Seduced by Stratton (The English Brothers Book 4) (22 page)

“Wait! Val?”

“I’m still here.”

“Make me a promise.”

“What is it?”

“Read me love letters tomorrow while I’m making dinner? New ones? Not from the syllabus?”

Why her eyes suddenly filled and burned, she wasn’t totally sure. Maybe because he embraced her life so fully. He made her feel like the parts of her so bizarre to her family were treasured by him. Her parents hadn’t encouraged her dreams, merely tolerated them. Her sisters and Joe—they didn’t understand her plans for the future, and they certainly didn’t embrace them. If they all had their way, they’d derail her dreams in exchange for a life that could never satisfy her.

Not Stratton. He saw the poet’s soul in her and wanted not less but more of
her
—more of who she really was, more of who she wanted to be, more of what she loved. Stratton could be a companion on her journey, not a bystander, and certainly not an obstacle. And this realization was at the crux of the deep, intense rush of love she felt for him. More than anyone she’d ever known, Stratton English loved her for exactly who she was.

“I promise, Stratton,” she whispered in a thready, emotional voice.

“
Buonanotte, Valeria
.
Ti sognero' tutta la notte fino al mattin
o
.
”

I’ll be dreaming of you until morning.

She sighed lightly, ending on a soft whimper.

“Goodnight,” she finally murmured back.

She ended the call and placed the phone on the coffee table before her, then plucked one of the calla lilies from the vase. Fingering the satin petals as she drifted to her bedroom, she stripped herself bare, slid into the cool sheets of her bed, and because her life made no sense without him either, she dreamt of Stratton until morning too.

***

“Strat?”

“Alex,” said Stratton, relieved that his brother picked up. He shined two wine glasses with a paper towel and set them on the table. “You busy?”

Alex’s chuckle was low, distracted, and slightly breathless. “Not anymore.”

“You’re so gross,” said Stratton, rolling his eyes. Leave it to Alex to pick up the phone while he was in bed with his fiancée.

“Hey brother, you asked. By the way, Jess waves hi.”

“I wave hi back, I guess. I’ll, um . . . I’ll call back later.”

“It’s okay. She’s getting in the shower.”

Stratton held the phone slightly away from his ear at the unmistakable sound of kissing. He looked in the wine rack built over his kitchen cabinets, pulling down an outrageously expensive 2006 Brunello he’d been saving for a special occasion.

“Man, that woman does things to me. Okay. What’s up?”

“I need some advice.”

“Oh, yeah?” Alex’s voice became razor sharp, and Stratton imagined his brother sitting up straight against his headboard and pulling the sheets up to his waist. “If you want advice about a girl, Strat, I’ve seriously been dreaming of this day since you were twelve years old.”

“Christ, you’re such an asshole.”

“Holy shit! It
is
about a girl!”

“Alex, could you possibly not be a dick?”

His older brother laughed softly. “This is like déjà vu.”

“Huh?” Stratton set two candlesticks on the table, but realized he had no candles. Something else to add to his shopping list.

“I started a conversation like this with Barrett not that long ago . . .”

“Well, if Barrett wasn’t a jerk and gave you good advice, maybe I should call him instead.”

“Wa-wa-wait! I promise not to be a dick. Tell me what’s up.”

“You know Emily’s roommate? Val—”

“Valeria! Yeah, of course! That happened, huh?”

“What do you mean ‘That
happened
?’” Stratton sat down in his favorite chair, reaching for his shoes and slipping them on.

“I mean Fitz and Barrett have been on a ‘Valeria kick’ for months, wondering if you needed a little nudge, if they should push you two together. Said you all met up at Mulligan’s a few months ago, and they’d never seen you so into a girl before.”

“What? They never said anything to me.”

“She must have made a pretty big impression on you.”

“She did,” said Stratton, sitting back for a moment. “She has. She’s different, you know? From other girls.”

“And you like her.”

“Yeah. No. It’s more than that. I’m pretty sure I
love
her.” He paused for a second. “Hey, how did you know for sure? That you were in love with Jess?”

Alex paused for a moment before answering. “Honestly? It made me physically sick to think of my future without her in it. Like, I know it’s going to sound dramatic, but I actually felt like it would be better to die than live without her, it hurt so much to even consider it. Life would be meaningless—”

“Colorless,” said Stratton. “And comparing your life before you met her and after tightens your chest until it hurts to breathe, because you got to know what it felt like for your life to be exceptional, and anything else feels unbearable.”

“Oh, wow,” said Alex softly, his voice grave. “You
are
in love with her.”

“Yeah,” said Stratton, heading for the door and pulling on his overcoat.

“Well, you’re not really calling me to figure out how you feel because you already know . . . so what advice do you need?”

“She’s coming over for dinner tonight and it’s, um, it’s been a long time since I’ve
been
with someone.”

“How long?”

Stratton winced, knowing what Alex’s reaction would be. “Years.”

“Holy shit!” exclaimed Alex. “How . . . What . . . I mean, how are you still functioning?”

Stratton grabbed his keys and closed the apartment door behind him. “I thought I was in love with someone else.”

“You
can
have sex without loving someone. You know that, right?”

“That’s not who I am, Al. Incidentally, that’s not who you are anymore either.”

“Fair enough. Okay. So you’re worried about . . . performing?”

“Not exactly. I think I remember what goes where,” he said sarcastically, stepping onto the elevator.

“Well, then, you’re going to have to spit it out, Strat. I can’t read your mind.”

“You’re Alex English. What one piece of advice would you give me?”

