Secrets On Lake Drive (15 page)

However, something tells me it’s too late
for that.

Chapter 16 –
Bonding

I returned home a couple of days later.
Roman was excited to see me, and so were Victoria, Nikki, Warren,
and Derrick. They all greeted me when I was finally released from
the hospital. I felt like I was having a homecoming party right
there in the living room. It was nice to see them. They felt like a
family to me and they all cared about me. That’s one thing I’ve
come to learn about the Beauvais family. They were tight, and if
they accepted you as a friend into their mold, then you instantly
became family.

Sean carried me up the stairs to my room
later on that night and sat me on the bed.

“I could’ve walked up the stairs by myself,
you know. It’ll take me a little longer to get up here, but I could
do it.”

“I know you can do it. I just wanted to
help.” Sean sat on the bed with me. “Monica,” he said lightly.

“Yeah?”

“What’s this I hear about you trying to
leave?”

Nikki must have shared my feelings with him,
the things I told her on the day of the picnic before I went into
the hospital. And it must have been on Sean’s mind all that time
until he found the perfect opportunity to bring it up.

“I just don’t think it’s a good fit that I’m
here,” I told him. “I thought a lot about what you said and I don’t
want to hurt Roman. So, I thought it would be best if I just
go.”

“I don’t want you to leave. I need you here.
Roman needs you. I know we have our disagreements, but we’re not
always fighting, are we?”

“Well…no.”

Sean sat there with a look of gloom on his
face and his head angled down towards the floor. Out of the blue,
he said, “It’s so hard to be vulnerable when you love someone, but
you have to be, right?”

I wanted to say,
come again?
I
thought we were talking about me…and staying at the house…and Roman
needing me. Then, somehow, the conversation shifted over to being
vulnerable and in love. So I just went with it.

“Ah…yeah. You have to surrender yourself to
love, as scary as that sounds. Where is this coming from
anyway?”

“It was just on my mind, that’s all.”

I rested my head on his shoulder. A sister
was tired, and since he was there, I might as well have made good
use of him.

I took a deep breath. Boy was I glad to be
home and out of the hospital. Hospitals always seemed to make me
feel sicker than what I was, and I sure didn’t need any added
sicknesses in my life. I have enough problems as it is.

I WOKE UP in my bed the next morning. The last thing
I remembered was going to sleep on Sean’s shoulder. I don’t even
remember taking off my clothes, but I must have because I woke up
in my bra and panties. I put on my robe and slowly crept downstairs
to give Roman his cereal. The phone rang as I poured the milk, and
I already knew who it was.

“Hey, Sean.”

“What’s up, sleepy head?”

I laughed.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah…as well as I could. I just got up
maybe ten minutes ago…and just gave Roman some cereal.”

“Okay. Just try to chill today. Sit back,
relax, and take it easy.”

“I was thinking about maybe walking down by
the lake in a little while to let Roman get some fresh air. I don’t
want him to be cooped up in the house all day.”

“No. You don’t need to do that. It’s too
risky right now. You might hurt yourself.”

“I feel okay. Besides, I don’t want to be
shut up in this house all day either.”

“Yeah…I wanna go pway,” Roman said with a
mouth full of cereal, loud enough that Sean could hear him.

“Monica, tell Roman that I will take him out
when I get home. I don’t want you to do anything. I’m afraid you’re
going to push yourself too hard and hurt something.”

“But I’m telling you that I’m fine.”

Sean snapped. “How can you be fine when you
just got out of the hospital?”

I left Roman in the kitchen and went into the family
room to continue my conversation turned argument with Sean.

“Why are you yelling me?”

“Because you’re not listening to me. I don’t
want you to hurt yourself, Monica. If something happens, I’m not
there this time. I’m stuck at work. So just chill, ah’ight?”

Sean really pissed me off. I felt like he
was trying to run my life.

“Why are you always giving me orders?” I said,
feeling a migraine coming on. “You can’t tell me what to do!”

“Gee, and I call myself trying to look out
for you.”

“I don’t need you to look out for me. I’m a
grown woman.”

