Secrets of the Women's Self-Bondage Cult (3 page)

       "This is Raymond's work, isn't it," Mavis said, carefully inspecting the complicated strap and zipper arrangement.

       "Yes. He does all of my gear. I find he is precise to the absurd degree, but I love everything he has made for me so far."

       "And pricey as well, correct?" asked Mavis, still handling the hood.

       "Oh yes, of course. He has no real sense of value and his partner, Damian, just sets whatever price he thinks I'll pay."

       "True, true," both attendants affirmed.

       "Well, friends, I'm off to a shower and then a real long soak in the sauna. Anyone interested?" Lorrie asked as she wrapped a cotton robe around herself.

       "I'll come," said Mavis quickly and they walked off together while the remaining woman smiled to herself, considering what might happen with three of them in the sauna and Lorrie still carrying a bag full of rope.

Chapter Two

Calibria is an extremely attractive, active, young woman in her early twenties. She functioned as narrator for several meetings and provided a great deal of detail about her own and others' SB experiences.

 She demonstrates a broad range of knowledge and experiences with SB. Here, she sets up some sensible guidelines and talks about common errors, mistakes and how to avoid them.

Of special interest is the discussion of bondage media and positions.

Some of this information was distilled from other interviews as well

Calibria - How I got started
[ii]

       The easiest way to talk about tying yourself up, (easy for me anyway), is to relate how I first got into it. For my twentieth birthday, while I was still in college, an old friend sent me a heavy package with a long letter enclosed. She cautioned me to read the letter before examining the contents, but I went ahead, ripped open the package and was astonished to find a large collection of comics. This was a collection she began, she said, while she too was a university student. Her letter mentioned vaguely that there were few entertainments in those years…no TV, no internet, no U-Tube.

       There were many editions of comics with female heroes from an earlier time and I slowly read each one, marveling at the detailed and complicated plots. What I found most amusing was the amount of bondage in these books. Men and women were often quite graphically tied, gagged or chained and I found it surprisingly arousing. Back then, it was perhaps a short jump from reading comics to lying in bed at night, imagining myself in the situation of some woman, (or man), in the comics, bound to a tree by some evil criminal and left to suffer whatever additional perils the writer or comic artist and writer had in mind. Some of the books were hard bound, (no pun), editions with the entire history of the comic strip and the more I read the more I marveled at the freedom these graphic artists had in their day to portray vivid and detailed scenes, often with nudity.

       Going to see a film was often an even stronger stimulus and I remember going back to my college dorm and wanting desperately to try to tie myself up as I had seen done in the film. I discovered, somewhat belatedly in my life, that certain parts of my body responded to the mental and physical stimuli. For example, I found that rope was an excellent source of arousal on my breasts and nipples. Putting a course rope around my waist and then tying it through my legs was the most exciting thing I could do.

       I began by using whatever materials I found. Lengths of cord and rope were often easy to find and could be kept, with relative secrecy, in a hundred places where no one, even if they found them, would become unduly alarmed. Tying my hands and feet while in bed, supposedly asleep, became a common practice when I was still in college and I cannot recall that I had any real understanding about what was happening other than it was an impulse and a satisfying one apparently. When I was at home and accidentally caught by my parents, little or nothing was ever said about it. If it worried my parents, it was probably passed off as a "growing up" thing that would go away in time. It is important to note that no one ever said that it was wrong or dangerous. In fact, no one ever said anything about it at all.

       So I moved ahead with a normal life, collecting more comics, books, magazines, clippings and other printed materials along the way. These often described or showed people tied with rope, chain, straps or even shoelaces. I literally learned the ropes of BDSM from books, not from other people.

       Over time, I formulated a series of personal guidelines, but until the author of this book asked me, it had just never occurred to me to write them down or codify the elements.

       Only a few times in my active BDSM life have I had a serious incident with self-bondage. Once I was lucky enough to be able to get help from a close friend who knew about and shared my erotic interests. Another time, I came close to having to get help, but somehow managed to get loose. So, given the many years of quiet, secret practice, here are some basics which I have learned. The various types of bondage media are broken into arbitrary categories: Overt, middle of the road, neutral/passive.

       Overt - meaning this stuff is obviously used for restraint and if you leave it out in the open or in your travel luggage, you need to have some explanation ready…even if it's simply that you are a BDSM practitioner. Many other clearly BDSM materials fall into this category as well. Hoods, gags, collars in general, rigid cuffs, spreader bars, butt plugs, dildoes, butt hooks, etc. all tend to stand out and may identify you or your interests.

       Middle of the road - This includes rope, straps and possibly chain. On the surface, these items are not necessarily for bondage, but that may not keep viewers from making assumptions and drawing their own conclusions.

       Neutral or passive - This is just everyday stuff that does not trigger the restraint association reaction in most people. Example: if you have three bathrobes in your closet, each with a sash that you personally use to tie yourself, you can be reasonably sure that this won't signal anything. It certainly will have a different message than the handcuffs and ball gag in the drawer next to the bed.

Preferred materials - Overt

       Handcuffs: Having these is about as direct a message as you can send. Just make sure you have keys in critical places and that you understand exactly how they operate as well. There are many types and brands of handcuffs and some use different keys that look pretty much the same but do not fit in the keyhole of another brand. I have three different kinds of cuff keys and they aren't interchangeable.

       The cheaper they are, the more likely they are to malfunction or lock up when you don't expect them to. The more complicated cuffs are intentionally designed to be hard to escape from and you should perhaps consider this before you spend large amounts of dollars or Euros on high end, sophisticated cuffs.

