Secret Garden (19 page)

She pressed a hand to her head. “But... I thought he was headed home to Texas?”

“Evidently not, miss. At present he’s standing beside your studio door. I believe he’s knocking.”

Rhiannon jumped to her feet, wiping the grass from her skirt.

“I’m on my way,” she said into the phone.

“A reminder, miss—we have a landscaping crew on the grounds today.”

“Yes. Thank you, Paul.”
Drat.
Of course they did.

As fast as she could, she pocketed her phone and rushed to the garden door, carefully relocking it behind her. Peering around the corner with stealth and care, she spotted Colin at the end of the walkway, knocking on the door leading up to her studio.

Her heart did a crazy Highland fling in her chest. Colin looked like a
GQ
model, dressed in a casual suit. He was clean-shaven and his eyes a bright blue. She gazed at him longer than she should have.

No.
No more schoolgirl-with-a-crush behavior. Her best course of action would be to appear perfectly composed, serene, diplomatic—everything she should have been from the first moment she’d bumped into him on the estate. She could do that now—she’d had more practice interacting with him since then.

Backtracking quietly, she managed to make it seem as if she’d just come from inside the yew maze. Without warning, she stood behind him, her hands clasped. “Hello, Colin.”

He jumped, then turned. “Hello.” He stepped back, not meeting her eyes. “I hope I haven’t disturbed you.”

Right away, Rhiannon saw that he was being overly formal. The distance he kept from her and the gaze that seemed to avoid settling too long on her face told her that he didn’t want to get too close, either.

“No, you haven’t disturbed me,” she said, equally polite. “How are your grandparents?”

“They’re fine.” He shifted a rucksack he wore over his shoulder. “You should know I’m staying for one more week to get to know them, and also to train at Kildrammond for my upcoming tournament.”

Her mouth opened. If he’d told her he was leaving to join the circus, she couldn’t have been more surprised.

“My grandmother explained to me why you did what you did,” he said.

Her heart slowed. “Oh?”

“Yes. I understand you’d like to act as the lady of the estate.”

She felt her lips pressing together. “Is
that
what Jessie said?” Her voice was a bit cooler than she would’ve liked.

He gazed at her, this time meeting her eyes. “I don’t want anger between us, Rhiannon.”

“Of course not,” she agreed.

“I was in the village with Jessie today. We saw the bagpipers practicing their marching drills, and Jessie told me about the gathering on Saturday. She told me about the lady’s duties—greeting the bagpipers and visitors in the front grounds before they march off to the fairgrounds. You’re going to do all that, I assume?”

“No.” Involuntarily she shuddered.

He glanced at her, surprised. “Why not?”

Because it’s too much for me. Because I’ve already failed at my attempts to be lady of the estate, numerous times.

He tilted his head. “Rhiannon? Are you giving up? Don’t give up on my account.”

“On
your
—?”

Just then, the sounds of two other people holding a conversation drifted toward them—the landscaping crew, most likely. Adrenaline filled her—that old fear. She didn’t want to be seen, especially by strangers.

“Come inside,” she whispered, gesturing to Colin. “Just inside the entryway. Quickly.”

But Colin misunderstood her. With an easy gait, he stepped inside the open door and then loped up the staircase before she could stop him.

Her shoulders tensed. She had no choice but to follow him upstairs.

Once inside her studio, he set down his rucksack. He was staring at the eight small, blank canvases she’d prepared earlier this morning, and it embarrassed her. She wrapped the edges of her shawl more tightly around herself.

“What are these for?” he asked, pointing to the canvases and turning to her.

Striding forward, she began to stack them into a pile. “Nothing,” she murmured. “I’ve changed my mind.”

It had been a silly idea, really. She would take the canvases outside and destroy them later.

“They’re portrait size.” Colin’s voice held surprise. “It looks like you’re going to paint people.”

“No,” she admitted, “just my cat. Maybe Molly, too.”

“That’s interesting. I think you should do it.”

She peered at him, because his tone wasn’t so blandly formal anymore. He was a bit livelier. Friendlier toward her.

“Thank you,” she said hesitantly.

He crossed his arms. “So. Will you attend the gathering Saturday?”

