Second Down (Moving the Chains Book 2) (8 page)

Eva: Don’t tell Rob that I know.

I want it to be his decision.

Just like no one knows what’s going on in my head; there’s no possible way for them to know what’s running through his. It’s time for me to regain a little control over my life.

Chapter 9

Animal I Have Become

Rob

PTSD.

How is that even possible?

I’ve never been in a war zone.

I didn’t get attacked and bitten. Scarred.

The therapist is wrong.

Her diagnosis is wrong.

I don’t have PTSD.

I’m just a useless asshole.

A dumb jock.

Chapter 10

Try

Evie

Working my way through the pile of missed assignments on my desk is daunting enough, but not being able to completely focus only frustrates me more. The staples at the back of my head itch, my temples pound a slow, steady beat, and my mind keeps wandering. How did Rob’s therapy appointment go today? Were Rob and I really together? Even if only for a day?

How could I forget that?

Swirling thoughts and emotions flood through my mind. What if all my memories are corrupted now? Like some kind of laptop that took a beating or caught a virus. All the things I almost remember that confused me so much... a touch, a taste, a smell. Feeling happy and secure. It all makes sense now.

My hand wanders over my chest on autopilot. I suck in a harsh breath at the soreness that seems like it’ll never go away. The proof is here. Why can’t I remember it?

My Lit homework sits uncompleted in front of me, so I grab my phone. Girlfriend or not, I have to know if he’s disgusted by me.

Eva:  You there Superjock?

A few minutes go by with no response, so I turn back to my work. By ten, my eyelids won’t stay open. I’m not really absorbing any more information, so it’s time to call it quits and climb into bed. Just another day in hell tomorrow after all.

I’m all tucked in when my phone alerts me to a new text message.

Superjock:  Sorry.

Fell asleep.

Here now.

What’s up?

I’m glad he was sleeping. God knows he needs it. Why is he awake now? Exhaustion creeps over my tense muscles, and I honestly can’t even remember what I was going to say to him. So I type in the first thought that comes to mind.

Eva:  Shave that thing off your face.

You’re not in the playoffs yet.

It’s bad luck.

Superjock:  LOL, ok.

Anything for you, Evie.

            
 
Anything for me? That doesn’t sound like someone who broke up with me.

Eva:  And get some sleep.

Night.

Superjock:  Yes, ma’am.

Goodnight.

Clutching the phone in my hand, sleep is already beginning to claim me when the damn thing dings again, startling me into alertness.

Superjock:  Hey Evie?

Eva:  Yes Rob?

Superjock:  You wanna meet in the library tomorrow?

After practice? We could try to catch up on work

together like you asked.

Shit. Alex veered off-topic and never told me his plans for Rob’s birthday tomorrow. I haven’t even thought about it, too consumed with everything he
did
tell me. All I remember is that Alex wants me there. He wants Rob’s girlfriend there. Is this offer Rob’s way of getting back what I forgot? Did one therapy session change his outlook so drastically? If I reject him now, I might never find out.

Eva:  Can’t tomorrow.

Wednesday?

Superjock:  You’re not going back to

work already, are you?

Eva:  No. Not til next Tuesday

for work. Have plans tomorrow.

No big deal.

Wednesday after practice ok?

Superjock:  Sure. No problem. Have fun.

Eva:  Get some sleep, Rob.

Superjock:  Will do. Night.

Eva:  Sweet dreams.

There’s no reply after that, but I keep the phone in bed with me just in case. As I drift off to sleep, thoughts of what to get Rob for his birthday float through my mind. He deserves an eighteenth birthday that will be impossible to forget.

Chapter 11

The Memory

Rob

Alex picks me up with what he proclaims a “birthday coffee” waiting in the cup holder and a grin on his face. Holy shit. I’m eighteen today. I’d actually forgotten. Then he congratulates me on relearning how to use a razor. I don’t tell him Evie asked me to shave. That’s need to know, and he doesn’t.

The traditional locker room birthday pranks ensue before, during, and after conditioning. By the time I’m showered and walking up to the senior hallway, I’m actually feeling half human. Until I see what the cheerleaders have done to my locker. They nail all the athletes on their birthday throughout the year, and today is no exception. I don’t deserve this kind of attention, but I’m going to have to thank Rachel later for making sure they’re not lined up for birthday kisses as is their usual MO. That was awkward enough in years past, but this year? Hell to the no.

Shoving past the streamers and balloons, my gaze drifts up to the white box that’s perched on top of my locker. I’m very familiar with these boxes. They’re the same ones that usually contain a cupcake for Evie. Glancing around the hallway, nothing seems suspicious. Alex isn’t paying any attention, so I rip the sticky note off the top before he can see it and start with me.

Happy Birthday, Superjock!

