Secrets and Scars: A Gripping Psychological Thriller (Fatal Hearts Series Book 3) (9 page)

“That’s a great sacrifice. You’re wonderful people.”

“Our son is dead. What we do is our way of turning something bad into something good. There’s a positive in every negative. You just have to be brave enough to look past the pain.”

I nodded but didn’t speak. I was not yet at the stage where I could see the good in my situation.

“He seems to really love you.” She pointed through the door to where Owen and Anna played. “He’s a keeper.”

“Yes, he is. But it’s complicated.”

“Are you sure it’s not just you complicating things?”

Chapter Eighteen

Darkness fell over the camp and Jeordi was still not back. We’d just had dinner and were sitting around the fire outside. All we could do was wait.

Ingrid still didn't seem worried as she plaited her daughter's hair. She’d braided mine moments before.

Unlike her, I was becoming increasingly worried that Alvin had gotten to them first. What were a few men to an angry monster? I kept expecting Alvin to show up any second and take us all by surprise. When I’d voiced my concerns to Owen earlier, even he didn't hide that he was worried too.

I wanted to thank Ingrid for her hospitality so far and leave as soon as possible in order to keep them safe.

“Alvin can’t be underestimated.” My eyes met Ingrid’s over the blazing flames. The heat made my skin glow. “I can’t help but worry.”

“It doesn't surprise me at all that they’re not back yet. It won’t be the first time they’ve disappeared for hours. They probably went fishing or hunting, and stopped somewhere to barbecue.”

Owen shoved a hand through his hair. “But what if Alvin attacked them?”

“I don't think one man with a gun is more dangerous than several of them.” Ingrid smoothed Anna’s freshly braided hair. “Trust me, my husband and his boys know how to use their weapons. Now try to relax.” She rose and stretched. “I hope you won’t mind if we leave you. Anna needs to go to bed.”

“No bed,” Anna cut in. “I want to play with Owen.”

“No, Anna.” Ingrid reached for her daughter’s hand. “Owen will be here tomorrow. You’ll play then.”

Owen chuckled. “When you sleep, you become even smarter so you can beat me at any game.”

“Okay.” Anna stood. “Bis morgen.”

“Till tomorrow,” Owen replied. It seemed he had learned a few words of German from Anna.

Ingrid mouthed a thank you at Owen, then said, “I hope everything is comfortable in your hut. If you need anything else, just let me know. Try to have a good night’s rest. No worries. Jeordi is protective of his land; he won’t let anybody pass through.” She smiled at me. “You’ve suffered a great ordeal. If tomorrow you’re still not ready to leave, you can stay for as long as you want.”

Owen and I said our goodnights to Ingrid and Anna, who threw herself into both our arms for a hug, and then they disappeared into their hut. We were now alone with the guard, who sat with his gun in front of the closest hut. He didn’t speak English, so we couldn’t easily communicate with him.

Owen and I watched the shadows dancing on each other's faces.

“Still worried?” I folded my arms. “Maybe Ingrid is right and we shouldn't be. I'm sure Jeordi can protect himself against Alvin.”

“I'm not worried about Jeordi. I'm worried about you. I still can't believe what Alvin did to you.”

“I'm worried about me too.” My words came out in broken pieces. “But you don't have to take on all my problems. You have so much of them already on your shoulders. Once we get home, I hope you'll be able to recover from all this.”

“Trust me”—he stretched out his legs—”I don't think I will. Not unless you do. As long as you're suffering, I'll be suffering. I can’t help but feel your pain.”

“Owen,” I closed my eyes. “Don't.”

“Chloe, I know this is hard. I have no idea where we’ll end up… what will happen.” He sighed. “But I know I want you, and I'm going to give you as much time as you need to want me back. There’s one thing I can’t do, not even if you beg me. I'll never give up on you. I'll be waiting here for us long as it takes you to reach me.”

“As messed up as I am?”

“To me you're just as perfect as the first day I met you. Nothing that happened tarnishes the image I have of you.”

I wiped away a tear with the tips of my fingers and stood. My breath came out in quick gasps. “I'm sorry. I think... I think I need to go to bed. I can't talk about this now.” I walked off with tears streaming down my face.

