Secrets (15 page)

Chapter Thirty-Eight

From the low vantage point of his armchair, Garth stared up at his brother.

‘Tell me what?’ he asked. His stomach registered a feeling of mounting dread.

Adrian moved closer to Emma. He wound his free arm around her shoulder and pulled her towards him. Emma rested her head on Adrian’s shoulder. Garth couldn’t comprehend what his eyes were witnessing. ‘Tell me what?’ he repeated.

‘Emma and I are having an affair.’

Garth stared at his brother. He couldn’t accept the information his ears were hearing. He shook his head slowly from side to side, struggling to comprehend. ‘But…but the two of you can’t stand each other!’

‘We didn’t mean it to happen,’ Adrian ploughed on. ‘It actually started last year, but after a few weeks we called it a day. Then Emma discovered she was pregnant, but we decided to remain apart. We didn’t resume any…relationship. For a while that worked. But then Anna was born and…well…six months down the line it’s not working at all. I still have deep feelings for Emma, and I’m besotted with Anna.’

At the mention of his baby’s name, Garth’s eyes widened with horror. Cogs were starting to slowly turn in his brain. In the last two minutes his life had changed into a living nightmare. A part of his mind detached and flew upward, possibly as a coping mechanism. From somewhere up by the ceiling’s fussy candelabra, a bit of Garth looked down on the preposterous scenario unravelling in his front room. It was one thing hearing his beloved brother talking about betrayal, but it was quite another having Adrian mention Anna’s name. Anna was nothing to do with Adrian. Garth tried to speak, but it was as if somebody had sucked all the moisture from his mouth. ‘You…you leave my daughter out of this,’ he croaked.

Adrian didn’t miss a beat. ‘She’s mine, mate. And I can’t stand you thinking otherwise for a moment longer. I’ve done a DNA test to prove it. I’ve been watching her growing so swiftly…interacting with you rather than me – her real father. But from now on I’m going to be a proper full-time parent to Anna.’

Garth shook his head again. It felt so heavy. As if somebody had poured quick-set concrete into his brain. ‘That…that can’t be right.’ He wanted to get up and shove Adrian to the floor…to grab a cushion off the sofa and squash it into his wicked mouth…anything to shut him up. But Garth couldn’t move. It was as if he’d been zapped by a stun gun. The detached part of him bobbing about by the candelabra recognised he was in shock.

Adrian shrugged helplessly. ‘A couple of months ago my employers offered me a relocation job in Canada. I accepted. Emma and Anna are coming with me. We’re making a fresh start, and we’re ready to go. The suitcases are in my car. We could’ve legged it while you were with Mum and Dad, but that would’ve been running away. And cowardly. So out of decency, we waited for you to come home and tell you face to face.’

Garth gaped at Adrian. ‘
Decency
?’ The word came out as little more than a hiss. He turned to Emma. ‘Why?
Why
didn’t you tell me from the word go?’

Emma spread her hands. A gesture of helplessness. ‘Adrian wasn’t ready to commit. I didn’t know, back then, if he ever would. I was pregnant. Scared. And I wanted my baby to have a father. I knew you would be honourable.’

‘And I was,’ Garth whispered.

‘I know.’ Emma’s eyes welled. A lone tear ran down one cheek. ‘I’m just so sorry that I wasn’t.’

‘For what it’s worth, mate,’ Adrian regarded his brother solemnly, ‘I’m sorry too.’

For a moment nobody spoke. The three adults whose lives had each, in their own way, impacted upon one another, remained silent. The moment was broken by Anna who began to squawk. The noise acted like a propeller, moving Adrian and Emma away from Garth, out of the front room, and into the hallway. Garth attempted to stop them. He tried to push himself upright, but his body refused to work. From his armchair, he watched helplessly as Adrian ushered Emma out of the front door with Anna’s carry seat dangling from one arm. His brother paused briefly, and turned back to face Garth.

‘You’ll probably tell me to go to Hell, but I hope one day we can be friends again. Tell Mum and Dad I’ll be in touch.’

