Second Chances (5 page)

"Babe, you’re killing me here."  Ryan’s voice sounded low and guttural.  His hand stroked a slow trail down her spine and back up again, clasping the back of her neck as he pulled her up for an all-consuming kiss.  Lips met lips, tongues and teeth meshing in a jumble of mindless need.  He devoured her with the mind-numbing kiss, and Rose felt all the love he poured into it.   Whatever other problems they might have, knowing Ryan loved her wasn’t one of them.  She never doubted Ryan adored her and her heart overflowed with more emotion than she could contain and she poured all her adoration for her husband into showing him.

Pulling back from the kiss, Rose’s eyes met his stare boldly.  "I think you can handle anything I can dish out."

Ryan chuckled.  "Bring it on, babe. Just remember, turnabouts fair play.  I’ll get my turn soon."

"I’m counting on it." 

Reaching between their bodies, Rose grasped Ryan’s erection firmly in her hand, encircling the swollen turgid flesh.  Like the rest of his body, he was big all over and her fingers barely fit around him.  Her hand pumped up and down, building a rhythm and his indrawn breath and the bunching of his muscles under her thighs told her without words how she affected him.   She moved her body further down, angled her hips to give her better access to his eager flesh. 

"What do you want, Ryan?" 

"Huh?" 

"What would you like me do to you?"  Rose whispered, raising her head as she voiced the question, looking at him through the tangle of hair falling around her.  Tonight she wanted everything to feel special.  He’d agreed to go to Destiny’s Desire though she knew it was tearing him up inside, and she wanted to give him something special for his willingness. 

"I—I want you on top.  Ride me."  Desire pooled low in her belly at his words.  Both of them were adventurous about sex with nothing taboo or out of bounds, as long as both parties were willing, but Ryan usually liked having the dominant position.  Clearly the alpha male in all ways he preferred being in control during sex.  For him to relinquish that control, allow her to lead, was a big step for him and Rose blinked back tears as the emotions swelled within her heart.  Each time she thought she couldn’t possibly love him more, he’d do something like this, and the boundaries of her heart expanded and filled even more. 

"I love you so much, my darling."   Rose whispered words held her promise.

Ryan’s hand swept up, brushing the curls from her face and tucked them behind her ear.  "No more than I love you.  You’re my heart—my everything.  Never, ever doubt that, Rosie." 

With their declarations of love, Rose lifted her hips, tilted and angled her body and grasped Ryan’s shaft firmly in her hand.  Her thumb slid through the moisture coating the tip. Slid his firmness through her slick folds, she positioned his straining erection at her gate.  Easing down inch by delectable inch, she slid lower, wiggling and rotating her hips to take him deeper. 

Ryan’s groan was a symphony that fueled her soul.  Knowing she could make him feel loved, feel cherished those things were important.  Tonight, she wanted his control gone.  Wanted him wild and free, on the edge of desperation. 

Hips lifting, he drove up into her.  Her body stretched to accommodate him as Rose began moving in a sensuous rhythm.  Leaning forward she captured Ryan’s mouth with hers while she slowly undulated, putting a little swivel movement into each downward slide.  Ryan’s breath gasped as his mouth broke free from hers.  His head fell back against the pillow, his hands reaching for her. 

Head thrown back, her hair spilled across her shoulders and down her back and Ryan threaded his hands into its mass, fingers tightening on her scalp as he drove up into her, hips thrusting in concert with the rhythm she’d started.  She tried for slow, seductive.  Instead, a fast and furious tempo took over.  Her breath hitched in her throat as Ryan’s fingers slid into her wet folds, his fingers pinching her clit.  Faster his hips pistoned up, her body matching each rhythmic thrust of him deep within her core. 

She was so close, felt the sensations fluttering inside her, knew his talented hands and mouth would slide along the side of her breast to grasp the nipple gently in his teeth sending her soaring into a mind-shattering orgasm.  He laved the areola before blowing a gentle breathe of air across the dampness.  Nipples sensitive to his abrading tongue, she gasped as he moved from one to the opposite, showering it with the same dedication and attention he’d showed the first. 

Her climax swelled through her and she screamed Ryan’s name, back arched as wave after wave of delicious warmth filled her as he joined her moments later. 

They made love throughout the rest of the night before exhaustion overtook them and they finally slept. 

