Seeing Black (14 page)

“You okay?” Alexander asked.

“Yes, I’m fine. Just a little surprised to see him
here.” She pulled her hand away. “And you,” she pointed at
Alexander, “are on my shit list too, so stop manhandling me and
pretending we’re okay.”

“Fine. We’ll talk about us, but not now. Right now,
we have to do something about that creep.” He glanced over at Paul,
who was speaking with another student. “We can’t just pretend we
don’t know about his plan and about what he did to you.”

“Not now. Later. We are in a room full of professors
and other classmates. Just . . .” She sighed. “Just trust me,
Alexander. Just trust me. You think you can do that? I’m not a
helpless little girl. I know a thing or two. Just let it go for
now, okay?”

“You are such an exasperating woman.” He placed his
big palms on her cheeks and stared intently into her eyes. “But I
love you. I’m here, so there isn’t much he can do to hurt you.” He
pulled her face closer to his and lightly brushed his lips against
hers.

“I’m still mad at you, you know.”

“I know. But you still love me.” He smiled and
walked away.

“I do,” she mumbled.

“I was an asshole earlier. I was just trying to say
that it was no big deal. The Miriam thing, it’s no big deal. But it
came out all wrong. You know nothing happened between her and me. I
know that, deep down, you believe me.”

She sighed and repeated. “I do.”

Court was in session.

Just like a real trial, Jill made her opening
statement, followed by another member of her class, Jeffery
McGinnis, who was playing the role of defense counsel.

The first witness was called up, played by another
member of the class. She had supposedly witnessed the defendant and
the victim interacting at the party before the alleged sexual
assault. Jill questioned the witness relentlessly until she felt it
was obvious to the jurors/judges that the witness was helping prove
her case against the defendant/alleged rapist.

Next, Jill called the victim to the stand. It was a
little strange to have the victim played by a male, her
ex-boyfriend, the professor, the lying deceitful jerk, especially
since the victim was a female in the sample scenario and the
student who was playing the defendant was also male. Jill would
have to pretend. She made adjustments and proceeded
accordingly.

Jill began. “Please state your name for the
record.”

“Paulina Black.” There was some snickering from some
of the other members of the class who sat in the courtroom.

First, Jill asked some qualifying questions such as
address, date of birth, etc. “Do you recognize the man who is
sitting over there?” She pointed to the defendant.

“Yes. His name is William Robins.”

“Yes or no, Ms. Black.” Jill looked straight at Paul
without a shimmer of amusement. She was correcting her own witness
without even an objection from opposing counsel. There were a few
sighs from the back of the class, and she saw Judge Alexander’s
eyes open wide and slight amusement form around his lips. Even Jill
didn’t know where she was going with this, but suddenly, seeing
Paul on the witness stand, playing the role of a helpless victim,
made her furious. The facts of the case felt a little similar to
her own situation. She took a deep calming breath. She had to keep
composed. He was not a hostile witness. He was on her side—Paulina,
not Paul. Paul was the enemy.

“Yes, I do recognize that man.” Paul cleared his
throat, slightly unhinged by Jill’s abruptness.

“And his name?”

“William Robins.”

“And how do you recognize him?”

“He was my boyfriend.”

“Your boyfriend? Really?”

“Yes.” His eyebrows furrowed. She knew he was
wondering where she was going with this line of questioning.
Actually, she was wondering too.

“Mr., I mean, Ms. Black, what exactly is your
definition of girlfr—I mean, boyfriend.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You heard me. What is your definition of
boyfriend?” She said it very slowly and very deliberately. She
stood by the podium with both hands holding on, white knuckled.

“Objection, Judge. Where is this line of questions
going?” Jeffery interrupted.

“Overruled. Please continue, Ms. Stone.” Alexander
looked amused, although slightly confused.

“Thank you, Judge. Please answer the question, Ms.
Black.”

“Well, I think everyone would define—”

“I’m not asking about everyone Paul . . . ina. I am
asking you. What is
your
definition of boyfriend?” Jill
walked around the podium and stood with her arms crossed right in
front of the witness stand, her black pumps tapping the floor. Up
and down. Up and down.

