Seduced by Destiny (22 page)

Even if she somehow managed to escape, she wouldn’t live long without Drew’s protection. This was the land of her enemy. Once
’twas discovered she was Scots, the English would no doubt descend upon her like wolves cornering a lamb.

They’d probably take turns on her first.

Then they’d rough her up, blacken her eye, break a few bones.

Maybe they’d beat her to death. Or maybe they’d make an example of her, burning her at the stake or hanging her in a public
square.

She shuddered.

She’d never been afraid of death. But then she’d always imagined death would come in glorious battle. After all, ’twas how
her mother had died. She had no intention of leaving herself at the mercy of her enemy to be raped, tortured, and executed.

Of course, the answer crouched like a patient hound in the darkest corner of her mind, waiting for her to summon it from the
shadows.

For a while she pretended to have forgotten ’twas there. But occasionally throughout the day, it reared its ugly head, reminding
Josselin that it waited for her. And the farther into enemy land she traveled, the more restless it grew. Finally, when the
lengthening shade of evening stretched over a landscape that was becoming increasingly foreign and menacing, she called the
animal forth.

She’d signed that oath to Philipe de la Fontaine and to the queen, vowing that if she fell into enemy hands, she’d kill herself
before she’d surrender any information. ’Twas
her duty to honor that promise. And she might not have as clear a chance later.

How she’d do it, she wasn’t certain. She was shackled to Drew, and he’d confiscated her only weapon. But after three days
together, he wasn’t as watchful as he’d once been. She probably couldn’t overpower him, but she might be able to steal his
dagger and inflict a mortal wound upon herself before he could stop her.

’Twas nightfall when her opportunity came. She lay awake beneath the full moon, waiting, her heart pounding, while the men
drifted off to deep sleep. After a long while, Drew at last rolled away from her, leaving the dagger he wore on his hip within
her reach. She took a breath to steady her nerves and mouthed a silent prayer.

Then, in one swift, bold move, she jostled him forcefully with her shackled hand. Half-awake and distracted by her rough handling,
he never noticed that she simultaneously slipped the dagger from his sheath with her free hand.

“What is it?” he mumbled, rolling toward her.

“I need to use the bushes,” she whispered.

He sighed, then struggled up to his elbows and gave his head a vigorous shake to clear it. “All right.”

She tried to avoid looking at him, reminding herself that he was her foe. But ’twas nearly impossible. When he raked back
his tousled hair, she remembered how soft it had been upon her bosom. When he yawned, she remembered his hungry mouth claiming
hers. When he stretched his arms, she remembered how sweetly he’d held her in the aftermath of their passion.

Tears started in her eyes, and she blinked them back. For what she was about to do, she needed courage, not mawkish reminiscing.

He unearthed the shackle key and helped her to her feet, then swept up Simon’s sword, and they left the clearing.

She dared not risk waking the others, so, concealing the dagger in the folds of her skirts, she led Drew a considerable distance
before she finally stopped beside a large shrub.

Drew gave her that sleepy one-sided grin she’d once loved. “Faith, Jossy, I’ve spent less time shopping for a golf club,”
he teased. “Are you sure this will do?”

A knot jammed in her throat, and it took all her will not to—damn her vow and damn their past—rush into his arms.

Tucking the sword under his arm, he lifted her shackled wrist. She hoped he couldn’t see how her hand trembled as he unlocked
the manacle.

Then she was free.

Swallowing hard, she stepped away from him and pretended to rummage beneath her skirts. She peered at him from beneath her
lashes, watching till he politely averted his gaze.

She stared at the naked dagger in her damp palm. The blade looked so cold and gray and forbidding in the moonlight. She turned
the weapon in her hand until it pointed toward her and placed the sharp tip under her ribs, praying she had the strength to
plunge it into her heart.

The cold reality of death made the blood drain from her face, and she broke out into an icy sweat. Her stomach clenched, and
her mouth watered with nausea. If she waited much longer, she thought she might be sick.

So she closed her eyes, held her breath, and counted silently.

