Second Chances (16 page)

“Thank you.”

It took him a few seconds to collect one neuron or two to croak a, “You’re welcome.”

Still grinning, Maya pushed one little package into his hand.

“Open mine.”

Frozen, Arthur looked at the homemade wrapping. Maya’s package had a big silver bow, clearly scissors-curled on the ends. His father generally stuck to gift cards or banknotes in a thick vellum envelope; other presents he received were professionally handled by shop clerks. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had taken the time to choose something for him and wrap it. There were little penguins dancing all over the paper. It looked completely ridiculous and it was perfect.

She blushed, vaguely unnerved by his concentrated stare.

“It’s not much. I…”

“I’m sure it’s great.”

He tore the wrapping feverishly and burst out laughing. She had picked three toy cars, a blue police car, a firefighter truck, and a yellow race-car he recognized to be a transformer.

“It was Mark’s idea. He said you have to have your own, because he is out of the hospital and if you want to play…”

She shut up, annoyed with her babbling. Why was she so nervous? It was just a silly present to keep up the pretence. Uncomfortable, she shifted and her knee brushed the wood box by her side. Suddenly she remembered the Christmas Market some days earlier.

She hadn’t found her magi there and been disappointed. Arthur had taken the time to choose something personal and thoughtful, and she had grabbed some stupid toys. She would pay him back for the sculptures and…

“This is the best present I’ve had in years, Edana.”

Arthur was smiling, and she didn’t know what to make of the glint in his blue eyes, so she circled his neck, and pressed her mouth to his.

Her kiss took him off guard and God…he was only human; he gave into it without a second thought. She was soft and sweet. Her lips tasted of the icing from the cupcake she had eaten and coffee. She was delicious. Arthur fought to quiet the need growing inside him and keep their embrace chaste, yet his control began to escape him when she abandoned herself against his chest, all pretence gone. He freed her abruptly, short of breath, desperately looking for annoyance in her misty eyes to steady himself.

Maya couldn’t wrap her head around anything but Arthur. This kiss, their first real kiss, was one he intended to give or one she wanted to take or the other way around, she wasn’t sure.

It lasted only a few seconds, but when he pushed her away she could barely remember why there were so many people around them. She wanted to lean forward to kiss him again, but his hands on her shoulders stopped her. He looked sad and it confused her even more.

“Thank you.”

She couldn’t tell if Arthur was thanking her for his present, or for the kiss. Maybe both.

***

“What the hell, Arthur!”

Tristan slammed the door behind him. Arthur kept washing his hands. The water was icy cold but he didn’t give a damn. Tristan narrowed his eyes on the man who had his back to him. The silent attitude was so far from the arrogance Arthur usually presented he hesitated. He might not have his cousin’s gift for empathy, but he could recognize pain when he saw it.

They looked at each other in the mirror.

“What I do, what I have to do,” Arthur automatically corrected, “is going to hurt her. I will hurt her. But God help me, I can’t stay away… It will end badly but I just can’t. I…”

“I love her.”

The idea lingered there, surprising and warm. What he felt was not infatuation, or a simple crush. It was past lust, though desire was there, of course. It was more than that. Her smile was the ultimate prize to win and he could not stand to imagine her tears. He loved her. He would give her the world, the moon, the stars or let her go just as well, if she wanted to.

He loved her and he couldn’t have her; like all he held dear in the past, he would lose her; she would disappear, leave him alone and heartbroken. He loved her and it wasn’t enough. The hole inside him when he considered the future was white hot and icy cold, so dark he wanted to scream and so empty he felt like a part of him was dying.

Arthur leaned against the sink, not caring about the water that was still running. Tristan took one step closer, and landed one hand on his shoulder. Arthur was annoying, and conceited, but instinct told him he was a good man, nonetheless. Maybe what he needed to fully accept himself was Maya, and her capacity to love without reserve.

“You should give yourself a little credit. Maybe…”

Arthur squared his shoulders and shook off the other man’s hand.