Love, Evie

My heart misfires, remembering the only time she told me she loved me. The loud hallway filled with my classmates fades away to be replaced with eerily quiet woods.

             
Between my blood covered hands and sweat-slick skin, keeping a firm grip on her is next to impossible. No matter how much I adjust, she won’t stay in my arms.

She fades in and out of consciousness, and that’s what scares me the most. Why is there so much blood? Nothing happened that would make her bleed like this. Where is it all coming from?

My stomach rolls as my muscles tremble out of control. She slides down my chest again.

The terror that grips me fights my every forward step.

“Don’t hurt me,” she pleads, slurring her words.

My vision blurs. Without knowing when it happened, tears stream down my face. “I’d never…I’m so sorry, Evie.”

She continues, my words not even registering. “My boyfriend’s going to kill you.”  

Her head drops against my chest like a lead balloon. She’s out again.

A loud sob echoes in the forest.

“Evie, stay awake and talk to me. Don’t close your eyes, honey. Stay awake.”

She comes to with a gasp, gripping my shirt in her bloody fists, burying her face into my neck, and panting. “Rob. Rob, did he rape me?”

“No, baby. He didn’t rape you. You’re safe now. I’ve got you. He’ll never get near you again.”  

Her hands relax and silence surrounds us once more. Gotta at least get far enough to have cell service to call for help. The hollow is a dead zone.

“He’s going to kill you. He’s one of the strongest guys I know. He’ll kill you for this.”

She thinks I’m Jackson.

She struggles against me, trying to break free from my arms. Nothing has ever hurt more.

“Evie, it’s me. It’s Rob.
Your
Rob. Ssh, calm down. God, I’m so sorry.”

She sobs into my shirt, shredding my heart with each tear she cries. A rock on the path nearly fells us both. Nothing matters but getting her help. There’s too much blood. She needs help.

One more step. Another falter. Shift her higher. Hold her tighter. Fend off another struggle. Don’t cry. One more step.

Somebody, please, help us.

“If you rape me, Rob’s going to kill you.” Her cries grow louder. “Please, don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me, Jackson. I don’t want you. I love Rob. Don’t do this to me. I love him…”

            
 
Alex shakes me until my open locker comes into focus.

              “Hey man, you all right?”

              I have never been less all right in my life.

              I glance down the hall to where she stands in front of her locker, watching me. She gives me a small smile and waves. Mouths, “Happy Birthday.”

              Bile rises in my throat at the sight of her.

              She’s the most beautiful girl in the hall, but all I see when I look at her is blood.

              The longer I stare, trying not to throw up in the middle of the hallway, the more the memories rush over me.

              Evie frowns.

And then she walks away.

That’s probably the safest thing to do. For both of us.

Chapter 12

The High Road

Eva

It’s Friday. Game day. I will not be afraid. I will be me. I will not be afraid. I have worked too hard for this. I will not be afraid. It’s game day. I will not be afraid. I love band. I will not be afraid. I love football. I will not be afraid. I actually have a lot of school spirit. I will not be afraid. I will be friendly. I will not be afraid.

“Ooh, make sure to vote for Rob and I for Homecoming Court. I mean, it’s obvious that we’ll be crowned king and queen, but you could at least pitch in since you nearly ruined the guy.”

Okay, not afraid. Pissed the fuck off. Thank you, Kerri. Home room hell is getting my game day off to a great start. Not.

“You know you two aren’t a couple, right?”

And thank you, Mike.

Mike Mitchell for Court, check. And even though I do it grudgingly, Chelsie Stewart. Check. She hasn’t reamed my ass out for all the time Mike’s been spending with me, so I guess that’s an improvement.

“Not officially, but he’s warming up to the idea, and you all know it. If it weren’t for all the TLC I’ve been giving him, he’d still be as broken as he was last week. Look how quickly I’ve fixed him.”  

If I have to hear one more damn story about how Kerri’s “saved” Rob, I’m going to die. Or strangle her. Or claw her eyes out. Something. It’s like she doesn’t even notice that he hardly ever smiles, and the twinkle in his eyes is gone. I used to miss the old, shy Rob over the obnoxious jock he turned into last year. I wish I could say that he’s just gone back to being himself. It’s so much more than that, though. Rob is a shell of himself.

And he wants nothing to do with me.

Either Kerri never knew we were together, or she was first in line when everyone realized we were broken up. My bet’s on the latter; she’s totally the type to rub salt in the wound.

“The day Rob Falls is into you is the day monkeys fly out of my ass.” Trust Jess to be more vulgar than Mike about it, but I appreciate her sentiment.

“Well, you all can just eat dirt when we’re announced as partners for Court at the pep rally.” The confidence in Kerri’s voice twists the knife in my heart.

“Whatever. I know who I’m voting for.” Jess shoots Mike a quick wink as she folds her ballot and walks it to the front.

