Secret Garden (15 page)

Sure. I have Jessie to visit,
he automatically thought.
Rhiannon, too.

He wished she was here. “I, uh, need to make a phone call. Thanks for everything.” Colin said his goodbye to McGuff, then pulled out his cell phone and headed to the parking lot.

Raindrops spit on his head, so he opened the shopping bag and put on the waterproof jacket McGuff had given him. It fit perfectly.

Then he unlocked the car and got in, but when he bent to push the seat lever back, giving him extra room to breathe, he bumped his hand, which caused his phone to fly across the car, bouncing against the seat and landing on the floor.

Colin leaned over, but he didn’t see his phone anywhere. His grandmother’s huge purse was in the way; his phone was probably behind it.

He nudged her purse aside and in the process, saw that it was open. Colin couldn’t help seeing his name on what looked to be a packet of papers.

He leaned over the seat, perspiring. Should he take a look? Should he snoop inside someone else’s personal papers?

But his name was on it. That meant it was his business.

Colin quickly plunged his hand inside the purse, grabbed the packet and then leaned back on the cushions. He was suffocating, so he opened the window, letting in the cool wind, the dampness and a smattering of raindrops.

They were letters. A dozen letters or more—all addressed to him on the envelope, the contents sealed. What the hell? Curious, he flipped through them.

The earliest ones were postmarked Airmail, delivered and then returned. They were addressed to his old address in Texas, the place where he’d lived with both parents before the divorce.

Daisie Lee might never have seen the letters. Maybe she had.

What difference did it make now?

He leaned his head back on the seat. He just felt regret. Sad and angry for the missed opportunities with his grandmother.

Why couldn’t the adults have figured it out among them? Why had they dragged him through this crap, at eight, when he was powerless to help himself? To protect himself?

The longer he spent in his grandmother’s company, the more he was realizing what he’d missed out on.

He dialed Rhiannon’s phone number. It rang once, and she picked up. “Hello? Colin?”

Just hearing his name spoken in her voice gave him relief. It made him feel as though he’d come home, to a good place, a place that had never left him.

“Rhiannon, do you have a minute?”

* * *

“
C
OLIN?
I
’M GLAD
you called.” Rhiannon’s heart was pounding. She clutched her mobile phone and silently excused herself from her discussion with Jamie. They’d been sitting in the back kitchen with Paul, but Rhiannon didn’t want to talk in front of them.

“Wait a moment,” she said to Colin. “I’m heading outside, so I’ll need to put the phone down. Hopefully, it’s not too windy. Is it raining there? It’s raining here.”

Oh, wasn’t she babbling? But she was obviously nervous. She hurried to the back door, not sure how she would handle this situation.

Did Colin even know yet? Her original plan had been to avoid him until she was sure Jessie had told him the truth. She was keenly aware that she’d promised him honesty, but still, her first loyalty did go to her life and her people at the castle. It wasn’t as if Colin would ever be an everyday part of that. Really, he was likely to leave as soon as he learned the truth.

Standing outside, she put the phone to her ear. “Colin, I’m back.”

“Yeah, it’s raining here, too,” Colin said over the line. “I thought it was a short squall, but it seems to be getting worse.”

“Sorry about that. Um, can you wait another minute, please?” She’d forgotten her coat. Crouching and covering her head with her hand, Rhiannon ran toward the formal yew maze behind her art studio. Her family hired gardeners to care for the extensive landscape, but there was one walled garden that Rhiannon alone had the key to. She always kept it with her, tucked into a pocket.

She went inside and quickly shut the door.
Her secret garden
. There was an old tree swing under a canopy of leaves, and she sat on that, the phone to her ear again. “I’m back again. Colin, how did it go?”

She heard rain in the background. Loud rain, pattering on a roof or a window. Much harder and more furious than the rain at the castle. “Where are you?” she asked.

“In the car.” Colin paused. “I’m wondering if you’ll go to the funeral with me.”

Rhiannon tried not to groan aloud. Jessie hadn’t told him yet. “Oh, Colin,” she murmured.

He laughed without mirth. “Sorry. I meant...would you go with me over the videophone? The way that you went to Malcolm’s wedding last summer?”

