apex of her thighs and swept his tongue between the parted folds of her flesh.

“Oh!” Her head dropped back, her knees buckled, and he grasped her behind to hold her in place.

Slowly, methodically, and hungrily, he alternated loving her as though he had all day and as though he had only seconds. She gripped his hair in her hands. A shudder rippled through her body and she cried out, “Oh. God. Matt.”

He stayed with her until she let go a deep, satisfied moan and slumped against him. He smiled as he kissed his way up her belly to her mouth.

Between hot, feeding kisses, his name broke from her lips on a sigh. “Matt. I need you inside me.” She pushed away his shirt and reached for the button on his jeans. “Right now.”

Tangled up with powerful feelings of possessiveness and tenderness, hope and desire, his good intentions snapped. She pushed the denim and his boxer-briefs down his legs. He’d barely kicked away the material trapping his ankles before she took his hard length into her hand. He closed his eyes and a low groan of pleasure rushed from his throat as her grip tightened around him.

Deep in his chest his heart raced and he knew he could come just like that with her hand curled around him. But that wasn’t what he wanted.

“And I need you,” he said with a low growl. “Right now.” He reached for her hands and wrapped them around his neck. He lifted her onto the bed and followed her down. Then he kissed her. Nibbled at her. Drew her lower lip into his mouth and deepened the kiss with unyielding broad sweeps of his tongue. She responded with eager hands pulling him closer, racing down his sides to his butt. His knee nudged her legs apart and he poised himself intimately against her heat. She arched against him.

When he covered her with his body, she gasped. He buried his face in her neck, breathed in her sugar cookie scent, and basked in the reeling awareness floating through his head.

“Love me, Matt. Please. Please. Please. Love me now.”

“Let me in,” he whispered but thought
I’ll love you always
.

She opened her legs while he rolled on a condom. When he slid into her, she completely gave herself up to him and the giant ache in his heart disappeared.

T
he clock struck midnight as Kate straddled Matt’s lean hips and fed him another bite of amaretto chocolate swirl fudge. Neither of them wore a stitch and she was amazed at how comfortable she suddenly felt in her own skin. Of course, that might have something to do with the warm masculine skin pressed against hers. Between talking and laughing, they’d made love twice. Three times if you counted the fooling around they’d done in the shower just now. She couldn’t get enough of him and she never wanted to leave this cozy cocoon they’d made in the warmth of his bed.

“Do you like this one?” she asked while the delicacy melted in his mouth.

He smiled and drew her down against his chest. “I like you.”

She laughed and laid her head against his shoulder. “Since when? Before I took my clothes off or after?”

His warm palm caressed her naked back in slow, hypnotizing strokes and his deep voice rumbled against her breast. “Always.”

“I’ll bet you say that to all the girls.”

“There are no
all the girls
.”

That got her attention. “What about your list?”

He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Stupid idea.”

“Seriously stupid. Thank God you’re such a smart man.” She kissed him and the taste of the sweet chocolate on his tongue swept through her mouth. Their hearts beat together, swift and uneasy like butterflies trapped in a box. And she had to admit what she’d felt for quite some time. She framed his handsome face between her hands and looked down into his eyes. “I like you too.” She kissed him again. “I like the way you smile at crotchety old ladies and make them feel young again. I like the way you took a falling-down cabin and made it a home. I definitely like the way you grill a trout. And maybe I even like the fact that you’re probably the most honest person I know. Even when that honesty is directed at me and it hurts like hell.”

His hand slid down the curve of her spine and he smiled. “Are you buttering me up for a reason?”

“Mmmmmm, only so I can do this.” She kissed her way down his chest, paying as close attention to his hard nipples as he’d paid to hers. While he slid his fingers into her hair, she ran her tongue down his flat belly to the line of fine hair below his belly button and his very serious erection. “And . . . this.”

