Secret Pleasures (37 page)

“Going somewhere
?
Looks like you missed your chance to make your escape.”

“I was
.
”
S
he stood and walked over to him
,
cradling Melody
.
“
B
ut I could not leave without speaking with you
.
First tell me, how is Robert faring
?
Will he recover?”

Her voice sounded weak, hollow
.
She handed him Melody and he took her, too stunned to say anything
.
He wanted to hug
Ivy
, kiss her face, make love to her on what was intended to be their marriage bed until he could no longer think, move
.
And if he woke and she was gone, well, he’d been expecting that anyway.

“Arianna removed the musket ball
.
Only time will tell now
.
She was concerned about an infection.
”

Ivy nodded.

“Where were you going?
It’ll be dark in a couple of hours.
” Darien nestled Melody in the crook of his arm and swayed her back and forth.

“America.”

“What?
”
Darien’s shout sounded with the eruption of a musket
. 
Melody’s startled scream warned Darien to lower his voice
.
Ivy had retreated to the window or he would have thrust her back into her arms
.
“Is that why you extorted fifty thousand pounds from my father
?
You needed some traveling money
?
Here, take your child
.
Do you feel anything for me at all, Ivy
?
Have you ever?”

She gripped the chair back and tears filled her eyes
.
“You’re upsetting Melody.”

“Then take her,” Darien tried to thrust her towards Ivy.

She pursed her lips and shook her head
.
“I can’t
.
Not until you I tell you the truth.”

“That would be refreshing
.
I cannot imagine why I should believe you.
”
He pulled Melody into his chest, her arms and legs kicking, her little face angry red
.
Fat tears leaked from her eyes and Darien cradled her more securely
.
She wrapped her fists in his shirt, hanging on to him even though he’d been the initial cause of her upset
.
“Shh
.
I’m sorry, little love
.
I won’t shout again.”

Melody settled down to a muffled sniffle
.
He glanced at Ivy, who watched them in obvious horror, squeezing the chair back as if it took all her power not to toss it out of the way and rip Melody from his arms.

“Start with the money.
”
Darien forced himself to smile
.
He couldn’t yell if he kept grinning like an idiot
.
“Why did you ask my father for fifty thousand pounds?”

“Because I thought Melody was his child and she deserved it. I planned to get even more than that for her once I left England.”

Darien could only stare wide-eyed
.
It was true
.
The worst was true
.
“You were his bloody mistress after all.”

Melody wrinkled her nose in a red-faced warning Darien heeded. He jostled her gently
.

“Maybe I don’t want the truth,” Darien almost whispered
.

“Diana de Rachelle is Melody’s birth mother
.
I was not sure of her father until recently.
”

“Diana?
”
Darien glanced down at the child and saw a thick head of dark blond hair and large brown eyes
.
Not Diana’s blond classical beauty
.
She looked more like Ivy’s child or
…
A Blackmore.

He glanced at Ivy.

“Diana would not reveal the identity of the father but claimed he had noble blood
.
She wanted me to raise Melody
—
the name Diana chose for her
—
and to never let her daughter know the circumstances of her birth.”

“Is this my sister and you failed to mention it?
”
He studied Melody’s face
.
His father’s eyes were blue like Philip’s
,
but Darien and his sister had inherited their dark looks from their mother
. 

Ivy bowed her head, hiding her face, but he could hear her harsh intake of breath and knew she cried in earnest
.
Ivy did not shed tears like normal women and her broken sobs terrified him.

“You’re not saying I’m the father?
”
Surely he would have known.

“You would know better than I.
”
Ivy gasped for breath, but failed to gain control of her emotional deluge
.
Even Melody had turned in his arms to puzzle over Ivy’s condition
.
“Are you Melody’s father?”

“I had not seen Diana in
…
”
Darien tried to recall the last time he saw Diana
.
London had been hot, so it must have been late summer
.
There had been a ram he’d been interested in purchasing from a farmer in the midlands
.
So it had been June
.
Well over a year ago
.
He glanced down at Melody
.
If time were the only deciding factor, Darien would be extremely concerned
.
“I only saw Diana on occasion
.
I rarely ventured into London, as you well know
.
We weren’t even lovers until after my father had abandoned her.
”
Darien shrugged
.
“We comforted each other.
”

Darien glanced down at Melody, who stared at him with desperation
.
Her mouth turned into an “o” of surprised fascination as she purposely held his gaze
.
She appeared to be waiting for his answer, waiting for someone to claim her
.
Darien glanced at that someone and knew that Ivy might not have given birth to her, but she loved her as much as any biological mother would.