She squeezed the phone tighter in her hand. Emotions warred within her. She wished Jessie had told him the truth, and she was sorry she hadn’t—sorry for Colin most of all. He was going to be so angry when he found out. And now, if she agreed to his request, it would be tantamount to lying to his face.

“Rhiannon, are you there?” he asked, his voice sounding fainter.

“I am,” she whispered.

He sighed. “Look, I know we’re just getting to know each other again. I know it’s a lot for me to ask. But...” He paused. “I’m in the car and I noticed that Jessie had a bunch of letters in her purse, all addressed to me. They look like letters she wrote when I was...uh, hell,” he muttered.

“What?”

“Some of these are postmarked just before my birthday.” He cursed softly.

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“I don’t know. I just want to...start again where we all are now, and go forward from there. I don’t want to think about the old times. I don’t want to think about what-ifs, or who was wrong or right.”

“I’m sure it’s difficult for them, too, Colin.”

“I need
someone
on my side, Rhiannon.” His voice had an edge to it.

She recoiled. Physically bent her head over her knees and stared at the ground.

But he was silent, waiting, so she found herself speaking the truth. “Until you showed up this week, hitting your golf balls, I rarely saw Jessie or Jamie. Maybe five or six times a year, Colin, and mostly, it was when they came to watch you on the telly here at the castle for a particularly big match. And I sat in with them—which was rare for me to sit with a group of visitors to the castle. But I did so only because I was curious about seeing you.”

“So you’ve thought of me, then?” he asked in a low voice.

“All the ever-loving time!” she nearly shouted.

He exhaled. “I’m messed up, Rhiannon. You know how we said we’d be honest with each other? Well, honestly, I am messed up. I didn’t expect to find these letters or to feel so bad about the funeral. And you’re the only person I can tell.”

The threat of tears burned at the edges of her eyes.
Oh, Colin,
she thought. “Please drive home. I’ll meet you at the gate.”

He sighed. “I just can’t stand the thought of looking at
him
in a casket tomorrow. I came here expecting to piss on his grave, but now that I’m here, and I’ve met Jessie again...that’s not going to happen. I have to be stoic for her tomorrow, and I’m not sure I can do that. Plus, Daisie Lee, she’s...well, let’s just say I’m responsible for her, too. You know?”

Rhiannon knew. She remembered. “I’m on your side, too, Colin.”

There was a short silence. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

Her heart was breaking. “I have to be honest with you. I never saw your father again—I don’t think he’s ever come back to visit.” She bit her tongue. Should she tell him what she knew about his dad? She couldn’t divulge what Jessie had pledged she would do, but Rhiannon could share this truth. “Do you want to know where your father lived the last I heard, Colin?”

Another silence. “It doesn’t matter to me. But, coming from you, yeah... Just tell me what I need to know for the funeral tomorrow. I trust you, Rhiannon.”

She squeezed her eyes shut.
May he please forgive me if he ever finds out.
“Well, your father was living in Italy. For how long, I don’t know. He married...”

“That woman?” Colin asked harshly.

“Yes, I believe so. But then, I’m sure I don’t know everything,” she added quickly.

“Children?”

“I...don’t think so. Not his own, anyway.”

“That makes sense. Otherwise, there would be no inheritance for me.”

Oh, hell’s bells! She’d forgotten that Jamie had mentioned an inheritance. “Is it...substantial?” she asked carefully.

“Oh, yeah. A million bucks.”

Rhiannon put the phone down, knocking her forehead against her knee. Jessie had really stepped in it, hadn’t she?

Rhiannon took a breath to compose herself. “Is that why you came to Scotland?”

“It’s why Daisie Lee wanted me to come.” Colin sighed again. “She has it in her head that I might not last on the pro tour much longer, and that I need to think of the future. And I’ll be honest with you: she also looked into your brother’s company and how they endorse professional athletes. I want you to hear this from me, in case you hear through the grapevine that it’s my reason for being here. Because it’s not. I’m not looking for anything from you or your family. I’d rather not even accept my father’s inheritance if I didn’t need it as a backup to help pay my team members’ salaries, to tell you the truth.”

Rhiannon waited. She sensed he was going to tell her what he did want, and she was immensely interested in that.

