Secrets (21 page)

Chapter Fifty-Three

While the Canada Companions were heading to Whistler, Garth had returned to Julian Green’s office. Their latest meeting was almost over.

‘I now have everything I need,’ said Julian. He stood up from his desk. Leaning across its expanse, he shook Garth’s hand. ‘The result will be in tomorrow. All that’s left for me to say is…well…good luck, buddy.’

‘Cheers,’ said Garth. His face was a mask. ‘I appreciate that.’

Julian clocked Garth’s tenseness. ‘Meanwhile, while you’re waiting, can I suggest you take some down time?’

Garth nodded. ‘Yeah. I’ll do that.’

In fact Garth had no intention of doing any such thing. Emma was picking him up shortly. Anna would be with her. Garth was filled with a huge sense of both anticipation and dread. After six long months without any contact, he was finally spending some time with the little girl he believed to be his precious daughter. He wondered how Anna would react to him. In England she’d been
Daddy’s girl
. And now, in just a few minutes time, he’d find out Anna’s response to him first-hand.

Outside Julian’s office, Garth took a moment to get his bearings. He headed towards Downtown. Emma had offered to pick Garth up mid-morning from the hotel. He’d declined. The thought of her intruding into a place that was, for wont of a better way of describing it, his emotional sanctuary, was not something Garth needed. Nor did he like the idea of Emma being potentially anywhere near Janey. He was well aware of his attraction to the lovely Canada Companion. He didn’t want any toxicity from Emma contaminating the promise of what he hoped would develop between him and Janey at a later date.

The sound of a horn snapped Garth out of his reverie. Glancing up he saw a red four by four idling by the kerb. From inside the vehicle, Emma waved. For a moment Garth couldn’t move. He stared at Emma as if she was an alien from outer space. The first thing he registered was how tired she looked. She was nothing like the radiant woman who’d left his house on the arm of his brother all those months ago. And then Garth’s eyes locked on the baby seat at the rear – more particularly the small child strapped within its constraints. His heart lurched. He had a sudden overwhelming urge to cry. The passenger window buzzed down.

‘Garth! Hurry up and get in before I get a ticket.’ Emma leant across the passenger seat to release the door handle. But Garth’s legs were already propelling him forward. His hand reached for the rear passenger door. He saw Emma’s mouth briefly purse as he ducked into the back of the vehicle to sit beside Anna. ‘Some things never change,’ she said lightly. ‘You always did greet Anna before me.’

Garth ignored Emma. For a moment he couldn’t speak. His eyes settled on the little girl. She was wearing a pink cotton dress, and her chubby hands were clutching a teddy he’d not seen before. Her feet were devoid of baby sandals or socks. She wiggled bare toes whilst gazing curiously at Garth. Anna’s previously downy hair had both grown and thickened out. Wild corkscrew curls pinged upwards and outwards. They framed her beautiful face which, Garth had to concede, was a female replica of Adrian’s.

‘Hello, darling girl,’ Garth croaked. Gently he took hold of one chubby hand. Small fingers curled around his. Anna continued to solemnly stare at him. Garth’s stomach constricted. She didn’t remember him. This precious baby that he’d nursed through colic and teething…taken to the park and swung over his head playing aeroplanes…she didn’t know who he was. Then quite suddenly Anna’s whole face split into a huge grin. She let out a shriek of excitement and her body joyfully responded. Sturdy little legs kicked out, drew back, then kicked out again. She let out another shriek of happiness. Garth found the air whooshing out of him. He’d been unaware that up until this moment he’d been holding his breath.

Emma leant across the handbrake again and pulled the passenger door shut. Straightening up, she glanced at Garth in the rear view mirror. ‘She remembers you.’

‘That makes me so…,’ Garth hesitated, trying to find the right word to express the rush of feelings threatening to overwhelm him. ‘Happy,’ he finally conceded. The word didn’t begin to do justice to his relief and delight.

‘Good,’ Emma said. ‘I thought the three of us could spend the day together. Get reacquainted.’ She signalled and quickly pulled out into a stream of traffic and blaring horns. ‘Sorry,’ Emma apologised. ‘This part of town is always murder at this time of day.’