Inside the dark hut, I threw myself onto the mattress and dropped my head into my hands. I gave in, allowed myself to cry, to feel the pain.

I looked up when I heard a movement at the door. Through blurred eyes I watched Owen walk through the doorway, an oil lamp in his hands. He closed the small wooden door behind him and came to sit down next to me. He took my face between his hands.

“I'm not pretending you don't have HIV. I'm just choosing to love you anyway.”

“I'm so broken, Owen. So damaged. My heart, my body. I don't even know where the pain starts and where it ends.”

“I'll help put you back together again, if you’ll let me. I know this is soon, and you still have to come to terms with everything that’s happened, but I want you to know that you can have a normal life, and normal relationships.” Tears sparkled in his eyes.

“Maybe.” All my life I had been running away from being imperfect, doing everything I could for people to love me, to accept me. Now here I was, shattered, and for the first time in my life I didn't have to work to make somebody love me. The feeling was foreign to me. “But aren’t you afraid? What if I end up infecting you?”

He pressed his lips to my forehead and kept them there for a long time as I continued to cry in his arms. “I will go to the ends of the world for you. Nothing can stop me from loving you in every way possible, not even HIV.” He gazed into my eyes. “There are all kinds of ways to protect both of us. I know great doctors who will be able to give you all the medical treatment you need.”

“I wish I could give you an answer now,” I whispered. “But I can't think straight, not with Alvin possibly still out there.”

He kissed the tip of my nose. “You know what? You don't have to do anything. You don't have to say anything. Just let me be here for you. Let me love you. I'm not expecting anything in return, not yet.”

He wrapped his arms tightly around me and I collapsed into sobs. He cried with me, our bodies shaking together.

Finally we broke apart, and then he helped me under the multicolored quilt and lay beside me, pulling me close.

Chapter Nineteen

To my surprise and utter joy, Jeordi woke us up with fresh bread, coffee, and the news of what they had discovered while on the search for Alvin.

“I'm afraid he was not in the caldera. Which means he must have survived—and he's looking for you.”

I dropped my head into my hands and let out a frustrated breath.

“Should we start moving?” Owen put down his uneaten slice of bread.

Jeordi drank from his own mug of coffee. “I think it's safe for you to stay here, at least another day or two. That way he might think you have escaped and give up the search. Does he know the location of your yacht?”

“No. I don’t think so. He doesn't even know what it looks like. There were also several others where I parked it.”

“Well, the only way I can protect you both is if you stay on my land. I can't guarantee your safety out there.”

“Jeordi is right.” I turned to Owen. “Maybe he’ll think something happened to us and quit.”

“It's dangerous out there in the jungle. I'm actually surprised the snakes didn't get you. There are lots of them at this time of year, a few of them deadly.”

“One almost did
get us.” Owen lifted his mug of coffee to his lips.

I shuddered as I remembered the snake that had come so close to biting him.

“If Chloe thinks we should stay put, I'm fine with it. I just want her to be safe.” He squeezed my hand. “Is there any way we could reach out to people at home? Do you have a phone?”

“No phone. When we come here we like to take a break from technology. But for emergencies, I do have a laptop with an Internet connection. You can use it.”

***

Owen and I sat on two empty chairs around the fireplace. Ingrid was waiting for the large kettle over the fire to boil so she could make more coffee for Jeordi's men. They were working on the land already, but were expected to return in a few minutes to have breakfast.

Jeordi walked over to us, and placed a state-of-the-art MacBook in my hands.

“I think you should take it back to your hut. Try to stay in there as often as possible. Stay hidden.”

Owen and I agreed and left with the laptop.

First I read the emails from Mom and Kirsten. I was relieved to be able to tell them Owen had helped me escape from Alvin’s yacht, and that I was all right, but it was tainted by the dread of what awaited us. I didn't make promises I couldn't keep. Honesty was the best option.

I also returned Jolene’s emails, giving her the same news.

Owen sat next to me, reading along without comment. At first he had asked if I wanted privacy, but what more did I have to hide? All my secrets were out in the open.

