Read Secrets of My Hollywood Life: There’s No Place Like Home Online
Authors: Jen Calonita
Secrets of My Hollywood Life: There’s No Place Like Home (24 page)
“What do you mean?” I take a sip of the icy cranberry juice Nurse Gail brought me. I’m sipping it down by the quart, I’m so
thirsty from all this talking. And, well, from surgery.
“Kates, you’ve always wondered what your life would be like if you were just like the rest of us, and it sounds like your
dream gave you a chance to do just that.” Nadine taps a pen on the bible—my real bible, Tahiti stickers and all. “Now you
know you’re on the right path.”
“That’s more than the rest of us can say at eighteen,” Liz points out.
“So what do you do now, Burke?” Austin asks.
“A lot,” I say simply and rest my head on the hospital bed pillow to think about it. I’m suddenly very tired again.
They must realize that, because they say their good-byes and Austin shuts off the overhead light, but I can’t sleep. My mind
is racing. It may have been a dream, but this is my second chance. I am going to figure out how I want my life to work, once
and for all. This time I’m going to straighten everything out, which is something I should have done a long time ago. If that
dream has taught me anything, it’s this: You can’t wait on things. You have to do what you love, take the time to say what’s
in your heart, and take control of your own destiny.
I’m finally going to take charge of mine.
Kaitlin Burke in Car Crash Involving the Paparazzi
By Ellie Reeseman
Her eighteenth birthday should have been so bright, she needed to wear those Gucci aviators she was eyeing at Barney’s that morning. But instead of making a birthday purchase for herself, Kaitlin headed up to Barney Greengrass restaurant at Barneys New York to have breakfast with her personal assistant, Nadine Holbrook; her boyfriend, Austin Meyers; her best friend, Liz Mendes; and
Small Fries
costar Sky Mackenzie. Witnesses say the birthday brunch went downhill fast, with Kaitlin leaving in tears. “Kaitlin’s assistant was giving her notice,” says a witness. “She was devastated. I looked away to put sugar in my chamomile tea, and when I turned back they were arguing about college and Kaitlin’s mom.”
Those familiar with Kaitlin’s mother, Meg Burke, know she’s been a sour note in Kaitlin’s skyrocketing career, pushing her daughter to such lengths that she became the subject of a less-than-flattering cover story in
Sure
last year. “She has been riding Kaitlin hard lately, pushing her to sign on to two high-profile movies,” says a source close to the Burkes. “The projects are a huge get for Kaitlin, but taking both during one hiatus? Can you spell exhaustion? Kaitlin seems overwhelmed.”
It’s no wonder then that on the morning of her birthday Kaitlin wasn’t concerned about having a fight with friends in front of the paparazzi, who were busy snapping away. When Kaitlin realized what was happening, sources say she told off the shutterbugs. “She said that she was sick of her Hollywood life and wished it would all just disappear and for the cameras to go along with it,” says one photographer, who asked not to be named. “It didn’t sound like her at all.”
“Kaitlin said nothing of the sort, and I have three photographers who were present that will confirm our side of the story,” insists her publicist, Laney Peters. “Kaitlin was involved in an accident with the paparazzi that she had no control over. Instead of worrying about what Kaitlin was saying as she fled for her life, we should be talking about how the government of California should enact harsher laws against paparazzi and create legislation regarding the invasion of privacy for celebrities.”
Following the heated discussion, Kaitlin rushed into a waiting SUV—not her usual car—and sped off with the salivating paparazzi in hot pursuit. What happened next is uncertain, but somewhere on Wilshire Boulevard, the SUV jumped a curb and hit a fence. No one on the street was injured, but Kaitlin, Austin, and the driver, Frank Turnblatt, were taken for medical treatment, with Kaitlin suffering a concussion and a broken ankle. She was released two days later after being monitored for head injuries. “I am so thankful that Austin, our driver, and I are okay and that no one else was hurt,” said Kaitlin in her only statement. “Driving is serious business and I, for one, don’t think anyone should get behind the wheel when they’re upset. I know I won’t when I get my license. But after what happened, I think that will be a ways away. For now, I just want to concentrate on my family, friends, and the future. To all my fans who sent their well wishes, thank you. Have a wonderful holiday season. We all have so much to be grateful for.”
“Are your eyes closed?” I tease.
“Kate-Kate, you blindfolded us both with my new, never-worn Gucci scarves,” Mom sniffs. “Yes, our eyes are closed and we’re
not peeking. Now what is this about? I’m freezing.” Mom pulls her faux mink jacket (I freaked when she thought of getting
a real one) tightly around her tan neck.
