Seduce (14 page)

He walked right in without waiting for an invitation. I followed him over to the sofa, sitting in the armchair opposite. I waited for him to speak. He was pissed, but more than that, he was hurt.

This was everything I wanted to avoid.

“Belle told me she’s in love with you,” he said calmly. My ears pricked up. This was news to me. She loved me? Wow. Luke scowled at me.

“Get that fucking grin off your face, Falcon. What the hell are you playing at here? Of all the women you can have, why
her
?”

“Because she’s the only woman—”

“Girl,” Luke interrupted patronizingly.

“Fuck Luke, she’s eighteen! She’s not a girl, she’s a woman.” I yelled. “She’s the only woman who has ever made me feel anything other than a hard-on. I know what you think, but it’s not like that. How long have you known me? Have you ever seen me with the same woman for longer than a day?”

“How long have you been seeing each other? Since that dinner at our house last month?”

“Before that. Honestly, I had no idea of her age,
or
that she was Sally’s sister in the beginning.” Luke looked semi-convinced, like I almost had him. I tried again. “What can I do to make you see this is not just me being me?”

“Um, stay away from her?” he said sarcastically.

I shook my head. “I don’t know if I can do that. She’s eighteen man, she’s an adult who can make her own decisions,” I said. Luke’s jaw clenched as I spoke. He knew I was right.

“I didn’t tell her parents,” he said quietly.

“You didn’t?” I said, surprised. “Why?”

“Because Belle begged me not to.” He cursed, running his hand through his hair. “Fuck, Jack, I don’t know what to do here.” He turned to me. “Her father would kill you. You know that, right? No matter how old Belle is, he will rip your fucking head off.”

“I know.”

“Then why?” he asked. “Why not just go back to the casual sleeping around? The Jack we all know and love.”

I sighed. “Do you know why I did that, Luke? All the sleeping around? Because I hate my life. The drinking, the sex—it wasn’t because I liked it, it was because that’s all there was for me. Then I met Belle.” We sat there, neither of us saying anything for what felt like hours. In reality, it was about four minutes before I stood up, unable to take it any longer. I paced the length of the living room, my hands shoved in my pockets.

“Look, my life growing up was a mess. That’s no excuse for how I’ve treated women in the past, but I promise you, Belle is different. She is amazing, funny, smart, and she
gets
me. She understands me like nobody I’ve ever met.” I shook my head, not sure of what else I could say.

“You better not hurt her,” Luke muttered.

“What?” I asked, positive I heard him wrong.

“You said yourself you’re going to see her anyway. If you hurt her, I’ll fucking kill you myself. Right before Sally rips my balls off,” he said.

“I’m not going to hurt her, Luke.” I said quietly.

“I mean it, Jack. Belle’s been through some shit, but she’s a good kid.” I winced at the term. We didn’t see her the same way. I saw her as a mature, stunning young woman. To her family, all she would ever be is this struggling kid trying to get back on her feet.

***

I didn’t call Belle right away. Even though we had Luke’s silence, I felt like I needed space. Luke’s words had hit a nerve, more than I wanted to admit. I wasn’t planning on hurting her, but what if I did? How much could I really have changed? Things were great now, but who knew where we’d be six months down the track, or even a year? I had twenty-five years of being me running against me.

She was in love with me. And I was probably in love with her, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered to me was whether there was even the slightest risk that I would end up hurting her. If there was, then I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t turn this amazingly beautiful girl into the bitter, heartless person I had become.

Turning my phone off, I grabbed the bottle of scotch and went out onto the balcony. I unscrewed the lid and lifted the bottle to my lips, tilting it until the harsh liquid began seeping down my throat. I leaned against the balcony wall and looked out over the city. The sun was beginning to settle, winding down yet another Sunday afternoon in London.

As I took another mouthful, I laughed. Maybe I was looking at this all wrong. Maybe my brain was trying to stop me from making a big mistake. Maybe I just wasn’t wired to handle relationships. With each swig of scotch it became easier to convince myself that I couldn’t change who I was.

I stumbled inside, unsteady on my feet, the empty bottle in my hand falling to the ground. I fell onto the sofa facedown. I didn’t even have the energy to roll over.

***

“Jack!”

