Seduce (17 page)

“Sorry, Lisbeth, I can’t do this.” I grabbed my things and left. “I love my girlfriend too much to fuck her over.”

***

Pick up, dammit.
I cursed, smashing my hand against the wall. Mr. Jefferies glanced at me and ran out of the room.

Smart move, cat. I’m a bad guy to be around. All I will do is drag you down.

“Hello?”

“Alex,” I said, sighing with relief.

“Jack? Are you okay?” Alex asked, concerned. “Have you been drinking?” I slumped onto the sofa, the phone spilling from my hands. I retrieved it to hear Alex yelling my name.

“Sorry, I dropped the phone. It’s all fucked. I fucked everything.” I growled, pissed off at myself for letting things get so out of hand.

“Jack, calm down. Please calm down. Talk to me, what’s going on?” he spoke softly, like he was trying to slow down my thinking. I sighed and took a breath.

“Belle. I almost cheated on her. Dad had me taking out the daughter of someone he’s trying to close a deal with. He didn’t want a scandal so I got her really drunk so she’d flash her breasts at the cameras,” I mumbled.

Alex snorted. “Well I hope that makes the back pages. Fuck Dad, Jack. He’s an asshole and nothing you do will ever be good enough for him.”

“It gets worse. I don’t give a shit about Dad. I’m over that. All I care about is Belle.”

“What happened?”

“I got too drunk and ended up back at Lisbeth’s hotel room. She had her hands on my cock before I stopped it.”

“You stopped it?” Alex asked, surprised.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter. She will never forgive me. I will never forgive myself,” I muttered.

“Jack, a couple of months ago you would never have stopped. You’d have slept with her without a second thought. Now, your feelings for Belle stopped you before you did something
really
stupid. That’s a huge thing,” Alex pointed out.

“Sure, tell that to my girlfriend,” I muttered. I knew what he was trying to say, but it didn’t matter. It was useless. I’d lost her. I was sure of it. “Look, I gotta go,” I sighed.

“Jack, don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

I hung up without responding. I was the king of stupid.

***

I woke up in the afternoon with the world’s worst hangover.

All of my actions from the following night came flooding back to me. Well, what I actually remembered, anyway. The stench of scotch and sweat filled my nostrils, almost making me gag. Stumbling out of bed, I made my way to the bathroom.

The spray of the water from the showerhead stung my skin like a thousand bees ramming their stingers into my face. I felt like shit—exactly how I deserved to be feeling. I stayed under the hot water until my skin began to shrivel.

After I had dressed, I poured myself a coffee and slumped onto the sofa, where I wasn’t planning on moving from for the rest of the day. I turned on the television, desperate to keep my mind off the last twenty-four hours. Mr. Jefferies curled up next to me, oblivious to my mood. I should’ve been at work, but actually going in never even occurred to me. As far as I was concerned I no longer had a job.

“Jack, it’s Belle.”

I jumped at the pounding on the door. Eventually, I stood up and walked over to let her in. She was the last person I wanted to see because all I felt when I thought about her was guilt. She hugged me and closed the door, following me over to the sofa.

“You look like shit. How did your work dinner go?” she asked, kissing me. I forced myself to smile.

“Okay. Work is work, you know? I missed you,” I said honestly. She smiled and tucked herself under my arm.

“I missed you too. I’ve been thinking—I want to tell my parents about us.” She spoke confidently, as if she’d been thinking about this for a while. She had that much faith in us as a couple that she would risk the support of her family for me. And I had fucked her over.

 “Do you think that’s such a good idea?” was all I said.

She shrugged. “What is the alternative? I’m eighteen, the worst they can do is cut me out of their life,” she joked. The look on her face told me that was a real possibility.

“At least wait until your exams are over,” I said, reaching for her hand. “The last thing you need now is more distractions.” I would tell her about Lisbeth, but not until her exams were over. If she decided she couldn’t forgive me, then at least I wouldn’t have ruined her future.

She giggled and lifted herself onto me. “Yes, I suppose you’re a distraction enough.”

I smiled as she kissed me, her lips teasing me as her tongue circled around mine.

“Why aren’t you at work?” she asked suddenly.

