Seeing Black (19 page)

“Oh, I know. When I was younger, I would get them
all the time. And they rarely occur when you are sitting at home
alone. Nope. They occur when you’re in a room full of people or,
worse, driving.”

“Oh no! Thank God that’s never happened to me. But
they are embarrassing, yes, and it’s horrible, and then you have to
explain to whomever is around at the moment.”

“You mean then you have to lie.”

“Well, yeah. Exactly.” This man, Rocco, her father,
he understood her, understood her fears, her concerns, and
hang-ups. No way could he be an evil man set on manipulating her.
She remembered Paul’s concerns a few days ago, and it now seemed
ridiculous. There was no way Rocco would hurt her. That
conversation with Paul and the subsequent fight with Alexander was
the last thing she remembered. It was vivid: Alexander and Paul in
a small room. Paul scolding her for visiting Rocco. Then being
tired but visiting Rocco anyway and sitting down for dinner . .
.

Alexander was going to be angry at her for visiting
Rocco, but he had been a complete jerk. He’d given her an
ultimatum, thinking she’d choose him over Rocco.
Well, I
certainly showed him!

***

Jillian opened her eyes and stretched her arms up to
the ceiling. She woke up, refreshed. Well rested. Ready to start
the day. She sat up, put her feet on the floor, and took in her
surroundings. Huh? She was slightly disoriented. Yesterday, she had
had a lovely dinner with Rocco. They’d gotten to know each other,
and she was about to leave, but . . .?

But what happened? Something was off. She stood from
the bed and walked towards the bedroom door. She glanced at herself
in the mirror right by the door. “What the hell?” She whispered as
she tugged on the white linen pajama pants and a matching top.
There were matching slippers in her size by the door. “I look like
a reject from a Ralph Lauren catalog.” It was a big change from the
camisole and panties she normally wore. Her red hair, which was way
too long, hung loose. She had definitely had a wonderful night’s
sleep. Now, if she could just remember something about it . .
.?

As she was about to open the door, a hand wrapped
around her mouth from behind her.

“Shh. I’m not going to hurt you, but you have to be
quiet.” Her instinct to fight kicked in, and she was about to elbow
the perpetrator in the ribs, but he pulled her back closer to his
body, immobilizing her. She could only breathe through her nose,
her chest rose and fell, and her heart thumped wildly. Definitely,
she was on the verge of passing out from utter fear. The room began
to sway, her ears popped, and her palms began to sweat. The voice
from behind, just inches from her ear, whispered, “I’m not going to
hurt you. I’ll let you go if you promise not to scream.” He
continued holding her for a few more moments. “Promise?” Her
options were bleak.

Just minutes ago, she’d woken refreshed but confused
and completely unsure of her whereabouts, and now some man held
her. Why? To kill her? To rape her? To save her? Who the hell knew?
But she nodded because, really, what choice did she have? He
loosened his grip just enough so that her wobbly knees gave way and
she began to fall, but the man grabbed her by her upper arms and
steadied her. “You okay?” She gulped, took a few deep breaths, and
when she was sure she wasn’t going to pass out, she nodded in the
affirmative. Once again, he released her but this time carefully
and just enough so that she was able to turn around, slowly.
Carefully.

Who she saw when she turned around did not make her
feel any better. In fact, the confused state of the morning seemed
to be the better option at the moment. Paul Black stood inches from
her, dressed in black sweat pants that hung low on his hips, a
black t-shirt, and black sneakers.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jill asked,
staring at the familiar, dark, penetrating eyes. She pushed back
slightly and held her hand out at arms-length.

“Keep your voice down,” he said. “Are you okay? I’ve
been looking for you for months. I had to follow a long paper trail
to find this house. It’s not under Rocco’s or Josef’s names.”

“You didn’t answer my question. Why are you here?”
She stepped away even further, needing space.

“We need to talk,” he whispered.

“No way. You’re here for my father. You want to hurt
him. I will not allow . . . Wait, months? Did you say months?”

“Listen, I don’t have much time. Someone will be
here soon if you’re not downstairs for breakfast. You’ve been here
for about six months and—”

“What!” Jill yelped.

“You have to lower your voice.” Paul took two large
steps towards Jill and covered her mouth with his hand. “We need to
get you out of here.”

