Secrets Everybody Knows (14 page)

“Meet me at the stream,” Johnny whispered.

“What am I? Suicidal? No.”

“Please. I have to talk to you.”

“No,” Elaine hissed. She twisted to walk away, but he grabbed her arm. Momentum swung her around to face him again. For a split second she thought he meant to kiss her, but then his face changed into an expression she couldn’t pinpoint. Not a kissing expression for sure. “Let me go.”

“I just want to talk privately.”

“We’ve done a lot of ‘privately’. I need some ‘publicly’ now for balance.” She jerked her arm out of his grasp and walked away.

“I thought I told you Mr. Kohler wanted a bus,” Lily said when Elaine got closer.

“It doesn’t matter. It just took me by surprise.”

Lily narrowed her eyes. “Did you get too much sun? You’re all red.”

Elaine touched her face. “I don’t know, maybe I did. I’m going to go in the church and see how things are going there.”

“But–”

Elaine half-ran to the fellowship hall doors and upstairs to the big room where the church hosted a running program of recitals, talent shows and independent local movies designed to allow people to have a place to sit down. There was nothing for her to do in the church. Reverend Thomas had been doing this festival longer than she had. A team was putting the finishing touches on the stage while another team readied the kitchen. Before someone could spot her, Elaine headed for the classrooms downstairs. They would be used for first aid, nursing and the lost and found. Everything would be ready for those stations so she should have the place to herself.

Strong hands pushed her through the door of the infants’ nursery. By the time she turned around, Johnny had shut the door and was leaning against it. The only light in the room was a sliver of daylight making its way down the hall from the stairwell and through the long narrow window in the door.

Chapter 9

“Johnny, what the hell are you doing?”

“I needed to talk to you, and you wouldn’t meet me at the stream.”

“No, I’m not going to meet you at the stream. I’m not meeting you anywhere.” Elaine put her hands on her hips. “There is nothing you can say to me, Johnny McMannus.”

“Why did you go to the hospital? Are you hurt or sick?”

“No.” Profoundly depressed, the doctor had said. Not hurt or sick, just depressed.

“Elaine, are you sure you’re all right?” Johnny reached out to touch her face.

Elaine batted his hand away. “I’ll be fine as soon as you let me out of this room.”

“I’m trying to get my parents into rehab.”

“I know. My mother told me.”

“Your mother?”

“Things changed after you left. My mother went back to school and became a nurse. My parents got divorced.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh, stop it.” Elaine folded her arms. “You act like you caused everything. It’s your fault your parents are alcoholics. It’s your fault your sister never left home. It’s your fault we were seeing each other when we shouldn’t have been.”

“I knew better.”

“And I didn’t? Oh, I’m so afraid of the dark, dark woods. Please walk me home ’cause I’m ascared,” Elaine said in her prissiest tone. “Did you honestly think I needed a big strong boy to protect me through woods I’d been playing in since I was old enough to be out of my mother’s sight?”

“You said you did.”

“I was sixteen. I’d never had a boy tell me I was pretty. You were dangerous. You have no idea how exciting that was for me.”

“So you set out to what? Seduce me?” In the shadows, Elaine couldn’t see his face, but his voice shook with confusion.

“Maybe not in those exact terms, but yes. There was a heady thrill to how fast you took the bait. The fact that no one could know just made it more exciting. I finally got to do something really bad and no one would ever know.” She licked her lips. It was only part lie. Back then, the idea of someone catching them had been the thing she wanted most and least in life. If they had caught her with Johnny she would have been the fallen good girl. But a lot of pressure would have disappeared in her dishonor.

“So you chased me?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s what I’ve been saying.”

“I don’t understand. If that’s all it was to you, then why didn’t you move on after I left? There had to be other guys available.”

Elaine chewed the inside of her cheek. She didn’t want to love him anymore, but ever since she’d found him back in town it had been like the night he left. The raw edges of her shredded heart chafed against her ribs. “Maybe absence makes the heart grow delusional. You always remember the one who got away.”

“But I’m back now.”

“You know, the reality just isn’t as good as the memory.” Elaine smirked, amazed she could lie so well. She’d never considered herself a good liar, but this was spilling out of her like poison sap.

“So I’m different now?”

“And not in a good way.”

Johnny took a step forward so Elaine took a step back. “You didn’t seem to think that the other day at the bus garage.” He took another step forward.

“You took me by surprise.” When Elaine backed up, she bumped against a crib. She slid along the rail. “What are you doing?”

Johnny put a hand on the rail, blocking her exit. “Just testing something.”

“What?” Elaine edged toward the wall and he put his other hand there.

“You aren’t surprised today. How come you’re breathing hard?”

“You shoved me in here, blocked the door, and now you’re menacing me. I could scream.”

“You could if you wanted to.”

The world distorted as if she were looking through a fish-eye lens. Johnny leaned closer. She smelled the musky scent of his skin. Elaine pressed against the crib and clutched the bars.

“You’re not screaming,” he murmured. He dipped his head closer, brushing his lips along her jaw.

Elaine shuddered. “Don’t do this, Johnny.”

“Why? I thought you liked the forbidden excitement. You thought I was dangerous. Maybe that’s what I need to be again.”

