Secret Worlds (299 page)

I stepped into the corridor, my mind preoccupied with trying to figure out the puzzle my life had become. As I made my way to my room, I fell deeper and deeper into my thoughts. So much so I didn’t notice Enid’s voice calling out to me until he shouted.

“A’lainn?”

I turned around, concerned about the reason for his tone. “Yes?”

He had a worried expression on his face. The sadness in his eyes made them a darker blue. “Would you like anything brought to your room?”

I shook my head. “No, thank you.”

“Very well.” He nodded then turned on his heels and walked back into the dining hall.

I finished the trek to my room, stopping in front of the door to scrutinize how the vines and flowers moved and grew right in front of me.

“How is this done?” I asked myself, reaching out my hand to touch the door.

“Magic,” Marren whispered in my ear. I pulled my hand back and turned around to an empty hallway.

Shaking my head with a sigh, I pushed through the doors and then shut them behind me. I walked over to the sitting area of the room and took a seat facing the fire. I draped a leg over the arm of the chair and bounced it up and down as I stared at the lapping flames, mulling over my thoughts once more. The doors opened from the corner of my eye and someone step inside. I reluctantly stood and faced Marren.

“Relena,” he greeted, lowering his head slightly toward me.

“Marren,” I said and returned the same gesture.

“Enid tells me you have questions for me?”

I chuckled under my breath. “None you’d give answers to, unfortunately.”

“Try me.” His words hypnotized me.

I considered my recent experience with thinking he was behind me and chalked it up to the enchantment that had come over me since arriving. I stepped to the balcony and stared at the mountains I had come to realize were the Peaks of Domar. Marren joined me, leaning against the top of the stone railing. I glanced in his direction, a little uncomfortable with the way he stared at me so intently, waiting for a response. My cheeks warmed, and I decided to go with one of the most pressing questions first, since he’s so bent on answering them.

“What is your fascination with me?”

“Next question,” he said.

“You didn’t even answer that one,” I replied almost too fast.

“Next question.”

I sighed. “I still don’t understand what is going on at all, or the importance of me, or your interest with any of it. Makes my head spin.”

So does the way the sun glints off your black hair like starlight and the way it makes your skin sparkle.

I couldn’t help but think about how much had changed with me, and uncontrollably so. It had something to do with this place. This enchanted palace.

“That wasn’t a question.”

“No, it wasn’t.” I turned around and sat down with my back against the stone. “Will you explain what is going on?”

“No. Not yet.” He sat down with me and pulled up a knee to his chest, resting his arm on it, allowing his hand to dangle.

“Figures,” I muttered.

“You’re still convinced I’m trying to seduce you.” He smiled.

“I never once accused you of trying to seduce anyone. So, I don’t understand where you got that idea. I simply think you are conceited and you think you can woo any woman with a gaze or a smile. You think you’re charming, and you’re arrogant.”

He chuckled.

I sighed at my body’s reaction to his laughter. Partly out of annoyance and partly out of surrender. When I lifted my head to view the sky, I banged it against the stone railing with a loud thud. “Ow.”

Marren’s chuckle grew into a laugh. I tried to not let it sing to me, but I couldn’t fight for long. The sound controlled me, taking over my will. I joined in, laughing just as loud. I hated to admit how good it felt, even to myself.

“You should laugh more often,” he commented. His eyes held mine for a moment, and I caught the slight pull of his lips.

The soft lips…
my heart did a strange flip before sinking lower. The shift in me scared me. I’m always careful to maintain better control of myself. I shifted my sight away from him and cleared my throat.

“So, am I wrong?” I asked to change the subject.

“About which part?”

“My observation of you.”

“Yes,” he said more serious.

I shifted, facing him with my legs bent around me. “Then tell me about yourself?”

“What do you want to know?” He almost sounded too willing.

“I’m not falling for that again. You made a habit of avoiding or disregarding my questions.”

“I won’t avoid or disregard your questions,” he said.

“Sure you won’t,” I said, teasing.