‘That’s fine,’ Garth said. He settled back into his seat, still holding Anna’s hand. ‘I’ll go wherever you like.’

‘Excellent.’ Emma caught Garth’s eye in the rear-view mirror. This time she gave him a full-on smile. ‘It will be just like old times. You’ll see.’

Garth caught the hope in her voice. ‘I don’t want to mislead you in any way, Emma. Let’s just be clear about that. I’m very grateful to you for letting me have this day with Anna.’

Emma immediately noticed she’d been omitted in this little speech of gratitude. She mentally shrugged. She had the whole day to put Garth under her spell, and sitting next to him in the back was the most powerful magic wand she could ever hope to wield.
Work your wonderful spell on Garth for me, Anna. We need to get back to the way we were
.

Chapter Fi
fty-Four

Janey was not relishing the trip to Whistler. She felt peculiarly detached from everything and everybody. The Canada Companions had enjoyed a marvellous mountaintop barbecue, but Janey had barely registered the taste of prime rib at six-thousand feet. Afterwards, everybody had wandered around the village and posed by the Olympic rings on the plaza. Within seconds the snaps had been posted to various social media sites for family and friends to witness. Janey obliged Amanda and stood in the obligatory pout pose, and then cross-eyed with tongue poking out, seemingly without a care in the world. However, a part of her constantly wondered where Garth was, and what he was doing right now.

At about the time of Janey striking her poses with Amanda, Garth was riding a bicycle around Stanley Park. On the back of his bike, Anna was strapped into a child seat. She was happily jabbering away. Emma cycled alongside. Garth hadn’t really wanted to do the bike ride because he couldn’t see Anna properly. More than anything he just wanted to hold this child and never let her go. But Emma had persuaded him otherwise, insisting Garth see something of the place while he was here. She’d suggested combining sight-seeing with ‘catching up’, as she liked to call it.

‘It’s such a lovely country,’ Emma gushed as they cycled along a track. It was actually a seawall and looped six miles around the perimeter of Stanley Park. They’d already passed a fragrant rose garden and the Vancouver Rowing Club. Now they were peddling under giant trees, passing spectacular views of the North Shore Mountains and Lions Gate Bridge. Every now and again they happened across little beaches where families were picnicking. Garth couldn’t deny he was enjoying himself. Emma, watchful, could read Garth’s pleasure like an open book. ‘You seem very at home with Anna on the back of that bike.’ She fell behind for a moment so they could ride in single file past a hand-holding couple on roller-blades. Drawing alongside Garth again, she glanced across at him and grinned. ‘You look like any other daddy spending the day with his daughter.’

Garth didn’t miss a beat. He gave Emma a cursory glance. ‘Is she?’

Emma looked blank. ‘Is she what?’

‘Is she my daughter?’ The question hung harsh and heavy on the soft summer air. For a moment there was only the noise of bicycle chains whipping around and the sound of exerted breathing.

Emma stared ahead for a moment, fingers clenched on handlebars. Her knuckles were pinched and white. She seemed to be weighing up what to say. ‘You want the truth?’

‘Of course.’ Garth could feel his jaw tightening. ‘What else but the truth?’

‘Okay. The absolute truth is…,’ Emma continued to stare ahead, her expression now one of angst. ‘I don’t know. Anna might well be your daughter. Equally, she could be Adrian’s.’ Her voice cracked slightly. ‘If I had to put money on it, I’d say there was every chance Anna was
your
daughter.’

‘Even though Adrian has done a DNA test?’

They were cycling close to a group of tourists now. Conversation had to be momentarily put on hold. As they skirted around some Japanese folk photographing a seaplane skimming the water, Garth was aware that to anybody giving them a second glance, he and Emma looked like any other couple spending family time with their daughter.

‘Listen,’ said Emma. She caught Garth up as soon as they had the path to themselves again. ‘You know as well as I do that if you did a general DNA test, like Adrian did, the results would say
you
are the father.’

Emma wasn’t telling Garth anything he didn’t already know. ‘The upsetting thing is,’ Garth said, the sadness in his voice so evident, ‘right now I don’t know how to address Anna. I don’t know whether to say, “Hey, let Uncle Garth help you with Teddy,” or instead refer to myself as
Daddy
.’

