Secret Storm (4 page)

She gave him a weak smile, pushed the door
open and ran down the sidewalk.

Jack watched her disappear, still feeling her
hand on his heart. Had he completely misread her? After three and a
half years of flirting, teasing, and wishing, they were finally
both single, but....

Is she interested?
Her tug on his
shirt felt like an invitation, but she'd used the same hand to push
him away.
Who knows where we
'
re going to end
up
...
.

Graduation was getting close, and after that?
Sara hadn't decided on grad school, and Jack didn't know where he'd
find a job. Sara wouldn't consider another long-distance
relationship, but he could find a way to be with her if she'd give
him the chance. Was the opportunity staring them in the face really
just a mirage?

***

Sara unlocked her front door and dropped her
backpack on the coffee table. Jane hadn't come home yet so she fell
back on the couch and closed her eyes, questions flooding her
brain. Jack had wanted to kiss her. She'd wanted to kiss him. Why
had she stopped him? For more than three years, she'd wondered how
it would feel to have his lips on hers. Why had she pushed him
away?

"So close to graduation...." What a lame
excuse. They still had time. If she really wanted to be with Jack,
she would find a way.

Do I want him?

Do I really need to ask?

Yes! I want him.

So what's the problem?

The door opened and Jane dumped her stuff in
the front hall. "Hi, Sara, how was your day?" She plopped down on
the couch.

"Confusing," Sara answered without
thinking.

"What happened?"

How much should I tell her, if anything?

When Jane and Austin got together, she had
practically forbidden Jane to talk about it. But that was
different. Sara felt closer to Jane than to any of her own
sisters—she should confide in her. "Jack tried to kiss me."

"Tried to? What stopped him?"'

"I did."

"Why?"

"I don't know!" Sara groaned and flopped back
against the couch.

"As long as I've known you, you've been
wishing he was single when you were, and now he is—and you are—so
what's the problem?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out." She
rubbed her forehead. "What are you making for dinner?" She hated
cooking, so she let her friend take over that chore, but Jane loved
it.

"Haven't decided."

She thought sending her roommate to the
kitchen to make dinner would give her a chance to think clearly,
but sitting alone in their big empty living room seemed even
worse.

Sara had put the room together artfully,
lining the wall behind them with bookshelves and arranging the
coffee table in the middle. Now, instead of the room feeling open
and big, the walls closed in on her. She needed to move things
around and open up the room so she could breathe. That might help.
She stood up and put her hands on her hips, trying to decide what
to move first. Maybe if she pushed the couch back against the wall
and arranged the bookshelves around the TV....

"You and Jack have known each other forever,
but I can't remember how you met him."

Apparently, talking interested Jane more than
cooking. What could it hurt?

Sara settled back on the couch and closed her
eyes, recalling memories from their freshman year at Bayfield. Most
of them good, but a few painful ones mixed in. "I was dating Austin
when I met Jack."

Jane cringed. "Ooo... sorry to bring that
up."

"That's okay." The hurt in that memory had
faded. Her relationship with Austin hadn't ended well, but Jack had
helped her deal with it and move on. "We went to McGinley's one
night, and Jack was there with his girlfriend... Tina? Austin
introduced us, and I was immediately attracted to Jack."

"What drew you to him?"

"He was so different from Austin. They have
the same dirty sense of humor, and they both like to flirt, but
Jack comes across as sincere even when he's teasing. I'd started to
see through Austin's charm so Jack's honesty was very appealing to
me."

"Jack flirted with you in front of his
girlfriend? That sounds more like Austin."

Sara smiled.
Ah... good memories.
"He
was subtle, very clever. Tina didn't catch it. Austin didn't
either."

"Austin doesn't catch the obvious."

"I did though, and I gave it right back to
him. I think it surprised him. That's why he liked me."

Jane settled back against the couch. "You
guys connected right from the beginning."

"Yes we did." She still felt tingles when she
looked at him. "Austin is cute—tall and wiry—devilish good looks. I
don't have to tell you."