“You’re just using me to get my father.”

“If I were using you to get your father, I’d have
gotten him already and not risked my life coming in here to try to
save you.” He reached up and put a wayward curl behind her ear, but
Jill swatted his hand away. “You have the wrong impression of me,
Jill. I’m not who you think I am.”

“You’re goddamn right you’re not. I read your text
message to Brian, remember? You never did give me an explanation on
that. So I’m just supposed to sit back and trust you?”

“Shit. I definitely have a lot to explain, but I
don’t have time now. Taylor can’t know I’m here. I have to make
this as quick as possible, and I think I’m going to freak you
totally out when I tell you.”

“Try me ’cause I’m not buying any of the shit you’re
selling me until you tell me something that’s true.”

“Fine.” Paul reached into his pocket and took
something out. “This,” he pointed at a photo, “is my sister,
Raquel.” Jill took the photo in her hand. She was looking at a
beautiful woman who looked nothing like Paul. She was blond and
fair skinned to the point of being almost albino-looking. Her
eyelashes and eyebrows were blond, making the blues in her eyes
seem almost clear. What was most noticeable and what she assumed
was the reason he had shown her the photo, was the red scar that
made her beautiful face look slightly disfigured. The scar began
between her eyebrows up her forehead and then was lost in her
hairline. As if he could read her mind, he said, “It continues up
her skull to the nape of her neck.”

Jill looked up at him questioningly, so he
continued. “Rocco and his brother used to experiment on children. I
won’t get into the specifics now, but they were big on researching
possible psychic warfare. They continued to reach dead ends. Most
of their studies were government sanctioned, but the U.S.
government didn’t allow them to perform research on children. Josef
felt that the innocent minds of children would be the key to their
success in finding out how to create psychics. Until that point,
all they knew was that they, Josef and Rocco, were the only
psychics. It was something they were just born with.”

“Like me,” she said.

“Yes, Jill, like you. You were born a psychic. It
was from your father’s side of the family, obviously, and, as you
may have noticed, their abilities are gone.”

“Yes. He told me it’s like a sixth sense that starts
deteriorating with age.”

“Yes. So when the U.S. sanctioned research ended,
Rocco and Josef decided to experiment on children on their own. I
think they believed they could sell their discovery or perhaps use
whomever they created for their own personal reasons. Whatever the
case, they experimented with kids, orphans specifically. Jill, I
was one of the orphans.”

Jill gasped and involuntarily placed her hand on his
chest. He continued, “And so was my sister, except that she’s not
really my sister, but because of all the drugs and surgery, she
doesn’t remember anything before we escaped.”

“And you?” She reached up and ran her hands through
his hair, feeling for scars. He closed his eyes and shook his
head.

With that information, Jill’s demeanor completely
changed, and her anger changed to concern. Paul must have noticed
because he walked to her and placed his hands around the sides of
her neck and leaned in to look into her eyes, his thumbs caressing
right below her ears. “It’s okay sweetheart. I’m okay.” He let go
and continued his story. “They experimented on me. I was one of the
lucky ones who got away unharmed, but Brian wasn’t so lucky. He got
away, but not unharmed. They fucked him up. He was majorly screwed
up by some experiments, and to top it off he’s so hell-bent on
killing Rocco and Josef that he doesn’t care who he hurts along the
way. He’s unpredictable. He approached me years ago to help him go
after Rocco and Josef. I was all for it since no one wants to see
those two dead as much as I do. I had to keep my cover, so to
speak, when I found out he discovered your existence. I couldn’t
let him get close to you, because he wouldn’t hesitate to kill you
in order to halt Rocco and Josef’s master plan or use you as bait
to get to them. I wasn’t willing to risk either of those options,
so he couldn’t know I knew about you all along or that I would
protect you at all costs. Brian thought you were in on it somehow.
I needed to keep him close. I needed to know what he knew. Jill,
I’ve been looking after you for a long time now. You may have met
me when you started law school, but I’ve been looking after you
since you were rescued from the island.” He quickly grabbed her and
set her on the bed. “I wish I had the time to go through all the
details, but I just don’t. Just trust me, Jill. I will explain
everything next time. Just know I never intended to hurt you, and I
didn’t lie when I told you I loved you. I did omit that I knew you
much better than you thought I did. For the last ten years, I’ve
been keeping my eye on you.”

