Secret Dream: Delos Series, 1B1 (11 page)

And just as she started to collapse from it, Cav held her more strongly, entrapping her, pumping far into her, releasing himself, feeling the hot spurt of sperm-laden juices flow into her open, receptive body. He kept thrusting deeply, feeling his entire body becoming galvanized by the raw pleasure exploding through him and into her. And just as it did, Lia collapsed beneath him. He instantly released her nape and gently gathered her into his arms afterward, holding her in place, taking her weight as she gasped, moaning his name, so weak she couldn’t stand or kneel on her own any longer. She had buckled into a heap beneath him and he embraced her, keeping her safe, keeping her well loved with his arms and his large body, his cock nestled within her, mating with her.

Weakness flooded Cav but he held strong for Lia. Slowly, he remained locked within her quivering body and brought her off her knees, guiding her to her left side. He curved around her damp, shaking form, her hands gripping his arms just below her breasts, cheek resting wearily against his shoulder where they laid their heads on the pillow.

“I’ve got you, baby,” he rasped, kissing her damp temple, the hair tickling him. She was sobbing and shaking. Cav understood that she wanted pregnancy so badly that her response came from happiness, not sorrow. He held and cradled her against the bulk of his body, which curved protectively around hers, kissing her gently, laving her exposed, damp neck with his tongue, feeling her react and wanting more of his touches and care. It was so easy to be tender with her, still fused with her. Cav wouldn’t take her again. At least, not right now. He knew the culmination of the new position, with the utterly mind-melting sensations it created, plus wanting him to impregnate her, had combined to avalanche through her. Lia needed time to assimilate it all. They had the rest of the night.

Eventually, her tears stopped and she lay quiet, her hands gripping his lower arms around her, holding her close to him. Cav continued to give her that feeling of safety that she still needed. Someday, Lia would work through the rest of her trauma and not need him as much in that particular way, but until then, he would shield her, love her, and give her that safe harbor to heal within. Moving his hand slowly from around her rib cage, he splayed out his fingers across her damp abdomen. His flesh was sun darkened against the pearlescence of her rounded belly. Beneath his palm lay that scar, but now, Cav hoped that Lia gave no thought to it at all. Instead, he hoped fervently that her focus, her heart, was on tonight, on them, on the wild, animal mating they’d just completed. And more than anything, he hoped that she was now pregnant with their child. A sense of such euphoria, of male pride and power, surged through Cav. He’d loved Lia with everything he had just now. He had been tender and gentle with her, wanting this time to be special, to be perfect, to allow her to cooperate fully so that this ancient mating ritual would gift them with a baby they both wanted.

C
av watched Lia
sleep. He had awakened earlier as moonlight drizzled into the room, the beams highlighting her soft, peaceful-looking face. Her thick lashes lying against her cheeks, the way her perfectly shaped lips were parted, the trust she had in him as she lay curved against his body—it all made his heart swell with so much love, he nearly felt overwhelmed with the emotion. He had never loved.
Until Lia.
And she had somehow, miraculously, opened him up and pried him out of that dark, toxic place that he’d lived within.

Grazing her softly curled sable hair, which glinted with moonbeam-washed light, bringing out the crimson and gold highlights within the strands, he allowed his hand to drift down and slide protectively over her abdomen, watching her breasts barely rise and fall in her deep, healing slumber. He moved his hand tenderly across her belly, wanting her to be pregnant with his child.
His
child. When in his life had he ever thought in those parameters? He’d always been afraid of impregnating a woman for that very reason: if she got pregnant, he’d be responsible for another life.

It was the specter of his father that had scared him into believing he could never be any good at being a parent. He was, after all, his father’s seed. Cav had always been concerned about that, questioning whether he would be like his father to his own children. He had reason to be scared. Eighteen years’ worth of pain, terror, and suffering beneath his own father’s fists had stained him with that fear.

With Lia that angst had magically dissolved, and Cav didn’t know when or how it had happened. Only that it had. He no longer questioned whether he could love a baby created by himself and this woman. He no longer worried that he’d strike his child as he had been struck by his father. Because Lia had drawn out a side of him he never knew existed until he met her. She’d changed him with her smile; with the hope she held for the children of La Fortuna, Costa Rica; and with the care she gave to others without a thought for herself. She was a giver; that was all there was to it. He’d been a taker, he realized.

He moved his fingers tenderly across her belly, feeling the soft velvet of her flesh, that scar a vivid reminder that Lia had come so close to dying. Cav shut his eyes, a tumult of savage emotions washing through him. Maybe he was more primal, more animal than man, as some saw SEALs. They were, after all, hunters and predators of the first order. And when it came to protecting Lia against a world gone mad, he was a savage on two legs. His hand stilled against her; he wanted so much for her to be pregnant. That would change him too, but he wasn’t afraid of it.

Lia came from a happy home, a functional one where love ruled, not the rage and physical and emotional abuse that he had grown up with. He tried to picture in his mind how their baby might look. He sincerely hoped their child would take after Lia; he did not see anything remarkable about himself at all except that he was a survivor. Perhaps he could give their child that so necessary will to survive, to be a fighter and never give up. Lia shared that with him, no question.

He found it amazing that he was dreaming of a future when he used to be someone who never looked beyond the day he was living in. With Lia, he dreamed every day. Her smile had infused him with hope again after he’d lost it so long ago. He liked looking through her eyes to see life the way she saw it. She saw the world in kinder tints and shades. He used to see only danger and death. Now he saw far beyond those things, feeling how much she had broadened him in such a short amount of time.

