Secret Worlds (393 page)

Am I in the shower?
I jerk awake and open my eyes. Alek looks down at me, holding an empty glass. Cold water trickles off my face and soaks my hair.

“What the hell?” I yell at him, sitting up.

“I said don’t go to sleep!”

I want to push him, throw something at him, scream, but surprise prevents me. I blink at him. Never mind he threw water at me, he’s luminescent. “Are you
glowing
?”

“Am I?” He says it as if he doesn’t realise or thinks I shouldn’t notice.

“Yeah. I’m dreaming again, aren’t I?”

“Where did you go?”

“When?”

“When you slept just then.”

“Nowhere, I was in the house.”

He tenses. “This house? Where?”

I wipe water from my face and smooth back my damp hair. “Just upstairs. I was going to bed. In my dream. Which is where I’m going now. In what I hope is a bad dream.”

I get to my feet and wobble slightly, grabbing the sofa arm for stability.

“Rose, if you sleep, you won’t wake up.” Alek says the words quietly, like a doctor trying to soothe a patient.

“Don’t be stupid.” But his words trigger goosebumps across my skin.

Alek faces me and I shiver; from the water cooling my neck and shoulders, and from his proximity. His expression holds a frightening intensity, darkened eyes filled with concern and something unknown. An unexpected desire for his touch shudders through, the arousal edging out the fear.

“I’m going to kiss you,” he says.

“I don’t think so!” But the image flies into my mind, igniting heat into my weak body. A body telling me what a great idea it would be to feel those full lips I’ve stared at more than I should pressed against mine.

Alek rakes a hand through his hair. “But I don’t want to.”

“Wow, thanks. I’ll give it a miss then.” Heat of embarrassment replaces the desire, and I turn away.

“But I should. I’m not going to force myself on you, but I’m trying to help you.”

“Help me what? Understand how unbelievably arrogant you are because you think I want to kiss you?” I snap, spinning back to him.

“No, to help you stay here.” There’s an earnestness at odds with the usual Alek.

“Honestly, when I wake up tomorrow, I’m gone.”

“No!”

I jump in alarm at his vehemence, eyeing the front door. “Jeez, you’re weird.”

Alek rubs his nose and fixes his eyes on my mouth. He inhales and tenses, as if preparing to do something stupid and dangerous, like jump off a cliff. This strikes me as odd. I mean, a lot about tonight is beyond odd, but the Alek I’ve got to know doesn’t seem the type who would deliberate these things.

“Okay, I’m going to do this. If you want me to stop, just push me away.”

Before I can respond, Alek takes hold of my shoulders. His lips tentatively touch mine and static arcs across my face. The lightning-struck feeling spreads as he takes advantage of my parted-mouthed surprise and crushes his mouth to mine. I try to pull away, the intensity of the charge spreading into my body frightening me, but Alek has one hand in the small of my back and another at the nape of my neck, holding me steady. At every point our bodies are in contact, heat of a kind I’ve never experienced flows; with each passing second, the stronger the urge to have Alek hold and kiss me like this until I can’t breathe overpowers. I close my eyes; in my mind’s eye, white light blinds my thoughts, tripping the switch on a desire so strong I fight against pulling my clothes off, and then starting on his.

I grab Alek’s head in return, digging my hands into his scalp, and delve my tongue into his mouth. I want this. Him. Touching, kissing, tasting, everything. All I can focus on is the powerful energy flowing from his lips to mine, drawing away the exhaustion and filling me with vigour. Alek loosens his grip on my head then disentangles my fingers from his hair.

I stagger backward as he moves away and rest against the wall. “What the
hell
was that?”

“Do you feel better now?”

I do, but Alek is pale. Not only has he lost his luminescence, but his skin and eyes are dull. My body feels as if somebody injected me with a drug like the ones used for pain when I was in hospital, the world a brighter place in my eyes and in my mind. “What did you do?”

“I’m just doing what I do. But in reverse.”

His words make no sense, but the energy flooding every cell in my body can’t be a dream. The intense arousal for him, the one that turns my brain off and my physical lust on, can’t be imagined. I’ve gone from not wanting him to kiss me to asking him to take me upstairs and into his bed. In fact, if he gives me the slightest hint he wants to screw me I won’t say no. The thought horrifies me; I don’t do this kind of thing. The sex I have is in loving relationships with normal guys.