He wasn’t about to give up. She walked over to the high windows. Sighing, she answered him. “Actually, Kristin is going to represent us.”

“Malcolm’s wife?” His jaw tightened. “Why not you?”

She kept silent. She really didn’t want to reveal to Colin her thoughts of inadequacy.

He crossed the room to stand beside her at the window. “Since I’ll be here, I was planning on attending the gathering, too. With Jessie, I mean.”

So matter-of-fact. No hint or intimation of the kisses, the confidences they’d shared.

“You’re welcome to stand with us if you’d like, Rhiannon.” He stared down at his feet. Maybe he felt guilty over making her upset. Maybe he felt sorry for her.

“No, thank you,” she said. Her pride was too strong to be a charity case for anybody, even for him.

He nodded and gathered up his rucksack, preparing to leave.

She was sad that the closeness they’d been building with each other was gone. She supposed it was a casualty of her loyalty to Jessie and the estate. She’d hurt her relationship with Colin by prioritizing this over her honesty to
him
.

“Rhiannon,” he said, suddenly turning. “Why do I get the feeling that if I’d asked you yesterday, you’d have considered it?”

“Because...” She stood there, blinking at him. How could she tell him that she’d been developing feelings for him? That she couldn’t forget their kiss?

“If Malcolm doesn’t want you to go,” Colin said, misunderstanding her, “then he’s wrong. You’re strong enough to do it on your own. Look what you dared to do for Jessie.” He gave her a half smile, not at all ironic. “Five minutes, that’s all you need to stand there and show your brother. Like the queen standing on the balcony and making her appearance, just give them all a big wave, then declare victory.”

She laughed in spite of herself.

“Do it,” he urged.

“You’re really not angry at me? Because... I thought you were upset over my hurting you. Or guilty. Or irritated. Or all of the above.”

“No, Rhiannon,” he said quietly. “I understand why you did what you did, and I’m not angry now. I don’t blame you.”

But he didn’t completely trust her, not as he had before. That was what she read in his face.

“Why do you want to help me with the gathering?” she asked. “Did Jessie encourage you?”

“No. But I do want to make her happy.”

“And helping me go to the gathering will accomplish this?”

“Let’s just say that I’m being a responsible citizen,” he said carefully.

“You want to be responsible now?”

“I want to
win
,” he emphasized. He stared directly into her eyes. “Don’t you?”

She had her dreams, too, if that’s what he meant. “I can last five minutes at the gathering,” she said defiantly.

“Yes, I know you can.”

“But I don’t need you to stand with me,” she clarified.

“Fine.” He shrugged. “I’ll be there to watch anyway. The golf course will be empty. McGuff said that the club will be closed next Saturday because they’re all participating in the Highland Games.”

Despite herself, there was something about his mannerisms, the way he spoke to her, the smile he used, that just made her heart want to be with him. Even when
he
didn’t want
her
.

“Well,” she said, “if you can promise to come back and see Jessie, at least by Christmas or New Year’s, then I suppose I could allow you to be my escort at the gathering.”

His mouth curved in a smirk. “Is that a dare, Rhiannon?”

Not particularly. She was trying to be polite and aloof with him, even though inside she felt like crying. “Always,” she murmured.

“I’m not scheduled for anything over the holidays. I guess I can arrange a visit to Scotland.”

He stepped toward her and she held her breath, but just as quickly he backed away, hands clasped behind his back.

“I’ll see what intelligence I can pick up for you during my days in the village,” he said politely. “If I hear any news of the gathering, I’ll let you know.”

She could only nod. He spoke as if she mattered no more to him than an acquaintance or a mate from the pub. She supposed this was the price she had to pay to be
lady of the estate.
And if she couldn’t have a normal life, like other people, then she should at least try to fight for control of her domain.

It wasn’t as if she would ever be leaving.

* * *

A
FTER
C
OLIN HAD LEFT,
Rhiannon realized the ramifications of what she’d agreed to do. Making the call quickly, before she changed her mind, she picked up her mobile phone and rang her sister-in-law’s number.

Kristin answered immediately. “Hi, Rhiannon. How are you?”

In over my head.
She felt as if she’d chosen an art project she could never complete. No, worse.

