Second Chances (26 page)

“Um...” He felt her hands dig into him. “Ow...um...” She was using her claws as well as her strong hands.

“If you know what's good for you, you'll shut up and quit while you are behind,” she said, squeezing her thighs around his hips. “Don't even think about moving,” she growled.

“No ma'am. I like being ridden, just not this way,” he said teasingly.

She blushed, pushing his head down as he chuckled. He knew he'd gotten to her. “Don't you dare....Okay, no more making wise cracks, or...anything else,” she said darkly. She grabbed the hair on the back of his head and pulled his head up. “Got it?”

“Yes ma'am,” he gasped. She let go. He buried his face in the pillow while he wondered what he'd done to deserve being mauled. He wondered if he'd survive being an invalid. If this was the cure, he'd take the centipedes any day he thought. He did appreciate a woman that took charge though. He fought certain natural urges as her hard hands started to soften the longer she worked. Instead he let himself doze.

Loni realized he was snoozing when his breathing became even and his body relaxed. She thought about slapping his ass again to wake him up but instead kept massaging him. She traced her fingertips over the tattoo on his shoulder, an image of a prison bars and six slash marks under it. Under that were the words “Never forget, never again.”

She liked tracing his muscles; he was well built. She bit her lip, fighting her treacherous body. “Down girl,” she muttered to herself. Eventually she got tired of it though and dismounted. She checked the cabin over, noting Gwen had made dinner but hadn't finished cleaning up. She busied herself with that with the occasional look his way.

~~~~~~(@)~~~~~~

When Doc pronounced John fit enough to get back on his feet, he wasted no time. One of the first things he did was take a long overdue shower, then he was off to see the animals and get back to work.

Loni saw him throw himself in the thick of it and shook her head in disgust. She had mixed feelings about the whole thing. On the one side, she was heartily glad he was back on his feet. But on the other, she secretly liked taking care of him. But then again, she didn't have to worry about the other girls getting their claws into him...she sighed, shaking her head in disgust at herself.

“What?” Carlene asked, coming over to her.

“Him. Right back into it,” Loni said, unsure of what to do about him. “Doc
told
him to take it easy. He's liable to break that arm again or something.”

“He didn't have a fever. No infection, thank god,” Carlene said. “That polyp juice is great about that. It really cut the swelling down and advanced the healing or so Doc said. All back to normal, or at least as close to it as he can get. All that pent up-energy,” she said wryly, watching John bustle about. He had a bit of limp, but that didn't seem to stop him. Slow him down a bit yes but not stop.

Loni nodded. “Yeah, good for that,” she muttered, still eying him. “Speaking of energy...did he get any from the other nurses?” she asked with an edge to her voice.

“Why don't you admit you care for the guy?” Carlene demanded. Loni glared at her suddenly taken off balance. She hadn't realized others knew her feelings. “Oh, right, that stubborn pride,” Carlene said, holding up her hands in surrender. “Heaven forbid anyone help you or
like
you.” She shook her head. “We're all trying, but you keep pushing people away.”

Loni felt her insides twist and then she surprised herself when she burst into tears. Carlene was surprised. She muttered something about “so much for cowgirls don't cry” before she took the other woman in her arms and held her.

When Loni calmed down she dabbed at her eyes and then blew her nose. “That was a long time coming out,” Carlene observed. Loni nodded. “Good. It's good to get it out, clear the air. Now, what's got you so tore up?”

They talked. Loni was hesitant to Carlene's probing. “Here I wondered all this time if you'd turned lesbian or something,” Carlene joked. “Not there is anything wrong with that, I'm just saying,” she said. “You do like the guy though?”

Loni snorted. She admitted she did have feelings for him. She was contrite, soft spoken. “I'm not sure what to make of them though. He's...I'm so mixed up! Do I like him because I was stuck with him?”

“Stockholm syndrome you mean?” Carlene asked. She smirked a little. “You don't like being helpless do you?” Loni shook her head vehemently no.

“I thought so. Which is a problem.”

“No, I can do things on my own,” Loni said, eyes flashing.

“There is nothing wrong with that,” Carlene said. “I'm all for girl power in any form. Not my point,” she said then sighed. She ran a hand through her hair trying to think.