“What do you mean?” I whisper, battling against the desire.

“Sit down again.” He slumps onto the sofa as if he swapped my exhaustion for his.

Alek shares the physical reaction with me; I can tell from the intensity of his gaze and shallowness of his breathing. His arousal was evident when he gripped me close, the effect I have on him clear. He can’t go back to keeping his distance now. Heart hammering in my ears, I do as Alek asks and approach him. I would say warily, but all I want to do is climb on top of him and kiss him until he does what I want. My body and mind are more alive than ever before in my life, even before the accident.

Alek takes a moment to regain control of his breathing, and then turns to me. “Will you promise me you won’t freak out and run out of the house? I don’t know who’s out there tonight.”

A memory of the girl dragging my life from my chest leads me to nod in agreement.

“Before you came here, in the summer, you had an accident, didn’t you?” I never told him this. “At the time of the accident, did you see something when you were unconscious?”

I swallow down the lump forming in my throat. “I had a car accident. I nearly died. I think I had some kind of out-of-body experience.”

Alek’s guarded again and tucks his hands under his legs. “When you came back, did you feel the same afterwards?”

“You mean apart from the grief of losing my best friend, the two-month coma and the dizzy spells, which stop me living my life properly?” I say tersely, as the frustration from the accident pours from me. I don’t talk about this.

Alek’s eyebrows dip and his mouth thins, as if sharing my emotions. “Do you have dreams about the accident? Or feel presences?”

The panicked breathing I get when I wake from the dreams starts; I fight to control it, knowing the light-headedness will follow. “Dreams.”

“Not just dreams. You could see Clarissa.”

“And?”

“She’s a ghost, Rose.”

Now I understand why he asked me not to get up and run screaming from the house because, at this moment, I want to. “A ghost?”

“Yeah. Well, she’s a Shade. They’re different to ‘usual’ ghosts. Shades are similar to ghosts because they’re remnants of human lives that refuse to leave once they die. But Shades carry more energy than ghosts, enough to allow them to temporarily enter the human world again with a physical form. This is where hauntings and poltergeists come from. Also, unlike normal ghosts, Shades aren’t tied to one place and can move around the world, until their energy is used up. Like the girl who attacked you outside the pub. But once they use up all their energy, they fade away like normal ghosts.”

Well, next obvious question. “Are you a Shade?”

Alek rubs his pale lips together. “No. I’m like you.”

“And what’s that?”

The click of the gas fire is the only sound in the room as Alek stares at his boots. He rubs his forehead as if trying to decide what to say, and then looks directly at me. “I’m Between.”

“Between what?” Tonight, I’ve had enough and processing anything else is impossible.

Without pausing, he pushes on, words tumbling out. “You died and you came back to life. You shouldn’t have. Someone fucked up.”

I choke. “Well, I’m glad they did!”

He ignores me. “But even though you’re not dead, you’re not the same as other people now. Like me, you’re stuck between this world and the next.”

“Are you saying I’m a ghost? I can’t be; people can see me. I’ve had loads of medical treatment, I’m alive and I’m a person!”

“You’re not a ghost because you have the ability to exist in this world, but you’re not fully human anymore.”

I rub my eyes. My brain won’t process his words; I’m still stuck on Clarissa being a ghost. “And you?”

“Yeah. Same.”

Pulling myself from the chair, away from the desire to put my lips on his again, I step back and cross my arms over my chest.
He’s telling me I’m ‘not fully human’ and I’m thinking about kissing him?

“Why are Shades attacking me?”

“If Shades get the right kind of energy, they can stay in the world longer, but not forever like we can. We still have our physical bodies because we never died…properly.” He’s serious. Alek is bloody serious. “Our energy. That’s why the girl attacked you; she wants your energy so she can stay in this world.”

“And your energy?”

Alek shifts. “Yeah.”

If I wasn’t so desperate to stay close to him and have him touch me again, I’d leave. Or go to bed. God, I want to be in his bed. I shake away the images my mind eagerly conjures which are distracting me from his crazy story. “This is too much for me to take in. Are you saying Shades want to feed on my energy?”

“Yes. And we can feed on theirs. They can be a food source for us.”

