Second Chances (18 page)

When he moved away as she leaned forward to pick up her glass, Maya had enough.

“Do you mind asking for the bill? I would like to go home.”

Her flat tone seemed to shake him. Arthur straightened up in his chair to gesture to their waiter, visibly waiting for an explanation.

Maya considered her options and finally decided honesty was best.

“Let’s face it, Arthur, we don’t have anything in common besides Matthew. It’s okay, we don’t have to force ourselves when our friends and family are not around. And if your father is convinced then…”

She concluded her sentence with a flip of her hand. Offering him a way out was one of the hardest things she had ever done. But seeing him so ill at ease and out of her reach was too much for her to handle. The blue eyes were fixed on her now, as hard to read as ever, and she did her best to bravely hold his stare.

The waiter came back before Arthur had found an answer to demolish her logic. Denial was pointless. They were as close as night and day.

She held her hair up so it didn’t get caught in her collar when their host helped her with her coat. She was beautiful, inside and out, and he was attracted to her like a moth to a flame. It was best to put some distance between them. Except that he simply couldn’t.

Maya picked up her scarf, a flow of silken hair cascading again, and he took the cloth out of her hands to arrange it himself. Maya bent her head to follow his moves, but Arthur forced her chin up.

“I feel good when you’re around and that’s enough for me.”

Her eyes widened a little, but he didn’t wait for a reply and took her arm to escort her outside. He was unlocking her door when Maya murmured.

“That’s enough for me too.”

Then she climbed in, leaving him speechless on the sidewalk.

They made it as far as the first light before they leaned toward each other and kissed. Arthur managed to move away from her when the light turned green, but they kissed again at the next stop, a short (too long) two hundred meters away, and again two lights later.

The light traffic kept them apart for another thirty blocks, so the impatient honk from a car behind which interrupted their fourth kiss felt like a bombshell. Five stops later, they finally parked in front of Maya’s apartment.

Arthur cut off the engine. The latest part of the ride had helped clear his head a little, and doubts started assaulting him once more.

“We’re too old to neck in a car like teenagers.”

Maya moistened her lips in anticipation and his stare instantly sank to her mouth in spite of his resolve.

“Said who?”

Her permission didn’t unleash the passion she was craving. His hands cupped her face, brushing her jaw, seeking answers in the smoky green of her eyes. When his mouth touched hers again, the touch was tantalizing light and soft, before his self-control exploded and he invaded her mouth for a deep passionate kiss. Maya whimpered softly inside his mouth. Or maybe the sound of pleasure was his; they were so lost in each other, it was hard to tell.

Maya circled his neck then moved to caress his chest. His body under her palms was wonderfully strong and hot; definitely not close enough. She leaned closer and the gesture tightened her seat-belt. Shaken, Arthur straightened up, trying to catch his breath.

“What are we doing?”

The windows were already fogging up from the heat rising between them. She smiled impishly.

“You kissed me, and I kissed you back.”

Maya touched his face, trying to have his attention again. Arthur swallowed.

“It’s not a good idea.”

She could feel the restrain in the clench of his jaw under her fingertips and she wanted his willpower gone.

“I don’t care.”

The caress was bewitching and he closed his eyes to savor the touch. He only had to lean forward to taste her again…Arthur resisted, though he didn’t know how.

“I do.”

Maya pouted as he gently untied her hands from his neck.

“But…”

Arthur leaned back fully in his seat, looking at the crystallization which slowly invaded the windshield. He forced coldness into his voice, for it was the only way to save them both.

“I’m not the right person for you.”

His volte-face was so complete she briefly wondered if she was dreaming.

Arthur kept his head straight, avoiding her eyes. The pain in his fingers from gripping the wheel so tight was nothing compared to the hole drilling inside his chest. He added arrogance to the next words, hoping her anger would overcome the pain he was inflicting on her.

“You’ll thank me later. Trust me.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

Oh, yes, she was angry.

“What’s not right is denying who you are or what you want, Arthur.”

