Secret Worlds (389 page)

As I reach the lounge, Lizzie appears through the front door. Her plucked eyebrows dart up. “You okay? You look pretty pissed off.”

“Ask your
friend.
”

Lizzie’s face pales and she looks behind me sharply. I’m aware of Alek in the room. “What’s going on? What did you do to her?”

Now, I’m more confused. If Lizzie is worried Alek is going to hurt me, what the hell am I doing living here?

“Nothing! We just had a…misunderstanding.”

I step to one side so I can see both of them and attempt to gauge what the hell is going on. “I brought a friend home, and Alek made him leave.”

“What friend?”

“A guy,” says Alek in the same low voice. “Blonde guy, blue eyes. He’s from the hospital.”

Lizzie rubs her nose. “Well, isn’t it up to Rose who she brings home?”

“Exactly! Tell him what a dick he’s being!”

“Are you going after him?” Lizzie asks me.

“I think maybe I should and ask him to come back and eat his meal!”

When Alek slams a hand against the wall, I tense, waiting for his next move. “Fuck this, I’m late for work.”

I catch his familiar scent of leather and spice as he pushes past me. Alek’s jacket brushes me, and even with no skin-to-skin contact, a shock trips along my arm.

Shaking my head, I change my mind about following Finn and turn back to the kitchen. Lizzie follows me in.

“Sorry about him.”

“Is he some kind of psycho? Won’t let other guys onto his territory?”

She laughs. “No. He’s just…funny about some people.”

A thought catches me. “He won’t go after Finn, will he?”

“No, not his style.”

I decide not to ask what his style is. “Do you want a glass of wine?”

“Sure.” Lizzie sits in a chair and I look at the wilting, cooling stir-fry in the pan as I pour her a glass. My stomach growls. “Do you want some of the food. There’s plenty since Finn was chased out by Alek.”

Lizzie’s unruly curls are pulled behind a thick headscarf, and she’s changed the colour to a henna red.

“Sorry if he freaked you out.” Lizzie twists the wine glass in her hands.

I decide bluntness is the way to go. “Is he dangerous?”

“No!” The vehemence with which she says the word suggests the opposite to me, but I nod stupidly. “He doesn’t have a lot of friends and has a bit of a thing about people coming here. He’s had a tough time in life and gets a bit possessive of his personal space.”

“But he seemed to
really
not like Finn.”

“Finn? Is that his name?”

“Yeah.”

“Boyfriend?”

I scoff. “No, a friend. I just got here; boyfriends aren’t on my radar.”

As Lizzie nods and sips her wine, it strikes me I hardly know anything about the people I live with and now one has shown himself to have alpha-male tendencies.

I’m planning on looking for a new place to live, but this place was hard enough to find.

The next day, I head up to ICU to apologise. Seriously, Finn is my only friend and my dickhead housemate tried to scare him away. Chloe is working, so at least I can chat with her; and if Finn ignores me because of last night, I won’t seem like the desperate girl chasing him.

I walk past an open doorway, and against my better judgement, I peek inside. A plethora of machines and wires cover the white-linened bed, and I can barely see the occupant. The noise one of the machines makes bangs into my memories. I swallow down the lump in my throat, pushing away the grey fog that follows me each time I visit ICU.
Why do I torture myself?

I recognise the nurse in the room. Finn sits on the edge of the bed, his broad back facing away from me. I can’t see exactly what he’s doing; he could be checking vitals but he’s closer than nurses usually are to the patient, which strikes me as odd.

Chloe nudges me in the ribs, and I jump. “So, you and him?”

“Me and who?”

“Finn. He arrived after his break yesterday with carrier bags full of groceries and wine. We finally got out of him who the lucky girl was…so, how’d it go?”

My face flares and I fumble with the hem of my shirt.
Why did Finn tell them about a semi-date?
No, not date.

“You didn’t waste much time! He’s only been here five minutes.”

I back away from the doorway, in case he hears. “No. God, no. We’re friends.”

Chloe smirks at me. “Oh, really? I’ve never seen him even talk to anyone else, and here you are, with no need to come up here today. I think you guys want to be more than friends.”

My hot face must be bright pink by now, and the reaction surprises me. I think I need to reconsider my feelings about Finn; my subconscious is telling me something.

