Secret Histories 10: Dr. DOA (20 page)

“It’s all right, Roxie; I know who this is. Allow me to present to you the current Jack a Napes. One of the good guys. I’ve worked with him. Jack a Napes is a title, but you can’t inherit it or assume it. You can only get it by the acclaim of your peers, in the relevant underground communities.”

“Never heard of it, or him,” said Roxie.

“You wouldn’t have,” I said. “He doesn’t move in your circles. Or mine, normally. Shaman Bond, not the other guy, knows him.”

“Your life can be very schizophrenic at times,” said Roxie.

“We knew you were going to say that,” I said.

“So who or what is a Jack a Napes?” said Roxie. “And why is he just standing there, looking at us like that? In fact, I really don’t like the way he’s looking at us.”

I didn’t either. Jack a Napes was, if not actually an old friend, certainly an old colleague. He should have been pleased to see Shaman Bond. Instead, he was standing stiffly, half-hidden in the shadows, and I could all but smell the tension coming off him. He had the air of a man who’d come looking for a fight. Which really wasn’t like him.

“Jack!” I said loudly. “It’s me, Shaman!”

“I know you,” he said.

I waited, but he had nothing more to say. His voice sounded harsh and threatening, even defiant. Really not what I remembered.

“Jack a Napes is the latest in a long line of English trickster adventurers,” I said quietly to Roxie. “The name goes back centuries, championing any number of causes. Each new Jack a Napes gets to decide what he’s going to dedicate his life to. He’s part of the Robin Hood tradition,
battling authority figures on behalf of those who can’t defend themselves. There are any number of old songs and stories about various Jack a Napes, but he’s never been romantic enough, or safe enough, for the mass media.”

“So what’s the current Jack a Napes all about?” said Roxie.

“He’s part of the Animal Liberation Force,” I said. “Frees animals from science labs or breeding farms, bad zoos, and circuses. Anywhere he believes the animals are being mistreated. He’s very fond of animals; not so much of people.”

“How does he know Shaman Bond?”

I kept a careful eye on Jack a Napes, but he still didn’t move a muscle. I raised my voice to make sure he could hear me. Hoping my words would remind him of the Shaman Bond he used to know.

“I was sent to break into a secret Government research facility, not far from Porton Down. The scientists there were running drug trials on monkeys, trying to blow their little minds with massive doses of psychedelics. To see what would happen to primate minds without the human ego and complexity to get in the way. All they had to show for it was a whole bunch of confused and really pissed-off monkeys, more likely than most to shit in their hands and throw it at their tormentors. According to a whistle-blower, who’d left in a hurry ten minutes before being fired, the scientists were about to kill and vivisect all the monkeys, and harvest their brains. They had plans for those chemically altered brains. Jack a Napes broke into the facility to liberate the animals, and found me already there.”

“Hold everything,” said Roxie. “Since when did your family have a soft spot for animals?”

“I was there to stop what was supposed to happen next. According to the whistle-blower, the scientists were planning to use all those brains to create an organic computer. Not a new idea; it’s been tried many times before, with all kinds of animals. It never ends well. I hadn’t
expected to run into Jack a Napes. I introduced myself as Shaman Bond, so as not to freak him out, and he persuaded me to help him smuggle the monkeys out of the facility, to where he had friends waiting with transport. They left, and I went back inside and burned the place down. Jack a Napes didn’t care about the scientists, and after what I’d seen in the files, about what they’d done and planned to do, neither did I.

“Some time later, I tracked down the politicians and businesspeople behind the scheme. Because monkeys were just the first step; stage two called for harvesting the homeless. Jack a Napes never knew what I did, to the people in charge. At least, I hope not. He was always a gentle soul.”

“I like the sound of this Jack a Napes,” said Roxie, “or rather I would if he weren’t still looking at us like that. What’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “He shouldn’t even be here; he’s not a part of the Wulfshead scene. He shouldn’t even know the club exists.”

“Really don’t like the way he’s looking at us,” said Roxie. “Like he’s betting on which way we’ll fall, after he’s ripped our throats out with his bare teeth. And what he’ll do to the bodies afterwards. Is he usually this creepy?”

“No,” I said, “he isn’t.”

“We can’t hang around here all night, waiting for him to get off the pot!” said Roxie. “We have things to do!”

“I know!” I said. I took a step forward and addressed Jack a Napes directly. “Jack! You know me!”