Paul cleared his throat. “My definition of a
girlfriend, excuse me, boyfriend, is someone you spend time with,
someone you get to know. You have dinner, go on dates, and meet the
friends and family. Usually, it’s exclusive. Eventually, you fall
in love or break up.”

“Someone you have sex with?” Jill added, curtly.

“Objection, leading the witness.”

Jill looked at Alexander, Judge Alexander, with
daggers shooting out of her eyes. He looked utterly lost. “Um, can
you please rephrase the question, Ms. Stone.”

“Of course, Your Honor. Ms. Black, please explain
how sex plays a role in your relationship with your
boyfriends.”

“Well, boyfriends and girlfriends have sex. There’s
nothing unusual about—”

“I’m not asking whether it is unusual or not. Please
answer only the questions that I ask.”

“Okay.” A small sheen was starting to form on Paul’s
forehead, and his hands were now fidgeting with a pen he had in his
hand.

“So since you have just stated that couples in
relationships have sex, please explain your sexual relationship
with the defendant.”

“On occasion, we had sex.”

“Was it consensual?”

“Yes.”

“Now, can you please define love for us, Ms.
Black?”

“Love?”

“I’m sorry, are you having trouble hearing
today?”

“No, Ms. Stone, that’s just a hard question to
answer.”

“Well, please indulge us with your answer.” At this
point the questions and answers were flowing so quickly back and
forth that no one in the courtroom, including opposing counsel said
anything. Everyone was looking at them like a tennis match, turning
their heads from Jill to Paul, back and forth.

“Love is when you can’t live without a person. They
make you feel whole. You want them around all the time. You trust
them implicitly and—”

“I’m sorry. Did you say, ‘Trust them
implicitly?’”

“Yes, I did.”

“Interesting.” Jill was now closer to the witness
stand. The palms of her hands rested on the front of the stand, and
she was leaning towards Paul.

“Should I continue?” Paul asked. He seemed
unnerved.

“Yes, please, continue. You left off spewing
something about trust. Go ahead.”

He cleared his throat. “Yes, you trust a person
completely when you’re in love. You don’t share when you’re in love
with anyone.” Paul glanced at Alexander when he said that.

“And are you in the habit of telling every woman,
excuse me, every man whom you date that you love him.”

The audience snickered.

“No. Absolutely not. Just the special ones.”

“And what would make a lucky man, a special one.”
She lifted her fingers to quote
special one
.

“Jillian, it’s just—”

“Objection. Judge, please direct the witness to give
me the courtesy of calling me Ms. Stone. This is a court room we’re
in, after all.”

“Ms. Black, when you are addressing the state
attorney please refer to her as Ms. Stone or Counselor.”

“Counselor, I apologize.” Paul was seething. “I
wouldn’t know how to explain to you or to anyone else what I feel
would be considered special. To be honest, it has only happened to
me once.”

“With the defendant?”

“No, actually not with the defendant. I was not in
love with the defendant. I was in love with . . . I’m sorry. Go
ahead and ask your next question.”

Jill was a little flustered. She saw the look in his
eye and almost felt sad for him as if he meant to say he was in
love with her. But how could that be possible after what she had
read from his text to Brian/Ben? After all that happened between
them? All that she knew about him? Jill glanced over at Alexander,
who was beaming with what seemed like pride.

“So what happened on the night in question between
you and the defendant?”

“We had just recently ended things, and—”

“When did you end it?”

“The week before.”

“How? Oh, let me guess. You just disappeared, fell
off the face of the earth.”

“Objection.”

“Sustained.” Jill realized that not even Alexander
could get away with helping her with that one.

“Excuse me, Ms. Black. I apologize. Please explain
how you ended things.”

“I called him and told him that we couldn’t see each
other anymore.”

“Why?”

“I thought she was . . . Excuse me, he. I thought he
was seeing another woman.”

“So you ended things. How did he take it?”

Paul looked down at his hands; he seemed forlorn.
“Better than I thought he would. I guess he really loved this other
person. I think he was actually using me.”