She swirled the swollen head with her tongue and looked up into his lust-heavy eyes. “Especially this.” She took him into her mouth, deepening the suction and then easing back to tease him with just the tip of her tongue. As she lightly scraped her teeth across the head he gave a long, sighing moan.

“Do you like that?” she asked.

He drew her up against him, rolled her over and eased into her warmth. “What do you think?”

An intense pleasure filled her and curled around her heart like a woolen mitten. At that moment, Kate knew that in Matt Ryan’s arms was exactly where she wanted to be.

Maybe even forever.

M
orning filtered through the French doors on pale light and Matt lifted his head off the pillow. Judging by the several inches of white powder that lined the deck rail, snow had fallen all during the night. Naked, Kate was pressed to his side with her head on his shoulder. Her no-name dog had curved himself around their feet at the bottom of the bed. And Matt sank into his favorite fantasy of waking every day with Kate curled up to him just like this.

Last night had been unexpected and yet more than he ever could have imagined. They’d consumed her champagne and between making love and feasting on each other, they devoured her treats. It didn’t take long for him to realize the woman he’d imagined for so many years was more than just a fantasy. He’d waited so long for her to come back he could hardly believe she was lying in his arms. His heart pounded. She fit perfectly. As sure as the snow fell outside his window, he knew Kate was exactly where she belonged—in his bed and in his life.

But how to convince her of that was another matter.

As if she could read his mind, she stirred in his arms, lifted her chin, and gave him a sleepy smile with lips still flushed from his kisses. He bent his head and kissed them again.

“Morning.” She stretched and the puppy lifted his head with a
don’t disturb me
look in his big brown eyes.

“Thanks for not sneaking out,” Matt murmured.

“What? And leave all this coziness to go out in the cold? I don’t think so.”

He laughed. “Well, thank God you didn’t stay because of me. That would have been awkward.”

“Mmmmm.” She trailed her finger across his chest. “I have to admit, you are much better than a silk comforter.”

“And you’ve given me a huge appetite.” He lifted her finger to his lips and kissed it. “How about some breakfast?”

“It’s Sunday.” She rolled on top of him and pressed her sweet, warm breasts into his chest. “How about we stay right here and I worship your body a little while longer?”

Sometimes it was just best to let a woman have her way.

I
cy wind whipped across the shield of the helmet stuck on Kate’s head as she clung to Matt from the back of his snowmobile. At a brisk speed they glided across the blanketed valley until they reached an ungroomed trail that wound through the forest thick with snow-dusted pines. As the incline increased, Kate snuggled closer to Matt. He let go of the handlebar long enough to gently squeeze the hand she had tucked into the pocket of his coat.

She breathed in a lung full of clean mountain air. This was a hell of a way to travel for breakfast.

Having the chance to wrap your arms around the most gorgeous man in Montana? Stellar. Add in the scenery? Unbelievable. Kate had forgotten about the beauty of the backcountry. She’d forgotten the benefits of having nature’s playground in your own backyard. In L.A. the only wilderness to be found was Griffith Park, which, for the most part, was usually loaded up with picnickers and tourists.

Here, they were completely alone.

The snowmobile fishtailed as they rounded a curve up to a stunning vista where rugged mountain peaks continued to rise above the snow-covered valley floor. When Matt slowed the machine to a stop and turned off the engine, Kate jumped off the back, pulled the helmet from her head, and wearing a too big pair of his snow pants, slogged through the snow to the rocky edge of the rise.

Several hundred feet below, the lake sparkled sapphire in the sun. Overhead, fluffy white clouds drifted across a turquoise sky. The whole scene looked like a Currier and Ives postcard.

“Wow! This . . . is amazing.” She did a slow spin to view the panorama, then turned to find Matt still straddling the snowmobile, watching her from behind the visor of his black helmet. “Aren’t you going to come look? The scenery is beautiful.”

He lifted off the helmet and smiled at her. “I’ll say.”

Her cheeks flushed. But maybe that was only from the cold. “You’re not looking at the scenery.”