Seduce Me Tonight (19 page)

‘How many was that?’ Aidan asked, trailing the end of the belt between my cheeks.

The beeping had distracted me. I had lost count. I bit the inside of my mouth to keep from groaning. ‘Eight?’

‘Are you asking me or telling me?’

‘It was eight,’ I breathed into my shoulder. ‘I’m sure of it.’

The belt whistled through the air and I cried out even before the leather cracked on my already fevered skin. I jerked against my bonds, fingers tightening in the ropes, grateful for something to hang onto even while I strained to break free.
Beep-beep-beep.

‘
Now
it’s eight,’ he said. ‘Ready for nine?’

‘Yes, sir, but could you make that beeping stop?’

‘What beeping?’

‘Don’t you hear it?’
Beep-beep-beep.
‘Turn it off, please.’

‘What, baby?’

‘Make it stop. Turn it off, please,’ I mumbled into my shoulder. ‘Please make it stop.’

Aidan caressed my back. When had he gotten on the bed with me?

‘Honey? You have to get up. The twins are awake and I have to get to work.’

He smacked my ass, pulling me from the sweet torment of my dream. Not just a dream, a memory. A distant memory, BB, Before Babies. The twins were two and a half. Which meant I was dreaming about something that had last happened … nearly three and a half years ago. BP, Before Pregnancy. Before the ultrasound showed two heartbeats, before my doctor put me on bed rest, before the emergency Caesarean section, before postpartum depression. Before. Just
before
. Back when I was me.

I sighed, the remnants of the dream fading away as reality took over. Aidan turned off the alarm and kissed me goodbye.

‘I gave them breakfast,’ he said, giving me the rundown of what I was in for. ‘Tyler wanted Froot Loops, Zach wanted Cheerios. Somewhere between serving and eating, they decided to swap bowls. Then they decided they would share. Which involved pouring all the cereal on the floor and mixing it up before putting it back into bowls.’

I groaned. ‘Did you clean up the mess?’

‘Yeah, but they’re probably into something else so you’d better get your tail in gear if you’re going to make it to school on time.’

He gave me another swat. It was affectionate and nonsexual, but it stirred something in me. I caught his wrist as he pulled back. ‘I could use more of that,’ I said.

He looked like he was going to say something, but then one of the twins let out a banshee wail, followed immediately by the other one screaming, ‘I didn’t do it!’

‘Gotta go, babe,’ Aidan said, giving me another quick kiss. ‘One of these days we’ll have time for something else, right?’

‘Right,’ I said, though I wasn’t entirely sure I believed it as I dragged my tired body out of bed.

No time to shower before I had to drop the twins off at preschool and fight traffic to my teaching job at the middle school. Six o’clock in the morning and I was already promising myself I could go to bed early. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Catherine was smiling. That in itself wasn’t unusual, but since we were on first period lunch duty on a Friday and the kids were off the chain, her smiling meant she was either on drugs or had gotten laid. In either case, I was terribly jealous.

Her smile turned to stern teacher look as two sixth-grade boys pushed each other in the lunch line. She snapped her fingers and pointed to the tables. They grinned sheepishly and collected their lunch. If only it was always so easy.

I sidled up to her and leaned in close to be heard over the din. ‘What are you so happy about?’

She tried to stop smiling and couldn’t. ‘It’s Friday. Why aren’t you happy?’

‘I am,’ I said.

She looked doubtful.

‘Bad night. Bad morning. I’m tired,’ I mumbled. ‘I’ll take two of whatever is making you smile like that and about twelve hours of sleep.’

‘You don’t need sleep, you need a good –’ She glanced around and then whispered conspiratorially, ‘
You know
.’

‘Know what?’ Lexi joined us, looking as exhausted as I felt. ‘Will this day ever be over?’

‘Know what I need,’ I said. ‘And yeah, I
know
, I just can’t do anything about it. Having two little ones around makes the
you know
difficult.’

Lexi snorted. ‘Having no one to
you know
with makes it difficult, too.’