“Using you!” She moved inches from his face.

Alexander cleared his throat. His jaw clenched. “Ms.
Stone, would you like to take a minute? We can have a short
recess.”

“No. No. I’m sorry.” She took a deep breath and took
a few steps back. She composed herself and began speaking again.
“Can you please explain what you mean by using you?”

“I think he couldn’t decide whether he was in love
with this other woman,” Paul glanced at Alexander, “ but I seemed
to fit this perfect mold, so he started dating me with the
intention of never really opening up completely to me. I can’t have
that kind of relationship. I need all of my woman’s, excuse me,
man’s love. All of it. I need him completely: body, mind, and soul.
As I mentioned before, I do not share.” He glared at her.

Jill shook her head side to side, frazzled. She
walked behind the podium and held on. She was starting to feel a
little lightheaded. “Okay, so you two broke up. What happened at
the party?”

“He went to the party, knowing I’d be there and that
I was still in love with him and—”

“I thought you said you weren’t in love with
him.”

“Oh, yeah, I meant I still cared about him. You know
I still had feelings for him, and he went to the party with that
other woman I suspected he loved. I was so angry and hurt that I
left.”

“You left?”

“Yes, I walked out of the party, but he followed
me.”

“And then what happened?”

“Then he pulled me to the side of the building, a
dark alley, actually, and started pulling up my dress and touching
me against my will.”

“Against your will, really?”

“Objection. Leading.”

“Sustained. Please rephrase the question, Ms.
Stone.”

“Are you sure you didn’t seduce him into taking you
in a dark secluded alley?”

“Seduce him? Please, Counselor. I’m just a helpless
woman. I said no, but he continued.”

“Helpless. Pfft!”

“Jillian!” Alexander scolded.

The class sighed. Paul’s eyes narrowed in on her. He
stood up, slightly, both palms against the stand in front of
him.

“Yes, Ms. Stone. Helpless. You seem to have an
issue. I don’t understand what you are getting at.”

“Is this Professor Black speaking or are you still
in character?” She stood with her hands crossed behind the
podium.

Paul sat back down. “Get to the point quickly,
Jillian, but, yes, I’m back in character.”

“The point is, Paul, I mean, Paulina, that you
seduced him. You went to that party because you knew he’d be there.
You wore a very revealing little dress, played with his emotions,
knew he’d follow you outside, and then hiked up your skirt so he
could have his way with you. You never loved him. You didn’t even
have feelings for him. You just go through men like they’re old
socks. The previous witness says she’s seen you with dozens of men,
all of whom are very wealthy, just like the defendant.”

“I did not use the defendant. He raped me. I said,
‘No.’ A woman can say ‘no,’ and the man has to respect that.”

“Well, sometimes a woman can be so dazzled by the
man—dark smoldering eyes, thick gorgeous black hair, possessive
caveman tendencies—that she forgets to say ‘no’ when all the signs
are pointing to ‘no’ like a big red neon billboard. The same thing
can happen in reverse. Just because she doesn’t actually say ‘no’
doesn’t mean that it isn’t assault. And you, Ms. Black, are no
damsel in distress. You led the defendant to believe that you loved
him, and then you left him, high and dry, without any sort of
explanation. You see him at a party, seduce him, claim him in front
of all his friends, and then declare rape. In fact, I am dropping
the charges of sexual assault against this defendant.” She pointed
to the defendant, whose mouth was open, along with the rest of the
students and faculty. “And I’m filing charges against you, Ms.
Black, for sexual assault.”

She swiped her papers from the podium. “Judge, the
state is dropping the charges,” she said and walked out the door of
courtroom, slamming the door behind her.

Holy shit. What the hell was I thinking?

Her chest heaved up and down. Alexander stormed out
of the courtroom. “Oh my God, Jill. Are you fucking crazy?” He
pulled her by the elbow to a quiet corner.

“I don’t know. I can’t believe I did that. It just
kind of came out. I think I got carried away.”

“You think?” A small smile curved the corner of his
lips.

“Do you think they’ll kick me out of school?”