# # #

"I called the captain last night.  Got the time off."  Ryan poured two cups of coffee, adding cream and sugar to Rose’s cup before passing it to her.  His fingers brushed against hers and that tingle he always got around her surged through him.  "Jake’s going to cover my shifts, pull a couple of doubles, and couple of other guys are helping out.   You gonna have any trouble taking a few days off?"

"I don’t think so.  Most of the patients have been seen and the schedule’s pretty light because of the Christmas holiday.  Dr. Barnett planned on letting the staff have most of that week off anyway.  I might have to go in a bit Monday morning, but should be free after that." 

Rose’s boss at the pediatrician’s office, Dr. Barnett, had told everybody they’d have the week before and after Christmas off, but as the office manager, Ryan knew Rose had planned on spending a couple of days catching up on all the paper work, and finishing up the Christmas shopping.  Jake’s surprise gift last night changed all that. 

"We’re really doing this?  Going to Destiny’s Desire?"   Rose tentatively voiced the question. 

"Yes.  I need to do this.  Jake’s right, I never really said good-bye to Terry.  I guess it’s the right time and definitely the right place." 

Rose walked over to Ryan, looped her arm around his waist and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.  Just holding her like this in the quiet morning light, everything around him slowed and shifted into focus.  He could do anything; even confront the ghosts of his past, as long as he had the love of his life. 

"I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you, but I thank God every single day that you came into my life."

Rose looked up into his eyes and smiled.

"Me too, honey.  Me, too." 

R
ose glanced down at her hands, folding and creasing the paper gown the nurse had her put on.  She was used to helping other people put them on, not wearing one.  Yet sitting here on the exam room table, waiting to see the doctor, her stomach fluttered like a quiver full of butterflies had taken up residence inside.  Unexpected nerves assaulted her as the antiseptic smells of the room hit her over-sensitized system.  Nausea roiled and she lifted a hand to stifle the urge to throw up. 

"How are you today, Mrs. Jackson?"  The cheerful physician’s assistant asked, coming in after knocking on the exam room door. 

"The doctor asked me to get some blood work so we can run a few tests.  Are you on any medications other than those listed in your chart?"

"No, nothing other than vitamins."  Rose answered calmly, breathing through the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.  The last couple of days the nausea hit when she least expected it and she found herself sucking on peppermint candies to quell the bile taste and settle the queasiness. 

"Okay, then, let’s get your vital signs and we’ll get those labs drawn."

Within minutes her pulse, temperature and blood pressure had been taken.  She’d been weighed, poked, prodded, had blood and urine samples taken, and now sat waiting for the doctor to come and do it all over again.

"Good morning, Rose.  What seems to be the problem today?"  Dr. Peterson asked as she strode purposefully into the room.  Her blue eyes sparkled with warmth as she smiled at Rose. 

"I think I’m coming down with the flu."  Rose responded.  "I’ve been nauseous the last couple of days, and I’ve vomited a couple of times.  Ran a slight temperature, nothing too high.  Just feeling a bit run down."

"Well, your vitals all look good.  Temperature is a little high, nothing to be too concerned about.  Any other symptoms?"

"No, I think it’s probably the flu."  Rose tried to smile back at Dr. Peterson but her stomach rebelled at that moment, and she jumped off the table, racing across the room, barely making it to the trash can before heaving up the contents of her belly.

Dr. Peterson handed her a damp paper towel and called for the nurse to bring her a cup of water.   She entered carrying the water and a sheath of papers which she handed to the doctor before exiting.

"Okay, let’s take a look at these lab results, shall we?"  A concerned frown creased Dr. Peterson’s forehead before a little smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, and Rose’s heartbeat sped up, the nervous flutter began again in the pit of her stomach. 
What’s wrong with me?
 

"Well, Rose, I think I see your problem.  You don’t have the flu—but you do have a bun in the oven.  Congratulations, my dear, you’re pregnant." 

"Preg. . .pregnant? Are you sure?"  Rose laid a trembling hand on her stomach, her mind awhirl.  Definitely the last thing she’d expected to hear when she’d come in to see Dr. Peterson.  A wellspring of emotions flooded through her, her eyes filling with tears. 
Really?  Oh my goodness, I can’t believe it.  We’ve wanted a baby forever, tried—and now. . .