The last email I read was from Lester Reading. He’d found out what I already knew, that Alvin Jones was alive and he could be responsible for the murder of Stacy Prammer.

“Well, that’s news.” I hit reply.

Dear Lester,

Thank you for your emails. I apologize for not responding sooner. Unfortunately I’ve found out the hard way that Alvin was responsible not only for Stacy Prammer's death, but for the murder of my other friend, Jane Dreer. He’s also my husband now. He revealed his identity only once we got married. Since then he kept me on his yacht, torturing me, and threatening to kill me. I managed to escape, and I’m now hiding out on a farm in Jamaica.

I glanced at Owen. “Do you think it’ll be difficult to dissolve my marriage to Miles?” I’d never informed myself on marriage dissolution. Like any woman in love, I’d thought once I got married, it would be forever. Miles and I had never even discussed prenuptial agreements in detail. In fact, he had refused to have one.

Owen clasped his hands behind his head. “Given your situation, I think it should be pretty straightforward. I don’t think that’s something you should bother yourself with.”

I nodded and continued writing. In a few paragraphs, I told Lester the rest of the details of my disappearance and torture.

Lester, should I not return alive, please reveal the details of my kidnapping to the police and the general public. Alvin is a very dangerous man. He should be stopped before he murders anyone else. I’ll contact you as soon as I have more news, if I get the chance.

Chloe

I logged out of my email account. “Want to check your emails?”

“I don’t think I have any important ones.” He switched off the laptop. “Whatever needs my attention can wait.”

I pushed my hand into his and leaned my head against his shoulder. “Owen, I don’t think I’d have made it this far without you.”

“Don’t forget I’m doing this for my own selfish reasons.”

Chapter Twenty

We kept our promise to Jeordi and hid inside our hut for most of the day. As the hours stretched on, all we could do was lie on the mattress, gazing up at the ceiling, playing the board games some of Jeordi’s men had given us, or talking about things that didn’t hurt. Ingrid served us both lunch and dinner inside the hut, and brought us an oil lamp at nightfall.

We managed to fit in a moment of laughter when we recalled the times we used to despise each other.

“I didn’t despise you.” I shrugged “I just felt uncomfortable around you. You made me feel that way.”

He turned onto his side and looked down at me, resting his head on one of his fists. “Each time I saw you, I died inside. The thought of being best man to the one who was going to take you away from me was absolute torture.”

“I guess you’re glad it didn’t work out, huh?”

He let out a long breath. “In a way, though I wouldn’t have wanted it to happen like this. But yeah, during my darkest times, I did fantasize about the wedding not working out. Even though I made you believe that you and Miles were not meant to be, you had strong enough chemistry to make me jealous.”

“And I bet you never imagined being on the run with me in a Jamaican jungle.”

He placed a hand under my chin. “No, I never did. But if running through a jungle with you is the only time we get to spend together, it’s worth it. Coming to get you has been the best decision of my life. I want to continue rescuing you, if you’ll let me.”

“You don’t know what you’re taking on. I’m a pretty heavy burden to carry.”

“Not to me.” Before I could say anything more, his lips touched mine, warm and gentle. I placed my hand on his hard chest and pushed him away. He placed a hand on the side of my face, keeping me where he wanted me. Despite my resistance, butterflies fluttered in the pit of my stomach. My body burned. When he pulled away, I fell, as though I had been dropped from the sky. Only his kiss could catch me.

“Tell me you didn’t feel that.”

I pulled myself up, the tips of my fingers on my hot lips. “How I feel is not important. I said you can’t kiss me like that.”

His face was close again, but this time he didn’t kiss me, just pressed his forehead to mine. “HIV isn’t spread through saliva.”

A knock on the door made us spring apart, as though we had been caught doing something naughty.

“May I enter?” came Jeordi’s voice from the other side.

“Sure,” Owen replied, his voice edged with a hint of disappointment.

Jeordi opened the door a crack, peered through the slit, and then widened it.

“Is everything all right?” I sat up, the kiss still clouding my mind. “Did you see him?”

Jeordi had been away most of the day, on the search for Alvin, and it was the first time we’d seen him since breakfast.