Second Thoughts (3 page)

“I mean about getting cold feet.”

Aubrey looked down at her hands and then into Granny Ruby's kind blue eyes.

“Kind of,” she squeaked, the lump in her throat growing bigger.

“There's nothing to be ashamed of, my dear, it happens to most brides. I know the feeling first hand; it happened to me, too.”

“It did?”

“Mmmhmmm, it sure did. And it happened to my mother before me, too. She told me her story on my wedding day and it helped me to calm my nerves. What are you nervous about, darling? Is it that you feel that you don't know him well enough? That you're not sure if you're ready to marry yet?”

It was unnerving how spot on her great-grandmother was. She nodded her head and said, “That's pretty much it. I love Nick, of that I have no doubt, but all of a sudden I feel like we're rushing into this. I know it's silly, I had our whole engagement to think this through and it is just hitting me now. I feel sort of foolish that I didn't think of this earlier; I should have stopped myself and realized that I was moving too fast.”

Granny Ruby smiled at her with kind eyes. “Time is relative, my dear. My mother and father were married for over sixty years. That's a long time, isn't it? They had one of the most loving marriages, full of devotion and inspiration for anyone that knew them. It was the of our whole family-they had eight children, 40 grandchildren, 63 great-grandchildren and so far, 13 great-great-grandchildren. Hopefully you will add to that number, too. So many beautiful, wonderful human beings have come from that union of love”

“Wow,” Aubrey said.

“Yes, wow, indeed. But like I said, time is relative. You've known Nick for six months and that is seeming to you like a short time. But do you know how long my mother and father knew each other before they were married?

Aubrey shook her head.

Granny's eyes twinkled as she spoke. “They didn't meet until the day they got married?”

Aubrey stared at Granny in confusion. “What? How can that be?” She wondered if Granny had misspoke or if there was a punchline coming.

But Granny just smiled, that same twinkle still in her eyes.

“You heard me right. They met the day they married. You see, your great-great grandmother was a mail order bride. She answered an ad placed by a man looking for a wife. My father was one of the first settlers in an area were women were scarce and he thought it the best way to find a wife for himself. And as for my mother, well, she never told me the reason she decided to become a mail order bride to a man she'd never met, but she did tell me that it took her whole family by surprise. But her mind was made up, she went out west to meet her husband on the day they wed and they made it worked. Because both of them were committed to making it work. They grew to love each other and were committed to each other. They went to church, worked hard, raised their family and when problems arose, as they do in every marriage, my dear-there is no marriage that is immune to the challenges of life, they worked through them together, always as a team. They taught me that a marriage is made of respect, kindness and compromise.”

“I can't even imagine marrying someone I'd never met.”

“Your great-great-grandmother Rose was a strong woman. You remind me a lot of her and it's only fitting you were named for her. She trusted her instincts and I trust mine. My instincts tell me that Nick is a good man. In the short time I've known him, he has displayed grace, patience, kindness and a great love for you, my dear. Will there be surprises ahead  for the two of you? I'm sure of it. Life is full of surprises and bends in the road. It makes the journey interesting. But you shouldn't let a fear of that unknown road rob you from a lifetime of happiness.”

Aubrey felt her eyes fill with tears. Granny held Aubrey's hands in hers. “I hope I made you feel a little better, dear.”

“You have,” Aubrey said, her voice shaky, “I know that you're right. Nick is a good man. What's  wrong with me?”

“Nothing, my dear, other than you're human. Nobody's perfect, not your self, nor Nick. Nobody. Never expect perfection but find the good in everyone. And you have a good head on your shoulders. In time, I hope you learn to trust your instincts as I've learned to trust mine. I think you and your cousin Hannah have both picked wonderful men to spend your lives with and I have no worries for future.  Ben and Nick are wonderful men. Now your sister, on the other hand, that's one I have to worry about.”

Aubrey laughed as Granny headed back toward the door. “I know there's not much time left before the ceremony, so I'll find my way back to my seat, dear. I will be there to support you and am so happy for you and Nick.”

“Thank you so much, Granny, I can always count on you to make me feel better when I need it most. What would I do without you?”

She leaned in the doorway, watching Granny Ruby walk back down the hall and feeling a sense of calm wash over her. She momentarily even forgot about her anxiety until she was startled by Nick's voice behind her.

“I know I'm not supposed to see you yet, but Katie told me it was urgent that I talk to you and gave me this list of odd questions.  Am I on some kind of hidden camera show?”

She spun around to face him but before she could answer, he began to read from the list, “How do you feel about guinea pigs?”