"Yes, I’m sure.  This is good news I hope?"  Dr. Peterson laughed at Rose’s tentative question. 

"You don’t know—you can’t understand how much this means to me—to us."  She was giddy, itching to jump from the exam table and dance around the room.  Yell from the rooftop.  Good news?  More like absolutely freaking amazing news.

"Let’s get you started on some prenatal vitamins with folic acid.  You need the extra iron right now.  Go ahead and get dressed.  I’ll have my nurse call in the prescription and bring you in some information on what you’ll need to do, what you can expect over the next several weeks.  Call me if you’ve got any questions."  She smiled as she walked to the exam room door, paused with her hand on the doorknob.  Turning back around, she smiled.  "Congratulations again, Rose.  Give my best to Ryan."

Ryan
.  He’d be thrilled with the news, there was no doubt about that, she knew.  They’d tried for nearly a year.  Held her when she’d cried, rocked her on his lap and soothed away her tears when she hadn’t conceived.  Laughed and said he didn’t mind trying again and again until they got it right. 

Dressed and with all the prenatal information in hand, she climbed into her car and drove, her thoughts spinning with endless possibilities.  So absorbed in her thoughts, she didn’t even realize when she’d passed the street to turn off for her condo, just kept going, watching the road stretch endlessly in front of her.  Consciously she hadn’t meant to go there, but subconsciously her mind led and she followed.  Through the double wrought-iron gates and down the tree-lined lane. 

Pulling over to the right, onto the rocky shoulder, she put the car in park and stared at the stone markers all around her.  Shade trees dotted the landscape of the cemetery, giving the illusion of a field or meadow instead of a mass field of graves. All very dignified and austere, formal and manicured. 

Breathe, she thought.  Inhale.  Hold it—exhale.  Opening the car door, she slid out, standing on trembling legs.  Instinct and memory led her to the marker she sought.  Her brother-in-law and sister-in-law’s stone placard lay close to the ground.  No huge monuments or marble edifices here, all clean lines and modern final resting places.  They would’ve hated everything about it. 

Cross-legged she sat on the damp grass, still wet from the light dusting of snow earlier that morning, the temperatures a little too warm for it to stick to the ground.  Uncaring about any physical discomfort, she leaned forward and brushed her hand against the stone, fingertips lightly tracing Terry and Sharon’s names, the block letters permanently etched into the rock. 

"Hey guys.  I know it’s been a while since I’ve been by here.  Things are a little unsettled right now.  Ryan misses you so much, Terry.  And Sharon—I miss talking to my best girlfriend.  Sometimes I forget and I’ll pick up the phone to call you.  Even start punching in the numbers before I catch myself." 

She lifted her face toward the sky, closed her eyes as the cool breeze whispered across her cheeks.

"It’s been nearly two years since you’ve been gone.  Christmas is just around the corner.  Ryan and Jake went and got the tree.  They got it back unscathed this year."  She chuckled softly before continuing. 

"I got some news today—really big news and I wanted to share with you both.  I haven’t even told Ryan yet, I came straight here.  The thing is, well. . ."  Her voice trailed off to a whisper.

"We’re going to have a baby.  Yeah, I know, it hasn’t fully sunk in yet, doesn’t seem real but the doctor confirmed it.  Something so big, this stupendous I needed to share with the ones I love—who know how much this means to me and Ryan.  A baby."  Rose couldn’t contain the grin that spread across her face at the words, their full weight sinking deep.  "We’re having a baby!" 

Sunlight peeked from behind the clouds overhead, lighting up the damp grass all around her.  The droplets of water coating the blades of grass made the entire area look like a field of diamonds, refractions of color exploding around her.  Blues, reds, and yellows sparkled and twirled about and the joyousness of the scene added to her joy.  A sense of tranquility and joy enveloped her and deep in her soul she knew Terry and Sharon shared in her happiness. 

"We love you and miss you both so much.  There’s a place in our hearts that will always belong to you.  I promise I’ll come by again soon.  Maybe I can get Ryan to come with me."  A brief moment of sadness tugged at her heart as the knife twisted deep in her gut, knowing the words helped her but she heard the false ring in them.  Ryan hadn’t been back to visit his brother’s grave since the funeral, his refusal vehement, no changing his mind.