“Meg, it’s fifty degrees,” Dad says dryly. “It’s certainly not freezing.”
“I spoke to Nancy Walsh, and she said it was this cold in New York today.” Mom’s teeth are chattering. “How can it be this
cold here too? My fingers are so numb, I can barely type on my BlackBerry.”
“Now that’s a Christmas present I never thought I’d get,” Dad jokes, and I giggle.
“Enough chatting,” Matty says sternly and winks at me. “If you don’t behave, then you don’t get your present. Well, Dad doesn’t.
This is really for him, Mom. That’s why we said you didn’t have to come.”
“I wanted to be supportive.” Mom blows on her hands.
“You’re getting one of your presents from me later on, Mom,” I remind her. “Well, two presents.”
“Well, where are we now, then?” she complains. “I feel like we’re on a highway, it’s so loud. I don’t like the idea of you
driving us someplace without telling us.”
“Rodney drove,” Matty says. “And besides, that’s why it’s called a surprise.”
Matty looks at me nervously. It took a lot of convincing for Matty to sign on to this present—I paid for most of it, but Matty
chipped in too—but I think after I explained things in detail, he agreed with me. This present is going to make Dad happier
than he’s been in a long time. Matty’s not sure Mom is going to like my gift to her so much, but he promised to support me.
I told him I have a lot more experience in the Mom area since I’ve been doing this longer. “Which means she can be more mad
at you too,” Matty reminded me. That’s what I’m afraid of.
“Are you ready, Kates?” Matty asks. “You should do the honors.”
“Are you sure?” I ask my brother. He looks so grown-up in that black Kenneth Cole peacoat and jeans. I hobble over to him
on my crutches. I can’t wait till these things are gone for real. At least they’re a good reminder of what I’ve learned. It’s
hard to maneuver when you’re wearing a heavy green Gap wool coat, but Mom is right, it’s chilly. That’s why I’m also wearing
a black-and-white-striped cashmere sweater underneath with skinny jeans and those much-talked-about Marc Jacobs boots. (I
really do own a pair!)
“It was your idea.” Matty smiles at me, revealing his perfect teeth. “Which means you get the first round of interrogations
too.”
“Why would there be yelling?” Mom questions, turning blindly toward our voices. “Kaitlin? Matthew?”
I untie Dad’s blindfold first, and then Mom’s. “Merry Christmas!” I yell. Matty hollers and I clap, but Mom and Dad stand
there dumbfounded.
They’re staring at huge glass windows where gleaming cars and SUVS are parked inside the store. We’ve taken them to Dad’s
old car dealership; the one he worked at years ago before he joined the Hollywood food chain. The place isn’t open at nine
AM on a Sunday morning, but that’s okay, the staff is here to welcome us. I asked them to come in early to meet their new
boss.
“But I… don’t understand,” Dad says, looking from Matty to me in confusion. “Why are we in front of my old dealership? I don’t
need a new car. My Maserati is only a year old.”
“True,” Matty says. “Why else would we be here, then?”
Mom sighs. “You two are not getting cars before you get your licenses!”
“We’re not getting cars now, but when we do need wheels, we’re coming here.” I side-eye Matt. “We have an in with the owner.”
“Eric Peterman?” Dad asks.
“No,
you
,” Matt says. “You’re the new owner, Dad. Merry Christmas!”
“What?” Dad’s jaw almost hits the sidewalk and lands on a piece of gum.
“We bought it for you, Dad,” I say, as Mom yells, “WHAT?” I hug him, holding my crutches away from my body. “You’ve never
been as happy as you were working with cars. Everyone should love what they do.”
“But my production deals,” Dad stammers.
“Dad, let’s face it,” Matty says without a hint of irony. “You’re never going to be a real producer. You’ve gotten some gigs
from us, or more like Kates, but you’re not going to make it out there.”
“But that’s okay, Dad, because you are a rock star when it comes to selling cars, and we know you’ve always wanted to own
a dealership,” I add quickly, since Matty is right but also being kind of harsh. “Now you do.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Dad looks misty as he stares at the dealership. “How’d you know I missed this place?”
I grin. “Someone told me. Congrats, Dad! We hope this makes you as happy as you make us.”
Dad bear hugs me and Matty, hitting Matty in the face with one of my crutches. “Are you sure? Really sure? I don’t know what
to say!”