Reaching out, Chloe rests her soft hand on mine. “This would be good for both of you. I think you’re both a bit shy. Lost even?”

I smooth the hair escaping from my ponytail. “I’m not looking for anyone.”

Finn comes out of the room and stops. His expression shifts from surprise to neutral, but not quick enough for me to miss. I want to apologise for last night, but the conversation would be awkward in front of Chloe.

“Can I talk to you?” I ask him.

Finn glances at Chloe. “That okay?”

Chloe nods. “Yeah, you’re due a break. Did you finish checking on Mrs Taylor?”

“All done and duly-noted.” He flashes her a smile, the kind of smile guys use when they want something. “You okay to stay and talk?” he asks me.

I nod, and he walks away. Chloe makes a soft sound in her throat, and I look quizzically at her.

“Finn. Can’t figure him out. Sometimes he’s quiet as a mouse; other times, I could swear he’s looking down his nose at me. I can’t decide if it’s arrogance or he’s an introvert.”

“You should meet the guy I live with…”

Chloe’s mouth falls open. “You
live
with a guy now!”

“Not in that way! Jeez! I share with him and someone.”

“Oh, okay. Is he hot, too?”

Alek. Hot. Undeniably. “Yeah, but he’s a bit of a dickhead.”

“Most hot guys are. In my experience.” She tips her head to Finn. “Well, you can’t have them both, so let me know which is spare and I’ll try my luck.”

Her pretty face breaks into a smile, and she smoothes her hair and pouts. I push her and we giggle. Finn pauses and turns back.

“You coming?”

Chloe leans in and whispers in my ear. “See…He wants you.”

“Stop it!” I push her and she stumbles, eyes shining.

Catching up with Finn, my mood drops at the look on his face. Totally unimpressed. If I didn’t feel the need to apologise, I’d go back to Chloe.

“Sorry about last night,” I say.

“Not your fault your housemate is an idiot.” But he is pissed off about what happened, I can tell from his sour face.

We walk toward the room where the nurses take their breaks. “Do you know him or something?”

“Your housemate? No, I just know people like him. They think the world owes them everything and treat others like crap.” He pauses and I look into a genuinely concerned face. “Does he treat you badly?”

We step into a small room, a bench with a kettle and spilt coffee rest near a fridge. Nearby stands a couple of dilapidated armchairs. Finn clicks on the kettle and pulls out a mug. Just one.

“I don’t let people treat me badly. Ever.”

Finn nods. “Well, if you ever need my help, just let me know.”

“Oh, my God, are you serious?”

“What?”

“You. Offering to look after me like I need protecting.”

His eyes fill with surprise and a muscle twitches in his cheek. He looks like he wants to say more but shakes his head. “You did pass out the other day. I worry about you.”

This guy who’s known me all of two weeks is digging under my skin. Alek’s comments played on my mind last night—about how I don’t know anyone. Maybe I am becoming too attached to one person. “You hardly know me.”

The kettle boils and Finn turns back to pour water. I hug my arms around myself trying to figure out what’s going on.

“Will you tell me what happened to you?” he asks.

“What?”

“When you fainted, you said something before you came round, ‘Help Jamie, too’.”

My blood drops into my toes and I heave in a breath.

“I have to sit down.” I stumble to one of the chairs, looking out the window across the hospital grounds where the day is bright and fog doesn’t exist. Tensing my muscles, I fight the urge to pass out against the grey in my mind. I told him I wasn’t weak and feeble, but look at what I am now. Tears push behind my eyes; more weakness. This was never me; now my body and mind won’t let me be who I was.

Finn leans against the bench, mug in hand. “Who’s Jamie?”

I stare up at him. “Most people would say sorry and change the subject.”

“Sorry. Who’s Jamie?”

“Halfway there,” I mutter.

Finn moves to the chair next to me. “Maybe you need to talk about some stuff. If you’ve got memories trapped inside they could be what’s making you faint.”

“Right.”

The dizziness increases the more he talks about this, so I lean forward and study my shoes, ignoring him.

“I’m here to help you,” he says quietly.

I snap my head up at his words, frowning at him. “What the hell does that mean?”

He moves his hand as if he’s about to put it on mine, and then balls his fingers and places them on his knee. “I meant, I want to help you.”