He wanted her. He wanted a future with her; a family, kids. He wanted to look forward to come home every night and to have her by his side when he woke up in the morning.

“I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Maya opened her door and stepped outside the car.

“So am I. Colin will let you know how Matthew is doing.”

Game over.

The door banged and he counted down from twenty before he allowed his head to turn, catching the last glimpse of her proud figure entering her home. Within a minute, a light shone through a window. Arthur bent down, started the engine and drove away.

She deserved more than he had to give. The only thing he could offer was to rid The Vallon Hospital and the Foundation of their plague. He turned left toward the office and opened his window wide. The chilly air seemed nearly warm compared to the cold inside his heart.

Chapter 28

“Colin!”

The young man sighed and grabbed the last printed corrections to answer his irascible boss. Whatever had happened after he had let Maya into Arthur’s office the previous evening had turned him into a younger version of…

“COLIN !!”

…His father. Entering the room, Colin noticed once again the bloodshot eyes and wrinkled shirt and wondered.

“Thanks.”

At least Arthur managed to stay polite in spite of his obvious disarray.

“I nearly waited.”

This time, the sarcasm hit a nerve and instead of retreating to the door, Colin glared.

“What happened yesterday?”

“Nothing.”

Colin folded his arms over his chest, unmoved by the snap and asked again, adding specifics.

“What happened with Maya yesterday?”

“None of your business.”

Arthur glanced up and recognized the look immediately. Colin was in his “I’m-not-taking-no-for-an-answer” mode. His friend was the sweetest man he knew, but he could stand his ground when he wanted to. Like now.

“We went out to dinner, I drove Maya home and then I came back here to work. Where is…”

“Did you fight during dinner or later?”

Oh, yeah, Colin could be as stubborn as a mule. Arthur lied.

“We didn’t fight.”

“We kissed. We kissed and I had a glimpse of paradise and I can not have it.”

“Oh boy.”

Colin fell into the chair facing the desk.

“You chickened out.”

Arthur snorted.

“I certainly did not “chicken out”. We both decided it was best not to pursue our “arrangement” any longer.”

“Bullshit, Arthur. You’re in love with her and, as usual, when you have to take an emotional risk, you backed out.”

This one hit home. Arthur narrowed his eyes on his friend, menacingly.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Colin glared back, with another of his “I-know-better” looks and stood.

“I’m going to The Vallon Hospital. You, you are going home to shower, and eat something more nutritious than black coffee. And when you crash in your lonely bed, pray Maya has more good sense than you do.”

And a bottomless forgiving heart. He didn’t add that part. The gleam in Arthur’s eyes was too close to despair for that.

***

The woman pacing back and forth and fuming was not the one he had expected to find.

“Isobel…”

Maya was curled in her chair, and the soft plea stopped the blonde in her furious tracks. She came near her friend swiftly and threw her arms around her to comfort her.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry…I should not have encouraged you to consider him…I knew from the beginning your pairing was a fake, but you seemed so taken with each other…”

The green eyes began to water, despite Maya’s resolve not to cry over something that had never been there. She spotted Colin above her friend’s shoulder, and pushed away, welcoming him with a tight smile.

“Hi Colin.”

Isobel spun on her heels and narrowed her eyes suspiciously; half-sure Arthur would be right behind his friend. Unimpressed, Colin came near Maya to kiss her cheek then settled in the chair facing her.

“Arthur is an idiot.”

The blonde woman approved, ready to start her rant again, but Maya squeezed her hand and she kept her mouth shut.

“Did he tell you…”

She trailed off, unwilling to announce out loud a split that was not really one. It would have made it too real. Colin sighed.

“It wasn’t hard to guess. I see him with this air on him only once a year.”

“On his birthday, when he comes back from the cemetery…Except this year because he came back to you.”

Maya looked away. Colin searched for the best way to explain without hurting her further (and without being hit by Isobel).

“He is scared, Maya. All he’s loved, he has always lost.”

Colin took her little nod for an encouragement to speak further.