My eyes flew open. It took me a moment to realize were I was, the view of the living room unfamiliar from my position on the couch. The rapping on the door continued until I heaved myself up and over to the door. Swinging it open, I saw Belle standing there, looking concerned.

“I’ve been calling and texting,” she said, walking in. “I was worried. Did you not go to work today?”

“Work?” I repeated, confused.

“Did you drink all of that?” Belle demanded, pointing to the empty bottle beside the sofa. I shrugged. What business of it was hers?

“Jack!”

“Look, I’m sorry. Forgive me if I wasn’t feeling all that great tonight.” I muttered. My head was screaming at me. I wandered into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. Belle handed me two painkillers. “Thanks,” I mumbled.

“Its six o’clock Monday evening.”

My head shot up so quickly I think I caused whiplash. “What? No, I…” My voice trailed off as Belle nodded. I walked over to the sofa. Sitting down, I turned my phone on. Twenty-one missed calls, eight from Belle, ten from Carly, and three from my father.

Shit. Shit fucking shit.

“How long were you out?” she asked softly.

I shrugged. “About twenty-four hours,” I muttered. I called Carly.

“Where the hell have you been? Your father is ready to murder you,” Carly screeched when she answered.

“Sorry, I was sick,” I lied, ignoring Belle’s eye roll. “I’ll call Dad now.” I hung up and dialed Dad’s number. I nearly cheered when it went to his answering service.

“Hi, sorry I was sick today. Didn’t even wake up until half an hour ago. I’ll call you later.” I threw the phone over to the coffee table. Belle stood awkwardly in front of me.

“Are you okay, Jack? I thought Luke spoke to you. He said he’s not going to say anything about us.” She sat down next to me, her hand creeping under mine.

“He spoke to me,” I said quietly. “I just don’t know. I don’t want to end up hurting you, and I’m afraid that I’m going to,” I said, surprised by my own honesty.

“Why would you think that?” She moved herself onto my lap and began gently stroking my hair. My hands moved up her thighs, gently resting on her ass. As she leaned down to kiss me, I didn’t protest. I let her take control.

She lifted her top over her head, her porcelain skin looking even whiter against her black, lacy bra. I reached for the button on the front of her jeans, unfastening it and lowering the zip. She stood up and wiggled out of them and the black lacy underwear that matched her bra. No matter how many times I saw her, I couldn’t seem to get through my head how fucking gorgeous she was. Every time, her beauty stunned me.

She repositioned herself on top of me, kissing me as my fingers traced the inside of her thigh. Her lips pressed against mine, her tongue slipping around mine. She groaned as I dipped my finger inside her moist pussy. My cock grew harder as I watched her ride my finger. I reached down and freed myself from the constraints of my boxer shorts. Her hands wrapped around the base of my dick as she guided it inside of herself.

I gasped as I pushed myself inside her tight cocoon, my hips thrusting upward. She stretched backward, her hands gripping onto her calves as I ran my hand along the length of her body. She whimpered as I pushed in, then out of her repeatedly, each thrust bringing more force and urgency than the last.

“Fuck me, Jack. There is no better feeling than your cock sliding inside of me,” she breathed. I closed my eyes, the pressure building in my dick. I was about to come, and—as always with Belle—it was going to be epic. I groaned as I came, pulling out and wrapping my arms around her. She laughed as I pulled her back onto the sofa so she was on top of me.

“You always make me come so hard,” I muttered, my fingers tracing the outline of her nipple. It grew hard at my touch. I resisted the urge to suck it. “I’m glad you’re here.”

She adjusted her arm so she was looking at me, her dark hair hung around her face. “I love being with you, Jack. When I’m not with you, you’re all that I think about.” She moved her lips onto mine. I kissed her back, trying desperately to ignore the anxiety that was pooling in my stomach. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get the idea of hurting her out of my head. No matter how pure my intentions were, it would happen. I was falling hard for this girl, but I knew her being with me would break her.

“You’re all I think about too, Belle,” I answered honestly. She shifted, as if she knew something was on my mind.

“What is it?”

“Nothing. I’m just tired,” I said, not sure what else there was to say. She eyed me as if she didn’t believe me, but didn’t pressure me to answer her.

