Secrets & Surrender 2 (11 page)

“What?” I snapped at the two guys who were in there with me. I was tired of their gawking.

I caught my reflection on the elevator door. I was a mess. Most of my hair was falling down, having come loose from the rhinestone bobby pins. I tugged at the high collar of the dress. Carla’s dress just had to be yellow. I looked like a giant marshmallow Peep.

“Nothing,” one of them mumbled. When the doors finally opened, they scurried away.

“Morons.” I walked out and headed to Nic’s door. Just as I was about to knock, Steve stepped out into the hallway.

“Hey, Mandi, that’s some party dress. It’s all kinds of fun.” He looked at me appreciatively.

“It’s a costume, Steve.”

“If you’re looking for Nic, he left a few minutes ago. Did you two break up or something? He looked awful. Since we’re friends, I’ll give you forty-eight hours before I pounce on him and convince him to play on my team.’’

“Knock it off, Steve. It’s not funny. Do you know where he went?”

Steve’s eyes widened. “Whoa! You two really did break up. I was just messing with you. I didn’t think you two would really break up. Nic is mad crazy for you. He—oh!” He looked up and down the hall, and then leaned in and whispered, “You’re playing on another team, aren’t you? I always thought you did.”

“Ugh, Steve!” I shoved him. “It’s not that. We just had a misunderstanding. Are you going to help me find him or what?”

“Chill, chica. He said something about going to Five Mile Dam. I told him not to. It’s supposed to rain tonight.”

“What are you, the weatherman?”

“Honey, have you seen the weatherman on channel two?” He waggled his eyebrows. “In the words of my grandfather, the original Steve, ‘hubba, hubba.’”

I laughed. Leave it to Steve to make me laugh at a time like this. “Really? The weatherman? You’re getting into seriously desperate territory here.”

“I wouldn’t be so desperate if you gave me that dress and dumped Nic. I’ll go to Five Mile Dam for you.”

“Steve!”

“I kid. I kid. Come on. I’ll drive you there.”

The mist was thick along the riverbank at Five Mile Damn. It was hard to see anything until we drove through the arch separating the road from the entrance. When we rolled into the graveled parking lot, my heart dropped. Nic’s car was nowhere in sight. My head throbbed. Frustrated, I yanked my bobby pins out of my hair. I gazed down at the glittering red of the rhinestones, remembering how lovingly Nic had pulled out each one that night so long ago. It had been the first time we’d made love, the night he told me he loved me.

Tossing the pins into the cup holder, I threw the car door open before Steve stopped completely. I knew exactly where Nic was.

Steve latched onto my arm, his brow furrowed with worry. “He’s not here, Mandi.”

“I know where he is.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No. I need to talk to him alone. I’ll be alright.”

I rushed through the vast emptiness of the white mist, searching for Nic. I shivered as the wind picked up, causing my dress to flutter as I ran.

“Nic!” I couldn’t see anything. He had to be here. He just had to be. I ran faster, calling out his name until my voice grew hoarse. Sobbing, I gasped for air, nearly hysterical that I’d I lost the one person who meant the most to me in the world. Each breath was a well-deserved stab in my chest. Finally, I stopped. I couldn’t take the pain anymore. It was no use. He wasn’t here.

A light drizzle fell onto my cheeks, mixing with my tears. Just as I was about to turn and find my way back to Steve, the mist dissipated. My breath hitched at the sight of Nic, long and lean, drizzle glittering on his dark hair like diamonds. He stared off into the river as if lost in a memory. My eyes drifted down to a red object in his hand—my lost rhinestone bobby pin.

“I hope you don’t mind that I kept this.” His voice was soft.

“I was wondering where it went.”

“I kept it to remember that night. It was the closest I’ve ever felt to you. And I didn’t know how long I’d have you.” His voice choked with emotion. “I wanted you with me...always.”

“Nic, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Please don’t. I know what you’re going to say.” Turning, hazel eyes gazed at me with a sad longing that quickly widened with surprise.

“Why are you dressed like that?”

“I know. I look awful. I look like a giant Easter egg. I didn’t have time to change and Carla was running late.”

I was rambling and he knew it. I swallowed thickly, wondering why I couldn’t just say it.