“Ask how they got access to the money to buy this,” Mom gripes, typing furiously on her BlackBerry with her short, pink nails,
despite her aversion to chapped skin.
“Our financial planner said having Dad own a dealership was more cost-effective than having his producing credit worked into
all our future deals,” Matty explains. “He signed off on this. He said he’d show you the numbers to prove it.”
“Kids, I don’t know what to say.” Dad chokes up. “I have always wanted to own this dealership. I’ve missed being here. I’m
terrible at movies.”
“Don’t say that.” Mom pulls the sleeve of his Ralph Lauren trench coat. “You’re brilliant!”
“Meg, I’m not, and I’m not happy doing it either.” Dad looks serious, not sad. “Hollywood is not for me. All I want is to
watch my kids do well and to enjoy their careers. I’m happy to take a backseat and sell some great cars.”
“But, but…” Mom is speechless.
If this has her, wait till she sees what’s next.
“Mom, you look like you could use a drink,” says Matty, leading her to the front door. “The staff has bagels and mimosas and
coffee inside to celebrate.”
“Afterward, Mom, I’m taking you for a massage.” I click clack with my crutches behind her. “I made appointments for us at
the Four Seasons Hotel spa, and afterward we’re going to have lunch at the Gardens.”
“That sounds superb, sweetie,” Mom gushes. “How thoughtful. You must really be enjoying your time off. ”
“Yes, it’s been great getting stuff done,” I say truthfully and wink at Rodney, who is carrying my new bag—it’s a sparkly
red Chloé bag that looks surprisingly similar to the no-name one in my dream. One of my errands this week was to find my dream
bag and buy it. It’s a great reminder of what I nearly lost and what I need to focus on now—getting my life in tip-top shape.
“I have my Christmas shopping done, and I have a lot of assistant interviews scheduled.”
“You’re going to find someone ten times better than Nadine,” Mom says. “It was time for you to make a change anyway.”
“Change is a good thing,” I agree, and try not to smirk. That would be mean. “It’s good to have a fresh start, even if it’s
painful sometimes.”
“Absolutely.” I’m not sure Mom heard me because she’s applying a deep red gloss on her lips and looking in a tiny mirror.
I am making headway on the assistant front, not that it’s been fun. Nadine has been secretly interviewing assistants for me
while she sets up her shingle as a manager. I don’t know how she does it all, but she said she wouldn’t feel good about leaving
me in the lurch during the holidays. I told her it’s quiet this time of year anyway, and it turned out the two weeks I have
off to recuperate is actually almost four weeks with Christmas and New Year’s thrown in the mix. I have plenty of time to
find someone new to help me run my life. I guess. I’ll still miss Nadine.
Which is why I’m not letting her go.
* * *
LIZ’S CELL: Tick tock. Tick tock. Time’s up, Kates! Focus, focus, focus! It’s now or never and I have faith U can do this!!
LUV U!
AUSTIN’S CELL: UVE waited 4EVR 2 do this. Rock it, Burke! UVE practiced & R ready 2 face the fire. I’m thinking of U.
SKY’S CELL: K? Where R U? Did U do it yet? Don’t chicken out! I need Nadine focused, not whining about U. Get going already!
“Katie-kins, that Swe-Thai massage was excellent!” Mom coos. We’re being seated at a table at the Gardens restaurant in the
Four Seasons for lunch. The restaurant is supposed to be casual, but I still think it’s elegant. They have indoor and outdoor
seating (it’s too cold for that today), butter-colored walls, heavy drapes, big armchairs, and a nice, easy, California chic
menu. Mom’s face is glowing. “That was ninety minutes of pure heaven. How was yours?”
“The stone therapy was awesome,” I tell Mom as we settle in to the corner table tucked into the back of the restaurant (my
request). I’m hoping Mom doesn’t question why we’re not sitting at a two-seater instead of this six-chair round table. I pull
my honey blond hair back in a low ponytail. I’m wearing what I had on this morning—my sweater, skinny jeans, and boots. The
outfit is comfortable. And between the massage, the pep talks I’ve been giving myself, and the texts from my friends and Austin,
I also feel confident.
“You were careful with your ankle during the treatment, right?” Mom asks worriedly, checking to make sure she buttoned all
the buttons on her baby blue Aryn K silk blouse that has silk flowers for a collar. Mom’s paired the beautiful top with wide-leg
white trousers and white boots. “We can’t risk you being off your feet any longer than you already are. The show gave you
a very nice break as it is.”