‘Just do whatever feels right for you,’ Emma suggested. ‘But you know, Garth,’ her voice softened. ‘It could be
Daddy
so easily.’

‘What do you mean?’ Garth frowned. ‘I haven’t yet been given the latest DNA results.’

‘You know what I mean,’ said Emma quietly. ‘Forget about DNA tests.’ She looked at Garth frankly. ‘I could go back to England with you right now. There’s nothing to keep me here. Nothing at all.’

‘Excuse me?’ Garth gave a hollow laugh. ‘I thought my
bro
was keeping you here!’ A hostile tone had crept into his voice. ‘After all, he’s meant to be the man you love.’

Emma shook her head. ‘I was in awe of Adrian. That’s all. And goodness knows why. He was an infatuation. I can see that now. Plus the man is totally up himself.’ These last words were almost spat out. For the next minute or two neither spoke, each struggling with their own emotions and thoughts.

Garth was the first to break the silence. ‘Is he a good dad?’

Emma pulled a face. ‘He loves Anna.’

‘That’s not what I asked. I want to know if he is a good father to her.’

‘Are you asking me to make a comparison?’

Garth considered. He mentally sighed. Was this just his ego wanting a massage? He instantly dismissed the idea. No. He simply wanted to know whether Adrian looked after this precious child in the same way he once had. When Garth failed to reply, Emma took it as her cue to speak.

‘Adrian provides for her, if that’s what you mean. Materially, there is nothing Anna goes without.’

‘And emotionally?’

Emma hesitated. ‘Adrian isn’t as patient as you were. Are. You won’t catch him walking the corridor at the midnight hour while Anna screams because she’s cutting another tooth.’

Garth’s mouth settled into a grim line. ‘Why doesn’t he do that?’

Emma gave a mirthless laugh. ‘Because half the time Adrian isn’t home. He’s out being Mr Sociable. Schmoozing clients. So he says, anyway. More likely he’s up to no good with some little trollop picked up from who knows where. And if he
is
home, he’s tired. Bless him.’ Garth glanced at Emma. Her last two words had been loaded with sarcasm. ‘Apart from anything else, heaven help Anna and me if Mr High-and-Mighty’s sleep is disturbed.’

‘Does he interact with her?’

‘What, you mean like getting down on all fours and letting Anna ride ‘Neddy’? Or pretending he’s having a picnic with her and Dolly as he pours invisible orange juice from an invisible jug?’ Emma was aware she was starting to rattle, but suddenly she couldn’t stop. For months on end, she’d been like a pressure cooker on slow simmer. Now she was threatening to let off steam in all directions.

‘Yes,’ said Garth quietly. ‘That’s exactly what I mean.’ He realised Emma was on the brink of tears.

‘Then no,’ Emma said. Her voice wobbled. She was desperately trying to regain her composure. ‘Adrian doesn’t do any of those things. He’ll look after Anna if I go to the hairdressers. And he’ll push her in her buggy while I trolley a shopping cart around the supermarket. But that’s about it. He doesn’t get down to her level. I don’t think he knows how to.’

They peddled on in silence for a bit. When Garth next looked across at Emma he saw she’d lost the battle with tears.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked gruffly.

‘Would you mind if we stopped for a moment,’ she sniffed. ‘I need to blow my nose.’

‘Of course.’

The bike brakes squeaked and creaked as they ground to a halt. Emma frantically foraged deep within a pocket. ‘Sod it,’ she said in exasperation. ‘I don’t have a tissue.’ It seemed to be the last straw for her. Suddenly she was bawling loudly and didn’t care who witnessed her distress.

Garth dismounted his bike. Making sure it didn’t topple over with Anna still on board, he pulled a packet of tissues from his back pocket. Wordlessly he handed the whole thing to Emma.

‘Thanks,’ she mumbled before dabbing her eyes and noisily trumpeting into a paper hanky. ‘I can’t go on like this. It’s destroying me.’ She looked at Garth through bloodshot eyes. Her long eyelashes had stuck together from crying. They looked like flattened spider’s legs. ‘Please,’ she begged. ‘Take me back to England. Take me home. I want to be with you.’