“Yeah…a grown woman that just got out of the
hospital! Am I the only one who heard what Dr. Morgan said? He said
no physical activity, Monica! Your body needs four to six weeks to
heal.”

“I can’t believe this. Is there anything
else you want me to do while I’m taking orders from you? Maybe I
should stay in bed for the rest of the year. Or maybe I should just
lie around pretending that I’m dead. You would like that, wouldn’t
you?”

Sean slammed the phone down and all I heard
was dial tone. I knew he was angry. I could feel his blood pressure
rising over the phone. I was going to be in trouble when he got
home.

Eight o’clock rolled around and there was no
sign of Sean. He probably went to the bar to have a drink. After
our little shouting match, I could use one myself. Anyway, I wasn’t
going to dwell on it. I put Roman to bed and then I did the
same.

A few minutes later, I heard Sean coming up
the stairs. He walked into his room and shut the door. I knew he
was going to take a shower. He usually took showers every morning
and night, though his showers at night were shorter than those long
morning showers. I could hear his shower running for a few minutes
and I must have dozed off after that. I woke up when I felt someone
playing with my hair. I opened my eyes to Sean’s eyes beaming down
on me as if he was trying to read my mind. Then he smiled.

Bending over, he whispered lightly in my
ear, “You know, you are at a disadvantage when you sleep.”

“What?” I didn’t know if I was dreaming or
what. I blinked my eyes trying to get a clear focus on him, and my,
my, my. I wasn’t dreaming. Sean was on his knees beside my bed,
wearing only a towel around his waist.

“You’re at a disadvantage when you sleep,”
he repeated. “You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you can’t see how beautiful you
are, but I can. I can see the relaxation in your face, your hair
flying all over the place, and your chest moving up and down in its
own involuntary rhythms. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.
Everything about you is beautiful.”

His flattering remarks left me speechless.
Sean was spitting so much game, it was overwhelming.

“Can I ask you something, Monica?” Sean
said, while continuously stroking my hair.

“Yeah.”

“Why do I get yelled at for caring about
you? Is that what you want? Do you want me to not care at all?” He
wasn’t mad when he asked me. He was mild and caring.

“No, that’s not what I want, Sean. I’m sorry I
yelled at you earlier. You were right. I was wrong.”

I went ahead and apologized to
him. I wasn’t up for fussing tonight. I would have apologized a
thousand times over if it would save me from an argument. And since
he seemed to be in a rather relaxed state of mind, I used it to my
advantage.

“Can you slide over a lil’ bit?” Sean asked.
When I slid over, he laid down beside me. “I’m sorry, too, Monica.
I guess since you’re living in my house, I feel close to you. I
mean, I feel like I’m supposed to be there for you. I worry
sometimes. I don’t want anything to happen to you, and when I saw
you playing ball with the boys that day and you fell and didn’t get
up, it felt like my heart stopped beating and everything was moving
in slow motion. I never want to feel that way again.”

I smiled at him. “So you really do care
about me, don’t you?” I teased him.

“Yeah. I do. How do you feel right now?”

“I’m a little sore, but I’ll live.”

“Did you take some pain medication?”

“Yeah, I took one about an hour ago.”

“Okay. You need some water, juice, or
something?”

“No, I’m fine, Sean.”

“Then why do you look so sad?”

“I’m not sad, just tired. I was asleep
before you came in here, remember? You woke me up.”

“Oh, so this is your sleepy face, huh?”

“I guess you can say that.”

“It’s beautiful, too.”

“You are too much.” I smiled again.

“So do you need anything before I
leave?”

“No, I’m good.”

“And you feel okay?”

“Yes, daddy,” I said just to tease him.

“Ooh. Say that again.”

“Whatever. You better get out of here.” I
laughed and gently pushed him away from me.

“Ah’ight. As long as you feel okay…that’s
all that matters to me.” Sean stood up beside the bed.

“You know, it’s not good for you to worry
about me this much,” I told him.

“Why is that?”

“Because that means you have feelings for me that
are far beyond that of a employer–employee relationship.”