Jane giggled.

"But Jack is ruggedly handsome. It doesn't
matter that he's shorter than Austin, because he's so muscular. I
love his square jaw and his eyes are so intense I swear he's
looking right into me. Penetrating—that's a good word."

"A very sexual word."

Ah yes... the memories just keep getting
better.
"Well, our first conversation was about sex."

"Seriously?"

"Austin started it."

"I'm not surprised."

"I don't remember how we got on the subject,
but Austin said that women shouldn't have more sex partners than
they could count on one hand. I disagreed with him."

***

"That's such a double standard, Austin."

"What do you mean?" Austin put down his beer
and frowned.

"How many partners have you had?"

Austin started counting on his fingers.

Jack laughed. "He'll start counting on his
toes next."

Sara scowled. "So you can have as many women
as you want, but I'm limited to five guys?"

"Yep." Austin grinned.

"Why?"

"Because sex means more to women. It's not
just about fun."

"I agree," Tina said. "I waited 'til I was
in love for my first time."

"Do you love Jack?" Austin said.

Tina turned to Jack and blushed.
"Um...."

Austin laughed. "I guess that means Jack's
not getting laid tonight."

Jack kicked him under the table.

"I was in love with my first too, but that
doesn't mean I don't have sex for fun," Sara argued.

Jack smiled and leaned in close to her.
"I'll bet you have a lot of fun." She shot him a nasty look, but he
didn't back away. "But that's not a bad thing. There's nothing
wrong with sex for pure pleasure—for men or women."

"I agree." She held her ground and looked at
him. "I like the way you think."

He smiled. "We think alike."

Austin maintained his position. "Sex for
fun, pleasure, whatever you want to call it, is great, but a girl
who has too much fun is...."

"Go on and say it. I dare you."

"Easy."

"A slut," Tina agreed.

Jack frowned. "So what do you call a guy who
has a lot of fun?"

"Lucky."

"That's exactly what I mean," Sara snapped.
"Double standard. You can call me a slut if you want. I'll take it
as a compliment."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "How's that?"

"It's an acronym: Sexually Liberated
Uninhibited...." Sara paused. "I haven't figured out the T
yet."

"Tempting," Jack smiled, his gaze sliding
over Sara. "Temptress."

"Tempting...." Sara returned his glance.
"Good choice, but the first two words are the most important."

"Sexually liberated."

"Exactly. I believe in sexual freedom."

"But with freedom comes responsibility."
Jack took a sip of his Coke.

"True. I am responsible with my sexual
freedom. I don't sleep with just anyone."

"I guess that means Austin's not getting
laid tonight."

Austin kicked Jack.

"And I'm responsible for my own pleasure,"
Sara said.

"What's that mean?" Austin scratched his
head.

Jack laughed at him. "Pressure's off
you."

Tina frowned.
"Yeah,
what
does that mean?"

Sara smiled at her. "I don't depend on a man
to give me an orgasm. Sure, it's nice to have a man there, but if
he doesn't do it for me, I can—oh wait—that's not coming out
right."

The guys laughed, but Tina hung on Sara's
every word.

"What I mean is, I don't resent my partner
if he can't do it for me. My pleasure starts with me and ends with
me."

"The guy is just along for the ride." Austin
grinned again.

Jack's eyes met Sara's. "I love roller
coasters."

***

"And then we started talking about our
favorite roller coasters, but....."

Jane smiled. "He was flirting with you."

"The funny part of the story happened the
next fall when Jack told me he got laid that night, and I told him
Austin didn't."

"Poor Austin."

Jack had also told her he couldn't stop
thinking about her. But of course, she was seeing someone else—a
scenario that had repeated itself on one side or the other for the
next three years... until now.

That thought brought Sara back to her
original question: why had she pushed Jack away when he'd tried to
kiss her? She wished she could talk to her mom about things like
this. She used to be able to tell her mother anything, but she had
just discovered boys when her mom got sick.