“I just want some kind of harmony,” Colin said. “But I’m not likely to get it unless I make a few decisions.”

She exhaled.

“Rhiannon, are you there?”

She nodded, but he couldn’t hear that, so she squeaked, “Yes.”

“What do
you
want, Rhiannon?”

Peace. On her estate.

And Colin there sometimes to be with her, too.

But she couldn’t say that aloud to anybody—especially the second part, which was still in the realm of fantasy. And the longer she kept the truth from him, the less likely that fantasy was becoming. “I want to help you in whatever way I can, truly, Colin.”

“I told you, just by being yourself, you already do.” He cleared his throat, murmuring to someone beside him. “Rhiannon? I have to go, Jessie is here.”

Please, Jessie, tell him what you did.

“Yes,” Rhiannon said. “Goodbye, then.”

She ended the call, her head in her hands.

She was involved now. Really and truly involved. She’d been somewhat involved last evening when Jamie told her, and somehow she’d remained quiet about her knowledge to Colin, but now it was worse. He had asked her to go to the funeral and she’d said nothing. She had listened to him speak about his father and she’d said nothing.

She headed back to the kitchen, where Jamie sat at the side table, nursing a cup of tea.

“Jessie hasn’t told Colin yet,” Rhiannon announced.

“Aye,” Jamie said grimly. He pointed to his own phone, set on the table beside him. “I called her, and she said that she cannot do it. She wants you to help her tell Colin.”

“What! Me?”

“She says that you and Colin have a special bond, and that it will go better coming from you, lass.”

“But that’s not fair!” she blurted.

Jamie shifted uncomfortably. He and Paul glanced at each other.

They’re doubting me. They’re doubting my fitness because of my agoraphobia.

What else could it be?

Rhiannon took a deep breath, and then sat at the table with her hands folded before her. If her parents had been present, Rhiannon had no doubt that one of them would accompany Jessie to speak with Colin. This was exactly the type of drama and stickiness that her mother, in particular, dealt with nearly every month of the year—from the workers they periodically hired to the villagers and their committees to the church community they were part of.

At the end of the day, if she didn’t handle it, then Paul would bring Malcolm in. That was the reality. And she still had a chance to fight against it, to change it and take charge of her world—and bring on the future she
did
want.

She cleared her throat. She’d just take it step by step—she could do this. “Tell me everything you know, Jamie. Start from the beginning. Why did Jessie make up this horrible story?”

Jamie sighed and gazed at his hands. “Simply put, she wants to bring her family together before it’s too late.”

“Before it’s too...” Rhiannon suddenly thought of Jessie’s lost weight. Her tired eyes. The lines in her face. It all made sense. “Is she unwell, Jamie?”

He stared into his teacup, looking terrible. “My wife is ill, Miss MacDowall. That’s all I’ll say about it.”

Oh, no.
“Has the doctor been seen?”

Jamie nodded miserably. “Aye. We went to the clinic last week. Her heart isn’t working properly.” He suddenly glared. “It’s why I didn’t want her to have the excitement, didn’t want her to golf today. But she refuses to allow Colin to know. And him so careless and flippant with us.”

Rhiannon understood the source of Jamie’s anger and frustration. So much more was clearer now. She peered at him. “You do know it’s not fair to blame Colin for his parents’ decisions? He was caught in the middle when they divorced. He was just a boy—it wasn’t his fault.”

“Aye. But that was then. He’s been of age for years now, and could have called to check on her.” He suddenly turned and glared. “I’m angry, lass. It eats me to see how hard my wife has tried over the years and always been rebuffed. She tried to stay in touch with Colin, but her letters were returned unopened and her phone calls unanswered.”

He sighed. “All she wants is for her only grandson to know he has people in Scotland who support him and love him. It’s why I didn’t make a fuss when she first made that phone call.

“But now, lass, I don’t know what to do. It’s true, my temper flared when Colin arrived smelling of drink and laughing in the wee hours, disrespecting his grandmother. I wanted him to face the pain, so I didn’t disavow the ruse that his father was dead, just so Colin would ‘go stew in it.’
But
he’s like his grandmother. He avoids painful things.