Loni hunched her shoulders feeling miserable and torn. “At least you've admitted to me and to yourself, which by the way is important,” Carlene said, making her look up, “that you like him. That's a good step. Like as in friend, tolerate? Or something more?”

Loni frowned, cocking her head.

“I see you don't even know the answer yourself. So, homework, think about that,” Carlene said. That made Loni crack a smile. “But you've spent so much time pushing him away, I don't know if you could get your foot in the door now,” Carlene mused.

“Then why does he still leave stuff for me? Even when I told him not to?”

“Well, you do a lot for all of us you know,” Carlene said. “And heaven help it if you actually made friends, despite that sharp tongue of yours,” she said. Loni blushed, hanging her head. “Though I suppose, it's not too far out of the field to say he might like you,” she said. That made Loni look up. Carlene raised a finger. “I did say might. He's hard to read too,” she said.

“The thing is...I don't know if he's...worth it,” Loni admitted, rubbing one arm.

“If he didn't make a pass at you all winter, then he's good in my book,” Carlene said. “Think about it; there aren't a lot of guys to pick and choose from you know?!” she said, waving a hand. Loni nodded. “They keep dropping like flies. We've lost how many last year?” Carlene shook her head.

“Too many,” Loni agreed with as shiver.

“Yes. I'm glad I didn't lose Eric,” Carlene said, then closed her eyes. She sighed, then took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Finally she opened her eyes. “The thing to understand is, although we're back to well, primitive status, we're not always going to stay that way. Look around you and you'll see that,” she said, indicating the pump and homes.

Loni nodded. John, Earl and the others had gotten the pump going as soon as they were certain the cold had let up for good. Everyone had cheered at the sight of running fresh water. Guy had pulled John, Hector, Rick, and the others aside and together they'd gotten busy on not only improving the base's defenses but also its infrastructure. The added a primitive sewage system, then covered over the main quad with drainage to the sewer. The sewer fed into the moat for now, but eventually it would go to the fields.

They still didn't have sufficient water pressure to make everyone happy, but with careful management and coordination, they could take a shower or use the water to wash things or even hose out the stables.

“Things are looking up,” Loni admitted.

“That they are. And I saw and I know you saw that John's expanded his cabin,” Carlene pointed out.

Loni nodded. She'd seen him carefully take out a window, then cut the wall with a chain saw. She'd thought he had lost it until she realized he was expanding the cabin. From the look of the new foundations he'd laid he was planning on tripling the space; she wasn't sure why though.

“The big things to look for in a guy is…a,” Carlene held up her fingers and then ticked points off one by one. “Is he a provider? Yes,” she said. Loni nodded. “Good. Move down the list then. He's kind,” she said, sort of asking the question as she cocked her head to Loni. Loni nodded grudgingly.

“He's got other good things going for him. He's better than say Bert,” she said. “Bert's a character and a half. It'd take a special woman to see through him and settle him down. I didn't know how lucky we were to have Heather. I miss her too,” she said. “But he's only one of the single guys. You wouldn't be interested in say, Kevin would you?”

Loni shrugged.

“To be fair to Bert though, he's still mourning Heather. He's working his tail off to keep busy and to help get through the day. I can see it though,” Carlene said. Loni frowned but then nodded.

“The other question is, is he attracted to you, and are you attracted to him?” Carlene asked.

Loni's frown deepened. “I'm...not sure. If it went anywhere, it'd have to be on my terms. I'd have to feel...well, in control. I don't want to be burned again,” she said, shivering.

“And you are worried about losing him?” Carlene asked. Loni nodded. “Thought so. Believe it or not, I'm worried too. We all are. He's constantly charging around, working until he's damn near dead. He needs to stop that,” she said shaking her head.

“But we need it,” Loni said. “You know we do,” she replied, frowning.

“But, not so much so fast. Yes, I know, there are a few more hours in the day, ha ha, but he's got to calm his ass down,” she said. “He does need a lady in his life. Someone to yes, take charge and get him in order.”

That round-about approval made Loni's eyes flicker in amusement.

Carlene wasn't finished though. She held up her index finger to make a final point. “And I'll leave you with this thought, you attract more flies with honey than vinegar dear,” she said and then walked off leaving Loni alone with her thoughts.