“Umm, it's a long story. Come in here for a minute, please.”

She pulled him into the study and leaned in to give him a hug.

“She told me you were upset, you don't seem upset.”

He pulled away from her as he looked her over from head to toe. “And, oh my gosh, Aubrey, I don't even have the words to tell you how beautiful you are.”

She felt her eyes well up again. “Thank you. I know I'm breaking all sorts of taboos by having you see me right now, but I'm glad Katie sent you. I was really messed up when I talked to her.”

“But you're better now? And you never told me what all these questions are about.”

“I'm feeling a little better now.” She took the list out of his hands and saw that he answered the questions, every single one. She didn't even care what the answers were, the fact that he answered them all spoke volumes.

“Sorry about the questions. After what happened last night with the whole name thing, I just started freaking out about how little we actually know about each other. I was even having second thoughts about going through with this today.”

“I know everything I need to know about you. I never would have asked you to marry me if I didn't love you. I know that I don't know everything about you, and who knows, maybe I never will. But that's the fun part of this journey we're starting together. It will be full of surprises, but I know there's nothing we can't handle together.”

Aubrey smiled at him. It was practically the same advice that Granny Ruby had given her. Her instincts were right.

She was almost ready to move on but there was one issue that was still nagging her. “I agree completely. We are on a journey together. For the rest of our lives. And the only way I can do that is to ask for your complete honesty. Do you promise to always be honest with me, Nick?”

He looked slightly confused. “Of course. I've always been honest with you.”

“Katie told me that Tracy had been pregnant. That you lost your baby. You never told me about it before. And I know it's not exactly lying, but it's also something pretty big that happened to you and you never told me about it. Why couldn't you trust me to tell me that?”

A stunned look came over him. He lifted a hand and ran it through his dark hair and walked over to the window overlooking the guests that she had been looking through just a short time ago. He looked back at her and said, “I'm sorry. You are right, I should have told you. I don't know why I didn't, it's just one of those things that are hard to talk about even though I'm over it. I remember when I told you about Tracy, I thought to myself, someday I can tell her about the baby. But the opportunity never came up again, to be honest. I mean, I rarely think about it anymore.”

He walked over to her and grabbed her hands in his. She loved the feel of his strong hands wrapped around hers. Her eyes met his as he went on. “Aubrey Gray, I will say it to you now, I will say it in my vows, I will say it every day. You are the love of my life. I will always be honest with you and always love and protect you. I can't promise that I won't make mistakes but only that I will do my best to always make you happy.”

She felt like a fool for every questioning that they were meant to be together. He embraced her and kissed her forehead. She looked up at him with eyes full of love.

“I wonder if it breaks any taboos if I kiss the bride before the ceremony.”

“Just a quick one, Mr. Smalley. Our guests are waiting.”

He smiled as he leaned in and their lips met in a passionate kiss that gave Aubrey a tingle that went down her spine. She could get used to being kissed like that every day for the rest of her life.

The two of them made their way to the foyer where the rest of the wedding party was waiting for them to begin their trek out to the rose garden and down the aisle. And as she walked down that aisle, she winked at her Granny Ruby as she passed and silently hoped that she could be as strong as women in her family before her. After a heartfelt ceremony among the roses, they were pronounced husband and wife. And when the minister introduced them for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Nick Smalley, she felt Nick give her hand a squeeze as they made their way back down the aisle, the first steps of the journey that she knew they were meant to take together. And Aubrey thought to herself, you know, 'Aubrey Smalley' doesn't sound so bad after all.

THE END

Author’s Note: Thank you for purchasing this ebook,

I hope that you enjoyed the story of Aubrey and Nick.

I invite you to read the sweet love story of how Aubrey's cousin Hannah met Ben, in
Hannah's Christmas Hope
, available in Kindle Edition.

Hannah Miller has adjusted to life after losing her husband three years ago, focusing on building a future for herself and her young son, Andrew. Falling in love again is the last thing on her mind.

After the family dog, Shadow, runs away, Andrew makes two Christmas wishes: to get his dog back and to get a new dad. When Shadow is returned by a handsome stranger, Andrew thinks both wishes have been answered.

Ben Murphy is an attractive veterinarian with a big heart and Hannah has a hard time controlling her emotions when she’s near him. But after a startling- discovery, she wonders if another chance at love is too much to hope for after all.

And if you'd like to read the historical sweet romance of the wedding of Aubrey's Great-Great-Grandma Rose that was mentioned in the story, watch for
Mail Order Bride
coming in July 2013.

I love hearing from readers; you can contact me at
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