Alex sighed and lowered his voice. “First time with a girl you care about? Chair or couch. Her on your lap. Make sure she leans back. It’s all about depth and the angle.”

“Jesus!”

Stratton’s brain just about exploded as he wrapped his mind around this information. He didn’t know what he was expecting Alex to say, but Stratton’s breathing quickened as he pictured Valeria’s naked body straddling his lap. Oh, God, he hoped staying the night was as high on her agenda as it was on his.

“You asked,” said Alex.

“I meant conversation topics or what type of wine to serve . . . or . . .”

“Believe me, I just gave you the best possible piece of advice.”

As the elevator doors opened to the lobby, Stratton tried to get the image of naked Val out of his mind before he walked out of his apartment building with a raging hard-on.

“But, Strat,” said Alex quietly, forcing him to refocus on the conversation. “I don’t think you should worry about it. If you’re really into her, and she’s really into you, it doesn’t matter what you do or how you do it. You could sit on the couch and watch a movie and it wouldn’t be wasted time. It would be awesome because you’re sitting next to her.”

“I don’t want to fuck this up.”

“You won’t. Hey, do you know the best gift Jess ever gave me?”

“What?”

“Loving me for who I am, despite everything.” He paused. “Which means the best advice I can give you is to be yourself.”

“But I’m awkward, and I say things that—”

“Strat,” Alex said again. “Whoever you are? She said yes to
you
. She likes
you
. Maybe she even loves
you
, too. I’ll say it again . . . the most important thing I can tell you is this: Be yourself. Love her for her . . . and let her love you for you.”

Stratton nodded, walking through the double doors of his building and turning toward the grocery store down the block.

“Alex, what would you make for dinner?”

“See . . . this is my point. Doesn’t matter what I would make. What would
you
make?”

We’re
The Shining
and pizza, the foxtrot in old jeans, kisses in the snow, love letters and black calla lilies.

Stratton smiled as he remembered her words. He knew exactly what to do.

“Hey Alex, say bye to Jess for me.”

“Will do. Say hi to Val for me, too.”

***

Barrett and Emily were watching TV when Val came out of her bedroom dressed in jeans and a scooped neck, merlot-colored silk blouse. Her black boots looked chic, and she’d used product in her hair to tame the frizz, and it fell behind her shoulders in thick, glossy waves. She’d made up her face a little, darkened her already-dark eyes and matched her lips to her top . . . and underneath she wore her only pair of sexy underwear—a black lace bra from Victoria’s Secret with a matching thong.

“Whoa!” exclaimed Emily. “Who’s getting laid tonight?”

“Besides you?” asked Val tartly, grinning at her friend.

Barrett whistled low. “You look hot, Val. Lucky Joe.”

Emily jammed her elbow into his side, and he kissed her nose like she was adorable.

Val picked up her purse nervously and checked out her face in the living room mirror. She looked good. In fact, this was about as good as Val could look, but the best thing was, it didn’t matter. Stratton had fallen for her when she was wearing leotards and tights with her frizzy hair barely staying in a bun. She wanted to look nice for him, sure, but it felt amazing that he’d seen her at her everyday worst and liked her all the same.

“So, things are good with you and Joe?” asked Emily, winking at Val.

Yeah, things were good with Joe. She thought back to the conversation they’d had after mass this morning.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he’d said, coming up behind her as she exited through the vestibule of St. Andrews. “I tried to catch up with you last night, but you left so quick . . . and you didn’t return my calls. You okay?”

His brown eyes were gentle and worried as she looked up at him on the top steps of the old Catholic church.

“I’m okay, Joe.” She dropped his eyes then forced herself to look back at him. “But I think we need to talk.”

        He took her arm as they started down the stairs toward the sidewalk. “I’m listening.”

“You’re great. You’ve been really kind to me, and I’ve enjoyed our dates—”

“But you want to be with him.”

For the first time, it didn’t bother her that Joe cut her off, because for the first time the way he finished her sentence was accurate. “Yeah.”

“After you left, Danny told me that you two fell for each other a few weeks ago. I guess I was sort of your rebound, huh?”

She grimaced at the hurt and light accusation in Joe’s voice. “It’s not that simple, Joe. I didn’t think there was a chance for me and Stratton, so I didn’t think there was any harm in us getting to know each other.”

“I’m not used to getting dumped,” he said, letting go of her arm as they reached the sidewalk.

“You’re not getting dumped,” she said. “I never said yes to being your girlfriend. We were just hanging out.”

He chuckled ruefully. “Yeah, okay.”

“Plus, I’m not the right girl for you, Joe. I want to be a college professor, not an elementary school teacher. I want to live in the city, not the suburbs. I’m not even positive I want kids.”

He looked surprised as she said this, furrowing his brows at her like he was having trouble understanding. “You don’t want kids?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe, someday. There are a lot of things I want out of life before kids.”

Joe nodded, but still looked dubious. “And this Stratton, he doesn’t want kids either?”

“I don’t know. It hasn’t come up yet, which means kids probably aren’t a priority for him right now. With you, it came up almost immediately. I know you want to start a family soon and I just . . . don’t.”

“You’re right. I’m looking to settle down. I don’t know why I thought you were too.”

“Maybe you just wanted me to be,” she said gently.

“I guess we don’t make sense after all, huh, Val?”

She smiled at him, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. “We could be friends.”

“Why not?” he said. He scratched his head, as though considering something, and then asked, “Not to be weird . . . but do you mind if I ask out your cousin, Christina? She seems—”