“I know, Mom.”
“I’ve given you a nice break too, you know,” Mom says lightly, rapping her fingers on the table. “I’ve listened to you and
your father and given you time to grieve Nadine’s departure and to come to terms with your hectic spring.” She pauses and
looks into my eyes. “I only want to do what’s best for you, Kaitlin. I know I push you hard sometimes, but it’s only because
I love you and want to see you succeed.”
Here we go…
“I wanted to talk to you about that, Mom.” I take a sip of ice water. “I know you have my best interests at heart, but I still
think juggling Matty and my careers is taking its toll on you. You can’t do it all,” I tell her kindly.
“Of course I can,” Mom says hastily and almost drops the spoon about to go into her iced tea to stir her raw sugar. “I’m not
slacking.”
“I didn’t say you were slacking,” I say hastily and place a napkin on my lap. “I said you have too much on your plate. You…”
I hesitate. “You don’t seem happy, and you look tired.”
“I’m not tired,” Mom insists and instinctively touches her eyes, which are wrinkle-free thanks to her Botox treatments. But
she looks uncomfortable with the subject matter, and she immediately changes the conversation to prove her point. “I’m fine.
Now about those contracts, Kaitlin. You have to sign them today. We need to go to Seth’s right from here. You can’t risk losing
one of these movies!” Mom’s green eyes look wild, like a tiger’s, but they look desperate too. She doesn’t like anyone giving
her feedback on her job, and she really wants me to follow her guidance. I don’t have the heart to tell her that I’ve already
made my decision. I actually signed a contract to do the James Cameron film. I called Mr. Eastwood personally to tell him
I was turning the role down, and he was disappointed, but he applauded my work ethic and said he understood me not wanting
to overextend myself. He said they may not shoot till late fall now, so if that happens, he’ll definitely give me a call.
I take a deep breath before I answer Mom. “I’m not going there today. I have an appointment tomorrow.”
Mom grabs her BlackBerry. “I don’t see any appointment for tomorrow. Tomorrow is Matty’s
Teen Vogue
shoot, and I’m going to be there all day. I guess I could dash out around eleven for half an hour. No, no, I’m wrong. I have a conference call with the
Scooby
folks then. Um…”
“It’s okay, Mom, you don’t have to be there.” I take a roll from the bread basket they’ve just brought. Mom raises her right
eyebrow at me, and I’m not sure if it’s because of my comment or because of the bread.
“Of course I have to be there! You can’t sign without your manager.”
“Sorry I’m late, Kates.” Nadine throws down her bag and coat without looking up. “That Ananda facial rocks and…” She sees
Mom. “I’m out of here.” I grab the back of her green sweater.
“You’re not going anywhere,” I tell her, but she won’t sit.
“Then I’m going,” Mom says, getting up quickly.
“No,” I tell them sternly. “I need to talk to both of you.”
“I thought today was my Christmas gift,” Mom sniffs.
“I thought the massage and lunch were
my
Christmas gift.” Nadine is whiny too. “You’re not what I want for Christmas either, Meg.”
“This is what I’m talking about, Nadine.” Mom points a pink nail at her, and I brace for fighting. “Your flippant attitude
is uncalled for. I think you—”
“Stop,” I tell them. Then I smile sweetly at the waiter bringing over the salads that we didn’t order. I ordered everything
beforehand so there would be no interruptions. “To be honest, the spa day isn’t either of your Christmas gifts. I needed to
get you both in the same place at the same time.”
“Well, that was dishonest, Kaitlin,” says Mom as she drips dressing on her salad, not even asking if it’s low-fat. “Why would
you torture us around the holidays?”
Nadine takes a seat on the other side of me and grabs a roll, much to Mom’s displeasure. “Surprisingly, Kates, I agree with
her.”
“Today isn’t a Christmas gift you can unwrap, but it is a gift of sorts,” I explain. I look down at the crispy lettuce leaves,
hoping for a script to appear that would tell me exactly what to say to make them listen. “Aren’t you tired of being pushed
and squeezed, always trying to catch your breath, doing what everyone else wants you to do?” I ask them both. “Don’t you want
to be happy?”
Mom raises her eyebrows. “Are you saying we’ve made you unhappy, Kaitlin?” She sounds very hurt. “I’ve given you everything
you could possibly want and more. Even when I don’t understand—like when you and Drew Thomas broke up, or when you wanted
to enroll at Clark Hall for a semester—I’ve let you do it. I didn’t realize you were so unhappy.”
