Secret Seduction (14 page)

“Deal,” he said and put his hand in hers.

His body heat seeped through her. Her temperature was rising in anticipation—a dip in the hot tub and she’d be blistering hot for him.

All day long, from the plane ride to the hotel check-in, every time his shoulder brushed hers or she caught a whiff of his decadent cologne she felt a sexual jolt clean through her bones.

Did everyone experience this kind of awareness at least once in their lives? What if, she wondered, as she slipped out of her clothes and into the bubbling waters of the spa tub, once their fling was over, she never felt this way again? The thought made her feel suddenly sad. To spend the rest of her life without this zesty zing of sexual awareness she experienced every time she looked at or touched Tanner.

Get a grip, Vanessa.

Love wasn’t about sex, lust or romance. Real love was based on respect, admiration, kindness and trust.

Trust.

There was the real issue. The nitty-gritty. She trusted him with her body but not her heart. How screwed up was that logic? And was there any way to overcome it?

She didn’t know. These feelings were all so dangerous and new. Before she had time to follow the thought, he joined her in the hot tub, buck-naked as the day he was born.

“Ah,” he said, sliding in deep and leaning his head against the redwood decking. “This feels like sin.”

He was sitting across from her but all she’d have to do to touch him was tip her toe forward in the water.

“This lifestyle could seriously become addicting,” Vanessa agreed.

A half grin played across Tanner’s face. “I’m all for it. When do we move here? We could get a grass hut on the beach. I’d be a diving instructor and you could sell puca beads.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

He grinned. “As if you could walk away from medicine.”

He was right, but she didn’t like that he already knew her so well. At least he seemed to know who she was now and had no idea who she’d been.

She should tell him. All of it. Her past. Her fears. The night terrors that still haunted her dreams. The reason she kept the beaded necklace dangling from the desk lamp in her office. Licking her lips, she swallowed, her throat suddenly dry.

Sexual tension simmered between them. He looked at her through blue eyes shining with desire. The last thing she wanted was to see all that sizzling lust replaced with disgust. She brushed a strand of hair from her face and watched him watching her. “Have you ever been in the Bahamas before?”

“Spring break, one year in college. You?”

“Nope.” She shook her head. “You’re not going to believe this, but I’ve never been on vacation. A medical conference is the closest I’ve come.”

“No kidding?”

She nodded.

“Now that’s just sad.”

“What can I say? My job is my life.”

“I’m sure that Confidential Rejuvenations appreciates your dedication,” Tanner said.

“One would hope so.”

“Do you intend on staying there after you finish your residency?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead.” She shrugged, wanting to get the discussion off her. “Who went with you when you came to the Bahamas. Your frat brothers?”

“For one, I wasn’t in a fraternity. For another, when I came here, I was traveling with my parents and my younger sister.”

“You’re kidding. Going on spring break with your parents? How mortifying for you.”

“Hey,” he said. “I was a good kid. I liked spending time with my folks. The trip was a reward for getting straight A’s my freshman year.”

“So I’m not the only workaholic in the hot tub.”

“Guilty as charged.”

“At last,” she said. “Something in common.”

“Of course, coming here with my parents cramped my style. I had to sneak out at night to go cruising for girls.”

“Did you find anyone?”

“Kissed a girl on the beach.”

“And you said you were a good kid.”

“A good kid, yes. A saint, no.” He grinned. “My mother caught me sneaking back in, and I confessed the whole thing.”

“You could have just lied to her.”

Tanner laughed, a hearty deep-chested laugh that rippled over her skin like the evening breeze. “What? And get bumps on my tongue?”

“Excuse me?”

“My mother always told me if I lied to her I’d get bumps on my tongue.”

“And it worked? You believed her?”

“Yeah.”

“Is your mom still alive?”

“Yeah, my dad, too.”

She wondered what it was like to be part of a loving family like that. “Where do they live?”

“They retired to Corpus to live closer to my sister, nearer the grandkids,” he said.

“Nieces? Nephews?”

“One of each. Brooke is four and Vince just turned two.”

She shifted in the churning waters. “You have any other siblings?”

“Nah, just Claire. You?”

She shrugged.

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“I have three older stepbrothers, but we were never close. They were almost grown when my stepfather married my mom.”

“Your mother is still living?”