Catherine didn’t have kids, so she could
you know
all she wanted with her hot, hunky mechanic husband. Lexi was single and childfree, so I didn’t expect her to understand, either. I sighed and looked at my watch. Another fifteen minutes in the lunch period, another five hours in the work day. Then a fun-filled weekend of gardening and a trip to the zoo and endless rounds of ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’ and recorded episodes of
Sesame Street
. It was wonderful, it truly was, and I loved my weekends with my family – I just wanted a little alone time with Aidan to …
you know
.

‘Let me take them for a night,’ Catherine said.

I shook my head. ‘I couldn’t do that to you. They’re toddlers. One is bad enough. Two of them together? You’d never survive.’

She laughed. ‘I deal with this every day,’ she said, sweeping her arm across the controlled chaos of the lunch room. ‘I can deal with your little boys for one night.’

‘Do it, Hannah,’ Lexi stage-whispered. ‘You can always find another friend – but who knows how long it’ll be before you get to
you know
all night long again?’

She had a point. Not about finding another friend, but because doing what I wanted to do with Aidan wasn’t just about being able to close the door. It was about being able to make noise. A lot of noise. Not just orgasmic noises, but screaming and crying and begging and the sound of being slapped and smacked … Those weren’t things we could do in a house with children, at least not until we could afford a bigger house and some soundproofing for the walls.

‘OK, if you’re sure,’ I said.

Catherine nodded. ‘I’m sure. I have my own agenda. I’m kind of ready for one of my own. Just need to get Mark on board. One night with your kiddos and he’ll be ready to
you know
me to a big pregnant baby belly.’

I opened my mouth to warn her about what might happen to all that
you knowing
she was doing if she decided to have a baby, but then I thought better of it. ‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘You have
no
idea how much this means to me.’

‘Just return the favour when I have a baby.’

I nodded absentmindedly, my mind not on babies at all.

* * *

Convincing Aidan to let Catherine and Mark take the twins overnight was easier than I thought. Thankfully, they lived just across the street so my motherly guilt was assuaged by the knowledge that if either of them got scared and wanted to come home, they could. I did feel a little guilty for hoping they
wouldn’t
want to come home as I filled their backpacks with pyjamas, toys, books, videos and even a bedtime snack and walked them across the street the following Saturday evening. The twins acted like they were going to Disney World, probably because they loved hanging out with Mark while he worked on his classic Mustang. With a kiss and a wave, I walked back to the house feeling like a new woman.

The plan was dinner, just the two of us. And then … well, I knew what I wanted, but we hadn’t really had any time to discuss it. I smiled as I let myself back into the house. Aidan had volunteered to make dinner and the scent of simmering onions and garlic was heaven. Even better would be getting to eat his signature pasta marinara without having to scrape it off the ceiling afterward. I moved up behind him at the stove and wrapped my arms around his waist.

‘That smells delicious,’ I said, resting my head between his shoulder blades. ‘I am so excited about tonight.’

‘Me, too.’ He added crushed tomatoes, chopped green pepper and mushrooms to the simmering pan. ‘I rented the
Bourne
trilogy.’

I laughed. ‘Uh huh. You’re cute.’

He tilted his head. ‘Did you want to watch something else? Maybe comedies instead? I’m not sure I can do a night of chick flicks, but
The
Hangover
is on cable.’

I unwound my arms from around his waist. ‘You’re serious.’

‘You said you wanted to catch up on things we hadn’t done in a while,’ he said, sounding confused. ‘I can’t remember the last time we sat down and watched an entire movie without one or both of us crashing out before the end.’

‘You really
are
serious.’

I shook my head as I stepped back against the counter. It should have been funny. I should have laughed at the goody, confused expression on his face. Instead, I picked the pasta pot up from the counter and slammed it down.

‘Are you
kidding
me?’ I slammed the pot again. ‘The first night we’ve been alone – completely
alone
– since the twins were born and all you want to do is watch vampire movies and eat pasta?’

He was staring at me as if I’d grown a second head. ‘I – well, this was your idea. I thought you wanted a quiet dinner and to relax for awhile. I thought we’d go to bed early –’

‘Let me guess, go to bed early and
sleep
,’ I all but snarled. ‘Maybe get eight or ten solid hours of
sleep
and then what? A quiet breakfast alone, too?’

‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ Aidan turned the burner off and pushed the sauce pot to the back of the stove. ‘So you don’t want to eat and you don’t want to watch movies and you
obviously
don’t want to sleep. What the hell do you
want
to do and why didn’t I get the memo?’

‘I want to fuck like we used to!’

As loudly as I screamed it, I was sure Catherine and Mark were now staring at each other and cranking up the cartoons to drown me out before one of the kids asked them what ‘fuck’ meant. I threw my hands up and walked out of the kitchen, heading for the bedroom.
Alone
. To
sleep
. Holy fuck, this was my life now? And Aidan wanted to know what was wrong with
me
?

I slammed the bedroom door and lay down on the bed, but I was too pissed off to sleep. Or cry. Or even relax. I was as rigid as an ironing board.

Aidan opened the bedroom door. ‘Hannah? Why didn’t you say something?’

I just shook my head. The anger was fading, replaced by soul-crushing depression.

He sat down on the edge of the bed. ‘You should have said something,’ he said, his voice firm. ‘How am I supposed to know what you need if you don’t
tell
me?’

He sounded angry. I started crying. This was definitely not how I envisioned us spending our first night alone in three years. ‘You haven’t said anything either. I’m not going to
make
you fuck me.’

‘What? Baby, I’ve wanted you that way every day since the twins were born,’ he said, his voice soft. ‘But I didn’t want to push you. I didn’t know what you could, or wanted to, do and I didn’t know what we could manage with them in the next room.’

‘It’s not like it’s been so bad,’ I amended. ‘I just miss –’

‘The kinky stuff,’ he finished.

I nodded.

‘Get undressed,’ he ordered.

I shook my head, sniffling. ‘I’m not in the mood any more.’

‘I said get undressed. It wasn’t a request.’

And it wasn’t. His tone was something I hadn’t heard in a long, long time. Demanding. Forceful. Aidan was the most gentle, easy-going guy I knew, so when he unleashed his dominant side, it brought out something dark and secret in me. A total submissiveness that was completely absent in every other part of my life. A submission I craved. It had been a very long dry spell and I was ready to release the floodgates.

And yet, despite knowing that he was serious, I still delayed. But now I was delaying as part of the game.
Our
game. I could already feel my anticipation building.

‘I’m not in the mood,’ I said again, but this time I threw in some attitude. Rolling over on my side, I presented him with my backside. ‘Sorry.’

I waited for the smack I was sure that was coming, but it didn’t come. Instead, I felt him stand up. For one panicky minute I thought he’d taken me seriously and was going to leave me alone. I needn’t have worried. Aidan knew me too well for that.

Instead of smacking my ass, he put his hand on the nape of my neck, gathered all of my hair in his hand and tugged hard. Hard enough to make me arch my neck to look at him. Hard enough to make me gasp.

‘I said,’ he tugged at my hair for emphasis, ‘get undressed. Now.’

I couldn’t help myself. I whimpered. It had been so long since he’d pulled my hair. So long since he’d taken charge. I could feel myself letting go, slipping into that sub space that I loved so much and had been denied so long. It hadn’t been his fault, or even mine, but I had missed it and now I was anxious to renew that part of myself.

‘No,’ I said defiantly, looking up into his face. Watching the way his eyelids hooded his eyes, lust and challenge flaring his nostrils. ‘No.’

He pulled me up by my hair, forcing me to brace my hands on the bed to support myself. ‘Did you just say
no
to me?’

I had never seen him so angry. His jaw was tight, teeth clenched. If I hadn’t known him so well, if I hadn’t trusted him so much, I might have been scared. Even despite those things, I shivered with my helplessness.

‘Let’s see if we can change your mind,’ he said, still holding me by my hair as he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans with the other hand.

I moaned as he pulled his cock free. He was already hard and heavy, ready for me. He held his cock in one hand and guided my head to it.

‘Suck it and maybe you’ll feel like getting naked,’ he said. ‘Suck it and maybe – maybe – I’ll fuck you.’

He yanked hard at my hair, arching my neck over his crotch, and I opened my mouth to gasp at the twinge of pain. He took that opportunity to push the head of his cock into my mouth. Reflexively, I opened wider to take him in, covering my teeth with my lips, automatically drawing him into my throat.

He laughed. ‘You say no, but you’re still my slut, aren’t you?’