“Arthur lost his mother and his father shows no mercy, let alone love for him. And this thing about the Foundation, he is sure it will be his fault if anything bad happens. So he keeps you at arm’s length because he thinks it’s best for you, whatever the sacrifice costs him…He really cares, Maya.”

The young woman stayed mute, maybe thinking about his explanation. She had turned to look through the window. Isobel sneered.

“So what do you suggest, Colin? That she jumps him to force him to overcome his complexes?”

“Well…”

From Colin’s point of view, the idea had its appeal. It would certainly lighten his days, that was for sure.

“I can’t do that.”

Colin sighed again. It’d been worth a try…

“Whatever feelings Arthur has for me, they are clearly not strong enough for him to act on them. I will not hurt him intentionally but he’ll never be happy if he refuses to risk that I would. It is his choice to make; not mine.”

***

Two hours and three cold showers later, the young man still paced his living room like a caged lion. He had considered going to her at least a thousand times, and found as many reasons not to go.

He didn’t even try to sleep. The light in her eyes when she had walked away was keeping his exhausted brain awake.

Housework didn’t help either. There was not much to do anyway, a couple of cups to gather one plate in the sink. After ten minutes, he had stopped the dishwasher. The tidal noise was only enhancing those pictures of her he desperately tried to chase from his head, peaceful walks on the beach and her cheeks made pink by pleasure while she moved under him.

Arthur picked up a glass but the piece escaped his distracted fingers to crash on the floor. The broom soon became a weapon, grabbed with both hands like a sword, and whirling in front of him rather than sweeping the floor.

Years of watching epic movies and training were imprinted in his muscles and he swung the head forward with full force, again and again, each furious movement unfortunately adding to his restlessness. He couldn’t stop moving or he thought he would scream.

When the doorbell rang, he was breathless.

For a second, Arthur imagined it was her, that Colin had somehow convinced her to forgive him and that she had come to him. Then good sense kicked in to calm his racing heart. She would never do that, especially after he had walked away so carelessly.

The bell rang again. Arthur moved to the door and found Tristan on his doorstep.

The dark man narrowed his eyes dangerously, peeking at the broom and Arthur’s dishevelled attire. He looked furious. So Maya had called her cousin to the rescue to punish him. Great. Arthur braced himself for the coming punch. He was stronger than Tristan, but…

His unexpected visitor said nothing though he inhaled deeply, as if to ready himself. Tristan plunged one hand into a pocket and Arthur backed away quickly. Surely he wouldn’t…

The other man frowned. “What’s the matter with you?”

Arthur shook his head, appalled. If he was not here to shoot him then what? He barked, “What do you want?”

Tristan glared. Arthur glowered back. He didn’t care. The truce between them had shattered the moment he had started to believe Maya could mend his soul.

Tristan shoved a hard drive in his hand.

“You need to see that.”

Fantasies about Maya definitely vanished from Arthur’s head when he opened the files on the disk.

Chapter 29

Maya examined her face in the mirror. Despite her firm refusal, not running to Arthur was hard. She already knew what Colin had said, more or less, and she ached to take him in her arms and lighten his burden; to make him feel loved and whole again. She knew she could. But he had to trust her with his heart, unconditionally, or neither would be happy.

She turned the hot water on. Sleep had eluded her a good part of the night before, and she hoped a long bath would help chase the sad edginess away and relax her.

It didn’t take long to fill the tub, and Maya lowered herself into the water with a soft sigh of contentment. The heat blazed her skin instantly and she stayed still in the bath for a while, enjoying the sensation and the slight dizziness invading her head. While stretching to grab her soap, the water around her rippled in hot gentle waves. The salts she had added created a fragrant film on her skin and Maya rubbed her hands on her arms and her calves, savouring the caress.

Arthur’s image was still in the back of her mind, but she felt calmer now. The pain his attitude had caused seemed enclosed in a thick cloud she hoped was oblivion. In a couple of weeks, when she’d forgotten about the sparks between them, she would call him and allow him around her and Matthew again, as a friend.