“Look,” Vanessa said, and pointed at the sky, desperate not to talk about her family. “A falling star.”

“Where?”

“You missed it.”

“Did you make a wish?” he asked.

“What for?”

“Whenever you see a falling star you’re supposed to wish on it and your wish will come true. Didn’t anyone ever tell you about that? I think it’s even in some Disney song,” he said.

“We didn’t buy into magical thinking in the barrio,” she said. “Life was about survival and not much else. Wishing on stars wasn’t even an option. Now, if you want to talk lottery tickets…” She chuckled.

He wasn’t smiling. “Your childhood was spent in poverty?”

“I wouldn’t say actual poverty. We had food on the table, but my mother and I were on welfare for a time until she married my stepfather. I would have rather stayed in poverty than have her marry him,” she whispered, hearing the bitterness in her own voice.

“Why’s that?”

“Earl’s a redneck bastard.” Instantly she wished she’d kept her mouth shut. Vanessa had never talked about the conditions she’d grown up in, and she didn’t want to talk about them now. “We were happy until he showed up. After that my mother changed. She became a completely different person.”

“Do you still talk to her?”

“No. She chose Earl over having a relationship with me.”

Tanner didn’t say anything for the longest time, then finally he said, “What happened to your real father?”

She shrugged again, picked up her wineglass and took a long sip before setting it back on the redwood decking. The jets of the hot tub gurgled. In the distance she could hear the tree frogs calling into the night. She didn’t want to answer him. While it was an innocent enough question, whenever their conversations crept to her past she felt as if Tanner was on a fishing expedition and she didn’t want to be forced into revealing more of herself than she was ready to give.

“Sometimes,” he said lightly, “talking to you feels like a tug-of-war. Or a fencing match. I thrust, you parry and in the end there’s still a veil of secrets, half truths and deceptions.”

He was right. She’d spent her adult life skirting memories of her childhood, most of the time pretending it had never happened, the rest of the time, trying her damnedest to rise above it. “What’s the point of talking about it? The past is past.”

And yet part of her longed to tell him everything, to let him know who she was inside and out. Vanessa blamed the sexy look in his sky-blue eyes and the dimple in his cheek.

“How will you ever be able to let go of the past if you can’t talk about it?” Tanner asked.

“Do you talk about Maria?”

He grunted. “You’re too astute for my own good.”

“You tell me about Maria, I’ll tell you about my childhood.” There that ought to shut him up.

He acknowledged her with a slight nod, but she couldn’t make out his expression in the dark. He was so good at hiding his thoughts behind that handsome face. The only time she knew he was showing his true self was when they were in bed together. Then she realized she must appear the same way to him. It was a startling realization. No wonder they had sex so much.

“You’re on,” he said.

“Really?” She hadn’t expected that reaction.

“Yes. I’m putting my money where my mouth is. I’ll even go first. Ask me whatever questions you want.”

She didn’t really want to know. Lazily she lifted her hair off her shoulders with a hand. “Where did you meet your wife?”

“My father worked for Maria’s father. We’d known each other since we were teenagers, but I was four years older.”

“Childhood sweethearts.” Vanessa sighed, thinking about how she’d spent her teenage years.

“Not exactly, but when I came home from college and saw Maria all grown-up, well, I stopped looking at her like an annoying little kid. Both our parents were all for the relationship. Being with her felt so familiar, you know. So easy.”

She didn’t know. Nothing had ever come easily for Vanessa, but she didn’t interrupt his narrative to say so. She reached for the wine again. It had grown warm from being so near the heat of the hot tub, but she drank it anyway.

“The deal was, we would wait until she finished college before we got married, but Maria was never much of a student. All she ever wanted was to be a wife and a mother.” His voice changed then, grew tight.

“You don’t have to go on.”

“I want to,” he said. “I want you to know who I am. I want you to know what’s formed me.”

“All right,” she whispered. She wanted to know and yet she didn’t.

“But Maria never got to be a mom. One night while I was on the road with Governor Perry, Maria went down to the corner convenience store to buy a pint of Cherry Garcia. She loved Ben & Jerry’s. She walked in the door and there was a robbery in progress….”

Vanessa reached over to touch Tanner’s hand. “It’s all right. I’m a doctor. I know the realities of life. You don’t have to say any more. I can see this is ripping you up inside. I can imagine what happened.”