“A food source?” I practically shriek the words. “What the hell?”

“You need a different kind of energy to survive now, Rose, not just food. One place it can come from is Shades, and this house is a focal point where a lot try to come through from the Void.”

Void?
I hold up a hand. “Alek. Stop. I don’t know what drugs you’re on, but this is crazy.” The mood swings, the weird behaviour…“Do you have a medical condition? Do you need me to find Lizzie to help you?”

“What? Why?”

“I had a friend in high school; he was schizophrenic, and...”

Alek laughs at me. Actually bloody laughs, and I feel like hitting him. “No, I’m not. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not insane.”

I decide not to push this. Despite his protests, he’s evidently unstable and if he continues with his delusions, who knows what he might do next. Tomorrow I’ll speak to Lizzie.

When Alek stands and approaches me, I regret the fact I chose to stand against the wall. “I understand how confusing this must be, but think about everything that’s happened tonight.”

I hardly hear the words because he touches my face and his cool fingertips become searing hot, as if burning my skin and the same arc of desire crosses me. Alek’s eyes darken and he slides his hand up my arm to pull me closer.

“I gave some of my energy to you, to help you survive, energy I took from the Shades.” The hoarseness in his low tone does nothing to quell my swing back into a longing for him now that he’s close again. “You don’t want to go where they come from, and you were heading there after the Shade outside the pub took your energy.”

“Please stop talking now.” My breathing difficulties are out of control and the last thing I want to do is collapse.

Alek rubs his thumb against my lip, jolting the strange energized desire for him back to life. “The kiss was…interesting.” He withdraws his thumb and stares at my mouth. “But not such a good idea between us.”

Again, another unanswered question. The heaviness in my limbs and numbing of my brain interferes with asking him why. I dip my head, away from his hand. I need to get away from.

“And I can safely go to sleep now?” I ask, feigning nonchalance.

Alek licks his lips and steps back. “Yes. And tomorrow I’ll tell you about Finn.”

“Finn? Is he a Shade or like us?”

“Neither.”

“Of course,” I mutter. “I’m going to bed.” Far away from Alek before the other part of my brain decides I should do something I might regret, but would undoubtedly enjoy. A lot.

“Yeah. And sorry.”

“For?”

“Tipping water on your head.” He grins, the old Alek sliding back in.

This is my cue to edge our conversation away from his crazy talk and leave. “Right. Asshole. I’m going to bed.”

Heart thumping in my ears, I head toward the stairs. I’m half-relieved and half-disappointed when he doesn’t follow me.

“Night, Casper!” he calls, a teasing tone to his voice.

When I sleep, there’s no fog and no nightmares, only dreams of Alek and intense sex.

I wake the next morning to my phone ringing and check the number.

Finn.

There are texts, too, starting from half an hour after I left him at the pub. Until I’ve figured out what’s going on, I don’t have the energy to attempt to explain anything to Finn

My head pounds, a constricted feeling like dehydration. I shrug on my robe and pad downstairs, still woozy and half-expecting to have dreamt everything.

Lizzie is in the kitchen, eating cornflakes. She’s dressed like me, PJs and robe.
Should I ask her about Alek and tell her my suspicions about his mental state?

She eyes me over her bowl. “Wow, you look like crap.”

I make a humph noise. “Thanks.”

“Late night?”

“Kind of.” I fill a glass with water.

“Same, I didn’t get in until three.”

“Late shift?”

“Something like that.”

“About Alek…” I begin but don’t get to finish my question.

A door bangs upstairs, and then footsteps rapidly descend the stairs. My stomach fills with butterflies and for good reason; Alek appears in the doorway. His brown eyes meet mine and the desire to touch him re-enters. He runs his tongue along his bottom lip then looks away.

“Lizzie, are we going out today?”

She slurps some milk from her spoon. “Out?”

“I promised you a trip to the movies.”

He’s ignoring me. Completely bloody ignoring me. I clear my throat, but he doesn’t respond.

“Um. Yeah, okay. You feeling all right?” asks Lizzie.

Now, that’s an interesting question. I watch them both for hints of their true relationship. Interestingly, they regard each other silently, and Lizzie’s brow knits. She takes a brief look at me, and then back to Alek.