There was a flash of lightning, and like typical Texas weather, the sky opened up in a torrential downpour. Despite the heavy rain, I clearly saw that his eyes held nothing but love for me. Even in his goodbye, his eyes showed how much he loved me. They were the same eyes I’d been looking into since the first day we met. He’d never held anything back from me. He’d always told me the truth. He trusted me. He loved
me
. And all he ever wanted was for me to love him too.

Without another moment’s hesitation, the words spilled out.

“I love you!” I blurted. “Oh God. I said it. I really said it. I love you, Nic. I’ve always loved you. I tried not to love you. I was afraid to love you. Afraid that if I loved you and you found out about me, the real me, that I’d lose you. And I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting like that. So I shoved the feelings away. I smashed them all down into a little box in my heart and threw away the key. But it kept growing and growing...like...like fungus. And now I can’t think of anyone else but you. And then Julian...Julian came into my life.”

The rain lightened up enough for me to clearly see Nic’s face twist at the mention of Julian’s name.

“He was a distraction,” I explained quickly. “He was a way out. Because he would’ve been so easy to be with. He’s like me. He understands. At least, that’s what I had thought. But I was wrong! I was so, so wrong. I don’t care if he loves me or not. But you, Nic, the thought of losing you is too much. I think of losing you and I can’t breathe. I can’t see a life where you don’t exist.

“I know I’m probably too late. But you have to know. I had to tell you. I love you. I want to have everything with you. I want to marry you and have your babies.”

His face lit up, making him even more breathtakingly handsome.

Oh my God. I couldn’t believe I’d said that. Did I mean it? Yes, I did.

“I mean it, Nic. I want the white picket fence and little Marcellis running around. But not until after we graduate. And we can name them Nicholas, Nico, Nikki, and Nicole. And you have to promise to change their diapers—”

In two quick strides, he closed the distance between us. His fingers splayed my cheeks bringing my lips to his. My hands flew up to his neck, and I clung to him. His stubble rubbed against my chin as his lips ravished mine possessively.

When he pulled back, his lips curled into that lopsided grin of his. “So are you trying to say you love me?”

“Yes!” I laughed. My Nic was back! The rain finally stopped as I kissed his wet cheeks, his nose, his eyelids, saying, “yes,” in between kisses.

“Mandi.” He pulled me into his chest. “I thought I’d lost you. I thought you wanted to be with Julian.”

“It wasn’t Julian. It was what he represented. The real Julian is an asshole.”

“Other than trying to steal my woman, do you really think that? I mean, he’s done a lot to help people in the community.”

“God, Nic, that’s why I love you. You always see the good in people.” I kissed him deeply before I continued. “Yeah, he helps people, but he also believes that some people shouldn’t be with others.”

“What do you—oh.” He frowned. “You mean like my father.”

And your mother.

“Yeah. Man, I hate that Juan looks up to Julian. He even told Julian about...” I paused, taking a step back. This was it. This was my chance to show Nic how much I trusted him and how much I really and truly loved him.

“What is it?”

“There’s something I need to tell you about my family. The only person outside of family who knows is Cassie, and of course, Julian because stupid Juan told him.”

“Okay. Tell me.”

“I’m afraid.”

“There’s nothing you can say that would change how I feel about you or your family.”

I gazed into warm eyes, studying him as I told him my family’s secret. The words fell out of my mouth slowly as I carefully explained what I had held so close to my chest, why I’d kept him at a distance for so long. I was finally doing it. I surrendered myself, my heart, my very soul to him. After the last words were spoken, I waited for his reaction with baited breath.

As light filtered through the parting clouds, he tightened his hold. Ducking his head, he pressed his damp forehead against mine. His breath hit against my lips as he whispered the words that finally set my heart free.

“Te amo, Mandi. You are my sun, my life. Nothing can ever change that. Nothing.”

“O
h, Cassie. You look so pretty,” I breathed as I walked into the room.

Cassie stared at her reflection in the floor length mirror. Her brown eyes were big and sparkling with life, and her face glowed with excitement. Dispensing with the traditional white gown and lavish wedding, she chose something simple. I was upset at first when she told me her decision. I wanted to go all out. After all, this was her big day. She was a vision in the delicate cream dress that fell to just above her ankles.

“Really?”