The truth was that his story was ripping her up inside. It hurt to see him hurting. She’d never intended to make him relive such a painful moment.

“No,” he said. “You’re right. I haven’t completely let go of her memory, and I want to do that. I loved her. She’s gone, but I’m still here. I want to move on. I want to be able to love again, but I can’t. We can’t move forward with our relationship until we trust each other completely.”

He was staring at her. She could feel the heat of his gaze. Her heart lurched with hope, too much hope. It scared her to think that he might ever love her as much as he’d loved his wife.

“Vanessa,” Tanner whispered low in his throat and crossed the distance of the hot tub to kiss her. He smelled so earthy and sensual. His stubbled jaw brushed against her chin.

“Yes?”

“Would you like the most mind-blowing sex of your life?”

“What kind of question is that?” She laughed. “Of course I would.”

“Then I’m going to have to do something to you that will require the utmost trust on your part.”

“What exactly do you have in mind?”

“Do you trust me? This is all about trust.”

She stared into his eyes. Her heart rate slowed to thick, strong but languid beats that felt amplified in the deep of night. He was offering her the best sex of her life in exchange for her total trust. This wasn’t going to be easy for her.

She gulped. “I’ll try.”

“We’ll need a safe word,” Tanner said. “You pick it. If at any moment you want out of this, all you have to do is say the word.”

She licked her lips. “Fantasia.”

“Fantasia?”

“That’s it. That’s the safe word.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in Disney magic.” He grinned.

“Maybe I’m hoping you’ll prove me wrong.”

“Fantasia it is,” he said.

And the next thing she knew he was wrapping her in a bathrobe, picking her up in his big, strong arms and carrying her into the bungalow.

Tanner had opened his big mouth and told Vanessa he could give her the best sex of her life, and now that she was sitting on the bed in their cozy little bungalow and the moment was at hand, he was seriously doubting his ability to pull this off.

What if he failed?

Vanessa’s ability to trust the opposite sex lay in his hands and his normal self-confidence deserted him. Especially because that dynamite body of hers, barely hidden beneath the terry-cloth bathrobe, drove him to distraction.

Tanner refused to be like the other men of her acquaintance. He didn’t wanted to let her down and he intended on devoting himself to pleasuring her by putting his own needs on hold. That’s what she deserved.

Vanessa was exceptional. And he aimed to please.

Just looking at her secretive smile sent searing-hot blood rushing to his groin. Damn. Thanks to her, he was getting five or six hard-ons a day. An astonishing record that rivaled his teenage years.

There was so much he wanted to show her, so much he wanted to learn from her and he wanted the relationship to be more than just sex.

Don’t get greedy. Take what she’ll give and stop hoping for a miracle.

He had to accept that she might never be willing to give him anything more than her body. And he had to face his own limitations, as well. She was an intelligent, educated doctor; he was nothing more than a bodyguard. She didn’t trust easily and he wasn’t sure he’d fully recovered from losing Maria, but damn if he didn’t want to try to love again.

For tonight, it was enough that she’d agree to let him take the lead. That she’d agreed to try to trust him. It was all he could ask.

Vanessa cleared her throat, and Tanner realized several minutes had passed where he’d done little more than stare at her.

“So.” She rubbed her palms together, and that’s when he realized she was as nervous as he. “When do we begin this thing?”

New recruits on their first day of battle couldn’t have been more unstrung than he was. Tanner took a step toward her, his heart pounding. Damn she was breathtaking. Her golden skin glowed in the muted lamplight, her features arranged in an erotic orchestration of enthusiasm and excitement and need.

Gone was her normally reserved doctor demeanor. A fervent gleam sparkled from her eyes dark as Guinness. This was the same woman who’d picked him up at Emilio’s. The wild woman lurking behind her cool facade.

Her lips were tipped up in a wicked grin. She completely bowled him over. Weakened his knees.

You’re the man. Take charge of the situation. Do something, Doyle, before she backs out.

But he couldn’t help staring at her. “You’re so beautiful,” he said.

She met his gaze. “Not half-bad yourself.”

He stepped toward her, naked as the day he was born, water from the hot tub clinging to his skin. His erection jutted like a ship mast.

Boldly he reached out a hand to her. “Come here.”