“I know you, Eddie Drood,” said Jack a Napes. “I know you too, Molly Metcalf.”

“Hey!” said Roxie. “He shouldn’t be able to see me when I’m being Roxie!”

“It’s time for you to pay for your sins, Drood,” said Jack a Napes. He sounded like he meant it.

I looked at Roxie. “Okay, something is very wrong here. There’s no way Jack a Napes could know I’m a Drood. He shouldn’t even have heard of the Droods. He isn’t part of our world.”

“And he just used the exact same words as the Manichean Monk, on Cassandra Inc’s airship,” said Roxie.

“You’re right,” I said. “But Jack a Napes wouldn’t know someone like the Monk either. No way their paths would cross.”

“It can’t be a coincidence,” said Roxie. “Not the same threat, in the same words, from two people who should have no quarrel with you.”

“Somebody else must be behind this,” I said.

“Want me to ask him who?” said Roxie.

“I think I’d better do it,” I said. “You’d scare him.”

“Damned right,” said Roxie.

I took another step forward, and Jack a Napes smiled unpleasantly at me. His hands came up, clenched into white-knuckle fists. I kept my voice carefully calm and reasonable.

“What are you doing here, Jack?”

“Looking for you, Drood.”

“But we only decided to come here a few hours ago!” Roxie said behind me.

“I know what I need to know,” said Jack a Napes. “I see you, wherever you are, whoever you are.”

“Okay . . . ,” said Roxie. “That wasn’t at all spooky.”

“What’s going on here, Jack?” I said.

“Word is out, Eddie,” said Jack a Napes, his voice openly mocking now, “that you’re weakened, vulnerable. What better time to make you pay for what you and your family have done?”

“That’s what the Manichean Monk said!” said Roxie.

“Who put out the word, Jack?” I said. “No one’s supposed to know but me and my family.”

“And the man responsible,” said Roxie.

I glanced back at her. “Why would he want everyone to know?”

“Why did he want to kill you?” said Roxie.

Jack a Napes made an impatient sound, to draw our attention back to him. He wanted to be the centre of attention.

“Did you know the Monk, Jack?” I said.

“You could say that,” said Jack a Napes. “I know you killed him, Eddie. Threw him off an airship.”

“That’s not what happened!” I said.

“Don’t let him get to you, Eddie,” Roxie said quietly. “That’s what he wants.”

“I never did anything to hurt you, Jack,” I said. “Neither has anyone else in my family.”

“Your family murdered the only person I ever loved,” said Jack a Napes.

“What?” I looked at him, honestly baffled. “That can’t be right; I’d have heard . . .”

“It’s time,” said Jack a Napes. “Time for you to suffer, the way I have.” He smiled slowly, a cold, anticipatory smile, out of place on his youthful features. “Maybe I should kill your woman first, right in front of you.”

“Okay,” said Roxie. “That’s it. He just crossed the line and he’s going down. I don’t care if he is an old friend of yours.”

“Molly, please,” I said. “There’s something going on here, something I don’t understand . . .”

“Time’s up, Drood!” said Jack a Napes. “Time to pay for all your sins!”

“That’s the Monk again!” said Roxie. “That’s what he said!”

Jack a Napes strode forward, and Roxie got ready to meet him, but I stopped her with a quick gesture.

“No, Molly.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want Jack hurt,” I said. “He’s one of the good guys. I don’t believe he’s in his right mind. Someone’s got to him.”

Roxie shrugged. “Okay, but he doesn’t look to me like he wants to be talked out of it.”

“I have to try,” I said.

“Of course you do,” said Roxie. “You’re one of the good guys.”

I put myself between Jack a Napes and Roxie, holding my hands out placatingly.

“Don’t do this, Jack. You can’t hurt me. I have armour.”

“I know,” said Jack a Napes. “So do I now.”

He ripped open his shirt collar to reveal a dully glowing brass torc at his throat. It was old, really old, and a thing of power. I could feel its presence, as though some ancient predator long thought extinct had just stepped into a jungle clearing and showed its teeth.

“That’s not a Drood torc,” said Roxie. “What is that, Eddie?”

“I’m not sure,” I said.

“You should know Druid magic when you see it,” said Jack a Napes. “This is Lud’s Ward. Lost for centuries, but I tracked it down. Just so I could use it against you, Drood. As long as I wear Lud’s Ward, any attack on me is automatically turned back against the attacker. The best kind of defence; you don’t dare hurt me.”