“Excuse me?” Jill leaned towards him.

“Yes, Jill, I owed it to your mother. She was the
one who rescued me from Rocco and Josef. I knew about you, and I
looked after you to make sure Rocco and Josef never found out about
you. When they finally discovered your existence, I manipulated our
meeting in law school. I know it was wrong, but I had to keep you
safe. I had to keep you close. I swear I would never have hurt you
ever, and I truly am sorry that Heather got caught in the middle of
all this.” He seemed so sincere, but it was all so much to
process.

“Ten years?”

“Over ten years.”

“Wow. I don’t really know what to say about
this.”

“I meant it when I told you I loved you. Keeping an
eye on you from afar was one thing, but the day I helped carry your
books that first day of class . . . God, Jillian, I tried to keep
the illusion of just being your professor. I tried. That’s why I
was so ornery. I was fighting all these feelings inside. I had to
keep you safe, as I had been doing, but you seemed as impacted by
my presence as I was with yours. I admit I was completely jealous
of the Jacobs boy. I couldn’t help it, but I never meant to hurt
you. You have to believe that the text I sent was to keep Brian
thinking I didn’t know you. Had he found out about you and I lost
his trust . . . Your safety was not something I was willing to
gamble.”

“I . . . Okay, so come on. You want to help? Take me
home.”

“Oh, Jill,” he said, his face somber. “You can’t
leave. Haven’t you tried to leave? You can’t. It’s not that simple.
I’ve been hiding out and watching you for the last two weeks. I
couldn’t get inside because I didn’t know which room was yours and
I had to figure a way around the security system. I’ve seen you
have breakdowns outside. God, Jillian, I wanted to go to you and
help, but I couldn’t. I have to play this smart if I’m going to get
you out of here. Sweetheart, I can’t just take you with me. You
won’t make it out.” Jill continued to deliberate all the
information. Paul looked defeated. He seemed as if he wanted to say
something but that saying it would hurt her too much. “Honey, you
can’t leave, Jill. I’ve seen you try. You never make it past the
driveway. You get distracted. You seem to forget you want to go
home. Everything and anything distracts you.”

“What? No. I’m . . .”

“Honey, you’ve been here for six months or so, and
you can’t remember yesterday.”

“What do you mean? I remember having a conversation
with Rocco yesterday, and he said I’ve been here two days. Now you
tell me six months? I don’t know who to believe, but I do know I
want to go home.”

Paul reached under the mattress. “I brought you this
notebook the first time I came to see you. We’ve had this
conversation before. I want you to write what just happened right
now on here, and then I want you to hide it under your mattress.
Today, you must make all the necessary efforts to leave.”

“Okay.”

“Try to walk out the front door. There are no guards
or anything. I don’t think anyone will stop you, but I think you’ll
see that you can’t. You’re stuck here in Wonderland. He’s clouding
your mind, somehow.” Paul moved forward and cupped Jill’s face.
“Humor me, though. Write this incident down. Write down that I came
by. Write down the date. Make some notes that may help you
remember. Just do that for me.

“Why should I do anything for you? I don’t trust
you. Even if I don’t trust Rocco, I don’t trust you either. I think
you’re really overreacting. He’s not an
X-Man
or anything.
He’s just a man who used to be second-sighted, like me, and now
he’s not. End of story.”

Paul sighed. “You have reasons not to trust me. I
get it. I didn’t handle things correctly. I never expected that
you’d fall in love with Alexander the way you did. I thought . . .
I don’t know what I thought. I’ve loved you for so many years.
There are just so many things you don’t know, and it’s a story that
goes back twenty-plus years. There’s no time. Please, listen to me.
Look at me. See me. I am not lying. I am not here to hurt you. I
will take you back to Alexander, but I can’t do it today. I can’t
do it without a little faith in your part. So, please, just write.
Here,” He pushed the leather notebook at her. “Write down
everything I just told you, and pick something that will help
center you and trigger your memory. Something that will bring you
back to reality because, Jill, tomorrow when I’m back, you will not
remember anything that I just told you.”