“Because my father and I had a difference of opinion,” I said dryly. I moved my hands under her top, running them up her bare back. I breathed in. No bra again. She shivered against my touch, her lips curving into a smile.

“Why aren’t you at school?” I whispered, my hand moving down and under her skirt.

“Because it’s study week,” she giggled.

“And are you learning a lot?” I asked, sucking her earlobe. She laughed. Sitting up, she lifted her top over her head. I grabbed at her breasts, massaging them softly.

“I’m learning plenty,” she whispered softly. She leaned down, her hair falling in my face.

“Jack! Open this fucking door right now!”

Both Belle and I jumped. Shit. My father. My father was here and that meant he knew. Fuck.

“Go in the bedroom,” I whispered to her, yanking my top back down. I ran my hand through my hair, waiting until she was safely in the room before I opened the door.

He stormed in, looking as pissed off as I’d ever seen him. He thrust a paper toward me.

“What the fuck is this Jack? I ask you to entertain her and her breasts are over every newspaper with your hands all over them! Are you aware that they are both on their way back to Italy right now? If you wanted to fuck me over, you certainly did it!” he roared, thrusting the paper at me. I stared at the images of Lisbeth waving her arms wildly, topless with my hands over her nipples. The next picture showed me kissing her, my tongue clearly invading her mouth. I didn’t remember that moment. I felt sick as I stared at the pictures, but my anger towards my father took over.

“Isn’t that what you wanted? For me to do what I do best? Well, fucking women is what I do best, Father. Surely you expected this from your useless asshole of a son!” I yelled, following him out into the hallway.

“You know what, Jack? You and Alex are both nothing but disappointments to me. You’ve both caused me nothing but grief. As far as I’m concerned, I have no sons. I’m done with the both of you.”

His words came out quietly and full of spite, and all I could do was watch him walk away. This wasn’t anger talking, this was my father revealing his real feelings toward us both—feelings he’d harbored for a long time. I walked back inside my flat feeling deflated and angry.

“Jack?” Belle sat on the floor, the newspaper in her shaking hands, her expression hurt and angry. “Tell me this is a mistake,” she demanded.

I stood there helplessly. There was nothing I could say.

“Did you fuck her?” she asked, her voice raising.

“Belle, no—” I said, trying to explain.

“Did you kiss her, after this picture? Tell me what happened Jack, or I swear—” She stopped as I held up my hand.

“We kissed, she took off her dress, and she tried to suck my dick but I stopped her. Then I left. Are you happy?” I said flatly. She glared at me, her eyes full of tears.

“You’re making this out to be my fault?” she gasped. She got to her feet, sobs escaping from her throat. “I trusted you, Jack.”

“And I told you all I’d end up doing was hurt you,” I replied quietly.

“Did you do this on purpose? Are you trying to push me away?” she cried. “Because if you are, it’s sure as hell working!” She brushed past me and out the door. My biggest regret was that I did nothing to stop her.

I let her go.

Chapter Twenty

The pounding on my door became too loud to ignore. Someone couldn’t take a fucking hint. Another bottle of scotch, another night wasted. It was dark, but I had no idea what time it was—or even what day it was—and I didn’t care.

“I’m coming,” I muttered loudly, sitting up. I waited until the room stopped spinning before I gingerly got to my feet. I stumbled over to the door, unlocking the latch and swinging it open. Luke stood there, his hands shoved in his pockets, his face white.

Fucking hell. Had she gone running straight to him? Had she told him what an asshole I was? This was all stuff I knew already, and I sure as hell didn’t need to hear it from him.

“Luke, you’re wasting your breath. Go home,” I mumbled. Luke reached for my arm. Something in the way he touched me made my heart jump. I raised my eyes to meet his. He was crying, the tears running freely down his cheeks.

“Jack, it’s Belle. She’s dead.”

***

“She was driving around a corner, and she lost control of the wheel and hit a tree. The police said she was killed instantly.”

Luke stood next to me as I bent over the kitchen counter, my heart racing. I felt sick. And dizzy, like I was going to faint. This had to be a joke. Any minute I was going to wake up and the last few days would’ve been a dream. She couldn’t be gone. How the fuck was I supposed to live without her?