He took in a deep breath and let it out in a heavy huff. “I don’t believe the things you say about me because I don’t see them. I don’t think I’m all that great looking, so I can’t see how I use my charms to get my way. I feel alone in this seemingly overcrowded world, and I’m completely fascinated with you for reasons I can’t explain.”

His eyes fell on mine with the last words he said.

I sucked in my breath, caught by the way he laid everything out. I got the same sensation in the pit of my stomach as I had the night before. He was telling the truth, and I believed him. Even more so, I related to him. I, too, felt alone in this world and never considered myself a thing of beauty. Both of us deal with a haunting reputation. Then, he admitted he was fascinated with me which brought on a whole other flux of emotions. I didn’t know whether I wanted to take flight from elation or cry as the pun of a cruel joke. At that moment, it became clear he had knocked down the walls I built to protect myself. I was confused as well as terrified.

“You can breathe,” he said.

“I think I forgot how to,” I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

“Come on. I want to show you something.” He stood and held out his hand for me. After taking it, he led me down the stairs to the doors with the two armored figures on either side. He pushed them open, letting the sight of the garden fill my eyes. The jagged stone pathway circled around a giant statue of a woman bending over, gripping the ends of her dress, like she was about to step into a stream or prevent them from being frayed by the rough ground. Pure serenity filled her face. No worry wrinkled her brow, and no pain shone in her eyes. Her lips were relaxed and sealed in the faintest hint of a smile. The flower bushes growing around her pedestal had small pink buds poking out against the dark green leaves and branches.

We followed the path winding through the garden. On either side, bushes upon bushes of different flowers were starting to bud and release their sweet scents into the world. I walked with Marren at a casual stroll. The sounds of birds singing songs of joy filled the woods surrounding the garden. The sun sprinkled warmth on my face. A soft sigh escaped me.

“Do you believe me?” Marren asked.

“Believe what?”

He chuckled. “What I said in your room.”

“Yes. At least, I think so. Then again, I don’t know.” I let out a deep breath then added, “For the most part.”

“What don’t you believe?”

“That you don’t believe women swoon over you. You’re blind. They practically throw themselves at your feet.”

“Or, perhaps my gaze is otherwise preoccupied…”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing, and not every woman throws herself at my feet. You don’t.”

“Now that isn’t going to work with me.” I stopped walking then grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop and set his gaze on me. “You can’t be cryptic with ‘nothing’ after saying something about being preoccupied. Besides, I have reasons for not swooning over you.”

“How would you feel if your appearance was what condemned you?” he asked.

I let my hand fall to my side. I understood what he talked about, and I fought hard to forget.

“I already know how that is…for different reasons,” I whispered, blinking away tears, and continued on the path.

“Is that why you try to keep yourself so guarded? What happened to you, Relena?” His words were soft and filled with concern.

“A lot of things someone in your position would never understand.”

“Please, tell me?” He held out his hand toward a bench off to the side of the path, nestled in between bushes of bright yellow buds.

I took a seat.

“You don’t answer half of my questions, why should I answer yours?” I tried to put as much effort into those words as I could, but fell short of any conviction.

“I will answer your questions, in time. For now, I’m curious about what keeps you guarded.”

I thought about asking him another question but nipped the idea. We just discussed him not answering any of mine, and I began to have difficulty remembering all my questions. So, I explained while staring at a blue rock on the ground.

“The first time I took an interest in a boy I was shocked with how moving the whole thing was. I kept my thoughts to myself because I heard the whispers of the townsfolk, the horrible and painful things they said about me, because my mother had run away with another man and disappeared—which Tarn blamed me for. Somehow, our inn had become known as a whorehouse. People assumed my father was selling me. So, it surprised me when that boy approached me and started talking to me like we’d been friends for our entire lives. No hint of hate or judgment. He was nice to me.

“After several weeks, he asked me to meet him somewhere right after dark. Tarn wouldn’t miss me. In fact, he would be relieved of my absence.” I wrapped my arms around my chest and clenched my fists to keep the growing ache inside me from overwhelming me.