Shaking his head, Mike continues frowning and checking boxes on his own paper. “This is not a good idea, Jess, and you know it.”

I wince when it occurs to me that they’re voting for
me
and Rob. I agree with Mike; it’s not a good idea to force Rob into something he clearly doesn’t want. Or someone.

“Oh, like it’s not gonna happen anyway. Even if none of us voted for them, you know everyone else will. It’ll work out, just have some faith.”

“Thank you for your vote of confidence. She’s right, Mike. Everyone else is going to vote for us anyway.” Kerri smiles sweetly at all the other students in homeroom.

It sickens me to think Kerri might be right; especially if the rest of the school also believes Rob’s back on the market.

***

So far, so good. I’m keeping my panic to a minimum and focusing on doing what I love; what I’ve worked so hard for. Focusing on my band in front of me. Focusing on Alex making funny faces at me. He’s been trying his hardest to suck up to me ever since the big reveal.

When our principal, Dr. Filardi, steps up to the mic to announce Court, I scan the room until my gaze lands on Kerri. She looks like she’s gonna puke with anticipation. Honestly, I hope they announce Rob escorting anyone but her.

Though I don’t dare talk to him, I can’t help but feel fiercely protective of the big guy. As if it wasn’t enough to discover that a sweet, shy boy has been hiding underneath all that muscle and popularity this whole time, now I have definitive proof of what a good man he really is. How many guys would be this broken up about witnessing an attack on someone? How many guys would swoop in and be an actual hero? These days, people are too afraid to help, too fearful to put themselves in harm’s way, or be stepping on someone else’s toes in this lawsuit-happy society. According to all the stories I’ve been told, Rob didn’t hesitate. He saw me in trouble and reacted without thinking to save me.

Sure, he doesn’t want me anymore, but I don’t blame him. If I could escape myself, I would. Besides, it’s easier to believe I’m not good enough for him. I often find myself wondering how I reacted to the news that he supposedly had a crush on me since ninth grade. I still can’t wrap my head around that, even though I’ve apparently been told twice. It can’t be true.

Sneaking a quick glance in his direction, he looks the same as he has all week.

Crushed.

And I’m helpless to change that fact. Even the little cupcake I gave him for his birthday only seemed to make him worse. Which is why I bailed on his birthday dinner and didn’t set foot near the library like we’d discussed. Other than biology class, Rob and I have nothing to do with each other. I have no clue how to fix what I’ve broken from a distance. I just know I’d give anything to see him smile again; for him to tell me he’ll be okay.

Maybe Homecoming week will be just the thing to cheer him up.

Most of the names that have been announced so far are no surprise. The established senior couples, even Jeremy and Alyssa are elected. When Dr. Filardi calls out my name, I’m floored. It has to be some sort of mistake. Just when I think I can’t be any more shocked, she announces Rob as my escort. Now I know I heard wrong. This can’t be right.

Everyone knows we’re not together anymore.

But when I look at him, the sheer panic on his face mirrors my own, and I realize I heard correctly. Because being paired with anyone else wouldn’t put that look on his face. Nope. Only I can do that.

He doesn’t break eye contact as he rises from his chair and makes his way toward me. I can’t move. Jess actually pushes me out of my seat until I’m standing in front of Rob as he holds his arm out for me to take. I’m still too confused to know what else to do, so I clutch onto him like a lifeline, pretty sure that the only thing keeping me upright is him.

Awkward silence blankets us as we line up in front of the student body with the rest of the nominees.

“Um.” I clear my throat of building panic in an attempt to break the tension. “How…how are you? How was your birthday?”

Instead of the cocky quarterback from the beginning of the year who would have made direct eye contact with the whole gym, oozing swagger and sex appeal, the damaged boy beside me keeps his gaze firmly fixed on the ground. His cheeks are flushed red, reminiscent of the first day I met him. His voice is so soft, I barely hear him over the din of the pep rally. “It was fine. Thank you for asking.”

The words are uttered in a robotic, monotone way as if making simple conversation with me is merely a byproduct of being polite.

“I’m so sorry. I’ll fix this...somehow. I wonder if I can decline?” I draw a deep breath, but it does nothing to counteract the increasing pace of my heartbeat. “I’ll just talk to the sponsors or something. I mean, they can’t force someone to be on court, right? There has to be an option to say no.”

His answer is immediate, which shocks me a bit. “If there is, I’ve never heard of it happening before. Why would you decline? You deserve to be up here.”

“Uh, no. You’re the popular one, not me. I’m just the pity vote.”

“No, you’re not, Evie.”  

Something in the tone of his voice makes me look up at him, only to find him already staring at me. “You’re up here because people love you. Because you’re nice to everyone, and you do so much for this school. I’ve told you a million times. You are popular, you just don’t act like it, and that’s what makes everyone look up to you.”