       Good maintenance, although it may sound silly, is one way to prevent unwanted and scary bondage events. Cheaper cuffs are more prone to rust from constant body contact and may jam for no apparent reason. A little bit of light oil in the moving parts can help avoid such encounters.

       Handcuffs can hurt and actually injure if used improperly. There are liners for handcuffs and shackles that spread the pressure over a wider area and are less uncomfortable. Be aware that cuffs can tighten to a point where they may interfere with circulation and do nerve damage. Setting the security locks on the cuffs is a good way to prevent this. Many common styles of cuffs have small security pins set into the frame for locking the ratchet. You set the pins by pushing a short shaft, often on the opposite end of the key, into the pinhole which also needs a bit of oil from time to time. This locks the cuff so that it will not close further. Other brands/styles use a different kind of ratchet lock. Once the ratchet is set with the security lock, it is harder, but not impossible, to pick the lock itself.

       If you are interested or can afford custom cuffs, you can have almost anything made and much of it can become daily wear, passing as jewelry. Gold or silver cuffs with hidden locks and small rings attached will get attention. Many years ago, Cartier first introduced a simple gold bangle bracelet that had a small gold lock. The message was clear that the wearer of this costly piece of jewelry was locked into a relationship of some sort. Few who saw the piece concluded that it might have other BDSM implications. If you wear a matched pair, you may make some new friends at the next party.

       For most kinds of metal media, it is practical to have a set of heavy bolt cutters in your stash. These are not cheap, but may save your ass if you get into a situation where the keys are unreachable, the locks are frozen and cannot be keyed open, or some other catastrophe occurs that requires immediate emergency release. If you are as paranoid as I am, add a good quality metal file and a hacksaw to your emergency tool kit. Having this kit in your bedroom closet is not going to get anyone upset and is a very good backstop if you ever need it. Just as a good, a sharp knife is your escape backup for rope, the bolt cutter, file and saw are your safety for steel cuffs, chains and shackles.

       Leg shackles: Same issues as with cuffs. These are not something you would normally have around the house, although I know people who say they use them to secure their luggage when it's unattended and as bicycle locks. I personally like leg shackles for use on upper arms and, at times, as a substitute for handcuffs, especially when they are lined with leather or some other soft material.

       Collars: Same as above, but within certain segments of society, and at certain times in fashion history. A nice collection of metal or leather collars will get no more reaction than a pair of leather jeans, a tattoo or a rubber dress in the closet. Any collar should fit well and not compress the neck. Some metal collars are custom-fitted to have a bit of a taper and curve to them so that they lie flat against the neck and don't exert so much pressure on the edges. Anything with spikes is going to get a lot of attention, but a jewelry collar, with stones or precious metal, even if it locks and has rings attached, may be fashionable in some circles.

       Straps: I use a range of straps for even tighter restraint. Straps have another advantage: they are easily stored because they fit into life styles reasonably well…more so than cuffs and shackles ever do. I also have a few lengths of rubber strap. These are one or two-inch wide lengths cut from truck tire inner tubes. I first saw them used by furniture movers and got myself some to use as handy, stretchy bindings. They work very well, especially for crotch straps or in cases where you need some stretch with a lot of strength. Depending on how you are blessed in the chest, these stretchy straps make excellent and exciting breast bindings. Long, one inch wide leather straps have many uses. One of the best sources for such leather body straps in different sizes is the equestrian tack shop. Saddle or stirrup straps are sturdy and useful. Soften them up and keep them from cracking by using leather treatment every now and then.

       Specialized BD/SB gear: Items such as single gloves, harnesses, gags, explicit sexual gear, such as dildoes and butt plugs, will normally kick off a reaction from anyone who sees them or discovers them in your bathroom cabinet or bedroom closet. You have to decide if you care. Most SB people I know play it very close to the chest and secure all of their gear from prying fingers and eyes.

       If there are young or senior adults or children in the house or apartment, you need a whole different set of security standards. My advice is that if anyone under the age of 21 is in the same living area, keep your stuff elsewhere, out of the house. The possibility of an older family member snooping around can also be reason to lock your gear up.

Middle of the road

      
Braided synthetic rope
is one of my most often used and efficient materials. It is easier to untie and usually does not become so tightly knotted as to be impossible to untie. It is also less inclined to tangle or fray. Most braid is Dacron or similar synthetic. You can heat the ends so they don't fray. A downside, (depending on how you look at it), is that this rope does not always hold a knot well and you need to know which knots will work and which will or will not come untied on their own, even under strain. Braided line, like 3-strand twist, will usually soften with use and over time, but some cheaper brands may stiffen up. To soften rope, soak it for 24 hours in ordinary hair rinse.

      
Conventional three strand twist rope
. Use 1/4 or 3/8 inch diameter. This is useful, but will quickly unravel unless you heat melt the ends. Some cheaper types are flimsy and unsuitable for bondage. For exotic body binding, this rope may knot too tightly. Test it before you wrap yourself up in 200 feet of twisted nylon rope. Twist comes in cotton, Dacron or similar material. It can be easily spliced to make permanent loops at the end and, after some use, will soften or harden, depending on how it is cared for. Long exposure to sunlight will dry and harden it.

      
Cloth, cut or torn into strips
: I have experimented with other media, such as strips of cloth, which, as restraint material, can be very effective, but at times almost impossible to untie and must be cut to obtain release. One way this material seems to get into the mix is if the fantasy you are applying includes being abducted and stripped, then bound with parts of your own clothing. For some, this can be a highly erotic sequence and tearing up your clothes and tying yourself may be an orgasmic experience.