Garth remained sitting as if turned to stone. The front door closed. Moments later came the sound of a car engine turning over. Seconds later they’d gone. Garth continued to sit in the silence, his thoughts all over the place.
Adrian hoped one day they’d be friends again?
Outside the light faded.
They’d stayed to speak to him out of decency?
Dusk settled.
Emma had wanted Garth to be Anna’s father simply because he was honourable?
Night fell. And still Garth sat there. His brain fired off in all directions as he struggled to absorb the shocking truth. Numbness shrouded him – possibly another coping mechanism. Periodically his body shook indicating the truth was registering. And Anna? What of her? His daughter? His darling, darling daughter who he loved so fiercely with every breath of his being? Except…except…wait. Anna wasn’t his daughter. She was his…
niece
.

And that was when the dam finally broke. Garth leant forward. He slid from the armchair. As he crumpled to the floor, he began to howl like an injured animal.

Chapter Thirty-
Nine

Garth spent the next six months functioning on auto-pilot. Perversely his writing was better than ever. He retreated into the world of fiction, playing God to his creation of characters. He decided who would hurt who, who would fall in love with whom, and how everybody would get their happy-ever-afters. When it came to romantic fiction there had to be an upbeat ending. He’d seen enough reviews on the likes of Amazon to know his female readers wanted a hero and heroine walking off into the sunset together. Garth just wished real life could be the same. He didn’t miss Emma at all, but was acutely aware of the gaping hole his brother had left behind. Garth loved his brother, but now he detested him too. It was a bizarre conflict of emotions. And as for Anna…Garth had to mentally squeeze his eyes shut every time the baby’s precious face filled his mind. It was as if somebody had amputated a limb without anaesthetic. His heart permanently ached for the absence of the child he’d believed to be his own.

Adrian’s betrayal and abrupt departure to Canada had devastated John and Marjory Davis. Six months later they looked years older. Adrian had contacted them a week after his arrival in Canada. By that point they’d heard the shocking news from Garth and were desperate for whatever crumbs of information their youngest son was prepared to give them.

‘
Why
?’ John Davis had demanded of Adrian during a FaceTime session. ‘You had women coming out of your ears. Why did you have to take Garth’s partner?’

‘I don’t know, Dad,’ Adrian had shrugged. ‘I suppose it was…just because I could. When we were growing up together, I always wanted what Garth had. Whether it was a football or, now, a girlfriend. Perhaps it’s the complexities of sibling rivalry. I know I’m a bastard. But it wasn’t just me. It takes two. Emma repeatedly threw herself at me.’

‘You could have said no!’ John had roared, pink blotches staining his wrinkled cheeks. ‘I want nothing more to do with you. You’re despicable, and no son of mine.’ He’d hurled the iPad to the floor. Fortunately it had landed on thick carpet. Marjory had rushed to pick the gadget up.

‘I understand you’re both angry,’ Adrian had addressed his weeping mother.

‘It’s not just…,’ Marjory had waved one hand in a sweeping gesture, ‘this whole
mess.
It’s also because you just took off, Adrian. Not even a good-bye. Don’t you care about your parents?’

‘Of course I do! But what would saying good-bye have achieved? You’d have been livid with me, furious with Emma, and Anna would have been upset by all the angry words. I felt it was better to disappear, and talk later. When you’d got your head around it.’

‘I will never,’ Marjory’s voice had quavered, ‘
get my head around it
in a million years. Of all the lovely women you’ve dated, why you had to chase after
that
one is beyond me. I always suspected Emma was bad news, Adrian. When we first met her, she never properly befriended us. We’ve always been Mr and Mrs Davis, kept at arm’s length. She couldn’t even sit through our anniversary celebration without causing a rumpus. Don’t tell me you’re in love with her, please, because I simply won’t believe it.’

And from five thousand miles away, Adrian had sighed. ‘She’s mother to my daughter.’

‘Our
granddaughter
.’ Marjory’s floury cheeks had trembled with emotion. ‘We’ve been denied seeing our treasured grandchild growing up.’

‘You can visit us,’ Adrian had pointed out. ‘And we’ll be making an annual trip to the UK. Emma’s parents want to see Anna too.’