The fact that he’s actually engaging in conversation stuns me almost as much as my nomination. “Rob, please. I’m up here because I was on the freaking news. They feel bad for me after what happened. That’s all this is.”

“Listen to me, okay? People don’t feel bad for you. They admire you. You’re the strongest person I know, and they all probably think so too. Everyone loved you before this, but now? You’re like some kind of badass that nothing and no one can bring down.”

I can’t stop the smile that tugs at the corner of my mouth, in spite of the tears that well in my eyes. “We’re paired together because I’m the damsel in distress, and you’re the badass who saved me. This is a freaking joke.”

He finally pulls his gaze away. “Yeah…I don’t think that’s why we’re paired together. But, I’ll fix it. I don’t want to do this anyway. You’ve earned this, and you belong up here. You stay on Court; I’m going to decline.”

If I needed any more proof that we’re over, he’s just delivered it.

We’re standing in front of the entire student body. The panic that I’ve been fighting against weighs me down with the finality in his tone. It’s like every set of eyes is trained on me, seeing right through my flimsy mask as if they all know everything I’m hiding.

Tightening my grip on Rob’s arm, it takes everything in me to choke out my words. “Rob, don’t make me do this alone.”

“You won’t be alone. They’ll assign you another escort. Probably whoever was next up in the voting.”

“Truth or dare, Falls.”

I can feel his eyes on me, but I can’t stop looking at the crowd. Watching them, watch me.

“Huh?”

“Truth or dare,” I grind out.

“Uh....truth?”

“You make me feel better. I don’t know why. But, when I can smell you nearby, or I can feel you, it just...I don’t know. It makes me feel less afraid.”  

“Wait. What?”

“I didn’t wanna tell you. I don’t want you to feel responsible for me the way Mike and Alex do. I know you can’t stand to be around me anymore, and that’s okay because I totally get it. But if you resign from Court, then I will too, because there’s no way I’ll make it through this without you. So just let me decline, and you stay.”

My words come out in a rush, but I can’t think straight. I can’t catch my breath. Everything looks fuzzy, and oh, God. I might just pass out.

Rob’s other hand folds over mine that squeezes his arm like a vice. His rough fingers sweep over my knuckles in a slow, soft, rhythmic pattern.

“Evie, I’m right here. It’s okay. Just breathe. In and out. Just breathe. I won’t let you go.”  

His soft voice coaxes my body to obey, and soon my vision clears. Whatever is announced floats beyond my comprehension, but then a younger cheerleader stands in front of us and hands Rob a packet of papers. He quickly takes them, then resumes his motion against my hand that still grips his elbow too tightly.

The crowd cheers. He tells me to smile, so I do, and then he leads me back over to my safe zone. Back to the band.

It’s over.

The rest of the pep rally passes by in a haze, but I muddle through. The next thing I’m completely lucid about is getting into my locker after dismissal, packing my bag for the weekend, and listening to Jess carry on about being elected to court with Ashton. It’s Alyssa’s day to take me home, so Jess gives me a quick hug in parting.

At least someone is happy about being elected to Homecoming Court.

“Truth or dare, Papageorgiou.” His voice is as soft and soothing as it was at the pep rally.

I startle because I never heard or saw his approach. He’s just suddenly...here.

I’m so pissed at myself for the things I revealed to him in my panic. “Dare.”

When he laughs it sounds just like the old Rob. I can’t resist peeking my head out of my locker to check if he looks like his old self too. Pretty damn close. It’s the first time I’ve seen a genuine smile on his face since I came back to school.

Did I actually put it there?

“You’re such a smartass. Okay, fine. I dare you to stay on Homecoming Court.”

This feels so close to normal. I narrow my eyes at him like I would’ve done before everything went to hell. “Mmm, no. I changed my mind. Truth.”

When he leans toward me, I take full advantage of his closeness and breathe in his indescribable scent as deeply as I can. I try to get my fill every day in Bio, and ninety minutes out of the whole day is a nice reprieve, but it’s not nearly long enough.

“I really feel the need to point out to you that you played it all wrong back there in the gym. When someone picks truth, they’re supposed to tell
you
something that’s true, not the other way around.”

I try to stop the blush I feel spreading across my cheeks. Rob always calls me out when I’m wrong. I guess that hasn’t changed. “Yeah. I panicked. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to tell you that.”

“I miss you.”

I blink. Did I hear him right?

His honest eyes leave no room for doubt, but when he barely grazes my cheek with his knuckles, I still flinch.

He pulls away like my small, reflexive movement burned him. “I’m sorry.”

His gaze casts downward, his shoulders slumped in defeat, and the moment is gone.

“No, I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It’s not you, I swear. I just...I’m trying, but it’s hard.”