“Diana said the father was not a paying customer but another lonely soul
.
When I insisted she contact the father, she claimed it would be too upsetting for his family
.
And her name
.
Melody
.
You said you played for Diana?”

“She loved music,” Darien said, though he sensed he was incriminating himself
.

“I love Melody
.
I never thought I could love anything so much.
”
Ivy smiled, but her lips wobbled
.
“After our broken engagement and then your belief that I would ever be your father’s mistress
—
Darien, I thought my heart would never heal
.
I would do anything for Melody
.
I will devote my life to making hers all it can be.”

“Are you asking my permission to leave me and take my daughter?
”
Darien glanced down at the warm bundle in his arms
.
Her heavy eyelids fluttered to stay open
.
Long dark lashes brushed her delicate cheeks
.
She popped her tiny thumb in her mouth and began to suck.

“Henry Maddox was here
.
He threatened all of us.
”
Ivy’s words tore Darien from his thoughts.

Darien tensed and Melody’s sleepy eyes grew suddenly alert
.
She drew her eyebrows together, the first signs of her displeasure
.
He strode to Ivy
.
“Take her. Please
.
I think she’s hungry.”

Ivy clutched Melody to her chest, kissed the top of her head, and patted her back in slow, soothing circles
.
“He walked right in while I was bathing Melody
.
He didn’t believe I was her mother
.
He says he’ll discover the truth and ruin Melody’s future
.
I believe him, Darien.”

“He told me he didn’t think I was her father, either
.
If he does find anything out, he’ll be in for a rude awakening
.
Of course, no ruder than the one I just had, though I don’t think he will ever find out
.
No one knew of my relationship with Diana.”

Darien searched the single dresser for the whiskey bottle he had once kept there but found the scarred wood lined with Ivy’s perfumes and powders instead
.
He had too much to comprehend, but one thing was certain, Ivy could not leave him
.
Certainly not while taking his own child with her.

Darien swung around to face Ivy
.
“What exactly did Henry Maddox say
?
How d
id he threaten you?”

“It’s not
me
I’m worried about
.
If Maddox discovers the truth about Melody, it will haunt her all her life
.
Diana did not want that for her daughter and neither do I
.
You have no idea what it’s like to be an outcast, Darien.”

“Don’t I?
”
Darien yanked off his bloody shirt
.
He rummaged through a drawer, sure he had hidden a bottle of whiskey somewhere
.
“Look where I live.”

Ivy shook her head
.
“That’s your choice, and I think you love it here
.
I know I do
.
Even so, being branded a harlot’s bastard is not the same.”

“Then why are you in such a rush to leave me
?
Did I not say I would claim Melody
?
Apparently, that will not require much subterfuge on my part.
”
He strode to the center of the room eager to yank the chair Ivy kept protectively between them away from her.

“You knew my intentions to leave England from the beginning.”

“Italy is not America.”

“I wanted a new start for Melody
.
I wanted her to have all I never had.”

“You were not born to a dock-side prostitute.
”
Darien glanced to the ceiling
.
“I’m sorry, Diana
.
She had much more humble beginnings than she wanted anyone to know.”

“I knew
.
And I understood the desperation that left her little options and then condemned her for doing what she must to survive.”

“You had parents who loved you and took care of you.”

Ivy strode to Darien
.
“My father had been gambling long before you erupted into my life
.
We never knew when we would be turned from our rented rooms or when some creditor would come banging on the door.”

She dropped her gaze as if she were ashamed and laid Melody in her crib
.

He came up behind her, gripped her upper arms
.
When she leaned back against him, the dread that had filled him since Westhaven had delivered his damning news instantly evaporated
.

“Tell me,” he whispered near her ear
.
“Nothing you can say will change the way I feel about you.
”
Finally he realized the brutal truth
.

“There is nothing to tell except that I understood at an early age that I would someday be a valuable commodity to my family
.
Thankfully, I fell in love with you before my father could seal a bargain with the highest bidder
.
Nothing tawdry, mind you
.
I would indeed be marrying our gracious benefactor.”

Darien wrapped an arm around her waist
.
“Ivy, why did you not tell me?”

She broke free of his grasp
.
“Because there was nothing to tell, really
.
I wasn’t the only girl to be shopped around for wealthy, marriageable prospects
.
Except that there was the possibility that I could not bear children.
”
She turned to face him
.
“We weren’t sure, and I’m sorry I kept it from you
.
My mother told me you would not marry me if I told you the possibility existed.”