They'd never had the chance to share an adult
relationship.

Her cell phone rang. She picked it up and
looked at the number. "David."
Out with the good memories and in
with the bad.
"I don't want to talk to him right now." She put
down the phone and dug through her backpack for her notes.

"So what about Jack?"

Sara flipped through her notebook, reaching
for a highlighter. "I like Jack. I really like him." She shivered a
little, remembering his breath on her lips. "But I just can't—"

Her phone chimed and a text message lit up
the screen.
'Talk to me, baby. I need you.'
Sara growled.
"But I can't deal with men right now!" She turned the notebook page
so hard it ripped off in her hand. "It's all too much—David, Jack,
school, applying to grad school. Everybody needs something from
me."

Jane ducked as the notebook flew over her
head. "Good arm. You should join me on the softball team."

Sara snarled. "What am I supposed to do? I
can't take care of everything."

"Take care of yourself."

She got up to retrieve her notebook, picking
up the vase full of flowers she'd knocked over. "I can't. I have no
time for me." She opened the kitchen drawer to snatch a towel, then
slammed it shut.

"You have to. If you don't take care of
yourself, you won't be able to take care of anyone else."

Sara sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping.
She wiped up the spilled water and rearranged the scattered
flowers. Taking care of herself sure sounded good, but how? And
when? Another text message chimed through. "What does it say?" She
groaned.

"It's from your sister." Jane picked up the
phone. "Can you babysit tonight? Sorry for the short notice."

"Oh yeah, add my family to the list of
demands." She rolled her eyes and threw the wet towel into the
kitchen sink. "It's a good thing I didn't have any plans tonight."
She grabbed her phone and typed
'
yes'
back to her
sister, then stuffed her notebook into her backpack and searched
for her car keys. "I hope the kids aren't too wild. I need to
study."

"You need to learn to say no once in a
while."

"I can't say no. They only ask me to babysit
when they can't get anyone else."

"Are you sure? How many times have they asked
this year?"

Sara counted on her fingers until she ran out
of fingers.

"They ask because they know you won't say
no."

She grunted and pulled her keys from between
the couch cushions. "I gotta go." Halfway to the door, she stopped.
"Will you do something for me?" Sara rarely asked for anything, but
tonight she needed to.

"Sure."

"Will you bake the cake Jack and Austin like
so much?"

"My Better than Sex Cake? Yeah, that's what
we need. Do you have toffee?"

"You know where my stash is."

"Okay. It'll be waiting when you get
home."

"Thanks. Have a good night."

She stepped outside and let the brisk evening
breeze blow through her hair, enjoying a rare Midwest spring night,
when low humidity cooled the air after the sun went down. The first
stars twinkled like tiny white diamonds in the endless darkening
sky. Not a cloud in sight. A perfect night for baseball.

Sara made a mental note to go to the next
home game. She didn't have an athletic bone in her body, and wasn't
much of a sports fan, but she loved watching Jack play—intense and
focused no matter what the game: a bulldozer on the football field,
and an immovable road block at home plate. Base runners slammed
into him and went no farther. She'd love to feel Jack's body
slamming into hers.

So stop pushing him away, idiot!

She sighed and threw her backpack into her
car. The seam split, spilling books, notebooks, pens and papers all
over the backseat. She rolled her eyes and left the mess.

That Better than Sex Cake better be
good.

***

"Oh man, what a great game." Austin pitched
his glove onto the recliner and headed to the kitchen.

"Yeah, you shut their batters down." Jack
settled on the couch and stretched his feet up on the coffee
table.

"You almost took my head off throwing to
second."

"I picked off the runner though."

"Their only runner." Austin pumped out his
chest. "You want a beer?"

"No, dumbass. You know I don't drink."

"Just thought I'd ask." The pitcher grabbed a
bottle of water and threw it at his catcher, then grabbed a beer
for himself, tossed his glove on the floor, and collapsed in the
recliner and rested his feet on the coffee table next to
Jack's.