“I have to go. Tell her my father called or something…”

“I won’t lie for you. And you’ll tell her everything yourself, but not today. Walk back in there and be your usual charming self. It’s Christmas, after all.”

Arthur bowed his head in silence. He knew better than to hope Maya would forgive him when she learned the role he had in the Foundation’s inquiry. To ignore that for a few hours would only make it harder later. He just couldn’t help craving for one last bit of happiness.

***

Exhausted, Matthew fell asleep sometime during the puppet show. Maya brushed Arthur’s arm, pointing at the child and he moved forward to scoop him up, while she collected his things.

The corridors were peaceful while they walked back to Matthew’s room, side by side. The little boy’s head had come to rest in the crook of Arthur’s shoulder and he had circled his neck with both arms. Maya tried to keep a clear voice as butterflies flew in her stomach at the image.

“I hope he enjoyed the day…”

“I’m sure he did.”

Arthur gently sat the sleepy child on his bed, while Maya took his pyjamas and started undressing him. The parental gestures came so naturally to both of them that neither really noticed until Matthew was curled in his bed and Maya tugged the sheets around him, kissing his forehead softly.

The young man failed to find some stupid comment to break the spell. She was watching the dark head quietly nestled on the pillow and Arthur gulped. All he wanted was to wrap his arms around her and hold her. At the same time, he knew he had to walk away now, before it was too late. If he stayed, none of them would recover from the fall.

Arthur buried his feelings deep inside and stepped back. He spoke low, partly not to disturb the boy, partly because he didn’t trust his voice to stay firm.

“I have to go, Maya. Tristan or Colin will take you home.”

Surprised, she lifted her eyes to him and he nearly drowned in the liquid waters. Arthur repeated, “I have to go,” but he didn’t move.

Maya glanced back at her charge without a word and he walked to the door. Of course he paused there, fighting not to turn for one last glance.

“Haven’t you forgotten something?”

And he looked. Her playful smile rang warning bells in his head. She had said that once, when she wanted him to kiss her. He hesitated a little too long immobile by the door, and her smile faded. Arthur hated himself for causing the gloom on her beautiful face. Maya turned her attention back to the child again.

“Good night then. Please tell Tristan I’m here on your way out.”

Cutting the strings before they acted on them for good was best. However his pride bested his good sense at the cold dismissal. Arthur approached the woman seated on the bed. Only the renewed hope in her eyes stopped him from covering her mouth with his. With one last effort of will, he settled for a quick hug and walked out, this time without stopping.

Chapter 25

Maya saw the papers piled up on her desk and turned tail. She wanted to see Matthew, the paperwork would wait…

The little boy was drawing when she entered the playroom, installed at a small table with colored crayons spread in front of him. He looked pale when she approached; his bright eyes, so much like her own, shone unhealthily. Maya’s heart squeezed painfully in her chest. The previous day had left its mark on the fragile child. She walked swiftly to sit near him and hugged him tenderly.

Matthew accepted the caress before he escaped her arms to present her with his drawing. It showed three characters more or less well formed, the smallest one being perched on a big four-legged animal, a horse of course. The horse was so tall it nearly touched the sun in the corner of the sheet. The other two were holding hands, and she recognized herself and Arthur at once. The short yellow hair and long black hair were unmistakable. She caressed his head gently.

“Arthur is working today, Matthew. Maybe he’ll come by later.”

She wondered if he would. He seemed as attached to the boy as she was, however Matthew and she came as a package deal Arthur was not ready to consider. She wished she could find words to explain that to the small boy. The picture danced in front of her eyes…Matthew’s wish was not about riding horses, not really. What he really wanted was a family and to be loved. Chasing away the threatening tears, she stood.

“Gavin told me they are about to show the “Toystory” movie; do you want to come with me and watch it?”

The dark head shook up and down, and the slight movement brought a painful cough. Maya rubbed his little back slowly until the child calmed down. The operation was scheduled in less than five days; it seemed too far away. His lips were nearly blue with the need for air.

When his breath finally settled into heartbreaking hisses, she watched carefully as he pushed away from the table, and took her hand to move toward the video room.