“The night I went to meet him, he was deep in the forest. I was scared because of the stories what happens there. The sacrifices rumored to have been made, the souls said to haunt them. Something wasn’t right. Still, I continued, finding him purely by the glow of the campfire. I found out quick he wasn’t alone. Fear almost made me turn back. Then someone stepped out from behind a tree and cupped his hand around my mouth to keep me from screaming. I tried to struggle, but he overpowered me, dragging me along.

“When we made it to the fire, the boy I had taken an interest in reprimanded the other for treating me in such a rude manner. I had started to relax until he pulled on a red ceremonial cloak. Others wearing the same emerged from the woods, standing around us in a circle. Their faces shielded by their hoods.”

I wiped a tear from my face with a shaking hand. Marren shifted next to me. His posture had stiffened, and when I glanced over, his hands were clenched so tight his knuckles were white. I thought maybe he didn’t believe my story or, for some reason, he was extremely agitated by it. I had already said too much to stop.

“The rest of the night is a blur.”
A painful, perfectly clear blur.
“Danst was hunting nearby when he heard my screams over their chanting. Somehow, he was able to break them up and save me. From that moment on, I was shunned in public, and the whispers worsened.”

Marren said, “Danst taught you how to fight after that.”

“Yes,” I said.

“I’m so very sorry for what you went through.” He shifted, tucking his foot under his knee, and faced me. “I feel horrible about what happened to you. If he were me, I would’ve killed those boys.”

I couldn’t help but smile in response to his reaction. “Then you wouldn’t be here and able to rescue me from the Cyrs. Would you?”

“Perhaps,” he said, sounding lost in thought. “What I think may not be important to you, but you are far from ugly.”

I laughed, nervous. “You need to work on giving compliments.”

“As you need to work on accepting them,” he said, light in his retort.

I shifted in my seat to face him, caught in his eyes for a moment. I saw more each time I gazed into them. This time there was sincerity, nothing held back. “Thank you for your compliment, and everything you’ve done for me. Even though I still don’t understand why.”

I breathed the words with little effort. They flowed out of me like a whisper on the wind.

“You’re welcome.” His stare grew in intensity, making the air around us heavier. Or was it lighter?

I forced myself to shift my gaze to the garden and a few butterflies dancing along the tops of the bushes. The sun began descending, making the shadows stretch out before us. Had that much time passed already?

“Now you know why I’m so guarded. It’s your turn,” I said.

“You’re right, your reasons were different. The hurt is the same nonetheless. Everything comes down to trouble finding me and a reputation following me wherever I go.”

“Maybe I can help explain?”

“You may…” The edge of his mouth curved up a little.

“People either want to be you or be with you. When you don’t give them what they want, they become enraged and retaliate against you. The rumors start, and before you know it, you’re labeled a dissident seducer.”

He nodded. “The logic makes sense, but I still don’t believe it applies.”

The span of a few moments in silence passed before he asked, “Are you hungry?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

I followed Marren into the dining hall. The large table taking up the center with chairs surrounding it seemed too formal for a dinner for two. The fact didn’t stop Marren from pulling out a chair at the corner for me. Flattered by his gesture, I took it, and he took the chair at the head. Immediately, a servant with the same dark skin, hair, and eyes walked in and set a few plates of a roasted meat, string beans, and a slice of bread on the table along with a thick cloth and silverware. Another brought in two silver goblets and filled them with red wine.

“So tell me,” he said, digging into his plate. “How old were you when your mother left?”

A bit of a heavy topic over dinner…

“It’s been about ten years, so I was ten.” I stuck my fork into a bean and placed it in my mouth.

He nodded. “I understand why you keep yourself guarded. I suppose circumstances would be the same with me if it were in the reverse.”

I peered at him, wondering why we were still talking about this topic, and came to realize he appeared the same as he always did. For the entire time I’d known him, he hadn’t aged. “Can I ask you something?”