Secret Heart (25 page)

“
I know
I’ve had longer than you to accept Chantal’s death,” Jenia added.
“For you the grief is still fresh and very bitter. Garit, I will
never forget her, any more than you will. She was my best friend as
well as my cousin, and closer to me than some sisters are. Now, it
seems to me that you and I have one last duty to her. We owe her
justice – and something more, if it’s possible. If we can locate
her body, we owe her a decent burial, with a stone to mark her
grave and a mage to offer the necessary prayers.”

“
Yes,”
Garit said after a moment during which Jenia could see how he
struggled to regain his self-control. “Yes, you are right. It’s the
only way to put a decent end to this nightmare.”

“
Finding
her will be difficult,” Jenia said, “because the men who killed her
thought she was a servant whose body was unimportant. Who knows
what they did with her? I am sorry to say that, Garit, but it’s
true. They thought I was the important noble lady. I believe that’s
why they took me out to sea to kill me. They thought my body would
never be found, or wouldn’t be identifiable if it were found.
Chantal had disappeared and they intended to make certain she’d
never be seen again, dead or alive.” She paused to swallow new
tears before continuing.

“
First,
we have to find Uncle Walderon and force him to tell us the truth.
Even if he’s not the guilty person, he may know something helpful.
Then we’ll find the dungeon and Chantal’s body. I do swear it,
Garit.”

“
I should
have seen the difference between you at once,” Garit said. “Chantal
was always lighthearted. You are far more serious.”

“
Imprisonment and constant danger do have a sobering effect
on a lady’s nature,” she responded with dry humor.

“
Earlier
today,” Garit said, “you declared before King Henryk that you
believe Chantal’s spirit buoyed you up in the stormy sea and then
carried you ashore to the beach where Roarke and I found
you.”

“
I do
believe it. And now, I would very much like to hear how you arrived
there at the same time when I was seeking help.”

“
You know
how thorough our search was, even beyond the border of Sapaudia
into Morenia and to the western edge of the Dominion, on the slim
chance that Chantal had fled there.” Garit paused, frowning in
thought. “Roarke and I stopped at the inn where you stayed with us.
We had just agreed to depart for Nozay in the morning and ask Lord
Giles if he had any suggestions to make, when I suddenly felt a
compelling need to ride to the sand dunes and have a look at the
beach and the water. I’m sure you haven’t forgotten how much
Chantal loved the ocean. I imagined I’d find some trace of her in
the waves and the sunshine. Then I followed Roarke over the last
sand dune and there you were.”

“
There I
was,” she repeated, “in the exact spot where you and Roarke would
find me. I do believe I was brought to that particular beach by
Chantal’s loving spirit, with her last words whispering in my mind
as I crawled out of the water.” She deliberately did not mention
the significance she saw in the fact that Roarke had found her
first.

“
It’s
comforting to think she brought the three of us together,” Garit
said softly. “She chose the very three souls who care enough and
are determined enough to solve the mystery of who arranged for her
disappearance and her murder, and the further mystery of
why
she was killed. She
hasn’t left us yet, has she?”

“
Not yet.
And that,” Jenia said, smiling at last, “means she will lead us to
the villain.”

“
Where is
the room you found for me?” Jenia asked when she and Roarke were in
the corridor outside Garit’s chamber.

To her
surprise, Roarke hadn’t remained there for very long. He’d looked
hard at Garit, apparently taking note of the exhaustion written so
clearly on his friend’s face, then had contented himself with a
comradely clasp of Garit’s shoulder and a promise to be at his side
during the meeting with King Henryk early the next
morning.

“
This
way.” Roarke led her along the corridor and up a steep flight of
steps. “The castle is full to overflowing.”

“
Then,
where am I to sleep?”

“
In my
room. I can find a place in the great hall, among the pages and the
squires. Elwin will probably save a place for me.”

“
You
could stay with Garit,” she suggested. “I’m sure he has space for a
guest.”

“
Garit
needs to be alone for a time. Don’t worry; Anders will see to him.
He knows his master well. Here we are.”

They had reached one of the upper levels of
the castle. Roarke opened a door and motioned to Jenia to enter.
Light from a torch set into a bracket in the corridor spilled into
the room.

It was
even smaller than the second chamber of Lord Oliver’s apartment.
Roarke’s bed was narrow and it was shoved against one wall to make
enough space for the occupant of the room to move around. His
saddlebags lay at the foot of the bed next to the basket containing
the extra clothing Garit had sent to Auremont for Jenia to use. A
stool and a wooden clothing chest near the head of the bed were the
only other pieces of furniture. A clay pitcher and basin, a bowl of
soap, and a candle stub in a battered pewter holder sat atop the
chest. Flint, a bit of straw, and some wool lint were waiting in a
metal tray. A small window was shuttered against the night air.
Sparse though it was, the room was swept and clean, and Roarke’s
distinctive, woody-leafy scent permeated it.

He followed Jenia inside, leaving the door
open while he busied himself with striking the flint into the
woolen lint. Once a spark caught and the lint began to glow he held
a piece of the straw to the tiny fire.

“
When I
leave you,” he said, having lit the straw and then the candle, “I
will find Elwin and have him bring some hot water.” He reached for
the pitcher.

“
Don’t
go,” she whispered, amazed at her own boldness. “Roarke, please
stay.”

“
I beg
your pardon?”

“
We have
much to say to each other. No, that’s not right.
I
have much to say, much to
explain to you.”

“
Have
you?” He watched her from shuttered eyes. “I thought you had said
everything in the king’s audience chamber.”

“
You know
that’s not true, or you wouldn’t have kissed me earlier this
evening.”