***

After lunch, however, she had no choice but to face the monstrous administrative task waiting for her in her office.

The Vallon Hospital tree had just added to her daily paperwork, which in itself was not a surprise; it usually did. And usually, she didn’t mind, but today the joyful memories the extra work brought were downcast by Arthur’s odd behavior. As if Matthew’s health had not been enough to depress her.

His attitude pained and pleased her at the same time, which was all the more confusing. She felt betrayed he hadn’t acted on their obvious mutual attraction (even he could not deny it) and she admired the fact he kept his word about behaving honorably. Her pride was bruised and his gallantry suited her. Maya couldn’t quite decide which feeling was stronger, respect or annoyance. The mountain of work only added to the frustration. Maybe vanity was winning…A little bit.

One minute he was letting his true self (what she wanted to believe was really him) show, flirty, generous and kind, and the next, he closed up tighter than an oyster around its pearl.

Maya picked up the first bunch of papers to put some order in the chaos. Had she done something wrong?

The first sheet she read was the list of lost items; she put it away to give to her assistant to type and file. She didn’t push or pursue him and did her best to accept Arthur the way he was.

The following items were the external guests and the patient lists. She discarded them for filing as well. Why was he running hot and cold like that? If he didn’t want her, why had he kissed her back? Unless it’d been just a reflex.

Her heart swelled heavily and her fingers folded the receipt she held. That was it. He didn’t share her interest and he didn’t know how to tell her. She had mistaken their charade and blossoming friendship for real feelings and foolishly acted on a mirage.

Shame burned her cheeks. She’d been so stupid. She was not Arthur’s type; he had made that clear from the beginning.

Maya forced her fingers to unclench and smoothed the thin paper she had crushed. She had to stop it now. The moment was perfect for a breakup anyway. Robert believed they were deeply involved; Matthew’s operation was paid and scheduled; a split-up during the Christmas Holiday was said to be terrible. She had a rather accurate idea why.

“Just a fake,” Maya chastised herself out loud. “It wasn’t real.”

She focused on her filing again. Work was an excellent remedy for a lonely soul. Arthur was the best proof of that. Her eyes burned a little.

“Hello?”

Maya lift her head as Isobel entered her office. Her friend instantly noticed her mood.

“What’s wrong?”

The raven-haired woman pushed her braid away, swallowing the unwanted tears.

“Nothing. The paperwork is monstrous.”

Isobel peeked at the files on her desk.

“I bet. Can I help?”

“Thanks but I’ll get through it; I just need to get down to it.”

“So work is not why you look so upset. Is it Arthur?”

“What? No, of course not.”

Isobel glared; she was too sharp to miss the lie. Maya shook her head to add to the denying. So much for announcing they were to “break up”. She felt her eyes were watering again and looked away.

Sensing the subject was touchy, Isobel didn’t insist. She picked up a receipt from the top of one pile.

“What’s this? Wow, that much for cupcakes and little sandwiches?”

“What do you mean?”

Maya took the piece of paper back from the other woman. The receipt read $14,000, way too high compared to…

“That’s certainly a mistake; I’ve got the original submission here.”

She fished the contract from another file. The total was around $1,400, which was far more logical for a 80-person buffet at a children’s party.

“That’s certainly $1,400 not $14,000; the decimal point is hard to read.”

As she said so, Maya examined the receipt closely. It was not that the point was hard to read, it was absent altogether. She grabbed her phone and dialled the caterer’s number.

“Good day Mrs. Nelson, this is Maya Finnegan from The Vallon Hospital…Yes thank you, it went well. However, I have your receipt here and I think there’s a mistake, it reads $14,000... Oh…Of course…No, that’s fine, she probably forgot to tell me…Yes, thank you…Bye.”

Maya hung up and glanced at Isobel.

“Moira paid the bill in cash and she told them the extra money was an advance for future services.”

Her friend quirked an eyebrow.

“I never heard of such a thing.”

“Me neither. And I had told Moira I wanted to change the catering services because I had a lot of problems with them while organizing the last event.”