She giggled. He’d never believed a simple giggle could have such a profound effect on him. His heart squeezed and his balls drew up tight.

Tanner eased down on the bed beside her, hooked a finger under her chin and looked her deeply in the eyes. “Do you trust me?”

He could tell this was difficult for her, letting go of her control, trusting a man she didn’t know very well. She was accustomed to being in charge, but that was exactly why it was so important for her to do this.

She nodded, her expression softening. “I’m working on it.”

He was surprised by how much she wanted this, wanted him. Enough to go against her instincts. He saw her pulse racing in the hollow of her throat and the intoxicating sight caused him to stiffen harder.

She watched him as he drew the tie from her bathrobe. Her breathing quickened as he slowly ran his hands over the terry-cloth material until he had one end clutched in his fist.

The tip of her tongue flicked out to moisten her lips. A glimmer of expectation lit her eyes.

She looked from the bathrobe tie to his face and back again. She clenched her jaw. He saw the muscles working beneath her skin.

“You want to know what I’m going to do with this?”

She nodded.

“I’m going to tie you up in knots. The way you’ve tied me up from the minute I met you.”

Vanessa gulped and a tremor passed through her at the wolfish expression in Tanner’s smoky blue eyes, at the unmistakable feral intent, but she wasn’t scared. Instead, she was extremely turned-on and acutely aware of her body’s heated response. The reckless stagger of her pulse. The tingling in her veins and low in her taut belly. The sudden dryness in her palms and equally sudden moistness in her sex.

“Lie back on the bed,” he commanded.

Goose bumps raising on her arms, she obeyed.

“Spread-eagle.”

No, no, screamed the part of her that had never been this unguarded with a man, but the part of her that longed for something more, something deeper, something truly intimate, argued against her natural fear and resistance.

Take a chance.

Tentatively Vanessa stretched out her arms, spread her legs, offering herself up like a sacrifice to the gods of sex.

He leaned over her, his bare chest bumping into hers as he secured the tie around her wrist. He stepped back, moved across the room. He returned a minute later with two leather belts and his bathrobe tie. Taking his time, he staked her to the bedposts.

Her nipples hardened and her body became damp in instant response to the sexy situation. She was completely at his mercy.

A spark of fear touched her then. Fear and an accompanying thrill that raced her pulse.

Then he opened her robe and eased his big body down on top of her.

Vanessa found herself sliding against him, allowing pleasure to drown out the niggling voice in the back of her mind that kept reminding her she had to stay on guard at all times. She was so tired of being distrustful, of keeping up her armor. It was exhausting and she was weary of the burden. She wanted to trust. Wanted to love.

With his broad hands caressing her body and the smell of him in every breath she took, Vanessa forgot about everything else. The only thought in her head was of Tanner.

He kissed her sweetly, pressing his lips to her eyelids, the tip of her nose, her cheeks and her chin. He nibbled her bottom lip and dragged his palms over her breasts, down her ribs until she trembled with anticipation.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“What for?” she whispered.

“Trusting me. I know it’s difficult for you.”

His words were so heartfelt she could not answer. Vanessa immersed herself in the feel of his body, all hard muscles and hot skin. He wound his legs around hers and cradled the sides of her face in his palms as he kissed her.

She absorbed his embrace, wanting nothing more than to let this new, tentative hopefulness override everything else. To let magic erase the harshness of reality, to let Tanner carry her away on a sweet dream.

His body anchored her to the bed as if he was savoring the feel of them pressed together. As if he, like her, wanted to capture this moment forever in his memory. He buried his face in her hair and he breathed deeply, inhaling her scent in a simple gesture that stirred the deepest chambers of her heart.

Did he have any idea exactly how much he was dismantling her? How close she was to giving up the fight and just giving in and accepting the feelings surging inside of her?

“I love being with you like this,” he said.

“What? Me tied up and helpless?”

“No. You trusting me to make love to you and not hurt you.”

A lock of blond hair fell over his forehead, giving him an endearing, vulnerable look that sank her heart. She wanted to erase his pain. Take all that he’d suffered and make everything right again in his world. And most of all, she realized, she wanted him to take away her pain.

The overwhelming urge shocked and surprised her. What was it about Tanner Doyle that made her want to rethink her own life? Remake his?

He caressed her neck, stroking his fingers over the heated pulse throbbing at the base of her throat.