Sadness filtered through him because he wondered about his mother, Elizabeth. Had she fallen in love with his father? Thought he was the love of her life? And then sleeping with him, becoming pregnant by him, must have thrown their relationship as fifteen-year-olds into chaos. His mother had loved him; that he knew without question. He couldn’t conceive of turning on Lia as his father had turned on his mother.

Leaning down, his nose nestled among her soft curls, Cav inhaled Lia’s special scent. Even now, he could smell their combined sex fragrance, which still enveloped them. The woman turned him on in every possible way, hardened him as she was doing right now even though she was in a deep slumber. Cav had no desire to awaken Lia. He knew she was still exhausted by the last months of her life, still climbing out of that attack on her in Costa Rica. He knew because some nights as they slept together in his condo, she would have flashbacks. The nightmares were powerful, and Cav was glad he was there to hold her after she jerked awake, screaming, from them.

Maybe carrying a baby would be the best thing that could happen to her right now. Cav wasn’t sure, but he did know she was a natural mother, so damned maternal and loving, that being able to carry a child in her body would have to have an incredibly healing, positive effect upon her. He didn’t think that Lia would see being pregnant as a burden. Or a stress. Just the opposite. He nestled his face in her hair, inhaling her, absorbing her in slumber, a starving man whose soul had been so fractured, now healing simply because she loved him. And he loved her.

He lay down, his arm slipping quietly beneath her neck, his hand protectively over her belly, and Cav closed his eyes, never happier. Never more content than he was in this moment. His last thought as he drifted off into darkness was that Lia’s love was healing him. And all he wanted now was to be able to love her as deeply as she loved him, and continue to help her bind her own wounds, and then blossom. Never had life been more precious to Cav than it was in that seminal, fluid moment that wrapped fiercely around his heart and wrapped around Lia. In one way, they had saved one another’s lives. The power of love amazed Cav. He’d had no idea of its potency, its depth or breadth, until Lia walked into his life.

*

Lia awoke slowly,
feeling sated and fulfilled. She stretched, lifting her arms and extending her legs beneath the sheet on the bed where she lay. The bliss was still radiating deep within her womb and it made her smile, her heart wide open, filled with such joy and promise. She saw Cav sitting at the end of the bed, dressed, watching her with a tender look burning in his eyes. She gave him a sleepy smile of hello.

“Hey . . . how long have you been sitting there?” she asked, her voice thick with drowsiness.

“Not long,” he rasped, moving his hand to her foot, which nearly touched his hip. “How do you feel this morning? A little sore?”

Rubbing her eyes, she mumbled, “No . . . I feel . . . wonderful, Cav. I feel so happy I can’t explain it.” She slowly sat up, absorbing his dark, shadowed features. The sun hadn’t risen yet, but grayish light peeked around the curtains of the window, just enough so she could see his strong, roughly hewn features.

“I was worried that last night maybe that position caused you some discomfort.”

“Oh,” she sighed, resting her hands in her lap as she crossed her legs beneath the covers. “No . . . it was . . . wow . . . something else.”

“It’s an ancient position.”

She studied him, his features somber but his hazel eyes glinting with love and concern for her. Feeling Cav’s unspoken worry, she said, “I felt . . . well . . . it was so animal-like, so primal.”

“I didn’t scare you, did I?”

Shaking her head, she whispered, “You have
never
scared me, Cav. I trust you with my life. And you saved me from being kidnapped. Why wouldn’t I trust you when we’re loving one another?”

He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “I got into it a little too much,” he offered, giving her a look of apology. “It’s a position I really prefer because it brings something out in me I can’t explain. It feels natural and instinctive.”

Her lips pursed and she gave him a playful glance. “Oh, it was all of that. I loved every moment of it, Cav. I didn’t know what to expect, but you were so good in holding me, guiding me, and then”—she dragged in a deep breath—“how you took me. It just did something wonderful inside me, as if my body recognized it and I became consumed by it.” She saw relief come to his half-closed eyes. “You didn’t hurt me. I loved it.” She reached out, sliding her hand down his hard curved thigh, the denim tickling the pads of her fingertips.

“Good,” he breathed, lightening up. “I didn’t explain it very well. I should have before we started.”

“Well,” she said wryly, “we were kind of caught up in the moment. I sprang it on you. To make a baby together? It doesn’t get more fundamental than how we felt last night, don’t you think?”

“No, it was good. I was just concerned, that’s all, Lia.”

“I’m such a greenhorn,” she said, holding his dark stare. “And I love learning from you.”

“Over time we’ll do a lot of other experimenting with one another if you want. I never want to make you scared or uncomfortable. Loving you is the most right thing I’ve ever done in my life and I always want it to be good for you.”

She stretched again, yawning. “Loving you last night surpassed anything we’ve done together so far, Cav. I felt as if I were in rapture. It’s the only thing I can think to describe it. When you took my nape, holding me like that, it did something incredibly powerful within me. I felt myself responding so deeply to everything you did to me that I still get quivers here.” She moved her hand lightly across her covered belly. “It was wonderful.
You
were wonderful.” She pushed the covers aside, getting to her hands and knees and moving to where he sat. His eyes lightened and she felt even more relief surrounding him. Because Cav had been beaten so much as a young child, she knew he was extraordinarily careful about hurting her.

She crawled into his awaiting embrace, sitting across his lap, her arm coming around his back, resting her head against his shoulder, meeting his warming gaze. Relishing the strength of his arm curving comfortingly around her, he moved his other hand across her belly.

“Do you feel pregnant?”

She laughed and nuzzled his jaw, kissing his neck. “I feel happy. I’ve never been pregnant, so I don’t know.” She covered his hand with hers, noting how small and slender hers was against his sunburned, larger one. “If I don’t have my period in two weeks, I think that’s when we’ll know.”