“Okay.” She nodded. “Listen, I have my final exams next week, so I need to stay away from you this week. With you around, I won’t study,” she giggled. I made a face at her, hoping the relief of what she’d just said didn’t show on my face. I needed this: a few days to sort out exactly what I wanted. I had a decision to make.

Did I put myself first and risk hurting her?

Chapter Seventeen

Three days later, and it was clear that I just didn’t function without her. I couldn’t think and I didn’t eat.  I was like a walking zombie. A zombie that consumed way too much alcohol. Carly was noticing my decline in work, and though she had tried tactfully to mention it, I had snapped her head off. And to top all that off, I knew in the back of my mind if Carly was noticing, it wouldn’t be long until Dad noticed too.

I left work early. Well, technically it was after five, but that was early for me. Where I was going I didn’t know, but going home would only result in me drinking myself to sleep. As I drove past Levine’s, I saw her shitbox. I had no idea what I was doing, but the next thing I knew I was in the parking lot, getting out of my car.

Belle grinned when she saw me, her green eyes sparkling like a diamond in the sunlight. She walked over to the booth I’d sat down in, and handed me a menu.

“I didn’t expect to see you.” She smiled playfully.

“I’ve gone three days without you and I’m already going insane,” I said dryly. I handed her back the menu. I didn’t need it. I wasn’t planning on eating, I’d just come for the view. She raised her eyebrow as she took the laminated sheet from me.

“Not hungry?” she asked, tilting her head. Her hair was up today in a messy bun. It suited her, but then again, anything would look good on her.

“Not for food,” I muttered, half under my breath but loud enough for her to hear. She laughed and glanced over her shoulder.

“I’ll get you a coffee and some pie,” she said, winking at me. I nodded, and watched her walk away. Fuck. I couldn’t understand why I felt like shit. This girl got to me like nobody in the world ever had. I couldn’t  walk away from that, but how could I not trust myself not to hurt her? Was I that fucked up that I’d sabotage the best thing in my life? Probably.

Belle walked back over, carrying my coffee and a slice of apple pie.

“It’s not the best pie, but it’s edible,” she whispered softly, her smile reaching my heart. I laughed at her endorsement. Her talents were wasted here; with those skills, she should have been working in marketing. I eased my fork into the soggy pie crust and lifted the contents to my mouth. Well, she was right. It certainly wasn’t going to break any pie-making records anytime soon.

“How are your studies going?” I asked, spooning the stale pie into my mouth and washing it down with a gulp of coffee.

“Okay. I find it hard to concentrate though,” she admitted, biting her lip in an attempt to hide her smile. But her eyes gave her away.

“Why is that?” I smirked. I had a pretty good idea of why. I’d put money on it being the same reason as to why I couldn’t concentrate at work. The same reason I was here now.

“Because I hate not seeing you.” She poked her tongue out at me, her hands stretched out across the counter opposite me.

“If it makes you feel any better, things at work suck. Every time I try to work, you invade my thoughts.” I chuckled. Her eyes sparkled as she smiled.

“Thanks,” she laughed. I rolled my eyes. She knew what I meant. “So coming here, I’m guessing that was just to see me?” she said shyly.

I made a face. “Well I certainly didn’t come for the pie,” I joked, pushing the plate away from me, the slice only half-eaten. She laughed loudly, her whole face engaged.

Fuck, she was so beautiful. I’d had beautiful women before. In fact, every woman I’d been with was beautiful, but Belle had a different kind of beauty. She made me think about things in a new way. Could I really give all that freedom up for her? And did I even want to? I wasn’t happy sleeping with woman after woman, but I was so fucking scared of letting someone inside my heart that it would almost be easier ending this now.

“I’m nearly finished,” Belle commented. She was thinking something, but I wasn’t exactly sure what.

“Okay,” I said, waiting for her to elaborate.

“Maybe I can stop past for a quick drink?” she asked. Her eyes suggested she wanted so much more than a drink, and thank fuck for that. If she came over I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off her.

“That sounds good,” I smiled. “Come over when you’re ready. You know where I live,” I chuckled. I stood up and threw down a twenty. “Keep the change. I always tip the hot waitresses,” I said, winking. I smiled, listening to her laughter as I walked out.