One…

Two…

W
hile he waited, Drew whistled softly and absently twirled the point of Simon’s sword in the dirt. He hoped this wouldn’t take
too long. After their inconvenient trek through the wilds of north England, he could use a good night’s rest. Impatient, he
stole a fleeting glance at Jossy.

He froze mid-whistle. Even under the pale light of the moon, he could see she’d turned as white as parchment. Her lips were
compressed into a thin line, and her chest rose and fell with rapid, shallow breaths. Sweat popped out at her brow, and she
looked as though she was about to lose her supper.

Then she squeezed her eyes shut, swaying ever so slightly, and he turned to watch her, frowning in concern. Misgiving suddenly
pricked the back of his neck. What the…?

He clapped a hand to his sheath.

’Twas empty.

His heart in his throat, he dropped his sword and lunged forward, knocking the dagger from her hand with his fist, using such
force that the weapon sailed across the clearing.

She went limp, and he caught her awkwardly with his left arm and half of his body, staggering under her dead weight. At first
he thought she’d fainted, but she was conscious, just half-aware, as if she’d just awakened from a strange dream.

His heart stabbed at his ribs as a maelstrom of emotions coursed through him—despair, panic, hurt, and then brutal, inexplicable
rage.

“Nay!” he bellowed, shaking her roughly. “Nay!”

She had no reaction to his violence, just looked at him quizzically. “Am I… dead?”

“Nay!” he snarled. “Nay, you’re not dead! And you’re not going to die. Do you hear me?” He shook her again, his anger rapidly
growing out of control. “I won’t let you die! I won’t let you die like my…”

He stumbled back a step.

God’s blood. ’Twasn’t Josselin he was yelling at, he realized. ’Twas his father.

That long-buried pain had risen to the surface. He suddenly recalled in vivid detail the anguish of seeing his father’s body
swaying from the rafters, the hollow grief of watching his uncles bury him, his devastation as he realized his father had
left him… forever.

He never spoke of his father’s death. His uncles had forbidden it. When anyone asked, they were simply told that Edward Armstrong
died in battle. All these years, Drew had had to live with a lie and suffer in silence.

No more.

For years he’d blamed himself. He’d been the last one to see his father alive, and he’d agonized over that. Was there something
he could have said, something he could have done, to prevent his death? As young as he’d been,
he’d still felt like he could have stopped his father if he’d only known.

And if Josselin thought for one moment he’d allow her to snuff out her life the way his father had, to have another death
on his conscience…

“I’m supposed to be dead,” she whispered. Her face crumpled in despair. “Damn you!” she wailed, beating on his chest with
her fists. “Damn you! I’m supposed to be dead! I’m supposed to be—”

“Nay! Nay. You’re not,” he said firmly, gripping her by the shoulders and forcing her to look at him. “Listen to me. You’re
young and beautiful. You have your whole life in front of you. You’ll marry. And you’ll have children. And you’ll be there
for those children. You’ll
be
there, do you hear me?”

Tears filled Josselin’s eyes. She couldn’t stop trembling. Indeed, if ’tweren’t for Drew holding her up, she’d likely have
collapsed. But if he thought she was grateful he’d saved her life, if he thought his passionate words would convince her to
live, he was wrong.

She’d been mentally prepared to die. She was
supposed
to die. Drew had dragged her from the grave. And ruined everything.

Now she was condemned to die at the hands of her enemy—a wretched, ghastly, dishonorable death.

She attempted to wrench herself out of his arms, to no avail, then hissed, “Why couldn’t ye have just let me die in peace?
’Tis what I wanted.”

He flinched, incredulous. “In peace?” he snarled. “Oh, aye, ’twould have been peaceful for you. But you intended
to kill yourself on
my
blade! God’s blood, did you never think of what that might have done to me?”

Truthfully, she hadn’t. She guiltily lowered her gaze. “ ’Twas the only way.”

“The only way to what? Take the craven way out?” He shook his head. “And ye told me ye were no coward.”

His insult stung. “Ye don’t understand,” she said bitterly. “I’m dead already. Ye killed me when ye brought me to England.”

“I had to bring you here. You know that. I couldn’t let you turn my uncles in.”

“And now they’ll turn me in.” She didn’t add that even if they didn’t, she was obligated by her service to the queen to take
her own life.