‘It’s hardly the same, Adrian. Garth used to bring Anna over to us two or three times a week. He was a doting father.’

‘
I’m
a doting father.’

‘And how long will that last?’ Marjory had rounded on her youngest son furiously. ‘You won’t be faithful to that woman for five minutes, and you know it. You had a beautiful wife once, Adrian, who dumped you because of your adulterous behaviour. If you’d wanted children so badly, why didn’t you have them with Jemma?’

‘Anna was an accident, Mum. You know that.’ Privately Adrian acknowledged Anna was the glue with Emma. There had already been a hot and sweaty encounter with his new secretary, which Emma knew nothing of. ‘And tell Dad that I appreciate how he’s feeling right now. He’s angry. That’s fair enough. But I hope, in time, he will want to know me again. Emma and I aren’t proud of ourselves, but we couldn’t carry on living a lie. This is better for Anna. She needs to know who her real father is.’

And now, on the approach to Anna’s first birthday, Garth found himself distracted. For the last three days he’d written thousands of words, but ended up deleting most of them. His concentration kept fragmenting. Frustrated, he switched off the computer. From his study, he stared through the window to the garden beyond. The shrubs and trees were full of blossom and early buds. Like the emerging flowers in the garden, an idea had been quietly blooming in his mind. Now it could no longer be ignored. In the last couple of weeks, Garth had been looking at information about DNA testing. He’d read that if two brothers were the potential father of a baby but only one man elected to have a DNA test, the test would say
that
man was the father. But in fact that man might
not
be the father, because the
brother
hadn’t been tested too. From what Garth understood, further in-depth tests could be done to prove who truly Anna’s father was.

As Garth continued staring at flowers nodding in the afternoon breeze, he knew the only way to find peace was to pursue further DNA tests. After all, Emma had, for a while, slept with both him and Adrian. The bitch. Garth’s mouth set in a thin line. His mind was made up. In pursuit of the truth, he would go to Canada.

Feeling more positive than he had in a long time, he opened the top drawer of his desk. Reaching inside, he removed a cheque book and paper bag. Spreading the cheque book flat, he wrote out a sum of money addressed to Anna Davis. He then withdrew from the paper bag a birthday card. It was illustrated with dancing teddies holding balloons, inside one of which was the numeral 1. Ripping off the protective layer, he opened the card and began to write.
To darling Anna, with all my love from Daddy
.

Chapt
er Forty

Janey surveyed her reflection in the hotel room’s full-length mirror. Not bad. Not great, but not bad. In fact, she was being unkind to herself. Since leaving England and adjusting to the time difference, Janey was looking more rested. Her skin had turned a beautiful gold from the glorious Canadian sunshine, her hair was thick and shiny and her eyes had a light that hadn’t shone since opening her cottage door to Jake’s wife. She turned away from the mirror and picked up her handbag. The sight-seeing schedules of the last few days had been full-on. Clive, the Canada Companions’ rep, had deemed today ‘free’ for everybody to do their own thing. Earlier, Garth had asked Janey if she’d like to join him and visit St Joseph’s Oratory. It was a basilica where a priest known as Brother André was credited with the miracle healing of thousands of people.

‘You want healing?’ Janey had jokingly asked. Privately, she hadn’t been enthralled with the idea of queuing up for some sort of laying of hands. Not in this heat and humidity anyway.

Garth had surprised her with a seriousness she’d not seen before. ‘Unfortunately Brother André is no longer with us. But…I…well…let’s just say I’d like to see the place.’

Upon arrival, Janey had felt somewhat humbled. Everywhere she’d looked, pilgrims had been worshipping the very soil the basilica was built upon. They’d climbed the many steps to the vast building’s front door, taking care to move quietly around those in deep prayer. Inside, the walls had been lined with thousands of crutches and walking sticks. These had been thrown away by those who’d claimed to be healed. But Brother André had insisted he’d only been the channel for Saint Joseph to do the healing. Even after his death, pilgrims still came, queuing for the
reliquary
in the church museum which contained Brother André’s heart. Janey had felt repulsed, but Garth had been insistent about silently filing into the room.

‘I once lost a piece of my heart,’ he’d murmured. ‘I’m hoping visiting here might see it come back to me.’