“You always were the most passive-aggressive terrorist I ever knew,” I said. “But how is that thing going to help if I just stand here and refuse to attack you? You can’t make me fight you.”

“I don’t care what you do,” said Jack a Napes. “I’m going to kill you with my bare hands, for what you did. I’ve waited so long for this . . . to make you pay for what you put me through.”

“I haven’t done anything to you! This is all some stupid mistake!”

“No mistake,” said Jack a Napes. “Your family destroyed my love, and my life. I can’t get to them, but I can get to you.”

“Jack,” I said, “this isn’t like you.”

“It is now,” he said.

He launched himself at me, still smiling that fixed, hateful smile. I just had time to think there was something wrong in the way he moved, and then Jack a Napes’ clawed hands were reaching for my throat. Roxie stabbed one hand at him, and the air between them crackled with
unnatural energies. I tensed for a moment, before recognising it as a simple immobilization spell. But the magic didn’t even reach Jack a Napes; it rebounded and blasted Roxie right off her feet. She hit the ground hard. Jack a Napes laughed softly; it was a satisfied, happy sound. And I finally accepted this wasn’t the Jack a Napes I’d known. That gentle soul was gone, replaced by a killer. And I’d had enough of him.

I armoured up, and almost gasped as new strength and a marvellous sense of well-being slammed through me. I hadn’t realised how run-down I’d been feeling, until I didn’t feel it any more. I pushed that thought aside for later and went to meet Jack a Napes. I still didn’t want to hurt him, but he wasn’t giving me any choice. I couldn’t let him hurt Molly.

I punched him in the face with a golden fist. A blow hard enough to ensure any normal man would sleep through the rest of the day. It felt like I’d punched a mountain; something implacably hard and unyielding. My fist was stopped dead, just short of Jack’s face. He grinned at me, savouring the moment, as I took a punch in the face so hard, I cried out in spite of myself.

I staggered backwards, my head ringing inside my armour. I hadn’t realised how literal Lud’s Ward was. My face pulsed with pain. I looked up to find Jack a Napes lunging at me, hands outstretched and his face full of a terrible anticipation.

Both hands fastened around my throat. Steel-hard fingers, inside my armour, choking the breath out of me. That shouldn’t have been possible, but Lud’s magic was old magic, predating the Droods. I threw myself back and forth across the alley, trying to break his grip, but I couldn’t. He thrust his face into my featureless golden mask, still smiling, and he didn’t look like Jack at all. I grabbed hold of his wrists with my golden hands and tried to crush them, and then cried out and had to stop as my own wrists were crushed. I tripped him, and we both crashed to the ground. I’d hoped the impact would shake him free,
but it didn’t. I wound up flat on my back, with him kneeling on my chest and strangling the life out of me.

His face was very close now, twisted with hate. I hit him again and again in the ribs, but only I felt the blows. My lungs strained. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t believe this was how I was going to die. In a filthy back alley, at the hands of an old friend, for reasons that made no sense at all. The thought infuriated me, so much it cleared my head and I knew what to do.

I reached through my armoured side with my armoured hand. The two surfaces melded seamlessly together, allowing my bare hand to reach deep into my pocket, and the pocket dimension I keep there. It was hard to concentrate, with Jack a Napes’ hands closing my throat and his laughter in my face, but I pulled out the handful of small plastic boxes the Armourer had given me. I dropped two, but kept hold of the green one. Then all I had to do was hit the button on the top and activate the neural inhibitor.

Jack a Napes howled miserably, his whole body convulsing as the field generated by the box scrambled his thoughts. His hands jumped away from my throat, and he fell backwards off my chest, scrabbling helplessly on the ground beside me. I sat up, breathing hard and fighting to get air into my lungs again. The box worked because Lud’s Ward didn’t recognise the electro-magnetic field as a physical attack. It was too old to know about science. I grabbed up all the plastic boxes and thrust them back into my pocket. And then I went after Jack a Napes. Because the neural inhibitor’s effects wouldn’t last much longer.

I grabbed hold of the brass torc round his neck, and crushed it in my golden hand. The torc shattered and fell apart. Because up close and personal, old Drood magic was never going to be a match for Ethel’s new strange matter. Jack a Napes sat up suddenly, and pushed me away. His face was clear, his thoughts working again. For a moment he didn’t realise what had happened, and then he put a hand to his torc,
found the crushed remnants of Lud’s Ward, and let out a wordless cry of rage.