Very slowly and deliberately, never removing
his gaze from her face, Roarke closed and latched his chamber door.
He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the
door.

“
I am
listening,” he said.

“
You look
rather like a judge,” she objected. “I haven’t done anything wrong.
I want to tell you what I said to Garit just now, and what he and I
have decided.”

“
You and
Garit made a decision, together.” His mouth thinned to a hard
line.

“
I can
see what you are assuming, and it’s not so,” she said.

“
You have
no idea what I’m thinking.”

His rough voice took her breath away. Jenia
knew she had to explain at once.

“
I wanted
to speak to Garit in private so I could relay Chantal’s last words
to him,” she said. “I will not tell you exactly what those words
were, except to say that her final thoughts were of their love.
Garit was quite overcome. I fear he will never recover fully from
his loss.”

“
I could
see how upset he was.” Roarke pushed away from the door and moved a
little farther into the room. The hard look on his face made her
nervous.

“
We
agreed to find my Uncle Walderon and have the truth out of him,”
she said, speaking more rapidly. “Then, we will find Chantal’s body
and see to a proper burial for her. But I have already told you
much of this.”

“
Yes, you
have.” Roarke edged closer. “What else?”

“
I am
glad to say that, like you, Garit offered no objection to my
decision to join you tomorrow.”

“
And?
What else do you want to tell me?”

Roarke moved again until he was so close that
Jenia could sense the masculine heat of him. She wanted to touch
him, to place her hands on his broad chest and feel his strength.
She longed for him to kiss her. A sweet, warm ache began to curl
deep inside her.

“
Garit
and Chantal.” She paused, licking her dry lips.

“
What
about them?” Roarke demanded, his voice a rough, rumbling
sound.

“
They
always behaved with the greatest propriety,” she whispered.
“Chantal knew that when she married she must go to her spouse as an
untouched maiden. Garit understood and he loved her all the more
for her determination to preserve her honor.”

“
So Garit
has told me. I confess I was a bit surprised to hear it,
considering the strength of his ardor.”

“
I assure
you, Chantal’s ardor was every bit as strong as Garit’s. How they
restrained themselves, I do not know.”

“
What are
you trying to say, Jenia?”

“
While we
were imprisoned Chantal told me several times how deeply she
regretted not having seized every opportunity to make love with
Garit. She wished her first experience with a man could be a tender
one.”

“
I see.”
Roarke’s dark gaze rested on Jenia’s face.

“
That was
the deciding reason for her flight from her wedding to Lord Malin,”
Jenia said. “From Malin’s reputation she concluded that he would
not treat her kindly in their bedchamber. Loving Garit, she was
willing to risk everything to be with him. After years of doing
what others expected of her, she no longer cared about the plans
Uncle Walderon had made, or what would happen to her vast estates.
In the end, all that mattered to her was Garit.”

“
Many
would fault her for disobeying her guardian,” Roarke said. “The
same people would call her foolish for running away.”

“
You
never heard her speak of Garit to me, never saw the look on her
face when she said his name. I don’t think Chantal was foolish at
all. In Garit, she had found the one man who could provide the only
thing worth having, or worth dying for.”

“
What
about you, Jenia? What lesson did you learn from Chantal’s sad
story?”

She could see how he was holding himself
still, not even breathing for the moment, as if his very life
depended on her answer.

“
I am not
the great heiress that Chantal was,” she said. “Gildeley is a small
estate compared to Thury, and no secondary lands will pass through
me to my future husband and children. Even so, if Garit’s
suspicions are correct and Uncle Walderon proves to be the villain
in all of this, then King Henryk will become my guardian. I am not
willing to take the risk that he will make a decision about my
future that will please me.”

“
You
ought to trust King Henryk to do what is best for you,” Roarke said
very softly.

“
After
the last half year, I trust few people.”

“
I cannot
blame you for that,” he murmured.

“
Roarke—”
She paused, hesitating.

To
Roarke’s mind she looked eager, just a bit apprehensive, and
altogether desirable. His entire body tightened in response to the
expression in her eyes.

“
Jenia,
are you asking me to make love to you?”

“
Yes,”
she whispered. “Please. Whatever happens, let us have one night
together.”

Roarke
knew any decent man ought to refuse the offer to ruin her. He
harbored a nagging belief that she feared he’d be killed in the
next few days. Or, perhaps, she feared Chantal’s fate would befall
her, too. He really should say a polite
no
and leave the room.

But he
wanted her so much, had wanted her since the first moment he’d seen
her. After weeks of believing she could very possibly be his best
friend’s love, he knew at last that she was not. If he, and she,
survived their mission to bring Chantal’s murderer to justice, he
could ask King Henryk for Jenia’s hand in marriage as his reward.
He decided not to mention that somewhat remote hope to her just
yet. Rather than make a promise he wasn’t sure he’d be able – or
alive – to keep, he’d wait until they were both safe.

He wished
he could leave her safe at Calean when he and Garit rode out the
next day, but he knew she’d never agree to stay behind. If he
insisted, she’d only find a way to follow him. She had escaped
imprisonment, would-be rapists, and a raging storm at sea; he did
not doubt she’d succeed in reaching Thury Castle by any means
possible. He told himself she’d be well protected with him and
Garit, and Lord Giles and their combined men-at-arms to watch over
her.

And then he cursed himself for standing
before her like a lackwitted, inexperienced boy, debating all the
pertinent issues while Jenia waited for his reply to her offer of
her maidenhood.

“
Roarke?”
She was looking at him with such trust and such affection in her
eyes that his heart melted within him. Still, he delayed for her
sake, though his desire for her was so strong and insistent he
feared he’d burst his hose.