~~~~~~(@)~~~~~~

She had picked a fight with him and had a very public row when he came in late. He hadn't said hi in passing; that was her opening. She shocked him by getting in his path, hands on her hips to confront him. She demanded to know why he didn't like her.

He was put off balance. He shook his head. “I like you. You're beautiful despite being a bit too skinny. You're fierce; I like that. I like assertive women; you speak your mind. And you've got a stubborn pride I admire. You don't give in or back down easily. I get that. But hey, do you honestly think I'd take advantage of you when you're laid low? Or when you lived with me the previous winter? I'd never do that to you!” he said, shaking his head, hands up.

“Why the hell not?” She demanded.

“Because...because it wouldn't be right!” he said, throwing up his hands in exasperation. “To take advantage of you...no,” he said shaking his head vehemently no. “No, I won't do it.” He frowned. “You didn't do it to me either remember? Fair's fair.”

She blinked at him. “Oh.”

“Well, you could take advantage of him,” Ross said, interjecting herself into the conversation. They looked over to her. She smirked. “Hey, tie the big lug to the bed and screw him senseless Ice Queen. It'd do you both good.”

“Ross...” Carlene shook her head, laughing softly.

“What? I'm just saying...he likes her, she likes him...god, talk about a soap opera! Get it over with already!” She said in exasperation. “We all can see it. Besides, kinky is fun!”

“Yeah, but then what would people have to gossip about?” Trisha asked, hand over her mouth as she laughed.

John looked away. Carlene went over to Loni and poked her. “Go on, if you want him you've got to make the first move. He said it, he won't take advantage of you.”

“But...”

“Girl are you going to let your pride get in the way again? Let him get away again and you're a damn fool. Do you really want to grow up old and alone?”

“No...” Loni said softly.

“And you can't tell me he's not warm in the winter,” Carlene said. “Go on, cowgirl, rope yourself a bronco and break him in. Make him yours. Train him up right. If you don't you'll regret it forever,” she said with finality.

“I...”

“Go on with you,” Carlene said, giving her a push. Loni looked over her shoulder but Carlene merely made shooing motions. She turned and walked, then picked up her pace when she realized she wasn't catching up. The trot quickly turned into a run as she rushed forward, eager, but also scared of what he'd say and fearful that if she didn't do it now she'd back out again.

John was fifty yards away when he heard feet rushing up behind him. He turned just in time to be tackled. He saw stars as he landed on his ass in the dirt. Someone was pinning him; he realized it was female as he opened his mouth to protest. He looked up to see her smiling face shrouded in her long black hair just as her full lips descended to kiss him. His good hand went to hold her.

When she finally broke the kiss, he could hear laughter, clapping and cheers. She grinned mischievously. “Well, hero?” she demanded.

“It's about time you figured out what you wanted.”

“But is it what you want?” her voice sounded concerned.

“Does it matter?” he asked, smiling ever so slightly. “Especially when you kiss me like that,” he said, voice dropping into a husky murmur.

She smiled, glad she'd gotten the push she'd needed. She felt him stroke her again and kissed him, long and lovingly. “Get a room!” someone cat called good naturedly. “Ride em cowgirl!” Trisha called, then wolf whistled, making both of them laugh.