“Maybe I do,” Sean said, then kissed me on the lips
the same way he kissed me in the hospital. It was just a simple,
sweet kiss. “Goodnight, Monica. If you need me, I’ll be right
across the hall, okay?”

“Okay. Goodnight, Sean.”

Entry 5

I haven’t written in this journal in a
while. I’m almost thinking that I don’t even need it anymore. All I
think about now is Sean and his family. They were all there for me
when I got out of the hospital, and Sean even stayed with me in the
hospital. If I didn’t know any better, I would say that he loved
me. If he didn’t, why would he have stayed, and why would he have
flipped out on me like he did today when I told him that I was
thinking about going out for a while? Maybe I’m just mistaking his
charm for actual love. Maybe he tries to be there for me out of
pity because he knows my family is not close like his family. Or
maybe the man loves me. He did kiss me; just barely. I don’t know
what to make of it yet. All I know is that I haven’t thought about
Cornelius for the past few days. Now I’m starting to wonder if
that’s a good or bad thing.

- - -

A week later, I was feeling better and
recovering faster than the doctors had originally thought. I was
still under doctor’s orders to limit physical activity, and Sean
wouldn’t let me leave the house unless he was with me.

I was stretched out on the couch in the
family room when Sean called. Roman was sitting on the floor
playing with his toy trucks.

“Hello.”

“Hey you. How you feel?”

“I’m fine. I can’t complain.”

“Do you have any plans for today?”

“No, not really. Why? What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch
with me. You can bring Roman and we could go to the park across the
street. Just thought maybe you wanted to get out and get some fresh
air.”

“That sounds great! I’ll pack a lunch for us
and bring it with me.”

I was excited to finally leave the house. I
knew Sean could hear the excitement in my voice.

“Nooo, don’t worry about that. I don’t want
you to tire yourself out. I can have lunch delivered.”

“I’m sure you can, Oh Great One,” I said
sarcastically, “but I can pack one. It’ll be more intimate.”

“Okay. Whatever makes you happy.”

“So what time should we meet you?”

“About noon. Just come to my office.”

“Okay. We’ll see you in a lil’ bit.”

“Ah’ight. See you soon, sweetie.”

I packed a lunch as fast as I could, which
consisted of three club sandwiches, a big bag of plain potato
chips, a pitcher of sweet tea with lemons, some cookies, and mixed
fruit. I also packed some napkins, plates, spoons, and cups. It
took me a little over an hour to get everything together. Then
Roman and I were off.

I pulled up in front of the office, then
went walking inside with Roman. When we stepped into the lobby, I
called Sean from my cell.

“Sean, we’re here.”

“I know. I could see you walking in from my
office.”

“Are you coming down?”

“Why don’t you come up for a minute? Roman
has never seen my office before.”

“Okay. Where you at?”

“Just take the elevator to the fourth floor,
make a right, and I’m the last office on the left.”

“Okay. See you in a minute.”

I went up to the fourth floor, made a right
like Sean told me, and tapped on the office door that was partially
opened.

“Hi,” I said, while Roman darted in the room
to give his father a hug.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, son. You like my office?”

“Yes.”

“Go over to the window and take a look.”

Roman ran over to the window. “Cool. Mommy,
come wook.”

I went over to look out the window with
Roman. “That’s a nice view of the lake you have.”

“Yeah, it is, isn’t it?”

I turned my attention back to Sean. “I got
lunch.”

“Cool. So I guess we’re ready. Come on,
son.”

After we walked over to the park across the
street, I spread a thick blanket on the healthy blades of grass and
we all sat down to eat. I bit into my sandwich and looked at Sean
and smiled.

“What?” Sean asked.

“Nothing.”

“Why are you smiling?”

“Just never pictured you sitting on the
ground, especially with a suit on.”

“What? You think I’m too good to sit on the
ground?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Yeah, but that’s what you wanted to say,
right?”

“It’s just that you seem too high-class for
this kinda thing. And that suit must’ve set you back at least a
thousand dollars.”

“Two thousand, but don’t let the suits fool
you. I’m a real cool brotha. You just don’t know me well enough
yet.” Sean took another bite of his sandwich. “This is really good,
by the way.”