The oaken scent of his woodsy cologne filled her senses. The smell of a handsome man with thick blond hair and challenging blue eyes.

Time hung confused. Minutes were hours; hours minutes. The night spun long as a fairy tale.

Tanner flicked his tongue across the skin beneath her breast. Her chest jerked in. She craved touching him, but her hands were tied. He was in control and she had to accept it.

With his teeth, he nipped a path from her neck across her naked collarbone, sampling the taste of her skin. Vanessa wanted a taste of him. It was tortuous not being able to enjoy his delicious, earthy flavor. Strangely the deprivation aroused her even more.

The humid midnight ocean breeze blowing in through the open window enveloped her like velvet. Vanessa inhaled deeply, savoring the damp feel of it on her bare skin.

He was so different from the other men she’d known. Not smoothly polished like the doctors she’d dated, but not crude and boorish like the men she’d grown up with, either. Tanner was totally masculine with his steely blue eyes, beard stubble and hard muscles, but there was an elegant self-assurance about him, as well. He possessed the confidence of a man who knew his place in the world and assumed his duties with grace and honor and dignity.

The contrast in him piqued her interest. The good boy with the wicked grin that told her he wasn’t quite as good as everyone thought. Each layer, every nuance, revealed something new about him every time they hooked up. Was she revealing as much to him?

The thought threw her.

She noticed how his eyes darkened whenever he looked at her, how his penis stiffened against her. She could feel his muscles bunching, his body tensing. Wriggling beneath him, she breathed in his scent, lifted her head and ran her tongue down his breastbone.

He sat up, straddled her, exploring her fully in the lamplight. She was glad he’d taken over, made her play this game of bondage. Even though he was a man in a position of power and authority, Tanner didn’t intimidate her.

She tugged on her bindings, trying to get enough slack to touch him.

“No hands, no touching. I’m in control,” he said. “You must obey me.”

Another thrill shot through her.

“Yes, master,” she whispered. She’d never played such a daring game and she loved it even though she had expected not to.

Gliding his hands down her rib cage, he pushed her bathrobe open, exposing her body fully to him. He hissed in his breath as if she’d burned him and then he planted a series of slow kisses around her navel.

Her abdomen contracted. It was her turn to gasp. “You like tormenting me,” she accused.

He laughed. “No more than you enjoy tormenting me.”

Tanner went back to her throat, surfing the length of her body with his own, pressing her into the plush, soft mattress.

She obeyed his wretched rules even though it was killing her not to run her hands along his muscled chest, not to touch his hard, throbbing shaft.

She wiggled against him, turning his erection into stone, savoring the sound of the deep-seated sigh from his throat.

Ha! He wasn’t the only one who knew a few torture techniques.

Suspended over her, his mouth to her flesh, hard chest grazing her nipples, his hand roved down to lightly cup the heat of her sex. Each move he made was calculated to taunt and tease. His erection pressed into her. He kissed and teased and tormented her, bringing her to the brink of climax before backing off.

She cursed him.

He laughed.

“I can’t stand it anymore,” she whispered. “Please, Tanner, please. I want you inside me.”

“Not yet, babe,” he said. “Not yet.”

“You’re driving me crazy.”

“That’s my intention.”

“Keep in mind I give as good as I get. When I get out of these ties…”

“That’s precisely what I’m counting on.” He winked at her and she felt the thrill of the moment close over her like a velvet glove.

His eyes met hers and the raw, open honesty she saw there tightened her chest. His fingers explored her, gliding over her soft mons to the treasures hidden inside her. “My, my,” he said, as he dipped a finger into her slick wetness. “What have we here.”

His question sent shivery waves of pure anticipation over her. She let out a shaky breath. What was it that made everything between them seem so significant? Every touch, every look, every word held a deeper meaning.

Vanessa didn’t know. She only knew that ever since she met him she couldn’t keep her hands off him, no matter the consequences.

His body was exquisite, hard and lean and chiseled. He could have been an art class model. He was the perfect specimen of physical vigor. His legs were long and layered with well-defined muscles. Tanner’s hands advanced in ever-widening circles, down her spine to her lower back and then to her buttocks where he teased with firmer caresses.

She felt sexy deep in the most intimate part of her. Sexy and wet and desperate for this man.