Finn’s pager beeps and he instantly pulls it from his pocket. He bites down on his lip and glances toward the door. I don’t know if I should be thankful this interrupts our weird and intense conversation or whether to be freaked out by what it means. Something’s wrong on the ward.

Finn gently places the cup on the low table in front of us. “I won’t be long.” He leaves the room.

I rub my cheek, amazed by the calm of his demeanour when I can hear others rushing down the corridor. I place my hands over my ears and close my eyes, trying to block out all my senses. This is not good. I should leave, but I can’t. I’m pulled in by the car crash mentality; the need to see what’s happening that everyone secretly has in these situations.

Standing in the doorway, I watch as two nurses talk in urgent voices then run toward a patient’s room. The horror of what is happening is overtaken by the curiosity. The corridor is quiet now and the nurses’ station vacant, so I head in the direction they went, toward the room with the lowest voices. I close my eyes, take a breath and peer around the corner. Two nurses administer care to the patient, one injecting something into an IV. I swallow, remembering the needles in my arm. They murmur to each other in hurried tones.

Finn was in this room earlier.

“Rose!” I tense. Caught in the act. Finn stands behind me, holding a dish with vials, ready to take into the room.

I stumble away from the door. “Sorry, I…”

“You shouldn’t be here,” he says in a low voice. “It’s wrong.” Finn’s blue eyes register shock, looking from me to the door. “Intrusive, I mean. You’re not family or a nurse.”

The urgent voices and beeping machines in the room connect with memories of the night in the road. The fog from my past creeps into the edges of the world and I can’t move. Finn takes my elbow and guides me away from the door.

The sensation of his touch shocks me, as if he’s plunged my arm into a bath of iced water. The intense cold burns my flesh and the ice shoots through my limbs until my hands and feet numb.

Finn pulls his hand back as if I burnt him; he blinks away the shock in his eyes. I stare back, unable to speak as the cold creeps up my neck into my mind.

“Please, leave now,” he says in a flat voice.

As Finn walks into the room where the patient fights for life, I back against the wall and close my eyes. Rubbing my cold arm does no good; the skin is warm to touch but the blood circulating inside takes the chill toward my heart. I suck in a breath and lean over. The fog has gone but this is even worse.

***

The trip home is hazy; the pain radiating from my arm doesn’t subside. When I stagger through the door, I don’t have any energy left to climb the stairs to my room. I crawl onto the sofa in the lounge and stare at the moulded cornice around the light above where the flaking paint shows several colours underneath. The sound of Alek’s music thumps through the silence and I drift off, head pounding.

I’m dozing but something alerts me. Half-asleep, I’m aware of someone else in the room with me. I open an eye and see the red-haired girl hovering in the doorway, watching me. She’s wearing dirty jeans and a T-shirt with capped sleeves and a Guns ‘n Roses print, but nothing on her feet. Alek’s music continues to thump through the ceiling.

“Hi,” I say and smile.

Her eyes widen and she pulls her long hair over her shoulder. “Who
are
you?”

“Rose; I moved in a few of weeks ago. Are you a friend of Alek’s?”

Her look darts in the direction of the stairs. “Kind of. I’m staying with him as long as I can.”

“Oh?”
What was that twinge? Jealousy? Over someone like Alek?
I slap myself in my mind.

“Yeah. I was just going upstairs.” She turns and disappears.

I close my eyes again and Alek’s music stops, his footsteps banging down the stairs. Snuggling down into the sofa cushions, I pretend to be asleep. My heart thumps in my ears as the footsteps quiet. I wait for him to sweep out of the house, but he’s stopped. After a couple of minutes of silence, I open my eyes. Alek stands in the spot where the red-haired girl was. There’s a softness in his expression which disappears the moment he realises I’m looking at him.

“You got health problems, Casper?”

I push myself up. “No, and don’t call me that.”

His sly smile indicates I just guaranteed he will call me this from now on. “You don’t seem to have a lot of energy.”

“It’s tiring walking up and down that hill to work.” His face indicates his disbelief. “Who’s the girl?”

“Which girl?”

“The red-haired girl.”

He blinks. “Was she here again?”

“Yeah, she said she was staying with you. Didn’t you see her on the stairs?”

Alek rubs his lips with a finger then approaches me without answering my question. I inhale as he sits next to me, on the other end of the sofa and twists his body toward me.