“Please, girl. Cody is gonna pass out cold when he sees you walking down the aisle if he hasn’t already. I peeked into his dressing room. You do realize you’re about to marry a green man, don’t you? Poor guy. He looks like he’s about to puke. Don’t worry, though. I told Nic to watch him and make sure he doesn’t bolt. We borrowed Willa Mae’s shotgun just in case.”

I placed the bouquet of flowers on the side table and helped her with her hair. I couldn’t believe she was getting married. It seemed like it was only yesterday that Nic and I had visited with Cassie and Cody over spring break. That’s when I’d first met Willa Mae, Cassie’s next-door neighbor. I connected with her instantly. She may have been like a bazillion years old, but she didn’t take crap from anyone. The woman totally rocked! She wasn’t afraid of anything. She even showed me the shotgun she had in her closet and whispered to me that she had used it plenty of times over the years. I had no doubt about that, but I was more afraid of the cane she used to get around. Seriously, that cane should’ve been considered a deadly weapon. She didn’t hesitate to whack me with it when I elbowed her out of the way so I could hold Cassie’s baby.

Yep, that’s right, as I had predicted, John Dale, affectionately called little J.D., popped out early just for me. So I had to hold him first after Cody and Cassie, of course.

Nic was elated when he was asked to be little J.D.’s godfather. For weeks, the man walked around doing a very bad Marlon Brando impression from
The Godfather
. Just when I thought he’d finally stopped, he started it up again the moment we arrived for Cassie and Cody’s wedding. Willa Mae promised to threaten him with the shotgun if he didn’t knock it off.

Humming, I worked my magic on Cassie’s hair. I had Nic. Cassie had Cody and their baby. Life couldn’t be more perfect.

“You’re happy,” Cassie said.

“You bet. My home fry is marrying the second most awesome guy I know, and Willa Mae promised to make me my own maid of honor cake.”

She laughed. “One cake isn’t enough for you?”

“Have you met me? I’ve been dreaming about having her bake a cake for me since the day you and Cody set the wedding date.”

“So does Cody really look nervous?”

“Just a little. Don’t worry. Nic will distract him. He brought his guitar and they’re jamming.”

Sighing, her face fell for a moment.

“What’s that look?” I asked.

“I can’t believe we made it.”

“Of course you and Cody made it. The man loves you like crazy.”

“I know he does. We’ve been through so much, and he’s still here and wants to marry me.”

I was quiet for a moment, thinking about all that Cassie and Cody had been through during the past year. I was so busy with college and my own drama with Nic that I hadn’t even known about the attack until spring break. Man, if I’d known, I would’ve dropped everything, hunted Seth and Dillon Baker down, and left them with one less ball—each.

Though she didn’t tell me what had happened to her for a long time, I still felt awful that I hadn’t been there for her when she needed me the most.

“I had no doubt you two would make it. And by the way, I’m still mad at you for keeping it a secret from me. Don’t ever do that again.” I waggled a finger at her.

She gave me a sad smile. “I won’t.”

“I still can’t believe Cody’s uncle is running against Sheriff Baker in the elections. Man, I hope his uncle wins. It’ll show those damn Bakers that they can’t run over everyone in this town.”

“Me too. Cody’s so proud of him.”

“I can’t believe Sheriff Baker thinks he can win having two sons in jail. Seriously, I hope Seth and Dillon rot in there. Maybe we’ll get lucky and someone named Biff will stake a claim on their sorry asses. Would serve them right.”

“Let’s not talk about them. They’re not worth a millisecond of our time,” she said. “What I really want to know is about you and Nic. You two seem much happier than when I saw you last spring.”

“We’re good.” I grinned. In fact, we were more than good. We were perfect. Ever since I’d told Nic our family’s secret, it was like a weight had been lifted. There were no more doubts and I had nothing but love for him, which I told him on a daily basis.

“So you told him?” Her eyes met mine in the mirror.

“Yeah.”

“And...”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Mandi, you are not an idiot. You were just making sure your family was safe. I get that. I’m sure he does too.”

“Yeah, he does. But I still think I’m a chicken shit for not telling him about my family in the first place. All that wasted time. I could’ve told him about it a long time ago.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It just took you some time to see how much Nic loves you and would never hurt you.”