“I, er, have something to ask you. Do you have a minute?”

“Of course!” Kristin’s voice registered surprise. “Honestly, I’m glad you called. I’m just relaxing at home with Malcolm right now.”

It was Sunday, after all. That was a downside of Rhiannon’s never leaving the estate. Sometimes she forgot what day it was.

Rhiannon swallowed. She had six days to come to terms with attending the gathering and actually facing all those people.

“Next weekend...” she said hesitantly, “...Saturday, is the annual gathering at the castle. Malcolm mentioned that he was going to ask you to act as lady of the castle and be hostess, but, well...” Rhiannon’s voice faltered. “...would you mind terribly if I did the honor? At least at first, I mean. Perhaps you could step in if I find myself failing at the role? Like a backup?”

Rhiannon closed her eyes and cringed.
A cop-out,
she could imagine Colin remarking, if he’d heard that last bit. She was starting to believe she might be insane for agreeing she would do this with him.

“Yes, I’m in,” Kristin said quickly, “I think it’s a great idea.”

“You do?”

She heard someone else whispering in the background.

“Rhiannon?” Kristin asked. “Can you hold on a minute? Malcolm wants to talk to you. I’ll call you back tomorrow during my lunch hour.”

Meaning, when Malcolm wasn’t there listening over her shoulder.

Rhiannon sighed. “Yes. That’s fine.” She didn’t know why she was surprised they’d been sitting so closely. Malcolm and Kristin were the perfect communicative couple—they seemed to tell each other everything and kept nothing back. Complete and total honesty.

“Rhi?” Malcolm came on the line. “How are you? You never called me back to tell me about the funeral.”

She’d forgotten about that. But she didn’t want to be egged into a discussion about Jamie and Jessie and Colin. “Long story short, everything is taken care of. No need to worry on this end.”

“Is Colin still there? Or has he gone home now?”

“He’s training at Kildrammond for the week,” she said carefully.

There was a pause on the line. “Why?” Malcolm’s tone was cooler than Rhiannon cared for.

“Because, Malcolm, he’s getting to know his grandparents again. Please don’t think harshly of him.”

“Rhi, I’ve looked him up. Did you know he’s on the cusp of being kicked back to the lower-level tour, the one with a lot less money?”

She rubbed her forehead. She wasn’t clear on the intricacies of professional golf, but Colin
had
told her that Daisie Lee was worried about him losing his pro tour card and having money problems because of it.

“That isn’t our business,” she said gently. Maybe it would be, if she were involved with Colin romantically. But it was clear he didn’t think of her in that way anymore.

She sighed again. It
still
hurt. She wished she could control having both things: lady of the estate and Colin. In a perfect world she could.

“Rhi, I’m just suggesting you face the possibility that maybe he stayed because he hopes to get one of our company’s athlete sponsorships.”

She already knew that wasn’t his intention.

“You don’t need to worry about me, Malcolm. I can handle myself.”

“Promise me you’ll be careful of Colin’s motives.”

She was always careful. Careful was her life.

“I’ll see you both next week at the gathering,” she said to her brother. “Goodbye for now.”

* * *

B
ACKPACK STILL ON
his shoulders, Colin headed straight from Rhiannon’s studio to the back of the castle.

He’d gone there intent on doing what was right without getting too close to her, and he had. The part about standing with her at the gathering wasn’t exactly planned, but it was responsible and good. There was no denying that.

Now he had a few more responsible steps to take.

Colin glanced inside the window at Paul, who appeared to be washing his hands in a utility sink in the breakfast area. Colin knocked on the window to gain his attention.

Paul straightened, tugging on his suit jacket. He opened the door, frowning somewhat. “Yes, sir?”

“Do you mind if I come in?” Colin patted his backpack. “I have something from my grandmother to drop off.”

Paul’s forehead furrowed. He looked as though he was about to say no, so Colin added, “I’m staying at the cottage for the next week. You’ll likely be seeing me around the estate.”

Tilting his head slightly, Paul stood aside and let Colin in.

“Do you live here all the time?” Colin asked, taking note of the familiar dining room setup, the side table with stacked dishes and serving plates, and that ever-present tea tray.