He cupped her jaw in his hand. “Jossy, I won’t let harm come to you. I love you. I don’t care whether you’re Scots or English
or… or from the moon. No matter what else you believe of me, believe this. I love you.”

She gave him a brittle smile. He didn’t understand. “If ye truly loved me, ye would have let me die. Don’t you see? They’ll
torture me. Once they find out I have connections to Mary, they’ll break every bone in my body to—”

“I won’t let them have you,” he said, holding her face in his hands. “I swear.”

He seemed so sure. He spoke with such intensity. ’Twas so tempting to believe him. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to
forget that he was English, that she was a spy, that her mother’s murder demanded vengeance. She wanted to escape to that
heavenly place the two of them had gone, when their bodies were joined and the rest of the world disappeared.

His eyes lowered to her lips, and for one suspenseful
moment, she feared he might kiss her, hoped he might kiss her.

Then the moment passed.

“Listen, Jossy. I had to get my uncles out of Scotland for their own sake, and they wouldn’t have come without me. I’ll see
them home safe, but I don’t mean to stay in England.” He let out a rueful chuckle. “How could I live in a country without
golf?”

He took her hand. “I promise I’ll keep you out of harm’s way. I won’t let anyone take you from me. And if they try…” Using
the same trick he’d shown her on the golf course, he flipped up the haft of the dropped sword with his foot, caught it, and
twirled the blade in his hand. “They’ll have to come through me.”

After Jossy and the Englishman left, Will remained crouched in the moonlit bushes for a long while, trying to make sense of
what he’d just witnessed.

He knew he should report back to Angus and Alasdair, who waited a quarter mile behind the abductors’ makeshift encampment.
But after what he’d just seen, he wasn’t sure what to tell them.

He’d left his companions slumbering there, exhausted after their two-day journey. But Will’s worry for Jossy wouldn’t let
him sleep, and curiosity had gotten the best of him. So sometime near midnight he’d stolen into the enemy camp, as luck would
have it, just as Jossy was rising to leave.

He followed her with utmost stealth as she led her captor a great distance away from the others, and he glimpsed the glint
of a blade hidden in her skirts. Perhaps she planned to kill the man and make her escape before his
accomplices could catch her. Will unsheathed, prepared to lend a hand if she needed it.

Once he learned she’d gone to answer the call of nature, he’d been abashed and did his best to avert his gaze.

But something wasn’t right with the lass. He detected it in her pale face as she closed her eyes with a strange expression
of defeat. She wasn’t going to kill the man, he suddenly realized in horror. She was going to kill herself.

After that, everything happened so fast, Will scarcely knew what transpired.

The man clouted Jossy’s hand, sending the dagger across the clearing to land inches from Will’s hiding place, and Jossy collapsed
into the man’s arms.

Will’s heart dropped to the pit of his belly, and he would have cried out to her, but his gasp was smothered by the man’s
furious shouts. And once Will heard the raw and angry concern in the man’s voice—a rage that echoed Will’s own—he decided
Jossy was safe enough in the man’s care. Will settled back weakly on his haunches, glad the fellow was strong enough to give
her the stern reprimand she deserved, and watched until his heart could return to a reasonable pace.

’Twas immediately obvious from his accent that the man wasn’t a Highlander at all, but from England, which made Will’s blood
boil, particularly since the brute had his filthy English hands all over Jossy.

But Will reined in his rage. The man had saved Jossy’s life, after all. Whatever else he was, he was clearly concerned for
her welfare.

Once they lowered their voices, Will could no longer hear them. But at one moment as the couple gazed into one another’s eyes,
they seemed about to kiss, and Will
knew that if they did, he couldn’t be responsible for what he might do. Fortunately, his restraint wasn’t tested. They drew
apart, the man clapped a manacle around Jossy’s wrist, and they returned to their camp.

Now ’twas up to Will to decide how to explain it all to Jossy’s other da’s.

Back at their camp, it took him several attempts with numerous interruptions, but he finally got the news across to Angus
and Alasdair.

“I say we rush in now with our swords swingin’,” Angus ground out, “murder them all, and take Jossy home where she belongs.”