Janey hadn’t understood what Garth had been talking about. Later, when they’d emerged back into the sunshine, she’d broached the subject.

‘You can only lose your heart in love,’ she’d said tentatively. ‘Earlier, were you making reference to your ex-girlfriend going off with that pilot?’

Garth had turned to look at Janey. His eyes had held a pain not seen before.

‘No. But it does have everything to do with love.’

‘Do you want to tell me about it?’

Garth had instantly dismissed the subject. ‘I’m just being a big girl’s blouse. Hey, we’re on holiday. What about we ditch the lovebirds this evening and go for dinner in Old Montreal instead?’

‘What, and miss out on Amanda and James feeding each other at the dinner table? Or Ruth and Rich nibbling each other’s ears between starters and mains?’

‘Yeah, I know. It’s a toughie. But I checked out some great reviews on a restaurant called
Paradise
.’

Janey had pretended to consider for a moment. ‘Okay, you’ve talked me into it.’

And now, as Janey dropped the key card into her handbag and slipped out of the hotel room towards the elevator, she felt a mixture of excitement and expectation for the evening ahead. These last few days in Montreal had been a personal revelation. Janey didn’t know if it was because she was thousands of miles from home, or whether it was because nobody here in Canada knew her history, but she’d been experiencing a growing sense of inner peace. And, it had to be said, since standing before Brother André’s heart, on a deeper level she felt more…whole. It was hard to define. As if an invisible switch had flicked inside her. There was a sensation of being lighter. Freer. Happier. As she stepped into the elevator, she knew deep down it wasn’t just the Canadian sunshine or Brother André responsible for this inner shift. It was Garth. She was starting to like him.
Really
like him. As the elevator gently bounced to a standstill on the ground floor, the doors opened to reveal Garth waiting for her in the foyer. Upon seeing her, his face lit up. He gave her a megawatt grin that had a strange flip-flop effect on her stomach. She smiled back and tried to curb the butterflies suddenly taking off in her stomach.
Oh for goodness sake, Janey. You’re behaving like a teenager. Get a grip. He’s just a nice guy. You’re going out to dinner together as friends. That’s all. Stop getting hyped up and relax.

Garth greeted her with a brief hug. ‘You’re looking very pensive. Something on your mind?’

You.
‘Not at all!’

‘Sure?’

Just you
. For a horrible moment, Janey thought she’d said the words out loud. ‘Just…looking forward to this evening.’

‘Me too. C’mon, Miss Richardson. I’m starving. Lead me to Paradise.’

Janey suddenly found herself thinking the particular Paradise she’d like to lead Garth to had nothing to do with a restaurant. Her face turned bright red. What
was
the matter with her? Suddenly Garth grabbed her hand.

‘Quick. There’s a taxi pulling up outside.’ As his fingers curled around hers and hauled her towards the exit doors, Janey felt as though she’d been plugged into Canada’s electricity board. A zillion sparks coursed through her body, and the air seemed to whoosh out of her. By the time they were seated in the taxi, she was pink and breathless. Garth looked at her in amusement.

‘Why are you panting?’

Janey closed her mouth. She hoped her tongue hadn’t been hanging out too.

‘Hot,’ she croaked.

‘Me too.’

Yes, I know.
‘Just need a drink.’

‘They apparently do amazing cocktails at this place. It might be a bit
Del Boy
with lots of parasols and jumbo-sized straws.’

‘Mm,’ Janey nodded. ‘I could definitely do with something big to suck on.’ She immediately cringed. That last sentence had sounded full of innuendo.
Calm down, and breathe.

Garth’s mouth twitched, but he didn’t say anything. As the taxi sped towards Old Montreal, Janey forced herself to lean back in her seat and feign a relaxed demeanour. This evening she was going to try and impress Garth with wit, intelligence and conversation. She would be both sparkly and playful. In other words, a little flirtatious. Janey stared out of the taxi window. Outside were buildings from a by-gone era, pavements full of people, and horse-drawn carriages containing smiling tourists. She realised there was a problem with her flirting plan. She wasn’t sure where to start.