“When?” I asked, my voice hoarse.

“Yesterday afternoon. They’re not sure what time.” He hesitated. “She wasn’t found until ten o’clock last night,” he added softly. I let out a loud sob.

Yesterday afternoon.

That meant she must have been driving home from my house when she died.

If only I’d kept my dick in my pants, this never would’ve happened. I had been so focused on ruining things for my father that what was most important to me had slipped through my fingers.

She was gone, forever. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest and smashed against a brick wall. My throat constricted as I fought for air. Struggling to take a breath, Luke touched my back.

“Are you okay? Jack, I don’t even know what to say. I know I wasn’t supportive of you guys, but I could see how much she loved you,” he said. “And I know you loved her.”

I wiped the tears from my eyes. The pain I was feeling was nothing like I’d ever felt before. Right now, I just wanted to die. I lifted my head from my hands, but said nothing. Luke stood next to me awkwardly, not sure what he could say to make this better. I walked over to the window that overlooked the balcony and stared outside. The sky was overcast, and a band of grey clouds were threatening to open over the city.

This couldn’t be happening. Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was the hurt in hers before she left. She walked out and I did nothing to stop her. What if I had gone after her? If I had stopped her from leaving, even only for a few minutes, she would still be here today.

“Luke, do you mind leaving? I need to be alone.” The voice that came out didn’t even sound like mine.

Luke hesitated. “I don’t want to leave you alone, man.”

“Get the fuck out. Please, just leave.” I felt his presence for a few minutes longer. As soon as I heard the door close, I dropped to my knees and began to cry.

***

It was the day after I had found out, and two days since she’d died.

It still felt so unreal, like at any moment I was expecting her to call, or knock on my door. The last twenty-four hours I’d spend sleeping and drinking. They were the only two things that took my mind off this whole mess.

I hadn’t called work, or my father. I had nothing to say.

All I knew was I had to get the hell out of there. Everything reminded me of her. I’d slept on the floor of the balcony the night before in a pair of tracksuit pants, oblivious to the minus two frost. The bed reminded me of her, and I couldn’t even look at the sofa without imagining her sitting there, laughing. Every time I fell asleep I heard her laugh, only to open my eyes and find myself alone, and empty. The freezing temperature made me numb, but it didn’t dull the pain.

Racing through the bedroom, I slammed a few things into my overnight bag. Zipping it up, I threw it over my shoulder and grabbed my keys. As an afterthought I grabbed my phone, remembering that was my only connection to Belle. All her messages, her picture, everything that I had of her was on my phone. Without that, it was like she never existed in my life.

I jumped in my car with no idea where I was going. All I knew was I needed to get out of the city, and I needed alcohol. Lots of Alcohol. I stopped by a bottle shop and stocked up on scotch.

As I climbed back in the car, it hit me. I knew where I needed to go. I headed in the direction of the lake house. It was the only place I
knew
nobody would find me. The only people who knew about this place were Dad and Alex. Alex was overseas, and Dad had made it clear he didn’t give a shit about me.

My mind replayed my final minutes with Belle over and over, each time focused on that moment when I did nothing to stop her from leaving. I did nothing. She left and I did nothing.

If she had never met me, she would still be alive. If only I hadn’t gone back to the restaurant. I was a fucking mess. My vision blurred as I jerked the wheel to miss an imaginary rabbit, the car swerving on the road. I gained back control, my heart thumping. How easy would it be for me to end it right now, the same way Belle’s life ended? All I would have to do was speed up and slam into a tree. My foot pressed on the accelerator, the car slowly gaining speed. The road was slippery from the frost, and the fog made it difficult to see more than a few meters in front. I reached behind me, my hand gripping the neck of a bottle of scotch. I held it between my legs and unscrewed the top.

I lifted the bottle to my lips and drank. More than a mouthful, I drank until the liquid began to burn my lips. Moving it away, I gasped, breathing heavily. Sitting the open bottle next to me on the seat, I slowed down.

The lake house came into view, its three stories an imposing structure nestled among the serene environment that was Lake
Elucas. Parking the car in the driveway, I got out, taking the bottle with me and grabbed my bag.