“I don’t need danger anymore.”

His hands closed around her arms, sliding up to her shoulders. “Are you sure?” He dragged his lips up her cheek to her earlobe.

Elaine shuddered. She was alone in the dark with him again. Letting him do whatever he wanted. Giving in because a secret boyfriend was better than no boyfriend and Johnny was better than any man alive. She planted her hands on his shoulders. “No. I’m sure.” She ducked under his hands and ran for the door. “I don’t want danger, and I don’t want forbidden excitement. I want someone who loves me in the full light of day.”

* * * *

“Start it up,” Johnny yelled over the truck engine roaring behind him. The Honda in front of him sputtered to life. He detached the jumper cables and dropped the hood, instinctively pulling out of the way of the swinging fist. The second swing he caught before it reached him. “Kathy, what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m cleaning your clock,” Kitty shouted.

“Can I finish what I’m doing here first?” He brushed past her on the way to the driver’s side window.

The driver, a thin woman in her fifties, glanced at Johnny and then over his shoulder. Johnny assumed Kitty was waiting her turn because she hadn’t tried to hit him again.

“All set, ma’am. I’m pretty sure you just left the door ajar this morning and the overhead light never went off. The battery was drained, but if it happens again, you’ll want to take it to your local mechanic. It could be an electrical problem.”

“Th-th-thank you.” She glanced over his shoulder again. “What do I owe you?”

“Nothing. It’s a service of the festival.” Johnny straightened. He sensed Kitty standing behind him. “Have a safe trip home.”

“You too,” the woman said, rolling up her window.

Johnny turned around. “Before you try to hit me again, I’d like to know why.”

“How can you be so stupid?” Kitty screeched.

Johnny rubbed the back of his neck. He hadn’t slept much last night because he’d been replaying his encounter with Elaine trying to fix it. If he’d been able to keep his hands off her for five minutes, he could have told her what he planned to do. She wouldn’t have gotten so angry if she’d known he had a plan. Maybe she wouldn’t have stormed out. Finally he realized Kitty was waiting for an answer. “Because I’m a dumb grease monkey. You want to narrow that question down a little bit?”

“Elaine loves you.”

Johnny glanced around, but there was no one within earshot. Sue had said she’d talked to Kitty and Kitty had talked to Elaine. Sue was on his side. Kitty apparently was not. “Elaine has made her feelings clear.”

“Really? And this is why you’re trying to change the world?”

Johnny wondered if Sue had had the same sloppy conversation with Kitty about changing the world that she’d had with him. The repeated phrasing seemed too perfect. “I’m doing what I think is best.”

“And that’s worked out so well before.” Kitty threw her hands in the air.

Johnny steeled himself not to flinch. “It’s the only thing I can figure to do.” He walked to the truck and turned off the engine, then he started winding up the jumper cables.

“The only thing you could figure out in fourteen years is to fix all the ills of the world before you can tell people you think my sister is cute.” Kitty grabbed the cables off his arm and threw them on the ground. “God, you are so stupid.”

Johnny kept his voice calm. “I’m not fixing the ills of the world. I need to fix my dad’s financial mess and get my parents into rehab.”

“Gee, maybe you’d like to work on world peace while you’re at it. You can go hang out with Jimmy Carter and the two of you can go broker a settlement between whatever groups are at one another’s throats this week. Sorry, I haven’t been watching CNN lately.”

“Kathy–”

“Kitty,” she spat.

“Kitty, I’m doing what I can.” Johnny picked up the jumper cables and carried them to the back of the truck.

“The doctor said she was profoundly depressed. Profoundly.” Kitty followed him, stopping right behind him. “
Profoundly
.”

Johnny leaned on the truck. They might both feel better if he just let her hit him. At least she’d stop repeating that word. “That’s not my fault.”

“The hell it isn’t. She got depressed when you left town, and she’s been that way ever since.”

“I’m the worst thing for her,” Johnny shouted. “The best thing I can do for everyone is leave town again.”

“Yeah, because that would be a bold, unusual move on your part. Run away when things get messy.” Kitty folded her arms. She looked like an immovable object. “Don’t face anything. Don’t deal with consequences. Leave that for the other schmucks who aren’t smart enough to take off.”

“You want me to ruin Elaine’s life. Is that what you want?”

“No, I want you to save it.”

“Fine. I’ll go up there and tell her, shall I?” Johnny climbed out of the truck and slammed the door. “I’ll go tell her in front of God and everybody that I’ve been in love with her since she was sixteen years old and I don’t want to live without her.”

“You go, cowboy.”

Johnny pushed past her. Fury carried him half a mile toward the Circle. Then doubt started undermining his stride. If he did this, there would be no going back.

He didn’t want to go back. He wanted Elaine. She was the only one he’d ever wanted. He’d just had the bad luck to meet her when she was too young and hadn’t had enough sense to hold back. Poor judgment and impulse control. Nearer the Circle, the crowds thickened. It would be easy to slide away into the garage. Put this off until there were fewer people around.

But most of the people here were from out of town. They didn’t know who he was or who she was. This might be the only time he could talk to her in public without having to face the town to do it.

He set his jaw and started up the street in the direction of the Circle. He passed between the school and the church, not looking at either one.